LA Weight Loss - Embarrassing Moments




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Repo girl
05-02-2006, 01:15 PM
Okay, you all, I need a good laugh today. I would love to hear some of your most embarrassing moments!


stiesta
05-02-2006, 01:37 PM
Here's one for you...

When we first moved to Boston, our moving truck was a week late. My boys were age 2 1/2 and 1. My husband was working and I decided to take the opportunity to go do some sightseeing. I had always wanted to see Salem, Mass., and in particular the Nathanial Hawthorne House of Seven Gables. So I take my tiny little toddlers (serious brain function missing to do this) and went to take a tour of the house. Literally, as we were walking in the first room to take the tour, I realized that my 1-year-old had a dirty diaper. It's a 25 minute tour and once you leave your tour, you can't go back. So I was embarrased, but figured what else could I do?

So we're standing in the foyer of the 400-year-old house, it smells to high heaven like poo, and I'm listening to the tour guide talk about how everything is authentic, it's been preserved, it's a historical landmark, blah, blah, blah. At that VERY MOMENT, I look down at my 2 year old and see him with the curtains over his head. I decide this would be a good time to pick him up (so as to not damage the 400 year old landmark). And as I pick him up, he pulls on the curtains, and BREAKS the rod off of the wall. I end up with the cutain on my head and his...the tour guide starts screaming for everyone to stand still and not touch anything. He runs to get the manager...they spend about 15 minutes studying the damage and decide not to make us pay for it. All the while, everyone on our tour is standing there, smelling the poopy diaper, staring at me with death in their eyes! It was so embarrassing! Once they decided to not make us pay, I grabbed my kids and got the he** out of there!

As a follow-up to this awful story, a few years later my husband's company had a dinner in Salem, followed by a private tour of the house. Fresh that he is, my husband pipes up and asks if everything in the foyer is authentic...to which the tour guide replied, "Everything but the windows..." as they now had blinds on them instead of curtains.

Anyway, I have a hard time going through Salem now without having post-traumatic stress syndrome...truly the worst moment for me EVER.

:D

bizlawchik
05-02-2006, 01:39 PM
That was great! Thanks for the laugh.


aggie2006
05-02-2006, 01:45 PM
first day of medical school

my mom flew out with me to get me settled in...we planned that it would take us about a half an hour to get to class, later once we got used to the city it was a 20 min walk...not knowing where we were it ended up taking us almost an hour...making me a good 20minutes late to orientation...we get to the street and enter the building come to find out its the next building over...im screaming like a lunatic and stressed as ****, plus sweating like crazy from running around...my poor mom, the strong woman that she is is coaching me through it and cheering me on, lets just say i appologize to this day for mistreating her...anywho., we finally get inside the right building..its huge, we have no idea where this classroom is, i hang a right, my mom hangs a left...the first door she opens she asks "is this orientation for the 1st year american program for medical student" i guess someone answered yes, on the top of her lungs she screams "AGGIEEEEE, ITS HERE!!!!!!" i turned several shades of red...ran up to her and walked in on the DEAN giving her welcome speach...ofcourse all the good seats in the back of the class were filled up and i had to cross the class room in the front of everyone and the dean to a front row seat...everyone remembers me as the girl whos mom walked her to school on the first day of class! and the dean was not happy being interupted! hope it helps...

aggie2006
05-02-2006, 01:49 PM
stiesta~ me and a couple of my girlfriends decided to study for our USMLE's in boston univ. over the summer 2007, when we go to salem i will remember to check out those blinds! hehe...good story...

Dairy Fairy
05-02-2006, 02:25 PM
Ok, this happened a long time ago when I was 7, and while I am no longer embarrassed by it, it kinda shows my true mischievous nature:

I was spending the night at my friend Kamiren's house for her 7th b-day party. Several girls were invited, but Kamiren was the one I really knew and liked. The rest were from a previous year in school for her. Anyway, this one girl (Kalisha) was always so prissy and primpy. Seriously, when we went on our2nd grade overnight field trip she stripped in front of the mirror and was preening like a playboy bunny. Anyway, I had a bedwetting issue but and was mortified to wake up in the middle of the night to find myself soaked on the long cot Kamirens' mom and dad had made for us. What did I do? I rolled Kalisha ton top of the pee stain and went to sleep in Kalisha's spot. When morning came, the first thing I did (before anybody noticed anything had happened) was yell "look...kalisha wet the bed." I'm a mean one, no?

I'm sure I've got a million worse, but this kinda always comes to mind.

Repo girl
05-02-2006, 02:29 PM
Ohhh Christie- I would have DIED too!

Aggie- Too funny. You must have been moritified.

Aggies college story reminded me of one of my own college incidents. Kristi and I had a health class together. I was a freshman, she was a sophmore. One day as class was beginning to wind down, I started to gather up my stuff, so I could race across campus to my next class. I dropped my pen on the floor in front of me, and with my huge bag that held my books and my clarinet slung over my shoulder, I leaned over the front of my desk to pick it up. Well the heavy bag flipped over my head and pulled in slow motion over the desk and I did a sort of a head stand on the floor, before the desk tipped sideways, landed with a loud crash, and I went sprawling. I thought I was going to die of humiliation. All of these people run over to help me up. Kristi is laughing so hard she is about to go into cardiac arrest. NOT one of my shining moments.

