WW Clubs and Groups - Turtle Club # 28

Hi, Turtle Buddies,

Here it is - my "official" version of the fable:

The Hare and the Tortoise

A hare met a tortoise one day and made fun of him for the slow and clumsy way in which he walked.

The tortoise laughed and said, "I will run a race with you any time that you choose."

"Very well," replied the hare, "we will start at once."

The tortoise immediately set off in his slow and steady way without waiting a moment or looking back. The hare, on the other hand, treated the matter as a joke and decided to take a little nap before starting, for she thought that it would be an easy matter to overtake her rival.

The tortoise plodded on, and meanwhile the hare overslept herself, with the result that she arrived at the winning-post only to see that the tortoise had got in before her.

Moral: Slow and steady wins the race.

This comes from a book handed down from my grandmother to my mother to me. The book is so old it doesn't have a copyright date or an author/editor's credit.

That fable has been the motivation for us turtles for about two years. Someone on the ancient WW forum mentioned the fable and I discovered it was very motivational for me. I talked about it in posts and other people said that the tortoise philosophy worked for them, too. So, I started a thread for us turtle types.

We work toward accepting that our bodies have a natural speed of weight loss when we choose to live a healthy life, instead of "going on a diet". Many of us have experienced "the diets" as go on/lose weight-- go off/ gain the weight plus more back.

We choose to perservere with each choice we make throughout the day. We believe that choosing to be slow, steady turtles helps us to learn the skills we need to learn in order to not only lose the weight, but keep it off and become the healthiest people we can be.

So, welcome to all who realize that losing and maintaining a weight loss is a lifestyle change. And who want support as we all learn the skills we need to successfully make the changes that will allow us to reach our goals.

Happy turtlin', everyone!

Lin

Hi, Turtles,

Veep, I'm glad my rambling thoughts were of some help. I hope the protein thing helps. I also agree with those great folks in the chat room that reminded you that sometimes thirst masquerades as hunger. I'm glad you're going to discuss this with your doctor. I know what you mean about forgetting about how easy the program is. I've noticed that people often seem to make simple things complicated. My dh is always complaining about how his managers do that, with the result that nothing gets done! :lol: I'm sure you'll get back to fitting in those comfy clothes and be able to maintain a reasonable weight. It's just going to take figuring out what adjustments you need to make now that your life has changed due to your health issues. Congrats on having a better Saturday!

Lauren, I'm so glad that your vacation was wonderful. My dh and kids and I all agree that we need a real vacation. Not happening in the forseeable future, but I'm hoping to get enough money together for another day trip to Monterey or to the Bay Area. You and your dh are still in my prayers. I hope the news you post is great!

Judy, congrats on staying OP. Those banked points can be such a blessing. They often get me through difficult times. Even if you don't get to 200 as quickly as you'd like, remember that every day that's OP is one more successful day. And by staying OP, even if you lose more slowly, you are learning how to keep it off, once you get to your goal.

I've been doing so-so over the past few days. I've not been counting points or journaling, but I've been making pretty good choices, anyway. Planning my meals. Making soup and salad. Getting in some exercise. I stepped on the scale and I'm pretty much maintaining. Which is a lot considering the way my life is in such an upheaval right now.

I had very bad news about my brother. The doctor said that if he chooses to do nothing, no chemo, etc. he has 6 months left. They're going to do one more test to find out what kind of cancer it is so they can figure out the best course of treatment, but it doesn't look good for the long haul. He's going to be 45 this year. That's even younger than my dad was when he had the same thing happen. Even though we aren't very close, I am a basket case.

I can't focus on doing this whole program right now. But I don't want to just chuck it, either. So, I'm going to really focus on getting the water, vitamins, exercise and making the best food choices that I can. I read an article that said that regular exercise can alleviate depression as well as a lot of medications, so that's going to be my main focus. If I can get past these days when I just cry and get back to being my normal self, I'll be able to get back totally OP. I think this is especially difficult for me because I've never been a weepy female. I've never before just started crying for no reason. (Well, except when in the throes of pregnancy hormones, but I know I'm not pg.) In the meantime, I'm going to do what I can. This thread has been the best support I've had. I really believe that if it hadn't been for all of the wonderful ladies, and a gent or two, who have posted over the years, I would have continued my yo-yo habits instead of managing to maintain the loss I had. Thank you all for your great support of me and each other.

Happy turtlin'! :D

Lin

Lin, I'm so sorry about your brother. :( What kind of cancer is it, do you know? Is it the same one your father had? I can only imagine what your family is experiencing. Now it's our turn to pray for all of you. I know some cancers are quickly fatal if you don't get chemo -- but highly curable if you do. Hopefully that's the kind he has.

About feeling depressed and weepy, you said something interesting -- that you hadn't been like this since you were pregnant. Could you be starting menapause? I know as I'm getting older that my PMS emotions are getting worse, like they were when I was a teenager. I figure it's due to hormonal changes in my body, and I also figure that it's going to make menapause real interesting. Maybe that's part of what's making this recent change in your life so difficult.

DH had his tests today, and the news is good. The doctor doesn't think he has cancer. The only way to know for sure is to do a biopsy, but for various reasons that's not a good option right now. So we're going to have more tests done in four months to see if anything has changed. If it hasn't, then we're probably home free. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers, everyone. I'm not completely relaxed about things at this point, but at least I'm not in panic mode!

The one silver lining to being so upset is that my appetite takes a dive, my metabolism revs up, and I tend to lose weight. I suspect that's part of why I lost weight even over our vacation. Now that this hurdle has passed, I find I want to eat everything in sight! Yikes.

I agree with Lin -- this little discussion group has been a major influence in my managing to keep off almost 60 pounds, even 3 years after beginning this journey. Thank you, everyone.

--Lauren

Should anyone here feel the need for more support, I've found two more forums for people who lose slowly:

http://pub38.************/fdottisweightlosszonefrm103 is a forum called "Unhurried Success" over at Dotti's Weightloss Zone. It just started up.

http://pub70.************/flightenup78347frm6 is a forum called "The Scenic Route" on a brand new board by Wendie (who started a forum of the same name over at Dotti's; that forum was discontinued).

Neither of these is precisely like the turtles at this point, but that's OK, too. I thought I'd publish the links here just in case 3FC should ever go down, we could rediscover each other there.

--Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

Lauren, I'm so glad your news is good! I'll keep you and your dh in my prayers that things are still good, even better in four months.

OTOH--I'm sorry that the good news has caused you to want to eat everything in sight! I'm the opposite. When things are awful, I eat. When things are just ordinary or great, I'm fine. That shows you all why I've been thankful just to maintain my weight over the past four months, after I lost the 12 or so pounds at the beginning of the year.

I don't know what kind of cancer my brother has. My mom hasn't called with the results of the biopsy on the tumor in his lung. He also has one in his brain and it's the fact that it's already spread so much that has them making dire predictions.

It's possible that I could be starting menopause, but it's more likely perimenopause. My periods are very normal and I know that I'm still ovulating. I'm going to make an appointment this morning for a regular checkup, though, to find out the answer to that question. Also, to see if there is anything they can do about how heavy my periods are. I cannot work or go back to school without doing something about that problem. I'm thinking maybe the pill would be the best solution right now, unless I have fibroids or something else. But I don't have heavy cramping or any weird symptoms, so I don't think it's serious, just annoying.

I'm doing much better today. I do notice that there is a correlation between where I am in my cycle and how well I deal with what happens each day. Still, I don't think hormones are the cause of what I've been going through, emotionally. I think it's just that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and the hormones only exaggerate my reactions, during certain times each month.

And it's not really over, yet. David is ready to move. He has a moving date and all he has left to do is to pack his stuff and get it ready to go. He's excited.

