I was writing in the journal, and I am just so blah. Its only my 4th day, I should not have lost my motivation yet, but this is how I am. I just feel like the little changes arent enough and that i waited too long to do anything. I am just too overweight,. I cant even drive my car anymore ( wow, I shouldnt have admitted that in public) :-( I would take a pic with my digital camera but i just cant bring myself to do it. Sorry, I am being such a drag :?:
08-15-2004, 03:05 AM
Awww I'm sorry you're feeling down!
It is really overwhelming to look at yourself and see that you have a long journey ahead of you - but its going to have ups and downs. Make small changes, do little things. The world wasn't built in a day (sorry to use an old cliche).
08-15-2004, 03:36 AM
Sometimes it's easy to lose your motivation when you feel you have a long way to go (I know this all too well, also, I want to be skinny, NOW, none of this taking a year or 2 to lose weight!), just keep going! The smallest changes can net you some weight loss, drink water! Also, don't look in mirrors, sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think "whats the point, I'm just TOO fat", so I avoid it at all costs! I have been cutting back on drinking soft drinks, and have lost 8 pounds from it, and I haven't stopped completely. It was my major addiction, do you have one? Can you cut back on a certain food or beverage? And last but not least, forget taking it one day at a time, take it one MEAL at a time! You *can* do it! :)
08-15-2004, 04:34 AM
Thanks for the encouragement, if it werent for this site, i might have given up already. I dont look in mirrors either but I just *feel* fat, I feel like I cant do anything anymore:-(
As for beverages and stuff i can cut out: So far I have cut out soda (its water or 2% milk now). If i crave soda, i just take a drink out of hubby's glass,..LOl and then go on with my water. I have switched from white bread to wheat, from regular bologna to low fat, from regular cheese to 2%. I usually have one or 2 bad small snacks a day, but it is alot better than I usually did. Like today I had a nutty bar :devil: I have eaten at least one banana each day for the least 4 days, ive eaten an apple a day, the last 2 days, ive been eating low fat yogurt, etc. I just cannot get myself to drag out that leslie sansone video. I can only do 5 minutes of it and it is supposed to be super easy. i cant even walk down the hall without being winded. See what I mean about it being too little too late?
As you can see, I added this pic i took of myself,..of course it *is* almost 330am here, but I look awful! This is the first pic i have of myself in years and wow, I look bad:-(
08-15-2004, 06:27 AM
You are making the right kinds of choices that will help you lose weight, congrats on that! Infact, thats so good I might have to do a little dance for you, because I don't even have the guts to make that many changes at once! I encourage you to keep going, give yourself at least 2 weeks on plan to see any significant results. Try and find evil, GOOD snacks, like slim fast makes these snack bars that taste pretty darn yummy! Even Atkins little peanut butter cups (has no sugar, and sugar is evil with weight loss), and they taste pretty good too. If you are getting about 5 servings of veggies/ fruit a day the rest should fall into place. :) As for exercise, you don't need to go all out, just get your heart rate going for at least 10 minutes 3 times per day, if could be walking in place, doing an exercise video, or walking down your hall. Don't over do it, just get your heart going! Keep us posted on how you are doing, and don't quit, you will thank yourself for sticking thru the hard times later. :) You are strong, and you *can* do it!! :)
08-15-2004, 06:28 AM
and btw, very few people look good at 3:30am, it's only 2:30 am here and I don't even recognize myself... lol
08-15-2004, 06:28 AM
Hey hon. I just got done reading your post. *hugs* I know how you feel all too well, and if you notice, you are alot braver than I am, I've still not posted a pic of myself. We both seem to have a long way to go, and if you would like a buddy along the way, I'd love to help. Maybe helping each other will help ourselfs. You mentioned that it might be too late to do something......well its not, so dont even get in that mind set! Its never too late to start taking care of yourself. And you are on the right track. The changes you have made are wonderful! PM me anytime you'd like. I hope today is better for you.
08-15-2004, 10:26 AM
Heather, I just wanted to say please, please don't ever give up. I've been where you are, and I know it may seem like it's too late, but it's not! Think about it this way; if you give up now things will never change. Walking down the hall or driving your car will not get any easier. But if you keep trying, and don't give up on yourself, things can only get better. Please don't wake up a year (or 5 or 10) from now wishing you had done something about your weight today. I promise it can be done but the choice to do it is yours. Good luck and we're here for you when you need us.
