Happy Monday, diet coaches/buddies. Credit for 7 days OP recording foods, with 4 lbs lost. Only one more pound to my mini goal & I have no idea what my reward should be!?! I can not remember being this low since before kiddos (oldest is 15!). Finally got doggie to go for a longer walk by insisting he go on every time he turned around and stopped. I think he enjoyed seeing the grass and people at the park.

bethFromDayton Congrats on 32 das as well as OP and a walk! It is good that you realize about yourself that you follow your plan best when made the night before, that will be so helpful to you. I think the 'coach sessions' are individual trainer times, but I don't have any idea what they'll do....my guess is torture me! :)

systemsaddict What plan are you following for low carbs? I wouldn't want salad in the cold either! Credit for getting rest. :) Love your idea for a 'have it later' candy box.

seadwaters Good job sticking to your plan with the hamburder. I'd love your dill pickle recipe as they are a favorite here and I'd enjoy a healthier fermented version. Cute photo, looks like they love their ball. My dog was up again at 1, but then slept till 7...hope he learns to sleep better.

BillBlueEye Fig Newtons are one of my favorite cookies, but only one of my boys likes them so I don't buy them often (or I'd eat them all). I usually just use the treadmill (at the YMCA) so I look forward to adding some variety to my exercise. Treadmills are boring!

gardenerjoy Cool that you will have that time with our nephew and that he is interested. Quick suppers are definately the best! Wow, 177 is a long "stretch" of daily exercise. :dizzy:

Good day so far. Was finally able to turn the lights out last night, knowing I'd stayed below my calorie goal, despite wanting this and that. Credits to me for NOT putting items in my cart at the market that are too tempting. But honestly, I'm WAY more excited about a small baked potato than I am about a cookie. Double that for roasted sweet potato wedges (made some last week that were sweet and spicy and scrumptious).

Hoping to get home during daylight to do a brief walk with the pooch ... if not, I'll roll out my yoga mat early, let all the pets inspect and stretch on it (not sure why, but each cat will go into cat pose on it only lasting until I grab my phone to get a pic) and then use it later this evening. Arm is still sore from pulling something when doing all the shoveling, but is improving gradually. I want to get more of my yoga basics down while DH is working nights. Sad that I've forgotten so much and that breathing slowly is such a challenge.

Reading a strange little book, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. Certainly not deep, but definitely thought-provoking.

AZTricia - kudos to you for the four pounds down and the week recorded! YAY. What way are you leaning for your reward at five down? I haven't done rewards myself and think I'm too impatient for them :)

Bill - Well, now I'm looking forward to the Manning/Brady matchup, since the Colts' season ended - phooey. :) Actually I like Brady; it's his wife who drives me buggy. The plans for next weekend have already been worked around the games. This is the only time of the year that occurs, thank goodness.

Hello coaches,

Morning of the second day of holidays and i am on track!

I had forgotten how good a cook my sister-in-law is (we are staying with them) so that will be a blessing and a challenge all rolled into one! Mostly healthy - but just so yummy it is hard to step. I think i also need to prepare myself for the challenge of declining dessert if it is offered every night.

I came up with two really helpful extra strategies in addition to my special holiday cards. The place we are visiting is foodie heaven so i have decided that if it isn't really special food then it is not worth using extra calories. That way i will be able to enjoy the culinary delights while staying in maintenance calories.

The second strategy comes from the fact that my partner and i have a long time goal of buying a few acres of land here, building a strawbale house and then moving down here when the kids are grown. So my strategy, at any temptation to overspend or overeat is to just look out the window and remind myself that restraint right now will enable me to own a patch of this paradise and help build my home on it one day. The views here are breathtaking so it is pretty hefty motivation.

Almost forgot credits: limiting the amount of yummy sister in law prepared dinner i ate last night; not having a second beer; not having a chocolate with after dinner tea; doing exercise in the morning before heading off on hols

Good Evening, Coaches.

First day back to work after a three week holiday. I actually went in a day early because my anxiety about getting some projects done was increasing. Credit for being proactive. I can take the comp day later in the year.