Chris has been talking about art school in San Francisco. They sent him a card about applying to take a couple of classes in their summer program for high school students. The problem is that he has nowhere to live and they don't mention housing. I'm not telling Paul until I get the information, but I'm going to send for the packet and find out if there is housing available and what it costs. They have scholarships and Chris needs to be busy this summer. Plus, it will give him an opportunity to check out the school and see if he really wants to go there or try the other art school in San Francisco.

I'm doing OK, still, with WW. Like I said, I'm not going to just chuck it all because I am having trouble coping with everything in my life. I'm going to do what I can each day. Today, I'm planning to go swimming. It's a beautiful California summer day, perfect for a swim. I'm going to wait until Paul gets home. He's been wanting to go swimming together for a week or so, but TOM got in the way.

Happy turtlin'! :D

Lin

Hi,

I am really in shock and I need your prayers and support even more right now. Paul just walked in the door, and it's only noon. He got laid off, along with a ton of other people. This came out of the blue with no warning. We have some severance pay to keep us going for a while, but it takes so long to find a job these days, especially in this current market. I don't know how much more bad news I can take. Thanks for cyberlistening!

Happy turtlin'! :)

Lin

Oh, Lin. I'm so sorry. The cliche "When it rains it pours" leaps to mind, although in your case I'd call it more of a tidal wave. You must both be in complete shock. I wish I could help. I will certainly pray for you and your family.

I hope this layoff turns out to be the blessing in disguise, the turning point that leads you all to a better place in every way, even if you have to go through a difficult time initially. I know many people for whom this has been the case -- in fact, most people I know who've been laid off have eventually been glad. Hard to believe right now, I know.

Please let me know what kind of work Paul will be looking for, and I'll keep my eyes open. You know about the job boards, right? There are a bunch of them, especially for people with technical backgrounds.

In the meantime, I know you've mentioned your faith in passing, so you know that God loves you more than you can imagine and will never let you drown. Whatever comes, he will be there with you.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing -- don't EVER worry about being negative here or some such hooey. We care about you, and we're here for you.

--Lauren

Lauren,
I'm glad of the news about your dh and thanks for the sites for other slow turtles. I was thinking the same thing--I'd miss us all so much if we went off line.
Lin,
I don't know where to begin. I am so sorry for all your horrible news. I am praying for your brother that wise doctors can find a treatment to help him. I am praying for your children that they find their way. I am praying for you and your dh with this current layoff. When I listen to the news and I see layoffs just to keep fat cats happy with the profits a company makes with no regard to the workers who are breaking their backs to make the profits, I wonder where America is going. Many of us work so hard for so many hours and are still in danger of being let go for no reason beyond our salaries and their cost to the company.
Lin--I am speechless. I'll let Lauren be my guide and let you know that God enfolds and embraces you. Whatever you can do with food right now is fine, keep your head as clear as you can, put yourself in God's hands and pray for the best. I am here with huge hugs--I can really hug great--and please keep writing so we know you're okay.
Love ya'
Judy

234/206/thinner

Hello dear Turtles,

Please excuse my slowness in getting to know each of you individually. I read down the postings and then realize that i don't know who said what...who is grappling with what...etc. I hope in time to be able to offer individualized support as each of you so lovingly do!

One thing I couldn't miss is that Lin is going through terrific trials right now. Keep in mind that desparate times call for desparate measures and be AS KIND TO YOURSELF as you can be! Get spiritual, social and medical support. You are already doing all of those things. Sounds like you are also being very practical and loving to yourself in the way you are handling WW right now...

I'm doing OK. I did see my doctor and he said the wt gain is due to slowing metabolism by the med. Eat less, move more. Sound familiar? So OP is my best course of action. Surprised???

Everyone take care,
Vee

Hi, Turtles,

Thank you so much for all of your kind, and beneficial words. I'm trying very hard to hang onto my faith. God has always been there for us. I know that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but I'm being stretched to my limit. My family needs me to hold on, but I'm not sure how to do that. I thank each of you who are religious for your prayers and those who are not, thanks for your good thoughts. I believe that every bit of positive energy that comes my way helps in some way or another.

This is his fourth layoff since a major Silicon Valley comapany eliminated his job classification one month prior to his 20 year anniversary with the firm. And he's not alone. The people he worked with were discussing how many times they each had been laid off. It's the pits.

Lauren, I've had people tell me that their layoff turned out to be a good thing, and each time Paul has been laid off it has resulted in something better in some way or another, training in a different area, being promoted to supervisory positions, etc. Paul is a lead senior electronic technician. He has experience in a variety of types of technical work, but it's almost all hardware. He's found about 150 potential jobs on one of the boards and hasn't checked the others, yet.

I worry most about his ability to find work at the senior level and at the pay he needs just to stay even. In the hardware fields, companies are more and more looking for younger people with just enough experience that they can do the job, but not so much that they won't work cheap. By cheap I mean $12-15.00/hour. Which they know is a ridiculous pay level for someone with Paul's experience, so they tell him they "can't afford him."

I'm going to have to try to find any kind of work here in Salinas to help keep us from being forced to move from this apartment. Our severance pay, plus unemployment will only keep us going for a couple of months. And we have no savings, since we had to use it for this forced move. The last time Paul was laid off, it took four months for him to find a job and we cannot hold out that long, or longer, since there is a little recession going on in Silicon Valley right now. A lot of people are looking for work. So, pray that I find something quickly so I can help keep us going long enough for Paul to find a job. I'm not going to be too picky, since this is an emergency situation.

Veep, I'm so glad you talked with your doctor. Slowing metabolism sounds like a lot more moving is in order. You may find that exercise is the key to getting back in control. Plus, a bit more exercise may allow you to continue to eat enough points to be satisfied with your overall diet. Hang in there. You will manage to figure out what your body needs now that you're on this medication. One suggestion I have with regard to food--add more fiber. You get a lot of fullness for few points. But do it gradually and drink more water.

Judy, your comments about corporate American's handling of the work force are very appropos. Especially since, in the high tech fields, at least, most people are hired "at will". Which means that you or they can terminate the "relationship", as they call it, without notice. It's more of a problem if you work in manufacturing because current corporate strategy is to contract as much of that work overseas as possible, due to cheap labor. Labor is a liability and that's why layoffs increase profits. But you have to lay off the right people. Engineers are considered assets because they design patentable stuff. That's why they get whatever they want in salaries and perks and rarely get layoff notices.

I'm also asking you to pray for one more thing. That I can manage to at least maintain my weight, right now. I don't want to come out of this trial with more pounds to deal with. I'm making an effort to get some exercise and to make healthy food choices. That's the best I can manage right now. Thanks! You are so great, all of you.

Well, that's about it for now. Thank you all again for your cyber hugs, prayers, and good thoughts.

Happy turtlin'! ;)

Lin

Lin, am also praying re: food issues. I figured that would be high on the list.

Not sure what kind of salary Paul is looking for, but I just did a quick check on www.engineerjobs.com, and there are a bunch of electronic engineer jobs in Michigan, only some of which so far require a college degree (some say it would be nice but experience is more important); salaries look to be running around $50K, and that's in inexpensive areas like Grand Rapids, Michigan. You could buy a decent house on that in Grand Rapids, even with no income from you. http://engineerjobs.com/jobs/michigan/GrandRapids8533.html (That's the interior frame; the main site is www.engineerjobs.com )

I know you'd rather stay in your area, and I have no idea what Paul's skills are, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to mention it.

You've probably already seen this site -- http://www.homefair.com/homefair/cmr/salcalc.html -- it compares what your salary would be worth in different cities and states. For example, if Paul found a job earning $50K in Grand Rapids, MI, what would that compare to in terms of cost of living in Salinas? (Turns out there's not a huge difference; he'd need to earn about $57K in Salinas to achieve the same standard of living. Houses in Salinas must be relatively cheap. I compared Grand Rapids to San Francisco just for grins -- you'd need to earn almost twice that much to achieve comparable living standards in SF! Whew.)

Veep, now you've got your confirmation. It must be small comfort! Good for you for just starting in and doing the right thing for yourself, even when it pinches.

--Lauren

Hello all.....

Been awhile since I posted on here.... I have been on WW for over a year and have only lost 25 pounds. I know that is a lot of weight but I thought I would be thinner by now... A lot of the people that are in my group have hit their goal in a year. Lately I feel like such a failure and lost that drive to lose weight, been cheating a lot lately. I am 25yo and feel like a huge big butt pig. Where did that motivation go?? Please help..... You guys seem like you know what your doing......


Merri
236/209/130

Hi, Merri, and welcome back. Great to see you here. Congratulations on losing 25 pounds! That's a fantastic pace for long-term weight loss. That's the mark of someone who's doing the hard work and learning as she goes

I'm sure you know all this, but sometimes it bears repeating:

-- The worst thing we can do on this journey is compare ourselves to others. I know it's hard. But you're unique, and your journey is your own -- nobody else's.

-- Fast weight loss looks like the holy grail, but it almost always isn't. I've lost 100 pounds in a year before. And -- surprise, surprise -- I didn't learn the lessons I needed in order to keep it off. This time, I'm going slow, and it's working -- three years after I started, I'm nearly 60 pounds less than I was. Slow loss is easier on your body and helps you take the time to learn what you need to learn in order to make this loss PERMANENT. And that's the bottom line -- what do you want to weigh in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? What good is it if we lose all our weight in time to be skinny this summer, if we're going to balloon right back up to our old weight by next summer?

-- Write out a list right now, noting all the things that have improved since you lost 25 pounds. Do you have more energy? Are you wearing a smaller clothing size? Do you fit better into seats? Can you walk farther without getting breathless? Do you feel better about yourself? This list can help you do a couple of things -- first, recognize that you're making changes that are wonderful for yourself. And second, keep you from falling into self pity and self loathing, which I think you're starting to fall into. Allowing those emotions to overcome you will cause you to self destruct, and who needs that? Stop and turn around NOW. You're worth it.

--If you haven't read it yet, pick up a copy of "Thin for Life" (don't recall the author). It's a great book that focuses just on people who have lost weight AND kept it off for three or more years. It's a great reality check. Each person has followed his or her own journey toward permanent weight loss, and most of them took several different efforts to get there. It's a wonderful book.

--Are you exercising? Instead of focusing heavily on the scale (which I believe WW promotes, unfortunately) or even on the mirror, focus on how your body feels and how your clothes feel. Are you stronger? Growing in physical confidence? Exercise can do that for you.

--Finally, start talking nicely to yourself. Ban all thoughts about being a pig, or whatever. Don't indulge those kinds of thoughts. What's the point? Talk to yourself as if you were a good friend. Would you call a friend a pig? This may sound really weird, but try standing in front of a mirror and saying, "You're beautiful, sweetheart, and you can do this." It sounds like you need to make some peace with yourself. Try a little kindness.

Welcome, again. Let us know how it goes.

--Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

We wordy turtles often post long messages. But they're usually great. I hope this one is helpful.

Welcome back, Merri. It's always great to hear from folks who don't post as often. And congrats on the 25 pounds.

I'm with Lauren. Her advice is right on the mark. One small addition--ban the word "only", as in "only lost x # of pounds". That word minimizes your successes and causes you to think you're not doing well enough. Which is total nonsense. Every pound, every inch, every dress size, every glass of water you drink, every time you write down your points and food, every exercise or activity session (I found out that I burn about 6 points doing my grocery shopping when my pantry is empty because my grocery stores are huge and I walk the whole store.) everything you do to get to your goal is a success worthy of celebration.

FYI--"Thin for Life" is written by Anne Fletcher. I highly recommend it, also. It's on my rereading list. I need the boost right now.

A bit of my story that might be helpful to you. The last time I started WW was when I sent for the At Home kit in 1997. I lost 50 pounds. Then we had some of the kind of major stresses that we're facing now. (Paul's first layoff after almost 20 years with the same company.) And I decided to work on maintaining that loss. I gained some back, but a lot less than I had during past efforts at losing weight. This year I recommitted to WW and lost 12 pounds at the beginning of the year. I've kept it off, too. My pattern has been to lose for a while, then stay the same. So, I decided to go with that flow and choose to lose that way. My goal was to lose in 20 pound increments, but right now I'll settle for maintaining until my life settles back down again.

My point is that the generally accepted pattern in our culture is to lose all the weight in one race to the finish. Then they've finished their "diet". For most people, that seems to mean going back to eating whatever they want again, eating all that stuff they were depriving themselves of in order to lose the weight. We've been taught that we have to punish ourselves for allowing ourselves to get fat by depriving ourselves of what we love so we can become acceptable again. Then when we're thin, we can stop punishing ourselves. Thus, the birth of the yo-yo syndrome. To compound the problem, many people stop exercising when they reach goal, too. They didn't want to exercise in the first place. They only did it to get the pounds off. Since exercise feels like punishment to a lot of people, they figure they can stop that as well as stop depriving themselves of food they like.

What all of us have learned is that the generally accepted pattern doesn't work, long term. So, we decided to try another path. We stopped depriving and punishing ourselves. We continue to eat what we like, but we're fitting it into a healthy lifestyle. A lifestyle isn't a race. It's a journey. Since there is no end to the journey, it's easier to keep going. We figure that whenever we get to goal, we'll keep doing what we were, but make adjustments to reflect our desire to maintain rather than lose weight. That's no different from making adjustments along the way to break a plateau or reflect more current nutritional and exercise research to keep ourselves as healthy as we can be.

This results in much slower weight losses, but most of us have kept off at least some of the weight we've needed to lose for years. It will take a while for us to get to our weight goals, but it took us a lot longer to put the weight on. After all, most of us started with over 100 pounds to lose. And I'm sure our doctors would agree that any weight loss we maintain is an improvement in our health, which for most of us is our main focus.

Lauren, thank you for the helpful web sites. We've checked out the salary comparisons, too. San Jose is about as expensive as SF, which is why we now live in Salinas. I told Paul about the information in Michigan, but he has two objections. First, unless he cannot find work at all, he doesn't want to move anywhere until Chris is graduated. It's really hard to get all the credits a kid needs when you move during the last couple of years of high school. The other reason is that he HATES cold weather. He loved Arizona when he was in the Air Force, but hoped never to see Illinois again. So, when we check out other states, we tend to look in the warmer climes.

Some good news/bad news. The good news, Adecco is sending my resume for an admin job that may turn into a full-time regular position. The pay is pretty good, too. The bad news is that it's in San Jose and I don't know what I'm going to do about transportation until Paul gets work. We'll work that out, though. I'm thinking that maybe Paul can drive me to Gilroy and I can take public transportation from there. I can't do long distance driving because of health issues. So, when we were commuting together, it worked out fine. Anyway, pray that I get the interview and that it goes well. I probably won't hear anything until Tuesday. It's working for a man in sales, so he wanted someone with some sales in their background. It sounds like a job I could be content with, even if it's not my first choice of work. The extra money will keep us going for a while, but it's not enough to support the family long term.

Anyway, things are not quite as horrible and if I don't get this job, I'm going to get a bit more agressive about pushing Adecco to look a little harder. I've checked the job market here over and over and it's absolutely dead. There was one interesting possibility as an editor in a publishing company, but it wasn't in Salinas. It was in one of the nearby towns, but not on the bus route.

This is long enough. Happy turtlin'! :)

Lin

Sounds good, Lin. I'll also be getting some resumes out next week -- there are more big-time rumors of upcoming layoffs at my company. They're starting to ask people if they would be willing to travel 100 percent of the time for their job. If the answer is no, guess what your chances are for a future here? I'm certainly not willing to travel 100 percent of the time. There's a great recipe for disaster for my marriage (not to mention my psyche). So ... back into the job market.

