General chatter - Questions about people who notice the WL

01-19-2006, 04:50 PM
I was wondering if I am one of the only ones this happens to.

We live in a smaller town and people will comment to my hubby about how much weight I have lost and "how is she doing it" and "she looks good, wow" but only a handful of people I know (mostly very good friends) have said anything to me. Is this normal? Why wouldnt the people who ask my hubby just say something to me?

01-19-2006, 05:13 PM
I asked my husband the same thing and he said that a lot of people these days are afraid of being politically incorrect and he personally is afraid to say anything to anyone about how they look!

Plus there are people who get offended when people notice they have lost weight, so I guess people don't know whether to mention it or not?

I'd like a few more comments myself!

Shanice Crawford
01-19-2006, 05:30 PM
Wow! I wish people commented on my weight loss that is when I loose weight but I don't like when people brag about my weight loss. Doesn't that get on your nerves... Alot of people may say you look sick or something when I was in my Junior year of High School I was loosing lots of weight and than gaining the weight back. But I stayed a size 7 for 2 years and than after I got out of High School I started to gain weight and you know the Lunch Lady at my School well of course you don't know but she said You look sick and i was like okay... But I had alot of teachers worried about me when I was missing alot of school because i basically didn't feel good but now that i"m out of High School I've not missed one day of school since i started my first year of College and I'm going to start back to taking my 1000 units of Vitamin C a day.

Well thats all I wanted to share

01-19-2006, 06:47 PM
It may also be that the people you see on a regular basis actually don't notice the weight loss.
A friend of mine had lost 20-30 pounds and since I saw her 3 times a week, I never noticed it until she held up her old clothes where you could see the difference. I myself cannot see my own weight loss unless it is on film, so I tend to depend on others to notice it- and many do notice even when I do not notice it at all.

01-19-2006, 11:48 PM
I would agree, firmgirl. Last year dh was slowly loosing weight but I had no idea. He just doesn't talk about those things. Maybe because I wasn't doing anything about my weight at the time and he didn't want me to think he was hinting or anything.

Anyway, one day I just noticed that his belly was smaller. I told him he looked really nice and trim. He smiled and said "Thanks. I've lost 20 pounds" :o With a big ol' grin :D

I had no clue he was even trying. He was doing things like cutting out the junk during the day and taking the stairs, etc.

For those that much weight did it take before you started noticing in your clothes? :)

01-20-2006, 09:25 AM
In my clothes it took about 20lbs, but I didnt get my first comment (to me) until 30lbs were gone...and now with close to 45lbs gone, I get some here and there, and my hubby gets a lot of people asking him about

01-20-2006, 11:32 AM
I think what it is, is that people don't want to be rude and say "Wow, you look good, did you lose weight?" or "You look so nice now!" Someone is bound to take it the wrong way and think that they didn't look good before.

I probably would still say that someone looked good and ask if they've lost weight. ;) I have a big mouth though!

01-20-2006, 03:41 PM
A lot of people where I work asked my secretary whether I was losing weight before they asked me. I guess they're just afraid of their comments coming across wrong, maybe I'm losing weight because I'm ill or bereaved or something (an extreme example, and possibly not the one they were concerned about, but a reason why you might not just jump in before you're sure that it's deliberate!)

I noticed that the first comments I got were always "those clothes are nice" or "I like your new haircut" rather than "have you lost weight". Then I did get "have you lost weight", and now I'm into "how have you lost weight" and "how much" territory - where there's absolutely no doubt about it but they just want the gory details!

01-20-2006, 07:20 PM
People make comments to my husband all the time (about my weight loss). I think it's just that weight is such a touchy subject, they don't want to offend. It's safer to comment to the spouse, secretary what have you.

01-20-2006, 10:18 PM
Who the **** gets offended when someone notices that they have lost a few pounds.........good lord.

I usually get lots of compliments on my hair at first......usally because I look different but people can't quite figure out what it is........

01-21-2006, 12:07 AM
Liz, I know what you mean, I am HAPPY as pie if someone asks me if I have lost weight. And, no one sees me daily except for my kids/hubby since I am a SAHM. But I can understand the politically correctness of it, but once hubby tells them "yes she has been watching what she eats, and loosing weight" you would think they would comment to me the next time they see me...NOPE, they still dont...oh well at least they are NOTICING!!!

