My husband yelled at me embarrassing me at a fair in front of my kids; he doesn't usually act like that until he has had too much to drink. But for a good 15 minutes embarrassed me in front of others saying he didn't care. Then he left me with three kids and walked home. i got a hotel room for the night... Do you think this is something I should put up with? We have been married for 7 years and he has walked home twice but someitmes I have buttered him up so he doesn't act this way, but this time I didn't do anything!! I am not going to put up with it. My nine year old had to plug his ears. It was embarrassing. I have gained weight I know and it is that time of the month this week. Just lovely........
No I don't think you should HAVE to put up with it. You deseve to be respected. I have been in bad relationships and I know leaving can be scary but its no good to live you life like that. I am not telling you to leave him, only you can decide if thats right for you. But just remember life is to short why spend it unhappy. Put your foot down and take contol if you can work it out with him fine or if leaving is better fine either way do what best for you and your children to be happy. I wish you the best of luck.
I turned of my cell and my dh called two times worried about me then in the morning I got his messages and then I felt bad. We both appologized later in the day and said it would never happen again. I guess this is what marriage is; the both of us working together and not taking each other for grantide. thanks for your reply!! My dh really is normally a good man; I guess we all have our moments. Although me staying in a hotel for the night and him not knowing where I was did show him, I was not going to be treated that way by anyone. I know I am not a perfect wife either.
oh loveandlaughalways, i hope it all works out for the best - you deserve it. and more importantly, your kids deserve the best. when your dh yells at you like that in front of your kids, it is traumatizing for them and it's not something they should witness. i hope that your dh can realize that point and learn to take it somewhere else away from your kids. the best for you, girl, i am praying for you.
gabrielbeth
Dr. Phil once said. "people will only treat you as badly as you allow them to." Good for you for getting a hotel. Hopefully that gave him a little lightbulb moment. In the next day or two when there is nothing confrontational going on, ask him if he has a few minutes and sit down where you cant be interupted and tell him how his behavior makes you feel. Try to get him to put himself in your shoes. If he was standing around with his buddies and you yelled at him like that, ask him how that would have made him feel. Communication is key, at least with my dh it is.
Right now, we are watching a couple we care about very much, split. It's awful! We're about driving each other crazy communicating
My husband is a very quiet man but he's talking to me and I'm talking to him. We're forever 'clarifying'.
Even he (who hardly ever says three words together) knows that this couple should talk ... er should have been talking for the last 15 years. We listen to both sides and think "that's not what he/she thinks you meant". It's very sad.
Do you think counseling might help? With this last outburst, do you know what set him off? Was he drinking? I think you did the right thing by staying at a hotel with your kids for the night. In a sense, he also did a good thing by walking away. He at least chose to leave instead of doing something else he might regret (being physical?). I do think that your children witnessing his behavior is not good. I still remember the two times that my dad got really mad. (I was around 6-9 then and I'm 37 now.) Besides the alcohol, what else is going on with him? Does he have anger issues? Do you think he's an alcoholic?
I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. If this were just the two of us, my husband and me.. I would say counseling. We don't have any kids yet but if we did, then I would be strongly considering how this would be effecting them. I wouldn't want them to think this kind of behavior is acceptable. So, what would I do? I don't know.
Location: Mississippi--the fattest state in the nation!
Posts: 11
S/C/G: 163/152/125
Height: 5'3"
Marriage is tough. I am having a rough split with my husband. He left me in August. I decided then that I was taking my life back. I am not gonna be fat anymore, not gonna be tired all the time, not gonna be subjected to a man's harsh comments! Stay positive about how far you've come and where you're going in life. I hope and pray for the best for you and your family!
Ya know, I would have stayed gone much longer. Made him really regret doing it and think twice before doing it again. The biggest issue isn't his tantrum but the yelling in front of your children. The next time...If he can't conduct himself maturely not just for the sake of his children but out of respect and love for you, then its up to you to not give him the option. Good luck and God bless!
For what it's worth, I am a child of an angry father and it can be pretty traumatic for the kids. Even if it isn't "all the time," like my dad, even if it wasn't a violent incident, like my dad, it will still have a lasting effect. Not only did I, and I imagine your children might feel this way as well, not feel safe when my father was in a temper, but it gave me a warped sense of what personal relationships should be. You may want to talk to the husband about what effect this may be having on your children; you don't want them to end up following in his footsteps.
My husband just left me...