Super credit for remembering after a long holiday that I don't eat sweets at work. Super tough and there were some moments when I was actually DEPRESSED about the thought of no sugar to get me through the work. I practiced trying to stand outside of myself and say, "I wonder why she is so sad." Using distance between rational thought and my emotions in this case was very helpful. I was able to see that a feeling is just a feeling. Credit for also planning ahead yesterday for a treat AWAY from work at lunch because I had done so well over the weekend.

A few people asked for the quinoa recipe which was yummy and enjoyed by all. This is the modified version I did:

Quinoa Salad with Orange and Walnut

Cook quinoa by putting in a saucepan 1 1/2 cups water and 1 cup quinoa.Simmer 15 minutes. (I actually did this in my rice cooker.)

In a bowl mix dressing of 1/2 t. orange zest, 3T orange juice, 1 T white wine vinegar, 1 t. sesame oil and S&P. Steam four cups chopped broccoli. Transfer to a large bowl. Drizzle with 2 T. soy sauce. Add 3 cups cooked quinoa, sections of 1 orange, juice of 1 orange, 1/2 cup chopped walnuts and dressing.

Wave to all today. Back tomorrow.

Helloooo..... I feel weird that I don't make comments on all your posts but I feel like I don't know you very well yet.... :)

Anyhow..... My commitment to eat one piece of cake was a success Saturday night! Of course my first thought was that they cut the pieces WAY too small :D

The real miracle is that the rest of the cake came home with us and I didn't eat any of it! I weighed myself Saturday morn and I had lost 4 lbs so I'm happy about that. I feel like I'm on a good path right now. I haven't progressed very far in the book but I have definitely implemented some of the tools that are really working well for me . Thanks again for your encouragement and inspiration!

Hi all!

Today was an OP food day. My only deviation from my pre-done plan was a fruit substitution at dinner--based on what looked good at the grocery store!

I actually brought three days worth of lunch and snack to work today--now I don't have to think about it until Wednesday night. We're going out to dinner tomorrow night to a restaurant that is not my favorite. It's a group event and I didn't pick the place. I was going to skip it but DH really wants to go and so we are. I used their on-line menu to pick something out and adjusted to skip my evening sweet snack and I'll be OP. (Have already entered tomorrow in MFP)

I found out today that there's a trainer who comes in 3 days a week at work and does classes towards the end of the day--I told two of the women I'd do it Wednesday. I'll have to get to work a bit early to be able to start it (or stay after the class) but that'll be good for me--and exercising with other people is easier for me.

moebug: Congrats on the cake--know that feeling of it being a "small piece"! It's great that using your resistance muscle showed results! (And don't worry about not doing personals--we all do them differently and whatever you do or don't do is fine.)

maryann: Thanks for the visual of "why is she so sad?" (I'm going to use it at my next Big Party.) Not eating sweets at work is hard!

ForMyGirls: Great idea to use where you are--and want to be--to keep yourself on track.

nationalparker: Big credits for controlled grocery shopping!

AZTricia: 7 days and 4 lbs? That's awesome! (where in AZ?)

seadwaters: I've never even bought kale, let alone had a glut of it! :-) Credit for having a plan for the restaurant and following it!

gardenerjoy: The magic Girl Scout Cookie phrase is "Gift of Caring". I hope you had a great day with your nephew and ended up at places where good food choices were easy! 177 days of exercising is amazing--there aren't enough bytes for all the credit for that!

BillBE: Your bird watching walks sound wonderful. 54 days! I needed the goal reminder today--I'm bouncing my head way ahead--instead of concentrating on the mini-goal of 5 lbs at a time.

systemsaddict: Soup is wonderful when it's cold. Beck says that being prepared is key--so keeping food in the house that works for you so it's easy to stay OP is key.

Take care all!

Tuesday night
 

Hi coaches

I had breakfast out and stayed on plan - I planned what I would have and stayed with that. I sometimes cringe at the necessity to keep doing the planning if (when) I lose the weight and reach maintenance (at the moment that seems a distant possibility given my total lack of progress). The recent discussion about the difference between losing and maintaining was enlightening - and discouraging for someone who likes "spontaneity". Spontaneity with eating doesn't seem to cut it with people with an ongoing weight management issue - maybe it doesn't cut it with anyone really but we don't notice their control (Beck makes a good point about that). Anyway I am down today because of my total lack of progress with weight loss.

