Weight Loss Support - Too Fat To Deserve To be Pretty... (Rant)
01-11-2006, 08:55 PM
Okay,so I'm not feeling confident in my clothes.All I got is old plain T shirts that are faded and fit me like tents.I want to buy myself clothes that will make me feel more confident (I can be confident,but sometimes ugly old clothes weighs your confidence down).I'm not saying you need new clothes to be confident,but I would like to look nice!
I know I'm fat,but I still think I should try and look my best to my taste.
So I ask my mom to go shopping with me (I would use my own money),which she usually loves.But she started nagging and yelling at me about how fat I was to buy myself new clothes.
I seriously need new clothes.I don't have much.I've never had much in the way of clothes either.And I want to feel good in my clothes.Now that I have the money,I would like to treat myself. I have very few,badly fitting,and faded clothes.I do have some nice tops,but that's it.What else can I wear for the week?
My mom was pretty mean about it.She's all high and mighty now trying on my pants and throwing at my face how "skinny" she's looking (she's fatter than me,BTW).
I just feel bad. *Sigh*
Please,I'm not a teen that lives for shopping only or anything like that.But I seriously would like to have new clothes.
01-11-2006, 09:16 PM
I dont usually post here, but i read your post, and it broke my heart:(. Everyone, no matter what their size, deserves to look good and feel good. Having some new or nice clothes makes every woman feel better about herself. Forget your mom, take friend or even go by yourself and buy some new things. You dont have to spend a fortune to look good, try walmart, cato(if you have one in your area) lane bryant,etc. I have had great luck on ebay and even in the goodwill stores! i want to look good as i am losing, so buying things from ebay and the goodwill works for me=cheap, but nice:)
No matter where you go, please go! you deserve to look and feel beautiful:)
Take care of yourself, you are special:)
01-11-2006, 09:29 PM
I suggest you start by buying yourself basis. Something you know you'll wear like black pants of an off white top. Sometimes when I lose weight, and I'm only speaking for myself, i buy trending things. When my skinny day is over, I never end up wearing them. So start with the basics. I'm guessing just wearing new digs will make you feel prettier. You derserve it!!! Don't let anyone tell you different. AND I don't know you or your mother but you mentioned she is heavier than you. I have a feeling, as wierd and dimented as it is (BTW I cant spell) she probably says those things because she loves you. NOT a healthy way to express her love, she probably just knows what it is like to not feel comfortable in her own skin and doesn't want that for her daughter, she probably wasn't taught ways to express this in the proper matter. Regardless, it is mean and hurtful and don't forget you can achieve anything you put your mind to and I can tell (even though I can't see you) YOU ARE A VERY BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN!!!!! DON'T FORGET IT;)
01-11-2006, 09:29 PM
Personally, I think your mom may thinks that if she gives you negative feedback to motivate you'll to lose weight. So maybe you get the attitude to lose weight, like "i'll show her!" and get really committed. Personally, i think that everyone needs nice clothes to feel good you know. Because i have tested it...when i look nicer is spirit is invincible. So you too...just go and get clothes on your own! Thats no biggie! So what if your mom doesnt want to go! i am not really sure where you live, but if there is a Torrid around where you live, totally go there...that place has really cute clothes for teens..on the bigger side. Or if you want less of a teen look and want to look more sophisticated...totally try lane bryant. Or you could buy online at Torrid.com or The Lane Bryant website. Go out and buy clothes, look cute and feel good.
01-11-2006, 10:57 PM
I used to read about people who said "I just want to wear jeans again" so i thought being fat meant you dont wear jeans. 2 years later and pretty much the same weight I feel grateful Im not wearing my stripe on the side trackies and a big yellow shirt.
I now wear jeans (sz 24-I think thats US 18-geez I wish I was an 18) and recently I bought a gorgeous boho scarlett red embroidered top in size 22 and I have had 3 comments on it by perfect strangers.
I also wear other nice hippy tops too. I have fat arms so even in summer I wear 3/4 sleeves. This sometimes gets me down but I get over it.
I now have several pairs of faded jeans and dark jeans, one pair with butterfly embroidery, and some nice sandals to match.
Another nice thing to do is to paint your nails even if you don't feel like it. You feel prettier.
My hair was lank and a mousey brown/blonde so I went to a professional hairdresser even though I was petrified they would laugh at my fat self(why are they all size 2?) and got blonde highlights.
Resultantly I feel so much better and far more me (even though I am fat and I believe the real me is a size 12-14).
You have to force yourself in the beginning but its worth it.
(Before I got this stuff I was wearing jeans with a huge rip on the hip so I had to wear a jumper around them, a horrible old black skirt and holey jumpers, people thought I was a hobo)
01-11-2006, 11:21 PM
Zapphire, I totally understand your frustration with the whole mom thing. I'm 21 and my mom has been on my case since I went to college and put on some weight (by some weight, it's only been 15 lbs from what i weighed in high school, and even at that point, people told me I didn't have a weight problem). My mom made me feel like I was a pig, and at one point told me when I went up a clothing size that she refused to buy me new clothes to fit me because "it shouldn't be a reward to gain weight." Oh yes my mom is 5 feet tall and 100 lbs too. It hurts so much to hear these compliments from your own mother, a person who is supposed to love you unconditionally can't love this bit of excess weight on you.
What I'm starting to learn to do is to take these comments with a grain of salt. For so long I believed what she said and thought the only way I could be accepted was to weigh under 115 lbs. But now I learned to brush her comments off; the excess weight is mine, and it's my job to take it off if I want and how I want, not her way. So if it takes me a little longer to lose by taking it off in a healthy way for me rather than starving myself, then let it be.
I guess I'm rambling, but basically I just wanted to say, your not alone with the mom comments, do the best you can to ignore those negative statements. And everyone deserves to look great with new clothes. Personally, I'm more motivated to watch my weight when I feel good about how I look in the clothes I'm wearing, no matter what size I am. Good luck and hang in there!