Repo girl
05-02-2006, 02:30 PM
Oh Dairy, you are SO naughty!

aggie2006
05-02-2006, 02:44 PM
i got one from elementary school~ were in 3rd grade...we used to sit in a table of six, with all of us facing eachother...the girl next to me was an asian girl who wore a necklace that looked like a lime lifesaver, and had a haircut like her mom put a bowl on her head and cut around...one day in class she told me and the kid on the otherside of her that she had money, lots of it! kids that we wore, i said, no way, i dont believe you...she said yes i do, i prove it to u, i bring it to class...(in her broken english)...so she did...it was a wad, or what seemed like a wad...and i said can i have some (im 9, remember!) so she gave me and the kid some money...it was friday...i ran home to show my big sister who then took me to the nearest Walmart and we bought candy and gifts, it was right around christmas time! i remember us getting these candies that came in a glass contained, they were balls of different colors...i dont think it was much over 20 something dollars that we spend that day now that i look back, but 15 yrs ago i was in heaven...monday morning the principle calls our names out and lines us up infront of the class room against the wall...i was so scared i wanted to die...all my fears ran past me, my mom, she'd woop my butt! i confessed to what i had done, the principle told us if we brought the money back, they wouldnt tell our parents..and the next day i returned some measly dollars to her, whatever was left..and i guess she was too scared or too lost to realize that it wasnt nearly half of what she gave me...woosh, i got away...i also stabbed a kid with a pencil in 2nd grade and begged him not to tell, i hope he didnt get lead poisoning b/c i stabbed him deep enough where the skin had a grey dot all year...god what was i thinking!

Repo girl
05-02-2006, 02:52 PM
Oh, Aggie! The stuff we did as kids.

I am one of those people who laugh inappropriately all the time. I just can't help it, and I am forever getting myself into trouble. Have you seen the "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Deborah tells Ray that her parents are getting a divorce and he can't stop laughing? He does not think it is funny, but something about the way she tells him sets him off, and he laughs like a fool until she is seriously pissed off. Well, that is ME! I do stuff like that. Once when I was a kid we were walking out of my dad's barber shop in the winter. My grandma fell onto her knees on the ice. Funny? No. Funny to me? I laughed until my mom hit me she was so mad. Gotta go make lunch, but I will share a few more when I get back.

aggie2006
05-02-2006, 03:05 PM
i am the queen of inappropriate laughter...ppl falling, tripping, farting, peeing there pants...ok, last one...7th grade, me and my best friend are in the park at lunch time...they actually let us out of the building during lunch in 7th and 8th grade...so we were in the park, and on many occasions she had peed a little in her pants, so that day i said something hilarious, and she was laughing so hard and was begging me to stop cause she couldnt hold it...but i was evil! so i kept going til she peed her pants all the way!!!!! i felt bad and let her have my sweatshirt to wrap around her waste til the end of the day...hehe...dont worry what goes around comes around...me and sis went out to a local bar to play some pool, we met some guys that were really nice..by the end of the night we were really drunk and they wanted to walk us home...we live by the beach, the idiot i am i suggest we all go down to the beach (hello, we could have gotten rapped!) anywho, my sister started to make me laugh, and i tinkled a little, i was begging her stop stop stop, im gonna pee, i was screaming! she kept going, i tried my best but peed all down my legs! thank the lord i was wearing black pants...i told the guys that it was getting late and we should call it a night, and started to walk back (never got to the beach), the guys were like, what, did u pee your pants...hehehehehe...well actually...hehehehe...the guy later said he loved feet, and thought mine were so cute, (it was sandle season) and leaned down to touch them...i freaked out that he would feel my moist peed on foot! lets say we walked home really quickly...

hkychik
05-02-2006, 03:05 PM
You guys are hysterical. Me? I have no embarassing moments - I am a perfect model of decorum........ NOT!

I have been a self-proclaimed geek my whole life and am constantly embarrased by something I have done!

9th grade - at a High School basketball game with my friends - cheerleaders doing a cheer where they call out each class - "Freshman, Freshman, you here?" and those in that class are to stand up and respond "Freshman, Freshman, we're here!", trying to be louder than the other classes. So, the rah-rah's start the cheer, I stand up and yell, at the top of my lungs : Freshman, Freshman..... i'm here??????" I was the only one who stood up and yelled.

Always calling important people by the wrong name...... oh, I could go on!
I think falling down, body noises, walking into things, are hysterical. I do enjoy a good laugh at others expense, but I also laugh a lot at my own expense, too!
Feel better?

aggie2006
05-02-2006, 03:08 PM
lori~ hehehe...i can see you there in the audience, you poor baby! hey atleast you represented your class!
i too laugh more at myself then anything else...i sit and laugh in my own head all the time, ppl must think im crazy

PURPLEPIRATE99
05-02-2006, 03:25 PM
You girls are too funny - I'm with you other girls on the laughing at the expense of others - I think I inherited that from my Mom. I remember a story my Dad loves to tell. He was fixing something on the roof of our A-Frame house and all of a sudden he slips, the ladder falls and my Dad is barely hanging on by the edge of the gutters - my mom is in the backyard, laughing so hard she is crying - I so much the same way and my DH hates it sometimes - the best part is - I think Savannah got it too!!! hehehehehe

Those other stories are too funny

Katie - I can see myself pulling the backpack over the head episode !!!