A few days ago I heard that a colleague of mine had a stroke - he is a close colleague who I see daily when I am at work. He is also the healthiest person I know. He is thin, eats a very calorie restricted diet, and runs or walks large distances daily. He is not focussed on food and might be considered an ascetic who eats as a bodily necessity (quite the opposite of my hedonistic self :) ). He is about 67 and tomorrow I turn 63 so thinking about mortality :). Fortunately it is a fairly mild stroke but he has right sided paralysis (which will be helped by physio) and his short term memory is temporarily (hopefully) affected - not good for a philosopher. I am not sure what it all means but it was disturbing and I have been dwelling on it. I have had a few health scares and am trying to take a very healthful, evidence based approach to diet. Not to prolong life but to improve it. Not sure what could have helped my colleague who has realised that there is a family history of high blood pressure.

Credit for:
Having a plan and sticking to it
Doing my steps by lunch time and then adding to them
Thinking about the meaning of a healthful way of eating and living for overall health and wellbeing
Logging my food on MFP
Reporting in to this list

AZtricia - I don't think that there is a recipe for dill pickles - from what I can tell "fermenting" is a way of life LOL. I can give you some websites and resources (most of them US) if you want to have a go - but it seems to demand quite a bit of dedication and attention. I woke at 2am (as I do and then go back to sleep) and thought I would check my kefir (which yesterday had turned to cheese) and it was ready in 12 not 24 hours. So it seems to have a long learning curve - which I am enjoying but if I had any sort of life I would find it difficult to keep on top of it all. When I go back to work it might all fall apart. The main website and book that I am using is: http://www.lisascounterculture.com/. You also need to find a source of some of the starters for the ferments mentioned - the ones I use are Australian

Moebug - congrats for one piece of cake and even letting it into your home and not eating it - huge credit. Lovely to read "I feel like I'm on a good path right now."

Take care coaches

Hello coaches,

Moebug - so fabulous to hear your tale of leftover cake remaining uneaten. How affirming to know that it is possible to join in the celebration without falling into sugar oblivion.

I am reporting another OP holiday day. In fact today is OP for weight loss calories (rather than maintenance calories which is my holiday plan) Credit: I was tempted to have some extra food this evening because i was "allowed" under my extended holiday calories but then i remembered that they are there for special things i wouldn't be able to have when i am not here in paradise so i 'closed the kitchen' at my usual 1600 calories. Credit: we went to the world's most amazing bakery this morning (one of my most anticipated highlights whenever i holiday here). I listened to my body and chose a savoury item that was divine. Certainly not a low calorie brunch, but well able to be worked into a day that involved lots of walking around - and that left me with a feeling of nourishment, not sickly sweetness, as bakery choices so easily can. It came on a bed of rocket (aragula i believe to the Americans amongst us). This area is renowned for the quality of fresh produce so it was fresh and flavourful. It was lovely to notice how yummy the green bits were and not just the rest. A very mindful eating experience. Hooray.

Tuesday
 

Diet Coaches/Buddies – Eating was on plan, including snacks, CREDIT moi, bringing my streak to 55. My only snack for the day was an old orange from at least a month ago in the evening. It wasn't very tasty, nor satisfying, so I immediately thought that another one was a good idea. When I have a terrific orange, I think about how good it tasted. Perhaps that's a clue as to why I ate so many cookies before my journey - they weren't really satisfying so I kept trying. I'm out of the pecans that I use on my peanut butter sandwich at lunch so I used some of the trail mix that Santa brought containing dried cranberries and mixed nuts - a surprise at each bite, but makes me want to get to Trader Joe's for my favorite pecans.

Exercise didn't happen. I had a string of things to do that required me to wait for phone calls at my desk containing the supporting paperwork. The good news is that I got both affairs resolved.


Joy (gardenerjoy) – Ouch for two four hour drives today. Hope all goes well. I, too, am impressed with your 177 day streak exercising. Send me some of your pixie dust.

