Today has been the first day where I haven't done as well on my eating, but it also made me realize for the first time ever that stress is an eating trigger for me. My oldest friend from high school (She's 38) is in a 10-12 hour surgery today in Baltimore for mouth cancer. She had one growth removed from her tongue in October and the cancer has already come back. So today they are removing most of the right side of her tongue and then doing some reconstruction with some skin from her arm. There are also apparently some lymph nodes that are in question. I've been really supportive and reassuring with her but today, knowing she is in surgery and here I am, an hour and a half away has been really hard.
I had a craving for something hot for breakfast this morning (and I hate oatmeal) so I had heard that egg mcmuffins weren't too bad, so I stopped at the fast food **** of the galaxy and got one as well as an unsweetened iced tea. When I got to work, I discovered that they had also put a freaking hashbrown in my bag! On a better day, I'd of just chucked it in the trash, but not today. I ate it. Then followed it up about an hour later with a pack of peanut m&m's. That was when I realized exactly what I was doing.
I always thought I ate out of boredom, but I think it is more out of stress and maybe that feeling of helplessness, when you can't do anything to help someone. I kept it all under control in the weeks leading up to my friend's surgery, but once she was in surgery and there was nothing more I could do, other than wait, the stress of it really hit me.
I have managed to turn my day around and had a ww lunch and then went to Curves to workout. I guess what I ate really wasn't all that bad, and I know people fall off the wagon much worse (and so have I in the past), but it was interesting to learn something about myself and my eating habits.
Hi Kimberly,
I hope all goes well with your friend's surgery. I'm sure it will be a long day for you as you wait to hear that it is over.
It's good that you recognized what was causing you to have a bad food day, and like you said, one meal and a snack isn't all that bad. You're already back on the wagon.
I think for me what has made this attempt different from previous attempts has been the fact that this has been as much a voyage of self-discovery as it has been a lifestyle shift. Good for you for being able to step back and do some self-analysis during these stressful event(s).
Best wishes and speedy recovery to your buddy! She's so fortunate to have a caring friend like you!
Kimberly, you sweetheart, I encourage you to think of this: None of us got big because we were perfect or never erred. What makes you think that just because you made up your mind that you were going to lose weight you were overnight transformed into this perfect creature, incapable of eating something unhealthy for reasons other than hunger? Kimberly, you proved to yourself today that you can misstep and then get right back on track without missing a beat. It's not reasonable for you to expect that you'll never slip up, but it is reasonable for you to expect of yourself an ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on truckin'. All of us in this group have had, or have now, a long road to get to a healthy weight. It's got to be about the big picture, -- staying power, baby ---- and today you showed BEAUTIFUL staying power!!
The surgery took 14 hours but as of last update, she came through it fine and was being moved to ICU. I'm hoping to hear more later today. I'm assuming they have to wait for biopsy results to see if they got everything and what the lymph nodes showed.
I'm back on plan today 100%! Gotta take off to get the youngest son to the dentist!
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I love this board!
Glad to hear your friend make it through her surgery ok and hope more good news is on it's way to you! I think you did awesome. You picked yourself up after a little 'bump' in the road and kept going. There are many others (myself) included that the little bump would turn into a huge speed bump. Don't beat yourself and move on. Both you and your friend deserve a wonderful healthy life together.
Kimberly, you sweetheart, I encourage you to think of this: None of us got big because we were perfect or never erred. What makes you think that just because you made up your mind that you were going to lose weight you were overnight transformed into this perfect creature, incapable of eating something unhealthy for reasons other than hunger? Kimberly, you proved to yourself today that you can misstep and then get right back on track without missing a beat. It's not reasonable for you to expect that you'll never slip up, but it is reasonable for you to expect of yourself an ability to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and keep on truckin'. All of us in this group have had, or have now, a long road to get to a healthy weight. It's got to be about the big picture, -- staying power, baby ---- and today you showed BEAUTIFUL staying power!!
Stress and a bad food day