Repo girl
05-02-2006, 03:34 PM
Oh Aggie, are sure you weren't one of my BF's during school? You sound so much like me!

Lori- All too familiar, baby. All too familiar.

Once in high school I went with my friends to a church service in honor of a kid we knew who was leaving on a mission. Of course we were really late, so we ended up on the front pew. His dad had this huge thick red mustache and rosy cheeks. When it was the dads turn to speak, he got really emotional and kind of crying when he talked, making his voice sound really weird. My friend leans over and whispers, "Isn't he a character off of Sesame Street?" I nearly exploded. He totally was. The face, the muppet voice, I was silent laughing so hard I was in pain. There we were, lined up shoulder to shoulder on the front pew, all of us shaking, tears rolling down our faces. We were so embarrassed that we didn't even attend the dinner afterwards, we just got the heck out of there!

Chklithunder
05-02-2006, 03:47 PM
Here's mine...

My BFF and I were out at the dancehall club we used to go to every Fri and Sat night unless one of us had a date. We would always stand right in front of the big booming speakers so the bass would go right through us, and we'd YELL our conversations to each other the entire night. Well, there we were, sipping our drinks and grooving to the music, and gossiping about all the news, etc... When we were talking about one of our friends who had a pregnancy scare. So of course BFF didn't hear what I had said, so I had to yell to her "I said Michelle has to take another PREGNANCY TEST!!!" Well of course, the music had completely stopped after the word "another," so I'm standing there like an idiot screaming PREGNANCY TEST in the club, so the DJ goes, HEY HEY DERE CARMEN GAL WE DO HOPE IT COME OWT NEGATIVE, YA HEEEAR? And everyone laughed and laughed... HOW HUMILIATING!!!

Repo girl
05-02-2006, 03:56 PM
Carmen- That is priceless. I'll bet you could have died on the spot!!!

Once in church the young women were supposed to be singing for the congregation. We were supposed to practice for weeks, as it was supposed to be very special. Well the Bishops wife was in charge of directing the music. She was an old lady, retired school teacher, and very prudish, her name was Jean. Me and my friends Emily and Nikkie got to laughing one night at rehearsal. We were hiding our faces behind out song books and laughing our heads off. Mean Jean stopped the music and told us if we did not stop it right now she was going to make us sing a solo in front of the group. This only made us laugh harder, until she made us stand up in front of the group. We were laughing so hard by this time, there was no possible way we could sing. We pretty much stood there and laughed while the piano pounded out the music. Mean Jean was livid. We ended up in the bathroom trying to get control of ourselves.

Dairy Fairy
05-02-2006, 03:58 PM
I was driving back to college after a weekend home and had the windows rolled down in my 83 Buick Regal b/c I was trying to keep myself awake. Anyway, I had the radio blasting as well, b/c for some reason I was so drowsy. Anyway, I get to the town my college is in and pull over on the side of the road for a funeral. I start getting looks from people in the cars. That's when I realized my blasting radio was playing "I just died in your arms tonight." Oh my gosh...it was awful. Can you imagine?

stiesta
05-02-2006, 04:45 PM
Carmen, Katie, Dairy, and Agge....too funny! It's nice to hear that other people are routinely humiliated in public -- I sure am! :dizzy:

rad7775
05-02-2006, 09:49 PM
Ok, let me explain this first so you can understand my embarrasing moment. In P.R. when you give birth you share the room with another girl, is not private like when I give birth my DD in Tampa, so when I give birth my DS in P.R. I share a room with this girl that she was allways complaining about that she can't pass a gas(fart), she have a c-section like me, so one day my aunt and my cousin came to visit me, and the baby(DS) was in my room so my aunt take charge of my DS so I can eat my lunch and my cousin sit down in the bed with me, my aunt started tapping my DS back, you know to help the baby burp, and I hear this big farting sound and I said with my big mouth "WOW that was my baby" and the girl that was sharing the room with me said :"NO that was me" OMG.. That was embarrasing... but I couldn't stop laughing b/c my cousin said: Girl if your DS were the one that trhow that fart for sure his a** would have break appart".. I just couldn't stop laughing even though I felt bad and embarassed, and my c- section hurts like **** but it was soooo funny!! :lol:

stiesta
05-02-2006, 09:51 PM
LOL, how embarrassing for her!!!

rad7775
05-02-2006, 10:34 PM
Christie:
Girl, trust me if she was embarrased I felt worst, b/c after my family was gone I stayed alone with her, so I was just wishing that the earth could open and swallow me! :o

Dairy Fairy
05-02-2006, 10:55 PM
milca, i am laughing so hard i am crying!

Repo girl
05-03-2006, 02:37 AM
Milca- That is so dang funny. I can just picture the whole scene.

I think that the most embarrassing moment ever may have actually occurred today. Not to me, for once. My little sis works in Physical Therapy at our local hospital. She does a lot of the inpatient work, and this morning she was sent down to work on a stroke vic. The lady had a stroke several days ago, and has been in a coma since. They work her legs and arms every day to keep her from getting stiff. So Kara notices as she walks into the room that there is a lot of family in the hall. There was a daughter standing next to the the bed. Kara says to her, "Hi, I'm Kara from Physical Therapy, and I came down to work your mom's arms and legs to make sure she does not get stiff." The lady says fine, she will wait in the hall. Kara thinks that the sick lady looks pretty bad, but stroke vics always do. She starts with one arm, and as she is finishing it, the nurse comes in and asks Kara if she can do her work at the same time. Kara says sure and starts working on one of the legs. The nurse says "It is really nice of you to come down and work on her, you know." Kara asks why, since it is her job, after all, and the nurse replies "Well, I did not know that the Physical Therapy Dept. would work on patients post mortem." Kara yells "What?!!!" Turns out the lady had passed away about 30 minutes earlier, and the PT dept. had not gotten the call yet. Poor Kara was just mortified. Oh, yes, she was keeping her from getting stiff, alright.

rebeleagle1965
05-03-2006, 03:38 AM
Never posted here before, but loved this thread and laughed my butt off....Here's one of mine-
My ex husband and I were in a Blockbuster video when my daughter had just started walking well, and he was holding her hand as we searched for a movie. Let's just say I knew him to be crude in public, and I kept catching a whiff of something awful every time I walked close to him. I kept telling him in a hushed voice to cut it out, that he was embarassing me, and he would deny doing anything. Of course, he always denied doing anything when he let one rip, so I would smell it again, and we went round for about 15 minutes before we were both so annoyed we just grabbed a movie to check out. On the way out the door, YET AGAIN. He got so mad at me for nagging him that he stopped right at the door and said "I bet it's her anyway!" and picked her up to check her diaper there in front of everyone. He shifted her to her side to have a peek, and diarreah green gush dripped all down his arm, onto his shoes, and all over Blockbusters carpet. What's worse is that he was so embarassed he just turned red and hurried out the door, leaving me standing there not knowing what to do. I apologized to the open mouthed cluster of people whose attention we had drawn, and followed his suit. There are probably still tire marks in that parking lot where we burned rubber on the way out!

aggie2006
05-03-2006, 05:26 AM
repo~ how come when a story starts with "once it church" its always funny...hehe...
omg, thats terifying about the stiff lady...your poor sister must have been mortified!

DF~ LMAO...could the radio play anything more inappropriate...hehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehe

here's the hall of fame one for me...one i blocked for years...truely more embarassing than funny for me, well at the time...i was in the 4th grade choir....i thought my voice was by far the best out there! when a solo for a popular song in those times came up, i auditioned my little heart out...and 5 of us got solos...weeks of preperation, it was time to sing for the upper classes...the 7th and 8th graders...i was the 3 rd up....when it was my turn, the choir teacher also on the piano did the intro notes to my solo...something like...tun tun ta nana tun tun...silence...again...tun tun ta nana tun tun...silence...again (this time whispering to me, go, you can do it)...tun tun ta nana tun tun....a frogs croack came out!!! a high pitched one at that...followed by some slurred words and silence...hehehehhe, im laughing just telling it...the crowd roared in laughter....the teachers tried to calm the kids down, but they were unstopable...the choir teacher continued on...when we finished with our solos we were to cross down the middle of the auditorium (you know like communion style during church) as i turned the corner (we were on the left side of the stage) i ripped my dark black pantyhose and made a huge, pink skinned whole on my thigh...so as i crossed all the classes and students there was clapping for the choir mixed in with laughter and pointing, not only at me but also at my whole in my pantyhose!! as much as i laugh, i still have problems public speaking, and you will hear a gittery voice up on stage everytime...oh well, im getting better, the more i go out there the more i realize "YOUR NOT IN THE 4TH GRADE ANYMORE!"

rad7775
05-03-2006, 09:20 AM
OMG.. Girls, I have laugh so much...

Well, this is one of those embarassing moments with your boss, I used to work in the Caribe Hilton Hotel in P.R., my position was F&B Supervisor (God I miss my job soooo much :cry:) Well, one day, my boss came to my area, actually one of the big daddys of the hotel the Director of Operations, came to me to talk about some project and to check something in my area, since this is an open area, and P.R. is a tropical island there is allways flys, mosquitoes, birds and you know fruit flys, well I was having this serious conversation with my boss and when I open my mouth one of this little flys (the ones that you see only in the fruits very small) just flew to my mouth and I practically swallowed it (I know is gross) I just put my arms around my neck and started gaggling like trying to spit it out but I can't and my boss told me "are you ok," and I look at him like "don't you see me", he told me "let's talk about this later" and left. I felt sooo embarassed!

hkychik
05-03-2006, 02:24 PM
You ladies are cracking me up!