Cheryl (seadwaters) – Ouch for facing the reality that medical events happen even to the fit. Kudos for using it to reinforce your own dedication to your plans that can improve the quality of your life.

maryann - Yep, Super Kudos for "remembering after a long holiday that I don't eat sweets at work." Would you be willing to add your quinoa recipe to our Beck recipe thread?

nationalparker – Yay for "roasted sweet potato wedges" with Kudos for getting yourself to the place where those sound yummy. [I, too, am looking forward to a Manning/Brady matchup with an appropriate dread.]

Beth (bethFromDayton) – You are amazingly on plan when a "fruit substitution at dinner" is your only deviation - Kudos. A group helps me do the exercises that I find boring and that don't have weight numbers associated with them.

ForMyGirls - Congrats for choosing a sister-in-law who's a good cook with Kudos for recognizing the challenge you face. Love the notion of a strawbale house in a breathtaking area. Are those common or would you be a trailblazer? Kudos for enjoying "the world's most amazing bakery" in a mindful way. I really like being reminded that our eating plan doesn't preclude the amazing.

Maura (Moebug) - Major Kudos for bringing that cake home but not digging into it. My take is that it's best to avoid personals for a spell and to concentrate on frequent status posting. After a while, individuals come into focus - especially others just starting. Then a few personals become easy to do.

AZtricia - Congrats on those four pounds gone forever. Kudos for thinking seriously about a reward for five pounds; for me, it was fun to realize how many time a food reward popped into my brain.

Readers -

Hi Coaches!

Trying for a quickie check in even though smoothie awaits downstairs and I have under 1/2 hr until I need to be at work. Food continues to be unplanned, for the most part yet acceptable. Daily weighing gives me confirmation that I'm doing what I need to be doing right now. It's the first Winter on record that I haven't gained weight. credit.

BBE, thanks for the orange report...I'll stick to my bananas, apples and pineapple for now.

Cheryl(seadwaters), it's interesting to me that although I haven't lost a pound in the past 3 months that I've shrunk another size. I think this process isn't always about the # on the scale and that our bodies readjust in other ways as we get healthier. You are on track refining your plan and making new and healthy changes. Keep it up and keep coming here! It is a long term strategy for success.

Beth(fromDayton), thanks for your comments regarding my staying on track without that solid written plan. I thought about it and it has alot to do with my "plan of choice", SBD. I have approved foods and foods I don't eat. Taking Dr.Beck's advice regarding arranging my environment has helped me lots. The food we eat is here...the food we don't eat isn't. For me, it's quite different and it works for both of us, since we're at the age where healthier is our best option. DH has a weight problem, too.....he can't keep it on. lol There are several snacks that he enjoys but aren't good for me. Most I don't enjoy so that helps.

OK, everyone, I've got to run! A collective great job we're doing here! I enjoy reading and try and participate a bit when I can. Thx!

We stopped for Mexican food on the way home from our business trip, so my day didn’t go according to plan. But I made a reasonable choice at supper, and took half the entrée home for lunch. I did my trick of counting tortilla chips. That was especially effective sitting across from the nephew. Well before I go to my limit of 6 chips, he’d eaten them all!

I also skipped all my snacks. So I feel happy about how I handled the day.

WI: NA kg, Exercise: +15 615/1400 minutes for January, Food: 80%op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes

BillBlueEyes and Lexxiss: my recently purchased oranges are good.

seadwaters: sorry for the worry about your colleague's health.

maryann: good for you for figuring out that an early return to work would be helpful. I like your image of standing outside yourself to observe emotion -- that sounds helpful!

Getting back into the swing of things after a crazy eating weekend. Hoping to lose a lb and a half this weekend. My official weigh in day it on Friday but I think I am going to have to change it to Saturday because my husbands day off is Thursday and that throws off my eating schedule.

I start class today. Really nervous about the new term. New building and parking is a nightmare. I have to push through the anxiety. I have to do it!!! For my family.

Bill. I just threw my month old oranges away. They looked terrible. My husband will only buy them in season so I doubt he will get me any more. Three of them had got pushed back in the drawer and before I knew it they were shriveled and gross.

Credits. Weigh in today. Planned food on my fitness pal. Set a goal and working on it. Walking at the college. Saying oh well and letting things go. Reading arc daily. Working on getting fruits and veggies in for the day. Checking in here (I read always).

