Hi, I'm new to this board. I guess I'll share a little about myself first.
I'm 26, married mother of 2. I have struggled w/ my weight since my teens. I am terriefied of gaining, and have 50 lbs to lose. After baby #2 I had 80 lbs to lose, and have already lost 30. Please don't congradulate me though. At a moment of despiration I decided the only way I could lose weight was to go back to my distorted habits I picked up in highschool. Besides that I realized that I have had an eating disorder my entire life, and the only times I was thin, was when I didn't fight it. Over the years I have flip flopped from every eating disorder you can think of. Compulsive over eating, anorexia, binging, anorexia, binging, anorexia, and bulimia. The cycle is vicious and I can't seem to break it. I want to lose the rest of this weight so desperatly, but I want to stop hurting myself too. Even as I type this my stomache is tight from last nights binge, and my face is swollen from purging all afternoon yesterday. I have gained 7 lbs in 2 weeks. This has to stop and I need support. My family dosn't have a clue how twisted I am, and I couldn't handle them knowing the truth. They already know that I am a total screw up, why add to the pot?
I try to workout at least 2x a week, and I know I could really lose if I could just stop the binging. If I stop the bining, and eat right. Food is just so hard for me. Anyhow, I own an elliptical and I love it. I own The Firm and I hate it. I am looking to buy an Easy Shaper this week, oh and I am a former dancer. I used to teach ballet, tap and jazz. Being fat is just *so hard* know I never should have let this happen.
Anyhow, enough rambling. I am very much looking forward to getting healthy, working out and losing weight. As you can see (if you made it this far) that I desperately need support. Thanks.
Newbie needing support