Here's another:

Thanksgiving, 1987. I am 21 and visiting my Aunt in Tuscon AZ. That summer was a VERY busy forest fire season, and I had just finished up. Sports bras were available, but really hard to find. I was in the bedroom changing and my mom walked in. She saw how black and dirty my bra was (you just can't get 50 days of ash and smoke out of a cotton bra) and decided that we were going bra shopping. So, off to the Galleria with my Aunt we go.... Mom and my Aunt are like a bunch of giggley teenagers whenever they together. We end up in this really swanky dept store, looking for sports bras. I had wandered off by myself, when I heard my mom and Aunt burst out laughing. Loudly. I debated just leaving them, then curiosity got the better of me. Apparently, they had come across this gal, who looked a lot like me.... from the back. She was looking at this strapless, backless, fancy schmancy bra, and my mom, being the queen of tact, says "My God, what do you want one of THOSE for?" This little gal turned around and stammered some response, then rushed out of the store. Of course, this was hysterical - and to this day, when any of us look at something out of character, the response is "Well, my God, what do you want one of THOSE for?????"

Cafe Ole
05-03-2006, 02:54 PM
Ok -- how is last night for ya? I had to go to the Parent Only Meeting at my daughter's school -- I am going to be a 4th grade chaperone for the Mackinaw Trip (lord help me now).

Anyhow.... I was just chatting away with all the moms I know & having a great time when the Principal (whom I just love, she is wonderful) tapped my arm and said, "Ok Robin, go ahead you can start". Ummm start what? :o So like the dork I am I said, "I am sorry, apparently I was talking and not paying attention or listening for my instructions & NO my daughter doesn't get that from me! :D

Well I thought that was funny - most of the other parents did too (oh the look her teacher gave me hehehehehe) Then I behaved and introduced myself like a good girl.

dolphn545
05-03-2006, 05:18 PM
Back in my skinnier days, I used to work in a bar. Well New Years Eve was always the busiest night. It wasn't my night to work, but I thought I would go and ring in the new year with my customers. By the time I got there, and added a few more, to say that I was blitzed is an understatement. As it came closer to midnight, the owner of the bar asked if I would help pass out champaigne. No problem. The champagne was poured into those cheap plastic champagne glasses, and lined up on a tray for me.
I took the tray to lift it over my head to get through the crowd, and the champaigne poured all down the front of me! :0 I was soaked, my hair, clothes, everything!
I wasn't allowed to participate in passing champaigne after that...

dolphn545
05-03-2006, 05:20 PM
Same Bar, different night. I was coming into the door, getting ready to start work. AS I was walking in, one of the regulars was there, with a group of friends. They all surrounded me. He got down on his knees and they all started singing "You've Lost that Loving Feeling"

rad7775
05-03-2006, 05:26 PM
OOHH Sherry that's so sweet!!

green0923
05-03-2006, 06:29 PM
Well, I'm an accident waiting to happen ... i'll share a couple...

* Walking out of Lonestar Restaurant with DH (then, DBF). It's one of those restaurants where people throw their peanut shells on the floor. Well, I slipped on a peanut shell and went down on my stomach, sliding across the floor like I was sliding into home! I slid right down the middle, between all of these rows of booths. Everyone was laughing so hard, and I was so embarrassed! I just jumped up and RAN out! DH still makes fun of me about that!

* DH was out of town, and had been for a week. I was presenting in a meeting. We were doing some process maps, and putting stickie notes up along the wall, mapping out some stuff. Well, I am in a room full of people and MEAN to say, "Oh, there's no stickie there, it goes here." But instead I said, "Oh, there's no dickie there, it goes here." And the room starts roaring! Then one of my friends yells, "Well, her hubbie HAS been gone for a week!" and everyone just roared and roared!

Repo girl
05-03-2006, 06:34 PM
Oh, you guys, I am in stitches reading this!

ksdiogi
05-03-2006, 10:46 PM
I love it. You guys have me cracking up.

Okay, even though I'm overweight, I have a small rib cage and I'm very large breasted. Bras are not fun. On a lucky day, I could find a 42 DDD and SQUEEZE myself into it. And you know in Psalms where my cup runneth over? Well, both my cups runnethed over. Anyway, I hear an ad for a specialty bra shop that will size you perfectly. They will not up the chest size to accomodate the bigger breast, blah blah blah. At that time, I needed a 41L (for long?) Since they didn't carry anything like that, they wanted to build a custom bra. However, they couldn't make that big of a cup size so they suggested a 44I and brought in a prototype. Now this thing is about 1 1/2 inches away from my rib cage in the front. And my boobs are not light so gravity has taken it's toll. The sales girl has to help me put it on. I have to shimmy and shake and I'll just say that last year's one piece covered less flesh than this bra. The sales girl asks "how does it feel?" I shook twice and my boobs flopped out under the band. I said "Like torture!" And she was going to make me a steal of deal. For only $72 I could have one of those things.

Needless to say, I stuck with my overflowing cups. I'm now happy to report that I'm just barely overflowing a 40DD. I really need a 39DDD WITHOUT push up air pockets and with a little more cup cover. Why can't they make a big bra for a big girl with a small ribcage?