Hope you are all good. Thanks for listening.

I need to work on the mental aspect of wanting that scale reward ... have done well lately and hopped on the scale (well, actually, timidly stepped on, allowing the weight to s-l-o-w-l-y move onto the scale so as to not shock it and punish me) ... and nothing different. I KNOW that losing weight also involves losing water, muscle, etc., and it's not a true reflection, but for some reason in my mind, this morning was the morning that I would see it drop back down into the 169s. Maybe this was a wakeup call to me to start trying to lose that focus and work on adding in the activity side more.

Surfed the internet for quite a while last night, looking for ideas for DH's birthday in a few weeks. We're doing the cruise, but that's not really his present ... and tend to look more for experience type of gifts - trips/concerts/performances and not sure what route I'll be taking. Fun to explore. That will probably be my focus this evening, as well. Neither of us are "Vegas" type folks, but we both do want to see the Circle "Love" Beatles performance one day, but not affordable right now.

Bill - You must get much better oranges than I ever select. Every time you write about a great one, I pick some up at the market and they're mediocre at best. What are your tips for top ones? All I look for are thinner skin and heavy and don't worry about color.

ForMyGirls - Whoo hoo on the day two holiday going so well!! I loved your plan to look out the window and into the future for your dreams to be realized with a home there. That must really be exciting.

Will check in tonight - need the accountability when DH's at work. Last two nights were GREAT, though. (In not eating more, not that I was alone.)

Good day Coaches! :coffee2:

It has been exactly one week since I posted last. However, I have spent about an hour reading the seven pages of posting from all of you so I can 'catch up' on how you all are doing.

First of all, I had "planned" on posting sooner but I got the influenza this past Sunday and I slept 12 hours that day and 10 hours today. That doesn't leave much computer time after I factor in light "straightening up" and a surprise need to clear off our open front porch so our property management can power wash all exteriors. My mini-rant is: this is a dumb a$$ idea-mid January and it is supposed to be below 32 degrees(freezing) tonight. In spite of being sick, last night I bundled up and swept the porch floor of any residual winter dried leaves from our woods since I didn't want those frozen to the floor when I put all of our outdoor furniture back on there. BBE, you are having 60 degree weather, really? It is in the mid-40s here in GA. WTH?

Credit: I am sticking to my word about being honest about my weekly weigh ins with one of the other online diet support groups that I have belonged to for nearly three years. Reporting a re-gain of 0.8 lbs. sucked. If there is a reward in being honest I fail to see it at this point. I just felt more disgusted with the "re-gain" than the honesty in reporting it.:mad:

Credit: I joined gardnerjoy's monthly exercise challenge in January. I have always loved being active so this is not much of a personal challenge for me BUT I will admit that I am most proud of doing the Leslie Sansone Walk dvd with my DH last night. He really needs to work out (high stress, high cholesterol in spite of eating healthy and very sedentary) and now he is telling me that he wants to exercise. Just saying that almost brings me to tears. I want him in my life "forever" and so I worked out with him last night in spite of the fact that my legs felt like limp spaghetti. I am more proud of last night's efforts than all of the days previous.

Credit: Two months ago a friend of my DH's gave him a surrender novena (a prayer mantra said 9 consecutive days ) and it has revolutionalized my inner life! My ever-present anxiety has all but disappeared and watching miracles coming out of "nowhere" is just plain amazing! Now, to keep working on being patient.

Speaking of which; nationalparker and onebyone, I hear you so loud and clear on where you are because I am there too! I have been working out daily, staying within my caloric range, eating healthy and "nothing, absolutely nothing!" I even changed the battery on my "bells n whistle" scales --trying to eliminate all possible causes for this lack of loss. Onebyone, at least, you can point to the candy. I can't point to anything except "possibly" some added sodium.