01-22-2006, 01:59 PM
Who the **** gets offended when someone notices that they have lost a few pounds.........good lord.

I usually get lots of compliments on my hair at first......usally because I look different but people can't quite figure out what it is........

It's easy to be offended if someone says it wrong.

Like if someone says "Have you lost weight - you used to be really fat!"

Usually I would say "You're looking well - have you lost a bit of weight." Which I hope implies that they only needed to lose a bit.

01-22-2006, 02:39 PM
Women comment in completely different ways to men, I find. I've had a lot of women come up and ask me how much I have lost and how I am doing it.

Men tend to ask my other half, I think mainly so no one can accuse them of coming on to me!!! And also to check that the weight loss is a deliberate thing.

Hey the year before last these men were the same ones coming up to the man in question and asking him when I was due (um I wasn't pregnant!!!), and then when he said "she's not pregnant just fat" claimed it was because I was drinking coke rather than booze!!!! (don't worry, the other half was instructed to put it that way, by me! I was less sensitive about people calling me fat than people thinking I was pregnant!!!)

01-22-2006, 04:06 PM
.....ya the "you used to be really fat" is sort of a no brainer, it would offend.

I think it is pretty safe to say that most people are flattered that people notice they have lost some weight and are looking better, happier, healthier etc.


01-22-2006, 07:29 PM
I know the last time I had lost weight, I had women asking me all the time, but the one guy who did -at work- was real uncomfortable and stumbled around a bit before he could get it out that he just wanted to say how good I was looking. I'm sure if he had the chance he would have rather asked the dh! I used to walk in on people ALL the time in the break room or lunch room, and the room would go silent. Finally someone blurted to me, we were just talking about how much weight you've lost. I think you're right -that unless they are your close friend - they are likely not comfortable getting on that personal level with you to talk about YOUR personal weight, or the need to lose it! lol Congrats on your weightloss by the way. I'm looking forward to being talked about again, and hopefully it will start soon!:o

01-23-2006, 01:05 AM
Personally, I don't have a problem with comments (politely made, of course!). But, read around a bit and you'll find plenty of threads with people complaining that they don't like them at all. One complaint that I've noticed in particular is that if someone says, "Wow! You look great! You've lost weight haven't you?" the person on the receiving end takes it as an insult about how they USED to look rather than a compliment of how they look NOW.

I can't say I understand that kind of reaction. I suppose because weight issues can be so sensitive that those of us who struggle with them tend to assume the worst. I don't know. But, given that is the case, I can absolutely understand why someone would want to say something to a friend or spouse rather than directly to you. After all, if they are worried that you might be sensitve about your weight, as so many people are, it gives them an opportunity to pay you a compliment (obviously they know your DH is going to mention it to you) without risking offending you in any way.

So, I agree that it probably boils down to political correctness. I hate to say it but there are a LOT of people who are downright bitter about being overweight and the last thing they want to do is discuss it -even if the comments are complimentary. I think this makes the general public feel like they should be especially careful of what they say when it comes to diets and weight loss.

01-23-2006, 09:37 AM
I tend to agree with the others, I think it's a very sensitive subject and some people would be a little offended, and take it totally the wrong way, like for example, "Wow you've really lost the weight"!! To which some people would be like, "Man I must have really been fat"....Although compliments are nice, I am a shy like person and simply hate to draw attention to myself, I personally wouldn't be offended if someone commented on my weight loss, but I like I said I hate to draw attention to myself....

01-23-2006, 09:31 PM
I never ever comment on someone size. Where I come from we might talk about you behind your back but we would never come up and say oh wow
you look so great now because the implication would be you use to really look awful. A woman I don't know that well did that to me she is a greeter at
walmart. She said oh you look so much better than you use too. Gosh you
have lost a lot of weight. I just said really thanks for pointing that out. Somethings are just better unsaid to my face lol

01-24-2006, 10:33 AM
See, it would be much better to simply say "You're looking great" rather than add the "better than you used to!"

01-24-2006, 11:40 AM
Yup your right!