Oh, and one more bra story. Back when I was 38DD (but still overweight) and my BFF was a 42AA, we decided to go shopping for Christmas Party dresses and bras. We had a coupon for a buy one/get one free at McAlpin's (now Dillards). The one lonely sales girl had to help us. She kept handing me 38AA and BFF 42DD. She was so flustered and finally suggested that both of us go to a specialty place because neither one of us had normal boobs. (She was a perky little 34B probably and in a size 0.)

And one anecdote... I may have shared before... Micki was about 3 years old and came into the bathroom after my shower. I was bending over drying off. She said "Mommy, some day will my chest be as long as yours?" After the shock wore off (and reminding myself "out of the mouths of babes") I said "Honey, I can only hope so!" Now, going on 10, she is quite embarrassed when I re-tell that story.

Oh, and ONE MORE embarrassing moment - When Micki was first born, I took at least one picture of her every day of her life for the first year. (I'm glad I did, now!) So, she was making the cutest expressions in the bathroom floor another time just after I had gotten out of the shower. (No, not a mirror embarrassement!) I get the camera out, stand over her, bend my head and snap the picture. The film comes back - all baby pics now... so I let my DMIL go through the roll first, and then my DB (brothers). Both brothers turn a little red but no one says anything. Later that night, I look at the pictures with DH. All of right breast (including breastfeeding nipple) is exposed, half of left breast, two belly rolls, and two big thighs are there and this tiny little baby in a pumpkin seat below it all. DH has to leave the room from laughing so hard at my post partum tears when I told him everyone had seen the pics and not said a word!!! Thank goodness for the baby fat or they would have seen even more! (The benefit of being overweight!) :-)

JAYAGODDESS
05-03-2006, 10:51 PM
:rofl: wow....that is too funny.....thank you for sharing it with us.....:hug: Here's one for you...

When we first moved to Boston, our moving truck was a week late. My boys were age 2 1/2 and 1. My husband was working and I decided to take the opportunity to go do some sightseeing. I had always wanted to see Salem, Mass., and in particular the Nathanial Hawthorne House of Seven Gables. So I take my tiny little toddlers (serious brain function missing to do this) and went to take a tour of the house. Literally, as we were walking in the first room to take the tour, I realized that my 1-year-old had a dirty diaper. It's a 25 minute tour and once you leave your tour, you can't go back. So I was embarrased, but figured what else could I do?

So we're standing in the foyer of the 400-year-old house, it smells to high heaven like poo, and I'm listening to the tour guide talk about how everything is authentic, it's been preserved, it's a historical landmark, blah, blah, blah. At that VERY MOMENT, I look down at my 2 year old and see him with the curtains over his head. I decide this would be a good time to pick him up (so as to not damage the 400 year old landmark). And as I pick him up, he pulls on the curtains, and BREAKS the rod off of the wall. I end up with the cutain on my head and his...the tour guide starts screaming for everyone to stand still and not touch anything. He runs to get the manager...they spend about 15 minutes studying the damage and decide not to make us pay for it. All the while, everyone on our tour is standing there, smelling the poopy diaper, staring at me with death in their eyes! It was so embarrassing! Once they decided to not make us pay, I grabbed my kids and got the he** out of there!

As a follow-up to this awful story, a few years later my husband's company had a dinner in Salem, followed by a private tour of the house. Fresh that he is, my husband pipes up and asks if everything in the foyer is authentic...to which the tour guide replied, "Everything but the windows..." as they now had blinds on them instead of curtains.

Anyway, I have a hard time going through Salem now without having post-traumatic stress syndrome...truly the worst moment for me EVER.

:D

JAYAGODDESS
05-03-2006, 10:55 PM
:D Hahahaha...that is funny I think I would have changed several shades of red.....and then another layer then so and so on...hahaha..thanks for sharing ....:hug: first day of medical school

my mom flew out with me to get me settled in...we planned that it would take us about a half an hour to get to class, later once we got used to the city it was a 20 min walk...not knowing where we were it ended up taking us almost an hour...making me a good 20minutes late to orientation...we get to the street and enter the building come to find out its the next building over...im screaming like a lunatic and stressed as ****, plus sweating like crazy from running around...my poor mom, the strong woman that she is is coaching me through it and cheering me on, lets just say i appologize to this day for mistreating her...anywho., we finally get inside the right building..its huge, we have no idea where this classroom is, i hang a right, my mom hangs a left...the first door she opens she asks "is this orientation for the 1st year american program for medical student" i guess someone answered yes, on the top of her lungs she screams "AGGIEEEEE, ITS HERE!!!!!!" i turned several shades of red...ran up to her and walked in on the DEAN giving her welcome speach...ofcourse all the good seats in the back of the class were filled up and i had to cross the class room in the front of everyone and the dean to a front row seat...everyone remembers me as the girl whos mom walked her to school on the first day of class! and the dean was not happy being interupted! hope it helps...

JAYAGODDESS
05-03-2006, 11:19 PM
:rofl: ok here is one that I think you guys will get a chuckle out of this one. You know that commercial where the daughter says hey mom you know when you get that no so fresh feeling....well that is not what my daughter said she was in the public bathroom where there were other ladies around and use the same tone as that commercial started out...

She says: "Mom"

I Say: Yes Hun?

She says: How many toilet paper covers do you use when you go to the bathroom...

I was kind of like loss for words because she is carrying on this conversation that sounds so serious....I could hear the other ladies chuckling...

She says: Well I use 3 because some people dont know how to make it in the toilet and dont want to get my bunky wet....the second sheet is just to make sure I gets on the sheet...and third sheet is where I know it is safe...and she giggles...and say plus the toilet seat wont be cold.

Then you hear all these ladies in the bathroom just burst out of laughter....I was laughing so hard because it strikes your funny bone when you little is talking serious....hehe...kids say the darndest things....aint that the truth...

green0923
05-04-2006, 09:38 AM
OMG!!! These are sooooooo funny!!!!!

I just remembered another one ...

DS was about 22 months old, and I was 4-1/2 months pregnant. DH had been out of town, so DS and I were on our way to the airport to pick him up. Well, about half-way to the airport, I get this horrible stomach cramp, and can feel the impending diarrhea. I just keep thinking, "PLEASE!!!! LET ME MAKE IT TO THE AIRPORT!!!"

Well, I FLY to the airport, find the quickest parking spot I can, pull DS out of the carseat, throw the umbrella stroller under my arm (no time to set it up!), and start running.

I find the first available bathroom, and barely make it in. Then, the flood starts! (FYI, I forgot to mention that I am typically incredibly bladder shy, and have real difficulties defacating in public!) So, the noises are horrible, I am embarrassed, and then DS yells, "YAY MOMMY!!!! GOOD JOB MOMMY!!! MOMMY'S GOING POO POO IN THE POTTY!!!!!" (The same thing I have been yelling for him since we are right in the middle of potty training ...)

All of the ladies in the restroom were laughing so hard, and I was so embarrassed! And when I FINALLY made it out of there, there was no denying who it was that had the "issue," because DS reminded all of us, in his VERY loud voice, the entire time we were at the airport! "DADDY! MOMMY WENT POO POO IN THE POTTY!!!!!!" :o

Repo girl
05-04-2006, 01:51 PM
Ohhhh man, Erin, isn't that a kid for you.

My youngest daughters name is Marianna. When she was born, my oldest, Mykah, was almost three, and had a really hard time saying her name. We took them into my dad's barber shop for a hair cut when the baby was tiny. The shop was full of customers, and my dad starts telling everyone, "They are my grandkids. This is the brand new one." One of the other barbers asks Mykah what his new sisters name is, so in his biggest, loudest, big boy voice he proudly announces that the baby's name is "Marajuana!"

green0923
05-04-2006, 02:05 PM
HAHAHAAHHA! I can only imagine what those people thought when they heard your son announce that you had named your daughter after that particular plant :)

Repo girl
05-04-2006, 02:15 PM
I thought that Yoga Gurl was going to post this story, but has not done it yet, so I am going to help her out. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I still laugh everytime I think about it. About 5 years ago or so, we went to a petting zoo at our county fair. They had some exotic animals, and it was very cool. The main attraction was a little kangaroo joey, cutest dang thing you have ever seen. He was about the height of a 3 year old, and was hopping all over the place, loose amongst us. Some kids kept trying pet him, and were chasing him. He was getting upset, and trying to "box" them with his little fists. After the kids left, Kristi went over to try to pet him and calm him down. He must have still been pretty mad, because as she bent down, he grabbed her by the wrist with both hands, jumped into the air, and kicked her full in the stomache with both feet, as hard as he could. He knocked the wind right out of her. I nearly died for laughing. It looked like a cartoon, seeing this little kangaroo do that. Oh, I still tease her about the time she got her beat up by a baby kangaroo.

aggie2006
05-04-2006, 02:34 PM
erin!!! thats hilarious! i can see him in the corner of the stall cheering you on...so funny and hes so cute!

aggie2006
05-04-2006, 02:36 PM
oh repo! do kids really come up with that stuff on their own...

aggie2006
05-04-2006, 02:38 PM
ROFLMAO, poor yoga...i cant write cause im laughing too hard...everybody say confu fighting...

Repo girl
05-05-2006, 01:12 PM
Okay, this is flat disgusting of me, but I to share what happened last night. We took the kids and our bikes to a nature park near our house. There is a great bike trail that wraps around 3 fishing ponds. We love to go there to ride bikes, picnic, feed the ducks, etc. Well, I had bad gas, as we all do on this diet, so I was teasing DH that my bike is gas powered, so I would let a huge fart, followed by a big burst of speed. After I did this about 3 times, I accidentally peed my pants. Not just a little leak, either. DH about wrecked his bike he was laughing so hard.

aggie2006
05-06-2006, 05:43 AM
oh i guess im not the only one followed by the peepee monster! i do it all the time, i feel like what the say is true...

your born with a little patch of hair, you die with a little patch of hair,
when your a baby you use a walker, when your old you use a big metal walker,
when your a baby you have one little tooth, when your old you got one barely hanging on for its dear life tooth!
when your a baby you pee your self! when your old you pee yourself! (not that were old, but theres a certain catch to it!)

