General chatter - Should I be offended?

View Full Version : Should I be offended?

02-21-2006, 02:36 PM
Ok - so my maid of honor from my wedding just got engaged and is planning on getting married in November.

She keeps talking about bridesmaid dresses but not to me directly (her aunts and mom have mentioned the dresses to me) so I think she's planning on me being in her wedding, but she hasn't asked me yet.

Maybe I'm weird - when I got married I made sure I asked each of my bridesmaids to be in my wedding. Plus I don't know if she wants me to be her matron of honor or what...(she has two sisters so I highly doubt it, but I would still like to know...)

should I just flat out ask her? Or wait a while? I figured she and her fiance might still be working out attendant details so I didn't want to ask if she's not ready but I would think that if she wants me to be in her wedding she'd just come right out and say it...

02-21-2006, 02:56 PM
I wouldnt worry too much about it just yet!! You remember as a bride a million htings are flowing through your mind. Have a little patients, and you will see she will probably make a point of asking you too your face!!
If you really cant stand it(as i know I wouldnt!!!LOL).....then ask her aunts or mom, if they know who is being in the wedding party.
Good luck and let us know!!!

02-21-2006, 02:59 PM
I don't think you are weird at all. And...I think I would just come out and ask. That way you know one way or the other and you can put it behind you instead of thinking about. You don;t necessarily have to ask if you will be in the wedding party, but ask who the bridesmaids will be. November is closer than ya think. Good luck and yes, do keep us posted.

02-21-2006, 03:31 PM
I think that you should hold off on waiting for a little while. A friend of mine has asked me to be in her wedding and then a few weeks letter she posted her wedding party online and I wasn't included. She is probably just trying to figure out who's in and who isn't.

02-21-2006, 03:46 PM
Offended how? That she has yet to ask you and could be assuming your answer is yes or that there might be a possibility she won't be asking nor expecting you to stand with her?

I don't think you should be offended either way and don't just flat out ask her - that might cause her some undue embarrassment or force her to answer a question she's not ready to answer. If she's not planning on you being in the wedding, she may be finding it hard to tell you since she was your maid of honor.

Just remember, this is HER wedding and she's your friend. Offer her assistance whenever she might need it and let her take it from there. You will know soon enough what she is going to need from you - in her time - about her day.

Sorry I'm so blunt. I had a maid of honor and a matron of honor and the two of them argued until it came time to walk down the isle over which one should stand next to me. :rolleyes: I really wanted to kick them both outta the church by that point.

02-21-2006, 03:52 PM
well, i think that you should just ask her. if anyone is to feel dumb about this, it would be her for not telling you

02-21-2006, 07:24 PM
Thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it.

1dayatatime - I just got married 2 years ago so I do understand that this is her wedding and it is definitely her choice as to who is in her bridal party. It's a very personal choice and it's hers to make. I didn't mean for it to seem that I didn't. Would I be hurt if I weren't asked when all said and done? Of course I would - but it's her decision and I would still be her friend - no matter what. And I would never argue with her over her wedding to make her miserable so I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with it.

Maybe i'm not so much offended (after reading my intial thread I kind of sounded like a big b*&^%) but I think it's kind of weird that I'm being involved in so much of her wedding already (gone with her for her dress shopping, she's asking me advice on budget, locations, etc..., talked about the colors of the bm dresses) and she hasn't 'formerly' asked me. I thought that it was pretty normal for the bride to ask her attendents in a formal fashion.

Anyway, didn't mean to ruffle any feathers in the situation but I do appreciate your feedback.

02-21-2006, 07:38 PM
Just wanted to say that you look absolutely beautiful in your pic. :)

02-21-2006, 07:42 PM
Why don't you causually ask her when you two are together doing "wedding" things who the attendents are going to be? If she brings up colors or bridesmaids dresses just ask her how many or who she plans on having. Maybe she thought she has asked you and it just slipped her mind, heck, she might have thought she already asked you.

02-22-2006, 10:06 AM
kayleystar - thank you very much for the compliment. I really appreciate it :)

mom - I hadn't thought of that...good point - I might have to do that. Thanks for responding! :)

Misti in Seattle
02-23-2006, 03:51 AM
I agree 100% with Carrie!! This woamn is your friend so be supportive rather than offended!