100 lb. Club - i suck...

View Full Version : i suck...

06-01-2005, 05:04 PM
and i need to be punished. i will be forcing myself to get back on track tomorrow. i've gained all my weight back and then some. if i don't do something i'm going to be pushing 300 soon. i bought clothes a while back in sizes 22 and 20 and 18 because i was sure i'd be in those sizes by summer.. (and i was in an 18 before i freaked out and started eating myself silly this last time) well, i'm still in a 24 and that's getting tight.... like sausage casing tight. i can't tell you when the last time was that i had a vegetable or a glass of water. i haven't been stuffing myself beyond capacity every day but i just haven't been making good choices at all. some days i eat what i'm sure is enough in calories to feed a small community and some days i hardly eat a thing. i haven't journalled in forever. i haven't had real exercise in forever. so tomorrow i'm going to start by cleaning things out. i'm going to be counting calories hard core but still be watching points ... just doing it more from a calorie focus... if that makes sense.
this is something i need to do.

so this is sorta my pledge. tomorrow i will take it ONE day at a time and stay on program. and if i have to come to the computer and send a pledge every night that i'll stay OP the next day i will do it.

06-01-2005, 05:14 PM
Best of luck to you....you are the only one who can make these choices for yourself. You know you will feel better by eating healthier and you know how miserable you are at this current weight.

If not me, then who?
If not now, then when?

I have been to goal and have gained back every pound, now I am back on my way to goal. I am taking it day by day and giving myself rewards for each five pound mark...nails done, teeth whitening, hair cut, now I am tanning for the summer :cool: ... because tan fat looks better than white fat! :lol:

You can do it!

06-01-2005, 05:14 PM
Shelly.. welcome back to the wagon.. :)

There is enough summer and enough time for you to wears those clothes this year if you behave... Make THAT your goal.


06-01-2005, 05:29 PM
Shelly, judging from your down-talking yourself, it sounds like you need to realize you're WORTH doing this for. It's not for everyone else that we should eat right or lose weight - it's for each of us. You DON'T suck, and you ARE worth it.

If you eat right, you'll find you can eat a lot more than you thought you could. It's not easy changing habits at first, but your thinking really come around if you substitute with foods that are satisfying both for your body's needs and your own personal palate. Check this out: http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/nutrition/weight.htm

You can do it. Like you said, if you have to pledge each night, do it. You're worth it.

06-01-2005, 05:31 PM
I didnt see your post "Idealperson" I am dying of laughter over here.. tan fat looks better than white fat..

Gotta love it! (not the fat.. the humor)


06-01-2005, 05:41 PM
You don't suck. I have been gaining a loseing the same weight over and over. It is a pain in the *** but, I know I can do it I just need to do it for my self. I get mad at myself all the time because the last time I was on WW, the loowest I had gotten was 204 and then I gave up and binged for a while and gained a lot of it back. But now I am back on the down word trend. so I kow you can get back on. I did and it is hard it really is but it feels good. I'm still now where near 204 yet but I know I will get there AGAIN and I am going to try with all my might not to get back up again. WE can both do it and neither of us suck!

PS. tan fat does look better, I just was writing about how lovely my arms look after a warm weekend out side on another thread. It must be an optical illusion but I do think its true!

06-01-2005, 05:50 PM
Shelly, you don't suck... your CHOICES lately suck.

I'm really glad that you're back here! Jump into the June points challenge and get back on track. :D

06-01-2005, 06:36 PM
aww thanks you guys.

gardenwife- i know.... i need an attitude adjustment. the whole inner thing with this journey since the beginning is trying to believe i'm worth doing this for and i deserve to do this for myself.

and just look at idealperson's signature... LOL i'm really cruising for a brusing it feels like. my thing has always been the reward system. i have a hard time doing things for myself. i used to reward myself with a day of eating whatever i want. i dont want that anymore. i want to find other ways of rewarding myself. i don't tan and i hate dentists LOL but i'm in dire need of a hair cut though. maybe that will be first on my list. not just a trim but something different than usual.

ajwings2001--- yes one of my goals for the summer is to fit back into those clothes... they are so cute and its so disappointing to see them just sitting there.

jennie934 and apryl--- thanks for the encouragement. it really means a lot. i'm ready to get back on the wagon full force.

06-01-2005, 06:48 PM
It's hard to break the habit of using food as a reward, but those of us who struggle with overeating need to find other ways to get that pat on the back. I think a haircut sounds great! That's one of the best things I did for myself...went from hair down to my waist to my current short 'do, all within a year's time, little by little.

06-01-2005, 11:49 PM
Shelly - yay! You are back!! I was wondering where you disappeared to! I am happy you are back... and you will be back on track soon, infact, if you don't.. I could totally come out there and kick your butt! ;) Whats your plan? I am good with game plans, I have a plan for everything... not that I always follow thru.. but I love lists. Let me know if you need anything :)


06-02-2005, 12:40 AM
Hiya Shelly. I just wanted to let you know that we're here for you! And Kimberly pointed out something very important- you're WORTH it. Let yourself do what's healthy and right for you. And pretty pretty please don't let what you weigh determine your self worth. It's taken me a long time to get to a point to say that, but it's something you should really work on- it will actually make it easier for you to lose the weight.