Dairy Fairy
05-06-2006, 08:14 PM
Aggie, if you have issues now, just wait until PREGNANCY;) You will never be the same :rofl:

rad7775
05-06-2006, 08:31 PM
Katie:
Girl I should obey the queen :queen: of the pee-pee world!! Girl, I'm telling you, you should made a comic book! I hope that with the bad gas the duckies didn't flew away! Love YA' Girl you are so funny!

Dairy:
I agree! :lol:

Repo girl
05-06-2006, 08:41 PM
Yeah, I must have bladder control problems. When I was pregnant with my 1st baby I threw up all the time, except I have had a surgery on my stomache that makes it so I cannot really throw up, so I just dry heaved and wretched all the time. The force of dry heaving would make me pee my pants, and I would have to go home from work and change my clothes. Talk about embarrassing!

rad7775
05-06-2006, 08:59 PM
Girl, did you have talk to a doctor about this before?

Repo girl
05-06-2006, 09:16 PM
No, MIL said that I should have asked them to tighten up my bladder when I had my last C Section. Not sure how they do that, but I did not ask. I will be in Depends by the time I am 35 at this rate!

rad7775
05-06-2006, 09:29 PM
OMG Katie :lol:... Girl, seriously, you should check,never hurts, is better to made sure that everything is OK! Let me tell you something DH though that I have a bladder problem b/c one night I did pee in the bed, but the truth is that I was dreaming that I was in the bathroom and it felt so real that they came out! It wasn't my fault Chicago is so cold and in my dream I felt so comfortable in the toilet that they came out, so girl, we are partners in pee-pee crimes! :D

Repo girl
05-06-2006, 09:46 PM
I have peed the bed out of drunkeness, pregnancy, and because of dreams. My poor DH, it is a wonder he even likes me at all.

Dairy Fairy
05-06-2006, 10:41 PM
Ok, this has happened to me once or twice in the last few years. I wake up and everything is soaked. I actually thought the first time "man, did I have a really good sex dream???" HAH!

Speaking of sex dreams, I am the queen. DH was talking to me one morning and said "why were you biting on my back and groaning last night." Well, I wasn't biting...I had a dream about kissing and I was kissing his back in my sleep and making noises! Goodness. I sometimes kinda come out of a light sleep realizing I am kissing air. I talk in my sleep too. I can never have an affair even if I wanted...I'd probably tell on myself in a bad way at night :rofl:

aggie2006
05-07-2006, 05:44 AM
DF~:rain: i had no idea you were so intuned with your sexual self :rofl:

Repo girl
05-07-2006, 10:45 AM
Oh Dairy, you have naughty dreams? If I was biting DH's back in the night, that would bring him right out of a coma, for sure!

rad7775
05-07-2006, 11:41 AM
Dairy:
Naughty Dairy naughty!!! :lol:

luvja
08-24-2008, 02:24 PM
Ok, well it was March 2008, I was in Jamaica. My friend Sara and I were walking up a set of staires leading up to this big popular bar. I wasn't really paying attention, and I turned around to talk to this Jamaican dude behind me and on the side of the staires they had these flower pots - well as I turned around I hit one of the flower pots with my shoulder! I FLIPPED backwards, literally, summersaults, backflips, you name it, all the way down the staires until I reached the bottom. I ended up landing on my back with my legs over my head!. LMAO, I have never laughed so hard in my life - Same with my friend Sara... All the Jamaicans ran to the balcony to see why we were howling/screaming/laughing so hard. Needless to say, they thought we were screwed up for laughing at me. Haha. I tryed to explain, in the Canadian culture, we laugh at eachother when someone gets hurt... lol.
I still can't get over how I didn't break anything!. I never knew I was THAT flexible...amazing. haha.
But yeah, INCREDIBLY embarrasing!!!!!!!!!

Mama Nicole
08-25-2008, 10:52 AM
I have peed the bed out of drunkeness, pregnancy, and because of dreams. My poor DH, it is a wonder he even likes me at all.

:rofl:

Repo girl
08-25-2008, 11:35 AM
Ok, well it was March 2008, I was in Jamaica. My friend Sara and I were walking up a set of staires leading up to this big popular bar. I wasn't really paying attention, and I turned around to talk to this Jamaican dude behind me and on the side of the staires they had these flower pots - well as I turned around I hit one of the flower pots with my shoulder! I FLIPPED backwards, literally, summersaults, backflips, you name it, all the way down the staires until I reached the bottom. I ended up landing on my back with my legs over my head!. LMAO, I have never laughed so hard in my life - Same with my friend Sara... All the Jamaicans ran to the balcony to see why we were howling/screaming/laughing so hard. Needless to say, they thought we were screwed up for laughing at me. Haha. I tryed to explain, in the Canadian culture, we laugh at eachother when someone gets hurt... lol.
I still can't get over how I didn't break anything!. I never knew I was THAT flexible...amazing. haha.
But yeah, INCREDIBLY embarrasing!!!!!!!!!


Hilarious!!!

We laugh at pain too. In fact, yesterday I was digging for crystals with my DH. He asked for the shovel and I accidentally hit him on the funny bone with it when I was handing it to him. I laughed forever. He didn't......