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Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

Rant: insults directed to image before weight loss/ obtuse relatives

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Old 11-11-2012, 11:02 PM   #16
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My family does things like that. My uncle broke my heart when my mom mentioned I lost 45 pounds and he said he thought I gained. My great aunt....shudder.

I'm sure when I lose there will be a Christmas pool on how long it takes me to gain. Oh well. I'm proud of myself.
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Old 11-12-2012, 09:47 AM   #17
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Maybe just tell people, "Hey, this is between you and me? I really appreciate that I can confide to you." and that way, you've 1. guilt tripped them into not saying anything and 2. made sure you've only told who you know won't intentionally belittle you.
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:13 AM   #18
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About relatives ... and my weight ... all I can say is, in my experience, NOTHING GOOD ever follows or precedes the phrase, "I'm just saying this for your own good ..."

It's like they more or less issue themselves a license to descend into utter tactlessness and beyond that, into cruelty.

And I sit there, silent and incredulous, thinking of all the things I could tell them "for their own good" about getting their own lives together -- and don't. Because it would be invasive and probably not really helpful.
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Old 11-12-2012, 10:52 AM   #19
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I don't know what causes people to believe that it is OK to insult and cause pain to those who are overweight. What gives them the right to say things like "Why did you let yourself go like this ?". I don't know how to respond to such a statement.
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Old 11-18-2012, 03:35 AM   #20
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I had a guy come up to me in the aisle of a supermarket and tell me that I was too fat to need any more food. I confronted him and he seriously thought he was doing this for my own good and the good of the community. Could not be budged on his belief that itvwould make me change my mind about being fat.
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Old 11-18-2012, 04:06 AM   #21
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I think people sometimes just don't filter what's coming out of there mouth.
Sometimes they really believe they are helping and even when they aren't they are clueless.
I have no trouble acknowledging I'm Fat but sometimes family/friends/ strangers
Have problems admitting they are Insensitive Jerks who's mouth needs a muzzle!
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Old 11-18-2012, 09:55 AM   #22
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All I can say is protect yourself. I liked Kaplods responses.
Our emotional selves are just if not more vulnerable then our physical selves. Such negative comments listed above are abusive plain and simple. I for one refuse to engage with abusive people.
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