About warmer climates ... does your husband like humidity? Places like South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Louisiana, and Mississippi are *very* cheap to live in. The South generally is much cheaper than anywhere else in the country. But there is a lot of humidity. We lived in southern Virginia when I was a kid; my folks currently live in North Carolina, and whew, does it get hot down there. But you wouldn't believe how much house you can get for not much money in many areas. Dunno about Arizona and New Mexico ... how about Oklahoma or Texas? OK, I'll shut up now. :-)

Your points about slow weight loss are great, Lin. I felt encouraged just reading them. They reminded me all over again why I'm doing this and made me feel better about losing slowly. A real keeper.

--Lauren

Merri,
Welcome back. You're a new name to me. I've only been posting here since about February. I think about only losing 25 pounds and I think about us. That's exactly what I did last year. But 25 pounds is great! Please don't think about what other people did. It is extremely irrelevant, though tempting, to compare ourselves with others.
You are you. You're doing fine. It's great you are posting. Do what got you started losing in the first place. Did you journal, drink the water, exercise, graph a weight loss, stock up on LF, SF foods? Figure out what you did and do it again. Trust me, you'll be so happy. In the meantime I am so glad you're posting. Love your name. Remember, you're very young and have a whole life ahead of you to be slim and healthy. Good for you for giving this a shot.
Lin, I'm so glad you have a chance at a good job. I've got good vibes and prayers coming your way. You do not have to throw away your nice weight loss just because all of this is more than you want to bear right now. Remember your wonderful soup and salad ideas and keep on turtlin'.
Lauren, you're smart to get your resume ready in case you have to jump ship. This is all very stressful. Thanks for writing such great tips for healthful living and valuable suggestions for all of us.
Good for all of us for hanging in there. I took a little hiatus from program, but being OP feels better, so I'm back on.
Everybody take care and write when you can.
Judy

234/206/thinner

Hi, Turtles,

Wow, Lauren. I don't think I'd want to travel that much, either. I hope you find a better job before your company's layoff rumors become reality. I'll add your job hunt to my prayers.

Re: warmer climes--good ideas, but I can't take humidity. My sinuses get clogged and I get these awful headaches when it gets humid here, which isn't often, thank goodness. There's a reason why so many people want to live here. It has the best climate. It's similar to the Napa Valley and the area around the Mediterranean Sea. So, I'm a spoiled native Northern California lady. :lol: The real reason is that the tech industry in the South doesn't include companies that have jobs in the type of work Paul does. There's a little in the Southwest, some in Austin, Texas, but that area seems to go bust with great frequency. Most of it is in the Northwest and Silicon Valley, where the cost of living is similar and astronomical. However, I really appreciate you putting your creative brain to work on my problem.

Thank you all for your supportive words about maintaining my weight loss. I'm not doing great, but I'm not bingeing or gorging or anything either. I just can't seem to get back to writing it down and planning. I think it's because I'm more focused on stretching the groceries as far as I can. Judy, I especially thank you for your reminder about soup and salad. They can be my lifesaver because they fill me up and they're full of the nutrients I need to maintain my health.

The thing is that even if I get this job, the pay, combined with Paul's unemployment insurance, is barely enough to cover rent and a little bit of food. I don't know what we'll do about our utility bills, gasoline for the commute, etc. if Paul doesn't find a job before the severance pay runs out and we're trying to survive on what I'll make (being optimistic about getting the job) and unemployment. Or worse, if it takes longer than 6 months and we no longer have the unemployment money coming in. I hate to be "borrowing trouble", to quote an old cliche, but I've known people who have had to sell their houses to get money to live on because it took a year to a year and a half to find a new job. It's especially difficult for older men in the tech fields. So, I'm being a bit of a worrywart. All I have to depend on is my faith in God because I certainly don't have faith in corporate America.

Judy, congrats on getting back OP. I'm looking forward to hearing about you gradually getting back to the weight you want to be.

Happy turtlin'! :)

Lin

Veep, Kimmers, Merri, Lauren and Lin,
My best to all of you. Yesterday I had a wonderful day and today I'm going to have to work hard. Got to ballet again and met my other daughter for dinner. We all took the train home and are getting ready for a barbecue today. Our guests are usually WWs, but we got a call that they're off program right now. So.......I just got back from grocery shopping with plenty of OP food and a few items that would be tricky to fit in. I'm going to do very well today because otherwise I will give back my weight losses of the last month.
My prayers go to all of you in the trials you're facing right now. Please keep me in your prayers and good vibes too.

Have a lovely Memorial Day Weekend.

Judy 234/209/thinner

Judy, way to go on having such a good day! Good luck with the barbecue and the no-longer-OP WW friends. Sounds interesting.

Lin, I hear you about the humidity. I don't like it much either But there are tech spots outside of points west. Those are the spots you know best, I suspect, and I'm sure there are lots of jobs there -- but as you point out, they're also very expensive places to live.

However, no place will have a better climate, I'm sure. It just all depends on what tradeoffs you're willing to make. We'll keep praying. I know all about the worrying, the "what ifs," the disaster and worse-case scenarios. Here's a verse that helps me: "Let the day's trouble be sufficient unto the day." We only live one day at a time, not a year into the future. Just focus on what you need to do today and let God worry about tomorrow. That's what I'm trying to do.

I'm trying to figure some of this stuff out right now -- not in terms of moving, which isn't an option due to DH's job, but in terms of what kinds of jobs to look for. I'm going to put in an application at University of Michigan as a development writer, which is something I did for Univ. of Pennsylvania in the past and enjoyed. But it's really a step back in an old direction for me, and I don't think it'll make me more marketable in the way that all my tech work has done. (And the pay is nowhere near as good.) But they have a position open, and there are no usability jobs open in this area right now. So on it goes.

As for eating --- blecchh! Not doing too well the past couple of days. I'm finishing up TOM, which I hope will help, and after that I'll weigh myself. Pants are snug right now. When I'm REALLY stressed (like worrying about DH's test results), I undereat. But when I'm SOMEWHAT stressed (like now), then watch out! Today I'm going to at least write it down again; haven't done that in a couple of days, which is always a recipe for disaster.

It's rainy and cool here, so not much in the way of holiday outdoor fun. That's OK; I need to finish up my job applications and get my writing samples in order. Hope you all have a marvelous rest of the weekend.

--Lauren

Hi! My Memorial Day weekend was great. I was off from Thursday through Monday. My kids came to visit and we were busy the whole time. I'm pooped! What did I do when they all lived here? Anyway it was great. I tried to stay OP and made lots of good choices. However, I need to make *all* good choices and I didn't do that. So--here I am today, back OP and doing it all over again. I didn't get on the scale this morning, but I had gotten on it a couple of days ago and was up many pounds. Hopefully much of that was fluid retention because of salt, etc. I need to keep this continuous so that I don't throw away my losses each month by behavior that could be controlled. Out of the blue I didn't get on the treadmill. Now, of course I didn't want to wake them up by getting on the treadmill, etc. All good reasons that start to sound like excuses. So, tonight I'll get on that machine and enjoy it because I feel great when I exercise.
I hope you are all doing better with all the worries you have. There have been times when my food intake was all I could control, and so I did that. Somehow having food under control helped me get through very stressful situatios. I am sending good vibes to everyone and have included you in my morning prayers.
Take it easy and let's all try taking these days one step at a time.

Judy
234/?+/thinner

Hi, Turtle Buddies,

I tried to post yesterday, but the "new reply" button wasn't showing up on the screen.

Judy, I'm glad you're back OP. I found it a bit odd that your friends made a point of calling you and telling you they're not OP anymore. Were they expecting you to serve different food than you otherwise would have? Well, I'm glad you got through that OK.

