Weight Loss Support - It's always something.....




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doIlookfat?
07-05-2006, 05:42 PM
I was so ready to try and lose weight, again. Again, life gets in the way.

My mom called and told me my grandma is not doing well. (she's 88 and still lives by herself) We all think she has been having mini strokes, getting weaker, and this last stroke has caused her to get very weak. My mom say's "the spark has gone out of her". My mom and aunt go to her house constantly to help her/check up on her.

To add to this, my mom and dad are going on a 4 day cruise next week, care of me and my siblings, for their 40th anniversary. My mom feels guilty that she is leaving. She's afraid something will happen to her while she is away. She can kick herself now for not paying for cruise insurance, but there's nothing they can do about that now. They will go on the cruise, but I know mom will have a miserable time, now, worrying about her mom. So now I feel guilty for sending her on this trip! She says not to feel guilty, she's the one who feels guilty for going! It's just a huge mess.

Again, I will put this "dieting" on the backburner. I'm gaining more and more weight as the days go on. I hate it! Life is always throwing me a curve ball. All I can do is worry about my family and forget my personal problems. People say I'm being selfish for not controlling my eating, but it feels so much more the opposite right now.

Thanks for listening to my problems.

Heidi
179/175/135


sotypical
07-05-2006, 05:47 PM
Heidi - I am sorry to hear about your grandmother but IMO that is no reason to put your weigh loss on hold and stop dieting. It sounds like your putting your dieting on the backburner will just make you feel worse.

My grandmother spent the last 6 months in the hospital. We were told she was getting better and she died a couple days later. It was hard, she was 81. She passed away on June 12. My dad came and told me that evening, I took the next day off from work and didnt worry about anything. I just ate and didn't worry but then next day I was right back at it. I loved my grandmother with all my heart but just because she passed away didn't mean that I should throw myself off plan.

There will always be curve balls in your life, they are never going to go away. If you learn to live with them now it will be easier to maintain when you get to your goal weight.

Good luck and I hope your grandmother gets better.

fitbyforty
07-05-2006, 06:30 PM
Well said.


Heather
07-05-2006, 07:04 PM
Heidi -- :hug: I'm sorry you're going through a tough time, but I agree with Courtnie. If anything, use this as a reason to get things UNDER control.

Last year, two weeks after my grandfather's death, I learned my parents were divorcing after 40 years of marriage. I was sick about it, cried about it and am still feeling the repercussions. I went ahead and started to try to lose weight and get healthier about a month after that.

Whenever the stress of the divorce (or anything else) would overwhelm me and make me want to eat, I'd have to tell myself that the food wasn't in control any more. I was.

And I have to tell you, having the strength to do THAT also allowed me to be more there for my family. And I was more able to cope after I started taking care of me. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's critical!

Today, a lot of emotions hit me again and I have been resisting a binge for several horus now as I wallow in depression about my family. But I am not going to give into it. I know I'm stronger than that.

Courtnie is right -- life is going to constantly throw these curves. We need to learn to take care of ourselves in the bad and the good times. Otherwise, we will remain overweight.

Good luck -- I know these situations are really tough!

buckettgirl
07-06-2006, 11:36 AM
I have to agree with the others. This IS life. Stop wasting your time and live your life NOW.
You need to make a commitment to yourself to completely change your lifestyle.... if this is just another "diet," then odds are against you for any success (no matter what is going on in your life). There is absolutely no reason that you cannot make time to exercise (even if it is only 10minutes at a time) - especially since that can help reduce stress. There is no reason that you need to eat junk or high cal foods or large meals or whatever - it is a matter of knowing about the food you are eating and what you need for your body.
As far as your emotions about your grandma and your mom.... You can only control you. If your mom feels guilty for leaving, that is her issue, not yours. It is very sad about your grandma, and you should allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come along with knowing that a loved one is not doing well - DON'T STUFF IT DOWN WITH FOOD. Don't numb yourself to it. You need to experience whatever feelings are going to come along with this - it will be a learning experience for you, but not an excuse to be unhealthy.
I hope your mom is able to enjoy her trip, and I hope that your grandma does better and if not, I hope that she does not have to suffer.
Just hang in there, and don't forget that you have support here. :hug:

blues4miles
07-06-2006, 02:52 PM
I can't add much to what the wonderful posters have said already, but I will say this:

It will always be something. When it is not your grandmother, it will be someone else who is sick or your finances or job will be in jeopardy, or something else. Now, YOU KNOW that eating whatever you want to eat (whatever your weakness is, be it fast food, or sweet, or salty foods) NEVER gives you the satisfaction you want it to. We think in our heads, I will eat x for comfort, or to make me feel better for now. But does it ever? It usually doesn't even make us feel better while we are eating it! The best thing you can do now is change your whole perception about food. Time with your family, and time getting your life in order and being there for everyone (and yourself) emotionally is the best thing you can do. Eating healthy will nourish your body and make you feel like you can make it through these long days. Exercising will even your moods, and help you to get better sleep even when you are too stressed/depressed to sleep. Hang in there, you can do it and being healthier will HELP.

QuilterInVA
07-06-2006, 02:59 PM
Does eating make your grandmother well, does it make your mother feel less guilty, or are you subconsciously looking for excuses to put weight loss on hold?
My husband has been very ill for the last year, is now bedridden. I am his sole care giver and have a full time job. Do you think that is an excuse to gain weight? If anything, it has made me more determined to eat properly and exercise so I can be strong and care for him.

Life happens. Our reaction to the happenings is controlled by us.