Onebyone: I have been using the Beck strategies for two years and what I have finally come to the conclusion is that it seems that I needed to get one of the skills down at a time and then just go down the list. It does mean that I am at this longer than some (and that totally bums me out) but I will say that once a pound is gone it usually stays gone. I remember when I had difficulty with late night snacking. I did the same thing that FMG did, staying up and playing online games (cards), just cheating myself out of a decent night's sleep. Well, I also got into the habit of late night snacking as well. I killed two birds with one stone by both having a cut off time for bedtime and with that went the snacking. I am sure that you will find something that will work for you. You are very resourceful when it comes finding solutions to your life problems. Just don't put yourself down while you are searching for it. :hug::goodluck: P.S. STRESSED is DESSERTS spelled backwards. Just a thought.

One of the things that I have taken away from Dr. Beck that I think is not often mentioned is: just because we do or did things a certain way in the present/past doesn't mean that we always have to do that. Bill and his oranges was the most recent example of memory but I remind myself more that "just because" I did it one way doesn't mean I can't do it another way. Sometimes, just reminding myself that helps me to see the situation for what it is and then a certain clarity comes from that.

bethfromdayton: :congrat: on your one year with the Beck system. I agree with the others: your strength is your organized pre-planning. I am amazed that you managed to lose 50 lbs without any exercise. Did I understand that correctly? I know that both are essential for me. It is like having a right and left hand. I need both to get the "job done". It also looks like you are close to maintenance. :bravo:

I see that there is an ongoing discussion about calories, food plans and such. My DH said to me yesterday, "You eat normally" and "I see you are conditioning your body." Thank you, DH, for noticing. I really needed to hear those words. I have always said that the food plan that I wanted "forever" would be one that I could stick with day in and day out. There are many things that I have "given up" that I honestly don't mind. After awhile, I just even forget that I once liked them. Although, Dr. Beck would say that is "drawing a line", I would say that one day I realized that I didn't "need" (nor want) those same foods any more. This year is the "Year of No Pizza". Considering this is equivalent of putting my only born on e-bay; this is a major deal. Now, how to explain that to my food-centric family when they arrive will take some doing but I will come up with something. Maybe, I will be "pizza-intolerant" when they come.:D

ForMyGirls: Thank you for sharing about how things are going on your family vacation. I have mentioned before that my sister et al are coming for a visit and I have already thought through how I am going to handle food pushers, people who eat "like crap" and just upsetting my general routine.

AZtricia: Good Job on the 4 lbs. gone forever!

nationalparker: Several days in the pink book are dedicated to both dealing with disappointment as well as the definition of a plateau. I am where you are at. I took a siesta from daily working out this past fall and now I am back hammering away at it. I also have reminded myself that inactivity is what puts pounds back on. My spin on why the elderly eat less is because those people who are chronically inactive have less of an appetite plus a lot of the elderly are on so many medications that also suppress the appetite. Since I have a history of being active (except this past fall, for some odd reason) I have been advised to eat according to the calories I burn. I can't slash my calories too much because I run the risk of too low blood glucose. Like most things in life, it is a balancing act. My best wishes to you uncovering what is the block in your life as well. Just know, I am there myself. It just plain sucks!:mad:

BBE: potassium can also be found in some vegetables like :broc:. Off the top of my head I can't remember which other ones do but my guess is that most really dark leaved vegetables also have some potassium. So you don't have to eat all of that fruit. Also, remember to check your calcium intake. It is the combination of sodium-potassium-calcium that keeps your heart healthy. Again, many of the darker leaf vegetables also have traces of calcium in like :broc: :D:

seadwaters: My condolences regarding your co-worker's stroke. I am wondering though how this man's stress level was. The CEO of a company I used to work for gave a speech about stress when he had a heart attack even though he was the "picture of health". Hence, my concerns for my DH. TG we are praying the surrender novena. It has made a world of difference for me. Short of moving to the Mediterranean (a food plan I so happen to love), I have seen the value is "stressing less".

Moebug: WTG on the cake test. You passed with flying colors. :woohoo:

maryann: Loved your tip on releasing your personal "baggage". I have an empty box that I am working on filling. I too have done this and I am doing a first for me: we are planning on moving within the next couple of months and I am starting packing now but with the same idea as yours---don't box up what I don't want to unbox once we get there. So it is sort of a "purging" as I go project. When taking down all of the holiday decorations, I decided that I would also edit what I owned and donate the rest. It took longer but now next year when I unpack all of this (also thanks for color-coded plastic bins as well-thanks to Home Depot recent sale) I can just put it all up in jiffy. Well, in theory anyway. :D

gardenerjoy: loved your French restaurant story as well as pix. Great Job on the continuing of exercise streak. I agree that most foods have way too much salt although it is quite easy to steer oneself around it. Less is best in almost every department.