06-02-2005, 03:23 AM
Shelly, good to see you back! I agree w/everyone else, you ARE worth it & a haircut sounds great! :)

06-02-2005, 03:28 AM
Can't say anymore than the others. Good to have you back though.

06-02-2005, 05:24 AM
DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT!!!! How many of us have been on that same rollercoater ride? I know I have, & it is all just a learning experience. Atleast you are still willing to try & haven't given up on your body. Don't worry, you'll find your way...

06-02-2005, 11:22 AM
We are all here for you-keep in touch! ;)

Amanda Panda
06-02-2005, 03:07 PM
Nice to have you back Shelley!

Beating yourself up will not undo the weight you've gained - your clothes feeling tight is punishment enough! Good for you for recommitting and making your pledge here - that takes guts!

I too gave up points counting and began calorie counting - it really helped me to understand the nutrition and energy of food. After all what is a point? how much fat and energy is in a point? It was all a bit vague for me, but I understand how convenient they can be.

I also think a haircut is a great treat - it will really help to boost your self esteem!

All the best - check in daily if you can and you'll soon be in those 22's!

Love Amanda x

06-02-2005, 04:14 PM
Hi, Shelley - Just remembered a link I'd seen and I think it might be helpful for you. It shows basic ways to make changes to your diet, ones that aren't drastic, but will make a lot of difference. Hope it helps! :)


06-02-2005, 04:38 PM
thanks for the great advice everyone! i dont know why i keep disappearing from the group like i do. i love this place so much! i weighed in this morning and like i thought i've been maintaining an 8 pound loss which makes me feel good in a way because its 8 lbs gone but it could be more. so here today i'm starting again. i haven't had any junk food today and last night instead of grabbing chicken nuggets or something to snack on i had stir fry veggies ... and couldn't even eat it all! and i will be checkin' out all the links too! i'm feeling better today and i'm once again excited to get going again.

06-02-2005, 05:04 PM
Hey Y'all!

I laughed at the summary of IdealPerson's "tan fat theory"..

A totally fabulous reward idea: a massage... everybody join me, just say "aaah!" You can usually do 30, 60, or 90 minutes. A massage is DEFINITELY better than food!!!

As for revving up your attitude: Regardless of what food plan you're on, Dr. Phils Ultimate Weight Loss Strategies has some easy to follow action plans for fixing your "stinkin' thinkin' " But, he is very direct in pointing out it's more than just "thinking yourself thin."

I have realized (finally, I hope!) that this is where the biggest part of the battle is for me--in my head, I mean! I've lost 100 pounds, 50 pounds, 75 pounds on different occasions, but obviously there is something that has kept me from keeping it off. I think it's the voices in my head!:lol:

Actually, a good friend and I started calling those thoughts "the protesters" :nono: because those thoughts always seem to be on the sidelines w/ signs chanting all the bad stuff. So, a great deal of my journey is focused on changing my "internal dialogue" and "self-talk'! :bravo:

So, to quote Dr. Phil: "It's not too late! You can do it! There's no shame or blame here..." and as he & Oprah have quoted Maya Angelou, "When you knew better, you [do] better!"


06-03-2005, 04:22 PM
Welcome back Shelly. You can do this. Just remember to take it one day at a time, one meal at a time if you have to just to get back on track.

06-12-2005, 11:55 PM
so this is sorta my pledge. tomorrow i will take it ONE day at a time and stay on program. and if i have to come to the computer and send a pledge every night that i'll stay OP the next day i will do it.

Hi Shelly! Where are you??

You don't know me, but I've been thinking about you. I was moved by your post when you made it (I seem to identify with everyone's stories here!!). I understand the battle between what you think you should be doing and what you are doing.

I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds, but I was wondering how you're doing? We've all walked more miles in your shoes than you can chalk up on a pedometer, so let us know if you need help!

06-14-2005, 01:33 AM
Shelly - Great to see you! I've just ventured back to the forums myself.. I mean i've been reading here and there but haven't been posting as I've been in such a rut.. I as well am committed to getting back on track, so lets forget yesterday, the day before and even the week before. Let's take it one day at a time and look forward! :D

06-17-2005, 03:57 PM
OMG i went missing again! but its not what you think. I've been cooking, cleaning, playing in the pool, staying outside (i have the massively painful sunburn to prove that LOL) and most of all STAYING OP. it took me a bit to actually get started. i had a few good days last week and the week before but today will be my 3rd day in a row. i'm down about 8 pounds now. WOO HOO. so thank you everyone for the thoughts and encouragement. it really means a lot!

and about massages because several of you've mentioned them. massages hurt me. i'm not sure why. i can't stand people touching me (but i love touching other people LOL). i don't know if its psychological but i am very sensitive and anytime i've ever had someone to say "here let me give you a massage" i cringe the whole time because it hurts.

06-17-2005, 04:23 PM
Good...No, GREAT for you, Shelly! :D

Hope your sunburn heals up soon - ouch.

06-17-2005, 10:00 PM
I am SO glad to hear things are going well!!! Congrats on staying OP and losing the 8 pounds!

P.S.- I don't like massages either. I am so unbelieveably ticklish that it would be a really successful form of torture should someone want to extract secret information from me... :stress: