I don't really know what to say either, other than that I am sorry that your ex was such an a$$hole! lol Don't let it get to you...use is as part of your motivation. I have had some serious relationship problems this past year (not romantic, but family), and sometimes I get so down and just want to lie in bed and cry all day. I feel defeated and walked all over, like trash, worthless, totally tired of life, ya know what I mean? BUT lately I have started using that as motivation to move on and improve myself. I know that your ex or other negative people in your life should not be the reason you try to lose weight or improve yourself...you have to do it for YOU. But it doesn't hurt to have a little extra motivation. I'm usually not a huge Destiny's Child fan, but lately I have been listening to their song "Survivor" when I exercise. It gets me pumped up and makes me think that I can do this and I don't need them in my life. It also kind of gives me the attitude "I'll show them" or "prove to them" and myself that I can be successful and beautiful and strong and loveable with or without them.
I don't know if you are mentioning how you're feeling and your ex in regards to your diet or if you were just trying to chat about it and it is not effecting your weight loss, but for me, I know that when I am depressed about my relationship problems, I get the desire to just go stuff myself with chocolate or french fries and lie around on the couch. I am a big emotional , binge eater. So, if you're anything like me and are thinking about it, DON'T DO IT!!! It's not worth it! Do the opposite...take a walk, pop in an exercise video, lift weights, etc. But don't GIVE UP!!!! Love yourself, because you're worth it, no matter what ANY a$$hole says or does to you. Just remember that!!!
One more thing....I like doing "strong" type exercises when I am pissed or depressed about something people have done to me. Right now, I lift weights. Now, I am not a violent type person and would NEVER really physically fight someone in real life, but I like to imagine that I'm preparing for a fight with the person...like I'm in training...lol. I can't wait until I lose a little more weight and can keep up with TaeBo. I think I'll love that. Also, I want to get a punching bag. But, for now, I just lift the weights and imagine myself getting stronger...like I'm preparing for battle...lol. Do I sound crazy? lol
One big thing for me...I'm not sure if you're at all like this...but I have been a victim all my life. I am very sensitive and passive. I am always taken advantage of and walked all over, because I never stand up for myself. I just let people do it. I grew up with abusive parents and a screwed up extended family. Somehow I am the one that EVERYONE decides to screw over for some reason or another. But I have finally realized that, all these years, I have allowed it to happen. I have just cried and cried and played the victim card for all these years. I now realize that, while there is no excuse for those a$$holes out there that have treated me horribly, it is partially my fault because I have not loved and respected myself. How can I expect other people to love and repect me if I don't love and respect myself? (Granted, some of the people who have hurt me, like my parents, are the main REASON I haven't loved myself, but that's another story...lol) I am now learning to love and respect myself, and I think the outcome of that will be that other people will respect me. If I don't allow them to use me as a doormat, they won't, ya know? I don't know...I realize it's a lot easier said than done. And I've just started thinking like this, so I'm not even sure if it'll work yet...lol. But I guess I just had a "moment", and it all clicked for me, and it seems to be helping me so much to feel better and also helping me to live a healthier life.
Ok, now that I've written a book, I'll shut up. I am sending you a BIG CYBER HUG!!!
Thanks
Awww, Carla. I am sorry you are feeling so low. I don't really know what to say, but I wanted you to know someone read your post and cared.