08-15-2004, 10:40 AM
Heather - please don't quit. As I read through the list of changes you've made, I thought it was quite a lot. Just try to stay with those for a week or two. Then gradually add more as you feel up to it. Keep health as your goal and remember that those changes you've already made will be improving your health.
When I started out two years ago, I was very reluctant and not super motivated to lose. I knew if I started trying to eat at 1200 calories or so, it wouldn't last (track record to prove it). So I just started making some health changes (and I didn't tell anyone for fear I'd fail). The biggest of which, for me, was drinking water. I started here with a water challenge and it made such a difference. Then I started walking. Then I thought, hmmm, I weigh 250 lbs and it takes 2500 calories just to sustain that weight. Maybe if I can stay around 2100 calories (a lot of calories to call a "diet") and eat more towards healthy choices, it will EVENTUALLY take off a few pounds. I also allowed myself occasional days 'offplan'. Well, almost despite myself I lost 40 pounds the first year although I did pick up motivation as I saw some changes occur.
It's only been about 10 more pounds the second year though of course I've had to drop that 2100 calorie goal back to 1800 and then 1500 (which I almost never make). It is time for a rededication for me but I still feel I'm much more healthy weighing 50 pounds less than if I had not started at all. Healthier because I'm 50 lbs less but also because I'm doing at least moderate exercises and because what I do take in is on the whole (but surely not always) a more healthy choice than before.
So, applaud you (as we do) for the four days. Think of a small non-food reward for making it a week. Then reward yourself again at the end of the second week. Or each day. Then think of the reward of being able to drive again. There was a "reward" thread at one point where people listed little (and big) things they planned as non-food rewards and I thought that was very encouraging. My rewards weren't big - sometimes just five minutes alone - or things I probably would have done anyway - like buying flowers for the garden or hugging my grandbabies - but I thought of it as a reward.
Anyway, post, please don't quit.........you owe yourself more than that! (And I won't quit either though it is still a very tempting thought sometimes.)
08-15-2004, 11:22 AM
Heather, don't quit. And don't quit looking in the mirror, either. Part of this journey is learning to love ourselves. You say your picture looks "awful." Well, I don't agree. I see a girl with flawless skin and light in her eyes (yes, even at 3:30 a.m.!). Part of the journey is realizing that you DESERVE to be healthy. You need to look yourself in the eyes every single day and tell yourself that you are worth it!
I am just now beginning to make friends with my mirror again, so I know how hard it is. When you see yourself in a mirror, resist the urge to frown at it or stick your tongue out at it or flip it off (something I used to do all the time :) ). Just smile at it. If you can't pull up a genuine smile, fake it 'til you make it.
Don't give up. Take it one day at a time. Or one minute at a time. Or one second at a time. Whatever it takes. And come back often!
08-15-2004, 11:39 AM
A couple years ago, I remember reading an article about a woman who weighed over 500 lbs and her body could no longer support her body weight, so she became bed bound. I think at that point, I would've given up, but this lady started weight training in her bed. She also worked small at first by cutting things out of her diet and it took her a while but she eventually got into the 100's and was very healthy through diet, exercise and perservation. Don't ever think it is too late. So what you can only do 5 minutes of an exercise tape, at least you are trying. Everyone has to start from somewhere but at least you are starting. Things won't get any better if you give up and they may get worse if you don't continue to try to work on yourself.
Right now, I am doing better at my own eating plan, better than I ever thought I would ever do. I didn't start being very good at it, I started by very small changes and the changes all developed into a pretty healthy diet. Have faith in yourself, you are worth being healthy and you are worth working on yourself. It isn't going to be easy, no one who has lost any weight claims it is easy but it is worth it.
08-15-2004, 01:47 PM
Heather, Look at these great responses you've gotten! i love this board. *applauds how much we all rock*
More on point, Heather, I'm really sorry that you feel down. It's not easy to think "hm, it's going to take me a year/two years/whatever amount of time to get where i want to be.." but I think we will all agree that it's worth the hard work.
As for exercise, it should be something that you can enjoy, or at least know that you'll be able to do. If all else fails, walk around the house or up and down the stairs for a few minutes to start off. It doesn't need to be an exercise video or a gym to be legitimate exercise, and anything is better than nothing. But still, if you're having trouble with exercise right now, I dont' think there's anything wrong with starting out eating right. Like everyone said, small changes- I've read what you're cutting out etc, and congratulations, it sounds like you're doing much better. Unfortunately these changes don't happen overnight- but they're so worth waiting for.
Please don't be ashamed to confide or ask for help. we do understand.
08-15-2004, 03:08 PM
Heather don't give up you are on the right road. I have that video also and I can't do it either. I do it a few minutes at a time through the day when I do it at all. If I were you I would not worry about the exercise right now. I lost 190 lbs without doing any exercise. But when I got down to the 300 lb mark I felt like doing a lot more and started exercising. I even got a job that was very hard labor. I ended up breaking my back at the job literally. I then managed to put 100 lbs back on. But hey I'm working on it again and I will do it again. Anyway what I'm trying to get at here is that just changing your eating habits is going to do a lot. Then when you get 10, 20, 30, 50 pounds off your going to notice that you may be able to do 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes of the that video. Don't let the things you can't do keep you from doing the things you can do. We are here for your and you can do it.
08-15-2004, 04:16 PM
Hang in there Heather! :grouphug:
You can do this, just be sure to take it one day.. one meal at a time even. I know it seems like you have a long road ahead of you right now but it starts coming off pretty quick, and before you know it , you'll be down 10 lbs. and feel amazing. Once you see even the smallest loss, it really helps you stay motivated and focused. :D Stick with it, I know you'll be happy with the results..
We're here for you...
08-15-2004, 06:38 PM
Wow, thanks for all the great encouragement! I didnt quit, I am still here. Sitting here drinking my water :-P Hubby bought me this huuuge jug of bottled water, its an entire gallon! LOL I am trying to see how fast i can get it all down, without forcing, just through casual drinking. I read in an older thread somewhere on here that it will eventually start to taste good to you:-) For the most part, I dont miss soda,..yet anyway.:-) By reading all your great posts, I am already feeling better. I am sure it wont be the last time that I post in a down mood. I tend to do that,.. I will be fine for a while then i will just get all "blah"
anyway,..thanks for everything, you guys are great!
08-16-2004, 12:00 PM
Yay Heather! WTG!
You have been given a lot of great suggestions already in this post! May I also suggest that you break down your goal? It can seem daunting when you focus on the "end" goal.....why not make a goal to eat more healthfully and look at loosing 10 pounds. Then 10% of your weight....etc.....You get the idea. Make goals that are shorter term, so that you can have a taste of success!
Congratulations on all of the changes that you have made already!
08-16-2004, 03:56 PM
oh heather, honey. you're doing SO WELL!!!!! don't give up on yourself. i was like that 500 pound, bedridden woman.. and now i'm hiking and all kinds of stuff.
literally one step at a time. once i was out of the nursing home [and on portable oxygen!] i walked down the driveway and back. three times. and then slept for 2 hours!!! but every day after that i added 5-10 more steps [yes, i counted them] and within two weeks i'd reached the neighbor's driveway!!!! and then the end of the street. and now, go find the pics of chicago in this forum. yep.. that's me in the hot pink shirt!!!! i fit in the airplane seat .didn't need a seatbelt extender. walked all over chicago. had a great time.
and it all started out with just a couple of steps. just like you're doing!!!!!!
08-16-2004, 07:13 PM
Wow, really? that makes me feel a little better.
Still plugging away overe here,. I did eat on of those little debbie star crunch things but it didnt taste that well to me after eating apples an bananas the last 4 or 5 days,. :-P I guess that is a good sign. if i really really want something bad, i eat one of those little packets of fruit snacks,.. no fat, but they do have sugar but its better than the usual, of course ive only had those like 2 times over the last week so im getting there:-) Im thinking about when my little sister goes home, that I will try that leslie sansone dvd again,.. see if i can get 5 and a half minutes instead of 5 :-P
08-16-2004, 10:27 PM
Jiff, every time I start to ***** about three more minutes on the elliptical trainer, I think of you and your trips down the driveway. You're such an inspiration! :D
And Heather, you sound like you're doing well! I'm proud of you!
08-16-2004, 11:47 PM
jennelle... that elliptical trainer and i have a love-hate relationship.. the first time we met, i fell off!!! i've avoided it over the summer. but am hiking more. and i've picked 18 quarts of wild blackberries! they're all frozen in 1-qt freezer bags so that i can enjoy them over the winter. and remember the lovely summer days.
it's SO WONDERFUL to have my life back!!!!!
and heather.. step by step, new habit by new habit, you CAN get yours back, too!!!
and talk about inspiration: IMO, the award goes to the divine miss beverly!!!! [boiaby!]
08-17-2004, 08:06 AM
Awwww, thanks Jiff! :o Not too shabby yourself sweetie! :D