Ladies, I love Atkins, but nothing has worked as well as the following 10 steps for me.
In my current state of frustration, I wrote this let off steam about our house. I love our house, but it needs work done in a certain "priority" that my dh has summarily ignored - choosing other things to accomplish instead. I
love my dh, too, but have lost 11 pounds since moving into the house
mainly because I don't have him cooking my dinner every night because
we have no kitchen and can ignore eating because I am too busy and
honestly too irritated and stressed to deal with food.
This is my "New Home Improvement Diet" plan:
One: Buy a "fixer-upper" that needs lots of work... do this while your
husband is unemployed and has lots of "spare time" to fix it up...
then make sure he doesn't actually DO the fixing that is necessary
for regular life but rather the fixing that "would be nice" first.
Two: Get your husband a job that causes him to work until 9:00 every
night but doesn't pay anything - or rather has a boss that refuses to
pay him.
Three: Deny yourself eating anything except that leftover french fry
in your daughter's happy meal... and maybe a cookie. The occasional
hamburger isn't forbidden either - but mostly just don't eat much.
You're too busy, stressed and irritated to eat... plus you don't have
the money for food anymore.
Four: Have a kitchen that is totally non-functional and beg your dh to
install your dishwasher so you can unpack and actually use your
kitchen. Repeat daily for 4 weeks.... until your dh quits his job so
he can install your dishwasher. Then start in on the baby gate that
he should have done 4 weeks ago.
Five: Once kitchen is functional, get dh a new job that keeps him
away from home just long enough so you can skip dinner. Decline all
offers of "bean burritos or soft tacos" after 8pm.
Six: Allow dh to get a puppy and spend $250. This now means that you
cannot eat because the dog has to. This also means that you are even
further irritated, which burns massive amounts of calories when
focused in the right direction. Oh, and be sure to expend lots of
this energy towards making your dh feel guilty.
Seven: Now that you have a dishwasher, spend every dinnertime hour
feeding your child and unpacking the kitchen while she eats. This
will last several days, if not weeks, and will burn off at least another 10
pounds.
Eight: Once kitchen is established (3 months into home dwelling time)
start eating dinner BEFORE your dh gets home from his evening job.
Then, he can fend for himself for dinner (regardless of what he gets
himself - this is not your concern. Your concern, until you reach
your goal weight, is what YOU are eating for dinner. When he starts
caring about what HE eats - he'll make good choices - once again, NOT
your concern.) You can also eat whatever you want, as long as you fit
it in between laundry, unpacking, getting dd to bed, and cleaning up
while preparing for the next day.
Nine: Start working on Office. This will require moving lots of
boxes, a fair amount of swearing, one broken knuckle and a cracked
vase since all boxes were stacked upon each other in a random
fashion. Each night at dinnertime, put your daughter's high chair in
livingroom so she can watch you move boxes around while she eats. Be
sure to keep the swearing under your breath as she will repeat it to
Grandma when you least expect it. This will take at least another
month which will burn at least another 10 pounds if you eat a small
amount of whatever you want and some salad - be sure to use real dressing.
Avoid Rice cakes to prevent confusion with packing foam.
Ten: Once you have lived in the house for 6 months, reevaluate where
you are in the unpacking process. If there are still boxes to unpack,
throw them out. But, make sure that you do this during dinnertime. If
you continue to eat whatever you want - and continue to be too
irritated to eat too much, you will lose more weight. Especially if you
don't eat such late dinners with your dh. Once the irritation passes,
if it does, focus this energy towards making better food choices and
exercising... in all the spare time you used to use unpacking.
Okay, that is as far as I got. I will write more chapters when we get
the kitchen and office finished.
*insert deep breath here...*
New Home Improvement Diet
Im sorry to be laughing so hard! I really do wish I could help ya get situated. Still....
