1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
That was great. I have a son that will soon be 21 and I learned a lot from him. Such as 1. it is possible to fly down a whole flight of stairs when the mini-trampoline is positioned just right at the top of the stair case.
2. carving his name in my beautiful wooden staircase was his expression of art.
3. his shoes somehow found their way to the roof of our 2 story house (I couldn't even have thrown them that far
4. a large trampoline pushed up next to the house can give a really high bounce to him and his little sis when jumping from the roof
5. boiled crawdads found in the near by creek was great cusinine he made one night for him and little sis when she was a teen (really good with melted butter from what I've been told)
6. no need to wash the dishes, just sit them on the back fence and shoot them with his BB gun
7. when him and his buddies went cow-tipping (for real) the last one to jump over the fence got a mad cow head in their butt
8. frog-gigging and spear fishing are great activities for boys, so what if one ends in the ER with a spike in their foot
9. I now know how the popper thing works in the middle of the trouble game, since ours was taken apart by DS
10. The center leaf of my cherry wood kitchen table works great as a snow sled
11. When sneaking dad's beer, it's always best to refill bottle with water and replace lid and put it back in the carton
12. the riding lawn mower works great to pull little sis behind on skates down our paved road
13.17 yr. old boys should never be left alone while parents are camping even if they beg and promise to not have a party
14. When said party happens, little sis will find out the next day at school and tattle, along with the neighboring parents whose kids were at the party
15. If for someone reason you are gone and come home and the house is clean and trash taken out, THERE WAS DEFINITELY A PARTY
16. Beer given to a dog will definitely cause it diarrhea
17. Boys never grow up, they just learn more advanced stupid things to do
18. It is possible to belch or fart the whole tune of Yankee Doodle Dandee, I have personally witnessed it.
19. Little sis can always be paid to not tell on her brother, NO matter what
20. The expression from DS of "I need to drop a few friends off at the pool has nothing to do with swimming".
i remember a commercial a while ago .. i think it was for plastic recycling ...anyways it showed a boy , well, being a boy ..and the mother going .. he will never live to be 4 .. then is 4 ..then will never live to be 10 .. and so on and so on.. i always wondered who bugged my house! .. i have 3 boys and have learned many lessons from them as well ..
1.) the door can be kicked in with just enough force and the explanation will be .. i didn't think i could do it
2.) neighbor kids will be ok if shoved thru a window if you cover them with the bedroom comforter first and accidently push em in that direction
3.) coffee tables can not handle a 40 lb kid being body slammed on it
4.) your foot can go thru the ceiling when on top of bunk beds - again the excuse is .. i didn't think it could
5.) snakes are amusing to them when brought home to scare the *&^% outta me
6.) boys digestive systems can turn anything into amusing noises for them
7.) the combination sport of trampoline basketball can send many a kid to the ER .. repeatedly
8.) WWE wrestling IS TOO A SPORT! *rolls eyes*
9.) spray paint and boredom do not bode well
10.) EVERYTHING is a race
omgosh..i have one boy and one girl, and finally get why my son does so many crazy things!! He can't help it!!! hes a boy!!!!
Like throwing a baseball at the ceiling fan..he friggin did that. Then hes says "it was an accident"..??? wa???
throw nickelodeon slime on the ceiling..omg..that crap sticks. i finally got it off, and five minutes later he did it again!!! grrrrrrrrrr
If he has a marker...i'm totally aware, because he will, without even thinking about it, mark on SOMETHING. like..a nice little mustache on this upper lip, or..on his sister.
and..what is up with the vulgar armpit noises??? something his father is very proud of...
he has already broken his arm, his leg, and was hit by a car (hospitalized for three days with conconcussion, but was fine). And he's only 8!!!
I'm always afraid someone will call social services on me...sheesh..but, i swear...my daughter has never even been in the E.R. Soo...i dunno...
sigh..and, from the sound of it, i have many years of excitement..
he he
This is a good one. I have 6 sons and the page isn't long enough. They were always trying to prove who was the toughest. Jumping from the 2nd story to a trampoline.... that was one here, too. The best thing is when you here all the stories years later. Then you can take it.
C, you do have lots of years of fun left. What they can come up with will never cease to amaze me. My son is in the Army now, and you guessed it. Demolitions Expert. LOL
I am a worrier at times. Luckily my son has been enlisted 2 yrs. so far and hasn't had to go to Iraq. He is at Camp Cook, Louisiana right now. I know that he is likely to be in Iraq at some time during his 6 yr. enlistment. Yes, this terrifies me.
Did you know that they'll eat anything if you pay them? It was well worth my money to listen to big brother puking up that fake doggie bacon. Sometimes a dare will work too...or the sad face while saying "But...I made this just for YOU in my easy bake oven!" By the way, parents...never get your daughter an easy bake oven. I don't know if they still make them, but if they do, it's not a good idea.
The brothers and my dad used to think it was funny to take my stuffed cat (I was 6!) and put him on the ceiling fan, then turn it on and watch it fly.
Got sons?