Lauren, thanks for all of your continuing support. I agree that climate is a minor issue here. But getting Chris graduated from high school is not. So, unless Paul cannot find a job before the money runs out and we become homeless, we won't be looking in other parts of the country right now.

I thank you for the quote. It's a reminder I needed to hear. It's something that I am able to do, sometimes. It's really hard at other times, especially when I have to spend some of our small cash hoard. I'm working on it.

Good luck with that job you're applying for. Even if it's not what you really want, you can keep your eyes on the market and jump to send your resume out again when a job in your field opens up. Nowadays, no one thinks twice about people leaving jobs after a short time, especially for a job in their field for more money.

I haven't heard anything about the job they sent my resume off to last week. She said she'd call either way, but I think if they wanted to set up an interview they'd get back to me sooner rather than later. I'll let you know if I'm wrong.

I've also not been doing well with regard to food. However, I've been getting in plenty of exercise.

I want to work toward getting back OP. So, I worked through the booklets that came with Winning Points. They are a lot more helpful than the ones I got with 123 Success. They have techniques to help with the stuff that comes up. Some of it is more helpful than other parts, but maybe that's because I needed some of that information more right now.

For example, the booklets called "Meal Time" and "The Right Mix" surprised me. I answered the questions and discovered that there are physical reasons why I need to eat the way I do. Some of the recommendations are things I've been doing, like eating mini meals and a higher carb to protein ratio. Other things were things I'd done without really thinking of it as a part of the program, like not eating carbs alone as a snack (combining them with protein or protein and a bit of fat) or having sweets or alcohol unless it is with a meal. Also, I should choose at least 50% of my carbs from the complex category. What's interesting is that I feel healthier and have more energy if I eat that way.

My point is that I keep reading posts from people who ask, for example, if they should eat high protein to lose weight (usually "faster" is added to that query, but we turtles don't worry about that). And I've never seen anyone suggest that the person posting do the quizzes in the book to find out what their particular body needs. I think we often focus on the booklets having to do with how to do points and what we can eat and maybe the activity booklet, but we ignore the rest. Somehow, we seem to think that they aren't as important. Yet, if you look at what we're foucsing on, those are booklets that focus on the information traditional to every diet.

That is just one example of the types of posts that came to mind as I worked through the booklets. It seems to me that we can broaden our horizons and create a lifestyle by using all of the tools WW gives us. After working through those tools, I see that I can use them to reach my goal because they can help me get through this time of stress without making choices that take me down a road I don't want to travel. So, I'm breaking that information into baby steps to work on. It may take some time, but I think it will be worth the effort.

I'll keep you posted about how it goes.

Happy turtlin'! :)

Lin

Dear Everybody,
My goodness. So much is going on. I love the Slo turtles reaction to stress and know that beating ourselves up gets us nowhere. Guilt just makes me eat more, so I am slowly trying to add back the exercise. I also have to concentrate on less salty foods. Saw that V-8 with calcium has 20% of the sodium I need in a day. That's too high to make sense for me right now. I'll get calcium from Caltrate and skim milk, and buy the low sodium V-8.
I honestly think my friends mentioned they were off program because they wanted more fattening things to eat. Not a great thing to do. The weekend was too long for me and I have to get closer to program again.
I'm trying every day. I also have to figure out why I allow myself to go off program when I am satisfied with being OP.
You are all in my morning prayers. I am hesitating to offer advice because you have such complicated situations. You have my best vibes and prayers and I hope for successful solutions to your problems very soon.
In the meantime, I am hoping that we can all stay as close to OP as possible in our varying circumstances and do the best we can. I think Lin mentioned that 200# is just another number and I need to remember that. I sure undid a lot of good work and that's a miserable feeling. I'm working on it again and hope to be more optimistic shortly.
Love and good vibes,
Judy

234/?/thinner

Hi, Turtles,

Judy, your posts are always so upbeat. I really enjoy reading them.

I know what you mean about salt. It's weird that in the past year or so I've started to crave salt during PMS. I never used to do that. But, I also have found that it's only for a day or two, so I'm not too worried. It's either that or chocolate! :lol:

How about the next time you have your friends over, should they call you with the same useless information, try saying something like, "Thank you for the information. I've already planned my menu and I'm sure you'll enjoy the food." Then make low fat food that doesn't eat like low fat food. I have recipes and will email some to you, if you want. Just tell me what kind of food you want to cook. I have everything from simple stuff like spaghetti and meatballs to creme brulee (4 points per serving).

One other thing that you might consider when thinking about how best to do this and what success is. What is your definition of being OP? Do you consider yourself off program if you eat certain foods? If you go over points? If you don't drink the water? If you don't exercise? What things do you think of as being off program? The reason I ask is that I've read a lot of posts from people who are eating within their range, drinking the water, exercising, and journaling, but say they're off program because they ate a specific food. Or they didn't exercise as much as they "should". Or they only drank 6 glasses of water instead of 8 or 12 or whatever. I guess what I'm wondering is whether you're beating yourself up over "rules" gleaned from previous "diets" (even old WW programs) rather than focusing on the specifics of this program. There is a lot less guilt built into this program and I think that's a good thing.

I'm a believer in avoiding undeserved guilt because guilt also causes problems for me. When I feel guilty, I find it much more difficult to get back OP. That's one issue I'm dealing with right now because there's guilt in stress eating. I know that eating out of stress doesn't fix the stress and it doesn't move this turtle closer to her goal. But I find myself doing it anyway. Not in huge, binge amounts. Just eating larger portions and not getting in all of the fruits and veggies. Then I feel guilty because I know it's not helping. I start to avoid counting points and journaling because when I look at the paper and it has too many points or too few fruits or whatever, I feel guilty. That's so illogical! But, as Jillian said in Star Trek IV, "Who ever said humans were logical?"

So, I'm doing baby steps. I've got the water back to my normal amount. The next step for me will be to get in the vitamin and calcium in food and supplements. That seems to help keep my emotions on a more even keel as far as the monthly hormones goes. If I can do that, it will be easier to add back journaling, etc. But, I'm doing what I can right now.

BTW--200# is just another number, but I want to see it, too. I also want to see the door of Lane Bryant close behind me as I am able to buy clothes in regular stores. I know that I will get there as long as I don't give up and I keep doing those baby steps.

A quick update on my stressful life-- I haven't heard anything about my brother's biopsy. I'm going to call my mother today and see if she's heard anything. Paul is rewriting his resume after taking a workshop yesterday. His company is paying for one month's worth of workshops, etc. from a consulting service. I'm working with him, mainly in an editorial capacity. He's terrible with grammar, spelling, etc. Then he's going to send it everywhere he can and post it on the job boards, especially the technical ones. I never heard anything about the admin job, so we'll see if they come up with anything else. It's slow right now so people aren't hiring temps much. I got the information from the CIA in New York. If I can get scholarship money and six months work in a kitchen doing food prep, I'll go for my bachelor's degree. (It doesn't have to be in a restaurant. It can be in a soup kitchen cooking for the homeless, which I'd really like to do. The only thing it can't be is in a fast food environment.) But, I'm not doing anything about that until I find out where Paul will be working. I don't want to get a job and have to leave after a few weeks because we have to move or something. Meantime, I'm doing what I can to stretch our money and keep things together around here. And doing some writing for the sake of my sanity.


Happy Turtlin'! :D

Lin

Good Morning, Turtles,

I hope everyone's weekend was great.

Things are going OK for me. I only gained 2 pounds since the last time I weighed myself and it's PMS, so it's probably water.

I've been successfully doing baby steps at least part of the time. It's helping me to feel a little more in control, but I doubt I'll get totally OP before my husband finds a new job. I go up and down with this problem. For a while, I'll be as accepting as I can be, since I can't do much about it. Then a wave of depression hits and my eating gets weird. The interesting thing is that I'm eating mostly healthy food and sticking to a lot of the habits I've built over the years. So, I guess a lot of the key to succeeding is hanging in there long enough to build habits that take over when your mind can't cope.

I still have a lot more habits to build, but I do see that I've been successful in a lot of ways as time has passed. I choose to eat more fruits and veggies. I choose to eat more complex carbohydrates and less refined carbs. I drink all of the water every day. And I'm managing to maintain the weight loss I've achieved. (During PMS I don't consider 2 pounds a real gain because I know that it's water retention.)

My next step is to do as much as I can to stay OP as much as possible during this stressed out time. Yesterday I wrote my day down on paper. I'm redoing my record-keeping materials. I periodically change the way I keep reccords because it's a signal to my brain that I'm beginning again and what I did in the past is over.

Things haven't changed with regard to my stresses. They still haven't scheduled that biopsy for my brother, which seems strange, but my mom said she'd keep me posted. Other than that, Paul's resume will be posted and sent to a bunch of companies today. Then we wait and send out more tomorrow. Everything esle is still the same.

Happy turtlin'! ;)

Lin

First, Lin, I MUST have that 4-point recipe for creme brulee! My favorite dessert! I found one in Cooking Light, but it has powdered milk in it, which I loathe. Haven't tried it yet.

And a HUGE congratulations on gaining only two water pounds during this stressful time. What an accomplishment. I hope you're keeping your posts so you can refer back to them in the future and see just how much incredible progress you've made. I'm really impressed with how you're handling all this.

I'm eating the junk that you're not, unfortunately. Not all the time, and I'm not bingeing, but I'm definitely eating too much, and not all of it is healthy. I'll write things down for a couple of days, and then I stop. Part of the problem is having company over (friends and family will be here for the next couple of weeks); part is stress related to layoffs (I'm still employed, by the way; dodged the fourth layoff of the year). If I finally do get on a billable project, there will be stress associated with that, too.

The thing is, there will ALWAYS be stress in life. It's not going away. So how do we change how we cope with stress into something more healthful and helpful?

The main thing I'm continuing to do is exercise a minimum of three times a week. This week I play to go for five times. Last week all I could manage was three. I'm hoping this will at least minimize the damage.

So that's my news. I'm going to get out my journal and write it down again today -- argh. It's so tough when you know you're eating too much. I hate seeing it in black and white! So of course I don't write it down, which is denial at its best. How silly we are!

--Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

Lauren, first, congratulations on dodging the bullet yet again. Maybe things will pick up and your company will stop having layoffs and you'll get back to doing the job you like to do.

I laughed when I got to the end of your post because I do exactly the same thing! I don't write it down and it is the ultimate denial. Sometimes I feel as if it's like the old dieter's jokes about when calories don't count--as in--the points don't count when--you don't write them down or you're only eating the crumbs on the plate, etc. You've heard them all, I'm sure. But we all know that reality is that they DO count, even if we're in denial and not paying attention.

You're absolutely right about stress always being a part of our lives. And that we need alternate methods of coping. The standard advice about stress eating is to stop eating and do something about the problem that's causing the stress. But what do we do when the stress is over things in our lives that are out of our control? When we can't solve the problem because the solutions are controlled by other people's choices and decisions? Those are the times when I tend to overeat. And my life is filled with those stresses right now.

So, I'm continuing to do what I can each day. And I appreciate your support.

Re: the creme brulee recipe. It's my favorite dessert, too.

I also loathe powdered milk, so you won't find any in my recipes. I often revise Cooking Light's recipes to get rid of food products that I can't stand.

I'm not quite happy with the result of my last revision. I finally got the amount of sugar right, but the custard still tastes a little too eggy. I only can make it a couple of times a month or my family rebels and demands CHOCOLATE! They're all chocoholics and I'd never get anything but chocolate or apple pie for dessert if they had their way. :lol: I'm planning to try another revision this week. I'll let you know how it turns out and when I'm happy with it, I'll post the recipe.

I watched a cooking show today where the chef made a traditional creme brulee out of 8 egg yolks and 1 liter of cream. That's a ton more than 4 points per serving, especially since his serving size was a lot more than the 1/2 cup in my recipe. I'm feeling pretty good that I got the points down as low as 4 per serving without sacrificing flavor or texture.

I also had a great thought--you know, the creme brulee and fruit could be a great breakfast, since the custard is basically baked eggs and milk with some flavoring and sweeteners. ;) A little granola for crunch would be good, too.

Happy turtlin'! :D

Lin

Hi! Very busy times, but before I go any further, please send me your creme brulee recipe for 4 points. I'm staying as close to program as possible, and still can't figure out why I go off program as often as I do. I'm getting annoyed at myself and think the next step is to look into reasons why I am doing this to myself. Yes, I like food, and yes, I like to eat---but when I am successful it's almost as though I don't feel I deserve to be successful and I sabotage myself. Not a good feeling. Lots of stress and turmoil here, but I'm doing my best to hang on.
Good luck to all of you with health and job searches and staying OP. I know we can do this!
Judy
234/?thinner

Okay, I don't know what just happened, I tried to scroll down and I went back two screens and lost all that I had already written. Bummer! Guess I've got to get used to this new board.

Lin, it sounds like life is hailing down on you. Good for you for still managing to at least project a positive attitude. But then, that's the Lin I know. My good thoughts are with you.

Lauren, uncertainty at work is the worst. I know how shaky it is for you, but you've got all of us behind you, pulling for you.

Merri, Vee, Judy, hi! I used to post here until life got on top of me. But I'm back now, watch out! :dizzy:

It's been about 4 months since the wedding, and a great deal has happened and changed. I've passed my first semester back at college! Finals were killer, but I did manage to pass. I'm in summer school right now, to try to finish sooner. Through "restructuring" at work I'm now Senior Trainer, which means everyone comes to me with questions, problems, comments...I've only been there 6 months, and this is my first job as a trainer, so I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, but hopefully I can keep my feet under me with my inate good sense! (Yeah, right. I'll be drowning tomorrow!) :lol:

We've decided to stay in this apartment for now rather than trying to move again. I have moved 4 times in the last 3 years, and with school and work and everything I don't think I could do it again. So we're a fair distance from friends and family, but we've decided to stay put for now. DH is still looking for work, having gotten his authorization to work in this country (he's British) right at the time that this city went into IT Recession. As he is a web designer/programmer, there are a lot of people competing for very few jobs right now. They all came out here with dreams of big money jobs. Just any job would be okay, right now!

I have started/tried several different sports and hobbies, and I'm having a wonderful time exploring them all. I love bowling! DH will tolerate it, but I love it. I've also gotten back to doing yoga twice a week. The first day my shoulders and back were very very very VERY sore, but I'm okay now. I've also tried Tai Chi, which I enjoy. I dug my rollerblades out of storage and DH and I have been going down to the Bay in the afternoons. He flies stunt kites (I do too, sometimes, yet another new hobby) and I blade up and down the Bay. We've found information on an event called Midnight Madness, a 20 mile bike ride through downtown San Diego at midnight. So we're getting our bikes souped up for that, too. I am planning on taking a beginning ballet class in the fall semester. I would take rock climbing, too, but it conflicts with the one class I absolutely must have. So, no go. DH bought me a lovely keyboard for my birthday, so I'm slowly filling a lifelong dream of learning to play the piano. We've also gotten yearlong passes to the San Diego Wild Animal Park, the San Diego Zoo, and SeaWorld. All in all, life is very very full!

I have found a new WW leader that I love, and am back going to meetings again. My weight got away from me and I regained quite a bit, but not all. I managed to stop it, and found a new meeting, and am back OP. With all my activity it's really hard to gauge how much is enough, and how many activity points I need, and if I'm starving myself, and all of that. In addition to my sports and things I do a 1-hour workout in the mornings, before I go to classes. I do a combination of cardio and weight work. So even before you add in the classes and sports and hobbies, I'm getting 5 hours of formal exercise a week. My weight loss has been stalled, so far. I have been within points, and stalled. Above points, and stalled. I refuse to go below points. Totally off points, and stalled. NOTHING seems to be able to get me going! But, with the help of my wonderful new leader I hope something will finally give.

Anyway, now that I've babbled up a storm, I'm back!

:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

MOUSIE!!!! :D It's so good to see you again! Sounds like you're having quite a busy time; wow. All those activities must be building muscle; have you taken your measurements? That's probably a big part of why the scale isn't moving. I can't imagine that going below your points would work. Do you count your exercise points?

Anyway, lovely to have you back, and here's hoping your husband finds something soon. (Does it still sound funny when people call him "your husband"? :) )

Lin, I'll look forward to the creme brulee recipe. Yes, I can imagine you'd probably loathe powdered milk even more than I do with those sensitive tastebuds of yours. Hey, what about chocolate creme brulee? :)

Judy, that's quite an insight you've had -- about feeling like you don't deserve to be successful. Where do you think that comes from? Did someone important in your life make you think that way years ago?

When I first met my husband, he had a feeling that whenever things were going really well, something terrible had to be about to happen. The better things went, the more he worried. He didn't know where that came from. Then one day I went with him to his mother's church, and I couldn't believe the sermon. The minister talked about the lovely snow outside, the beautiful snowfall we'd had that morning -- and then proceeded to say "But what if it had turned into a blizzard? What if you had been caught in that blizzard, and you were lost and you DIED?" He then went on to talk about the importance of having your life where it ought to be at all times. It hit me that my husband had been hearing sermons like this all this life, so of COURSE he was expecting terrible things to happen at any moment.

Once he saw the connection, he stopped getting so worried. Now it rarely comes up.

Anyway, whenever you're feeling like you don't deserve success in this area of your life, why not stand in front of a mirror and say affirming things to yourself? It sounds silly, but it can be powerful in unexpected ways. "You are beautiful, inside and out. You are worth it. You are precious."

Good for you for hanging in there.

As for me, I finally got on the scales. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought -- I'm up a total of 3 pounds since before vacation. But for me, 3 pounds takes a month to get back off. My goal right now is to maintain while my mom is here, and then start fresh. Maybe I'll order the "at home" program like Lin did. I need to make a line in the sand and start anew.

--Lauren

Mousie, I remember you and your upcoming wedding! So good to have you back==and active too. Weigh to go.
Lauren, thanks for the input about deserving to lose weight, etc. The only thing I can figure is that we moved a lot when I was a kid and I was always trying to fit in, in another place. Always felt like an outsider. But that doesn't fit in with not deserving to lose weight. I'll be on a vacation again soon and I want to do some deep thinking about this. I really can't let family worries stymie my weight loss any more. Rough things happen in life, but that's not a reason to go off program.
For all of you, take care, I admire you terrifically with your success in working through problems.
Lin, hope things start to look up soon. You must be so happy to be up such a tiny bit of weight.
Keep on turtlin', everyone
Judy
234/?/thinner

Hi, Turtles,

I tried to post yesterday, but the computer was being flaky and it closed down the browser in the middle of my post.

Mousie, It's so good to have you back. Boy, have you been busy since we last heard from you. I'm so glad things are going so well. It's interesting that you're maintaining your weight no matter what you do. There are threads posted here and on Dotti's site devoted to breaking plateaus. I can't remember where, so I can't put a link. Anyway, there are a bunch of good suggestions you might try. Also, WW has a booklet devoted to that problem that may help. Ask your leader about it, if you don't have it.

Judy, this morning I was thinking the same thing about not letting problems keep me from losing more weight. I know that whether or not I stay OP will have no effect on fixing any of the problems or reducing the stresses in my life.

I've talked about this before, but one of the hardest weight management skills to learn is how to keep weight loss efforts in perspective. We keep mixing up our efforts to stay OP with other things in our lives that are actually not really connected with our efforts to lose weight. But if we are to succeed, we need to separate staying OP from dealing with the rest of our lives.

We need to treat staying OP the same way we treat our jobs, for example. When we are under extreme stress, we somehow manage to do our jobs because we don't want to get fired. We take time off for funerals, weddings, and other important occasions, including vacations. But basically, we do our jobs, no matter what. What would happen if we treated staying OP the same way? Stay OP, only making the same kind of extreme exceptions we make for time off of our jobs. We'd become consistent and being OP would be the normal way we live each day, just as our work is the normal way we spend our time.

The main reason we don't do that is that we don't have quite the same level of negative consequences of not staying OP as we do if we don't do our jobs. Somehow, we have to find a motivation that is a strong for us as being fired for not doing our job would be.

Also, it takes a lot of energy and some time to learn any new skill, including weight loss skills. That's one reason we find it hard to keep practicing those new skills when we get stressed. It feels overwhelming.

Another thing is that old habits are more comfortable and we feel more secure when we do what's comfortable if we're under stress. Unless the new skills become our old habits, they can't fulfill that function. We need to find something other than returning to our old habits to do when major stress hits. I don't have any answers, but I feel better having a direction to go to search for my answers.

Lauren, your life-affirming suggestion is really good. Affirmations always make me feel silly when I do them, but I've found that if I keep doing them, I eventually start believing them and then I start acting differently. I do believe that words are very powerful. And what we tell ourselves is crucial to how we act. Too bad we live in a culture that thinks it's a moral virtue to belittle yourself so you don't sound arrogant or boastful.

Re: the Creme Brulee recipe--I do have a chocolate recipe and I'll post it in a separate post to make it easier to copy.

I wish I could tell you good news. But things are mostly the same. DH's resume is out there and we send it out every day when we find new listings for jobs in his area of expertise. My borther got really bad news. His cancer was apparently caused by asbestos poisoning from his long-time work as an auto mechanic. (Plus smoking.) It's one of the worst kinds and is incurable. It doesn't respond to radiation or chemo. They can operate to remove the two tumors he has and monitor him, but they're not very hopeful that he'll live to see 50. If the PET scan shows more tumors, they're not even going to try operating, and he has 6 months to a year. He says that he'll find someone else to do the surgery, if his current doctors won't. I hope that somehow things work out so he does beat it, as he says he will. He's only 44 years old. Keep praying, please.

My WW baby step for today is to put together a new notebook to start over. I was keeping my records on the computer, but I realized that I can't be as successful with that method for two reasons. The first is that when my computer developed a glitch, I lost about two months worth of journals and menus because the software decided the file didn't exist anymore and refused to open it. I want more reliable records. And, I found that I'd end up writing it on paper anyway so that I didn't have to kick someone else off the computer in order to type the info in before I forgot what I ate or how many points it was. Using the computer works best for me if no one else is home--a rare thing these days.

Anyway, rather than resurrecting my old notebook, I'm doing a new one, starting from scratch. I need the new beginning.

Happy turtlin'! :D

Lin

Wow, Lin, I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. I never heard that being a car mechanic involved increased exposure to asbestos. Do you know where the asbestos is? Yes, we will pray for him.

The first year that I lived in the Philippines, I lived in a building that was made entirely out of asbestos. I slept with my face pressed up against an asbestos wall. I keep hoping that won't come back to haunt me.

--Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

Here's the recipe and a couple of notes about how to get the best result.

Dark Chocolate Creme Brulee

Recipe By : Linda Sprinkle © 2001
Serves : 12
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 1/2 cups evaporated skim milk
1 cup skim milk
1/3 cup Creme Fraiche
7 ounces bittersweet chocolate
3 large eggs
3 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Oven: 300 º F

1. Break chocolate into small pieces. Place in a large bowl. (Stainless steel works best, if you have one.)
2. Mix eggs, egg yolks, sugar, and vanilla in a small bowl.
3. Combine evaporated skim milk, skim milk, and creme fraiche in a saucepan. Heat until bubbles start to form around the edges. Pour over chocolate. Let sit for 5 minutes. Stir until smooth.
4. Pour a little of the chocolate mixture into the egg mixture to temper it. Then slowly add the egg mixture to the chocolate mixture, stirring until well combined.
5. Strain mixture through a fine strainer into a large measuring cup. Divide evenly among 12 ramekins (or ovenproof custard cups). Each serving is approximately 1/2 cup.
6. Set ramekins into a deep baking pan. Fill pan halfway up the sides of the ramekins with water. Be careful not to put too much water or it splashes into the custards.
7. Bake for about an hour. (The lowfat custard filling takes longer to bake than the egg yolk-pure cream traditional custards.)
8. Remove from oven when the edges are set and the middle barely jiggles when you shake it gently. Leave in the water bath to cool until cool enough to remove by hand.

They can be eaten warm, at room temperature, or chilled for at least two hours. The lowfat custards are a little better chilled because they set more in the fridge.

For a pretty presentation, dust the top with powdered sugar or cocoa powder or make creme brulee by caramalizing sugar on the top with a mini torch.

NOTES : Serving size: 1 ramekin (1/2 cup) Equals: 4 points (Point calculation used nutritional info provided in MasterCook software and input into the electronic point calculator I got with the 123 At Home program.)

Additional notes:
Sprinkle about a teaspoon of sugar on the top and caramelize it to make a traditional creme brulee presentation. Originally, the sugar was caramelized by putting it in a salamander, a super hot broiler that restaurant kitchens have. It's hotter than the broiler in your stove, so it caramelized the sugar before the custard melted. You can use the broiler. Watch it carefully and chill the custards for a few minutes after you caramelize the sugar.

If you use a mini torch, you can serve it right away. Williams-Sonoma sells a torch for about $35.00. You can also use it to brown the top of a meringue pie. There are other catalogs and online sites that sell tiny torches. I've also seen them in hardware stores. It's the easiest way to do this, and worth the money to get the best result.

Re: Creme Fraiche--The technique of using a tiny bit (1/2-1 teaspoon per serving) is one I developed when I was trying to figure out a way to keep nonfat dairy products from curdling in a sauce. I discovered that another benefit of using it is that it adds that creamy texture that's missing in foods made with nonfat dairy products. I tried it in a custard and was very pleased to discover that my custard had that super creamy texture that I thought you couldn't get without loading it with cream and egg yolks.

If you leave it out, it doesn't change the point count because the amount per serving is so small. But, it is 100% saturated fat, being made from heavy cream, so if that's a health issue, substitute more skim milk. You may need to bake it a bit longer.

If you cannot find Creme Fraiche, you can make it. Take 1 cup of heavy cream and add 2 tablespoons of buttermilk. Let it sit on the counter for 24-36 hours to thicken. I found that buttermilk powder (It's usually in the section where they sell baking supplies.) caused the cream to thicken better than liquid buttermilk, with the added benefit of not having almost 2 cups of buttermilk to use up, since 1 pint is the smallest amount the stores here sell.

Last--you need to use bittersweet chocolate, not unsweetened. You can substitute semisweet, but not milk chocolate. The ingredients make a huge difference. Use the best quality chocolate you can find (afford). Look especially for chocolate that has real vanilla, not artificial. And few unpronouncable chemicals. Those things do make a difference in how it tastes.

Let me know how you like it. If you have any problems, email me and I'll try to help.

Enjoy!

Lin

Lin, I'm SO sorry to hear about your brother. I would be crushed if anything happened to my brother, I can't imagine everything you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you.

Your observation about WW being like work is a good thought. For me, now, WW IS like work--I need to get ahold of my weight and bring it down to gain credibility at work. We always think (I do, anyway) that how we treat ourselves is negotiable. How we treat others is not--must be polite, must be thoughtful, must be conscientious, must be considerate--but we don't preserve those attitudes for ourselves. I'm trying to treat myself well, now, and be considerate of myself. I don't think I could continue with my schedule/lifestyle right now and be as hard on myself as I have been in the past. I feel guilty sometimes when I think about all the time slots I have where I could put things--learning something new, cleaning the apartment, studying, that sort of thing--but I'm working on accepting that I'm about at my mental juggling limit, and that's okay.

Judy, I'm flattered that you remember me!

Lauren, crossed fingers and knock on WOOD (blessed stuff) that it doesn't come back to haunt you.

I "invented" a completely yummy soup for dinner tonight (I love soup). It was so yummy that I just ate two bowls of that, and none of the mini calzones that I had made! It's like a thick minestrone, and is very good if I do flatter myself. DH fell asleep in the middle of dinner (we don't have a dining room table yet, so we eat at the big living room table, sitting on the floor) curled up on the couch, so I just ate his bowl too. :smug:

I'm pushing bedtime right now, and as I have to work in the morning I'd best be off. :yawn:

Mousie: I love the yoda quote. And Yoda's sooooo right. A priest said pretty much the same thing to me a long time ago--trying is not a commitment and if you just "try" to do something you won't. Just do it!
Have fun with all those sports activities. They sound great.
Lin: I was worried about your brother. What an awful thing to happen. You're all in my prayers. He's smart to seek a second opinion. Can he get to a university hospital? Sometimes their research doctors have protocols that aren't used in the general medical field and someone may be able to help him. God bless him and you all.
You and I are on the same wave length with this OP and interferences. I liked the way you compared it to having to get to work, etc. I need to make this a top priority. So often I eat just to eat. Right now I'm letting myself down by not having the energy to get the right groceries in the house, eating out too often, and not making the best choices. I'm a teacher and in two short weeks I'll be on my summer vacation. I keep thinking everything will be so much better then because I'll have the time to do everything right. Well, I can do a lot of damage in two weeks on top of the weeks I haven't been able to pull this together. Really since the new year, I've been struggling and not doing the best for myself. I keep losing my resolve. Now I have to say it's back and I'll keep it.
Lauren: Let's just hope the asbestos you are concerned about was imbedded in the wall. As far as I know, the asbestos problems to be worried about are when it crumbles and is in the air as dust to be inhaled. You weren't working with it or disturbing it, so try to let those miserable thoughts go. I am so glad you escaped another firing time. These are tough times following very good times. Last year two of my brothers in law lost their jobs. It's kind of all around us.
Veep and Annie and everyone else:
Good luck in your weight loss journey.
I'm going to do this day by day.
Judy

234/?/thinner:cool:

Lin or Lauren,
I forget which one of you mentioned another good site where we might be able to meet if 3fatchicks isn't able to continue operating. Would you mind mentioning them again, because this time I will print it out.
I just read Suzanne's comment. Last month I sent them $10 but it looks like financial woes are closing in. I'd hate to lose touch with you gals. I am also hoping for a miracle for this site because I love what the sisters have started and accomplished.
Love,
Judy:(

Lin, THANK YOU! I have already mentioned that I liked your thought about putting being OP in perspective, and thinking of it as a non-negotiable thing. Well, for some reason, that REALLY clicked with me! It's been so easy the last couple of days to stay OP, and I've been perfect (if I do say so myself). I've had all my water (never a struggle but still), all my veggies, been within points, gotten calcium and vitamins in, and gotten exercise (also never a struggle but nice to add to the list!). It gave me such a resounding *CLICK*, thank you soooo much!

Lin and Mousie,
Yep, you're right. Why would I let the most important thing in my life (losing weight and gaining fitness) be treated as inconsequential or something I don't have to do when it should be right at the top of the list!
From now on, WW and OP will be my primary job and I'm very good at work, so this should keep me on track.
Good vibes to you all,
Judy

234/?/thinner:wave:

Hi, Turtles,

We're getting long. Time for number 29. See you there.

Happy turtlin'.

Lin