AZtricia and seadwaters: Loved the photos of the cute dogs. Mine are in doggie heaven. I do not currently own pets although I do miss having a cat until I read that the two main reasons for older people falling (and breaking something) is 1) cats (under foot) and 2) clutter. So, since I am working on the later, I have decided to forego the former since I just rebroke the same toe that I broke last year this time when I accidentally hit it with a metal folding chair I was putting away. (sigh). I am a danger to myself sometimes. :?:

Losetoall and systemsaddict: Hey! :dancer: Loving thoughts go your way.

Lexxiss: I always think of the car when I see your name. Sorry but that is how word association works with me. Gosh, you sound even more organized than I think I am. Great Job in juggling all of those balls and making it look so simple. I know it is not.

Still experimenting with the half-portion of a single serving. It is eye-opening and I find myself quite comfortable with these smaller portions. Life is interesting, isn't it? When we relax and instead of resist, things become easier.

Love, Pam :comp:

my day
 

Coaches

So yesterday I went to the gym to meet with my personal trainer and to do a follow-up weigh-in/body fat/etc thing. When I first joined they weighed me and the scale measures fat vs. muscle. I joined in November and every month or so you can check this again so we scheduled it for right after my first training session. So... what. Well the good news is I weigh 265.8 in the afternoon on a foreign scale so I really do deserve my 2 movies in a row reward. *credit* The bad news is since my first day at the gym on my birthday in November I have lost 1.2 lbs. AND the loss has come not from fat but muscle. I guess this is the downside of a scale that sensitive. Now the woman who did the measuring is the only person at the gym that I dislike. She is a hard-sell you-need-more personal training sessions not-good-enough type of gal. I don't think she "gets" what it's like to weigh what I do or what it takes for me to motivate me to be and to stay there, let alone the financial resources it takes to take even one training session. Anyway, I remind myself it is her JOB to SELL training. So when she questioned why ONLY 7 half hour sessions and insinuated it wouldn't be enough to get me to my goals, which we didn't discuss (that was with the trainer) I just said it was all I could afford and that it would be enough to keep me on track. She then mentioned the 1.2lb loss being muscle loss and I'd need "intensive weight training" and more training sessions, like at least 30 minutes every week, should be my aim. I can't justify that to DH who has seen me try and fail at weight loss efforts for 2 DECADES. As it is I hardly believe (truth be told) that *I* will see it through. This was discussed with the trainer btw who wrote in my file, under goals, "confidence". My job is to do the work and keep an open mind. I have other goals I am striving for. It's like you don't get happy by pursuing happiness. You get happy by doing things worthwhile, loving, honorable. Happiness is a by-product I believe and we're not supposed to always be happy anyway--I do believe that. Off topic here. My bad. So anyway after pondering if a 165lb body would have as much muscle as my 265lb body (would it?) and whether muscle loss is inevitable (is it?) I feel depressed. The training session was a "getting to know my body and its range of motion" session. She's going to work up a program for me and in the meantime I am to do my program as it stands so I get back into it. I, of course, do not feel like going at all now. I feel *discouraged*. Maybe I am actually pissed off? Partly yes I am. I hate it when my effort is not recognized and when I feel "not good enough". That really ticks me off. I *should* turn this into an "I'll show you" moment--that's worked very well for me in the past. Of course, I'll benefit from this and the other person is already off on some other personal adventure that has nothing to do with me and my feelings.

I'm also just generally irritated by humanity. But not much I can do about that. I think the day started off with generalized talk of people giving people mean gestures while driving.There's an awful lot of that around here. The drivers are SUPER aggressive. DH says I am just suffering from it being the middle of January. True enough. This is my worst month of the year. I used to acknowledge it and give myself permission to indulge in the Days of Sloth with my other artisan friends when we did craploads of xmas shows. Not having done that, I feel I should be super productive.

Wow. I'm crabby.

Hope you guys feel good! :wave: