How confident are you that this is the last time you will lose the weight and maintain your new lifestyle?
I got a call yesterday from Purple Heart asking for donations of household items and clothing, and realized I still had about 80% of my size 16 and 14 wardrobes, filling my closet, and very few clothes that actually fit me now. I spent most of the afternoon agonizing over each piece of clothing as I stuffed them into big black plastic bags, remembering either the trauma of trying to find something that fit, or how good I thought I looked in it, or how comfortable it was and the pleasant memories associated. In went the silk dress from my brother's wedding, the suit from my sister's wedding, the comfy black velour pantsuit (didn't we all have one of those?) that I lived in at home.... They looked HUGE! Did I really like the way they looked? What was I really seeing in the mirror? Did I ever look in the mirror, for that matter?
I've been holding on to all these clothes for heaven knows what reason. To nice to get rid of? I've already given away all the REALLY nice ones, so I don't know. Fear that I may need them again? I hope not- I've maintained a steady weight for over 2 1/2 years now. The fat lady still lurking in the nether regions of my brain?
How long did you keep your "fat" clothes? What made you either keep them or get rid of them?
I am 100% confident that this is it. I will not go back under any circumstances. I actually just completed my second round of cleaning out the fat clothes last weekend. The first round was a while back to get rid of all the enormously oversized stuff and this round was to get rid of the "on the way down" stuff, mostly 14's through 18's. What is left is only the stuff that fits me now or just one size bigger. So if anything starts to feel tight then I know that I need to get on the ball because I will not be buying any larger sizes, period. It was hard to let go of some of the nicer things just because I'm so miserly, but I knew I would never wear them again so it had to be done. It's amazing how much more closet space and hangers you have you only keep clothes that fit!! Hmmmm... I guess I'll just have to fill that extra space up with more smaller sized clothes!
I've been going through sizes at a rate of knots. It's shocking, really. I never thought I'd zoom through the 14's that fast-- I've got 2 Banana Republic skirts I haven't even worn yet that I bought for spring-- and they're too big. I'm actually completely confused by all this-- how much of this stuff can be altered? When should I do it? I guess the shoulder line is impossible-- some of my jackets have armholes almost the size of my thighs. Will I be at "steady state" at size 10, or will I keep getting smaller in the hips? And then again, my skeletal proportions are sort of funny, so finding anything at any size is tough. In theory, it might be easier to get things altered than to spend endless hours shopping. I'm not complaining, mind you, but this is starting to run into time and money.
OTOH there are lots of ladies who could really use some good business clothes in larger sizes. There is a branch of Dress for Success in Portland-- they are always looking for interview clothes. So maybe it's time to say goodbye to some of this stuff. It's all pretty good quality, I must say-- I can't stand poorly constructed sloppy clothes-- and even when I was fat I tried to be neat and tidy. So I'm not at all ashamed to donate it. But letting go of my beloved Ralph Lauren tweeds and my favorite black suede "Spike" coat-- that's tough. I enjoyed those clothes.
So... I guess the answer to the original question is... yes, I'm determined to burn my bridges behind me. But I'm not quite sure if I should light the fuse now or "wait for the weight" as it were. Anyway, as problems go, this one isn't so bad... and boot season is only a few months away...
Last edited by SeekInnerThinChick; 05-29-2004 at 01:46 PM.
i think you are amazing, a true champion for losing 180lbs! i just had to tell you that.
there is a lady named skinnydreams in the "buddy up" forum under the thread "need a buddy" (i think that's it) who really needs support. would you consider sending her a post? i'm sure you would be an inspiration to her.
oh my. first question first. this HAS to be the last time. my body can no longer take the torture of the yo yo-ing. 10-15 pounds are one thing. but the cycling through 100 pounds or more is OVER.
but i'm NOT the poster child for clothes. i still have some of the ones that i wore when i weighed 500 pounds. well, actually, many of them fit at 450 but not 500.
and every once in a while, i'll come across a pair of pants i wore then. haven't tossed them.
most of the 'middling sizes' and for me they're about 22-28, are gone. gone to other wls folks who needed these sizes after surgery.
and now the three really good outfits i have are too big. not outrageously too big. thank goodness.
and there are the casual clothes.. most of them fit. for now. but there are a few jackets that i'm NOT giving up for some reason. and the coat a friend made for me when i weighed 500 pounds is still here. how can i get rid of it?????? he was worried about me, not having a winter coat to wear. so he designed and made this wonderful cape thing with arms and handmade frogs. a mohair layer and a polartec layer.
but after the dust settles from the plastic surgery, i have no idea what i'm going to do!!! i don't part with things readily. the only reason i've gotten rid of what i have is that all those 400-500 pound clothes have gone to folks who really need them.
"Last Time" sounds like there is an ending point. If so, then this isn't the Last Time for me. It's the NeverEnding Time. I can't quit or stop - no end. I'll never be normal as in Normal People eat whatever they like and never put on any weight. Or Normal People just back off a bit if they need to lose weight. Nope, I'll never be Normal.
All my clothes that no longer fit me have been donated. I did hold onto some clothes as I got lighter but that was because I was too cheap to spend any money until I dropped a couple of sizes. I'm definitely a regular customer at the consignment shop. At my height, 5 pounds is the difference between one size and the next, so putting on just a couple of pounds can make pants feel tight. That's a good thing - another data point to keep me on track. I do have to get a new swim suit this year, though. My current suit is 3 sizes too big. When I bought this swim suit two years, I just picked it off a rack and took it home. Luckily, it fit. I still have the Dressing Room Fear of Trying on Swim Suits...
I'm one of those people who got rid of all their FAT clothes. (I did have a some work skirts - long gone now - that were 'too good' to toss, so I had them altered - one skirt I had altered twice!)
Just wish I had kept the red and white polka-dot dress - then I could do a photo like Meg's Fat Pants Photo. But now, I have NOTHING in my wardrobe that is over a size Medium or size 6. Except for my wedding dress, and you all know that wedding dresses run weird anyway...but I ain't givin' that away, even though I don't intend on wearing it again
I try and go through my clothes once a year and get rid of stuff I haven't worn...Jim does the same thing. We pack up Hefty bags and give them to either the Humane Society for their thrift shop or Goodwill. (Incidentally, we go through our towels and linens every year and give the worn ones to the Humane Society - they desperately need them to use as bedding for the animals they take in...just a reminder!)
Dr. Phil did an excellent show this past season on "creating a no-fail environment". Not only did that include cleaning out the crap food from the kitchen and house, but also getting rid of the 'fat clothes' as a means of burning the bridges to the formerly fat self and making your lean self a reality. Quoting Dr. Phil: "I want you to get rid of everything that is bigger than you are now so you have nowhere to go."
It's funny - my sister (the one who lives down the street) generally buys *HER* clothes a size too big, sometimes TWO sizes too big. I'm the opposite - I like my clothes to fit - if the waist gets too tight then that's my signal to tighten up the diet, track my food, measure my portions. Shoot, if I were wearing too-big clothes, that would mentally give me leeway to pork out! In fact, when I go out to eat, I make sure to wear something with a tight waist - that way I WON'T overindulge. Just one of my little maintenance tricks, ya know!
I don't really have any fat clothes this time around. I wear a 6 now and my 'fat jeans' were a size 8 that I shoehorned into. Plus I wear scrubs to work and although they are so big that I have to roll up the waistband, they are still definitely useable.
That said, if I had em, I'd get rid of them. I want to have nothing to wear when my current clothes get too tight-that's a RED flag to get back on track!
I honestly think size 10 is quite good enough for me. I've been at that size for most of my adult life, and I'm happy to go back to it. I don't look the same now as I did then, I'm a lot older, but this is where my body wants to be. And since I'm going to have to get clothes altered no matter what I do, because of my short arms, odd shoulders, one leg slightly shorter than the other, etc. there is some shopping in my future, that's for sure. I'm sure my body will keep changing, but that's a fact of life whether you've lost weight or not, especially facing menopause. There's no sense in staying out of the shops, waiting for some perfect moment when I am "no longer changing," because that will never happen.
My goal now is the same as it was 2 1/2 years ago: get to a size 10 and stay there. I have absolutely no desire to try to get down to a tiny size, partly because I don't think it's sustainable into my old age, and because I don't think it serves any logical or functional purpose. At a size 10, I have good freedom of movement, all my health numbers should be even better than they are now, and I'm not straining my bones or muscles.
I know from experience that a size 10 is about the best I can be, with something like 25% body fat. When I was 118 pounds, running track years ago, I probably had very low body fat, but I also had no breasts, it hurt to sit down on a hard chair, I was always cold, and according to my friends and relatives, I looked "weedy." I was probably at the equivalent of a size 8 then. When I was working as a carpenter, I had more muscle than I have now, but I was boxy and awkward, with nasty PCOS-related problems-- and around a size 12.
I chose my goals carefully, keeping life-long maintenance in mind from the beginning. At this point, if I tried to get down to some tiny size and ultra-low body fat, I might be risking my health, mental and physical. To be specific, I might be risking a lot of loose skin, an eating disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder. And to stay at that "fantasy size" I'd have to spend my whole life in the gym and probably eat a near-starvation diet. That's asking for trouble. I have no desire to visit the world of weight cycling, yo-yo dieting, and food obsessions. I've never been there, and I can tell from reading this forum that I don't want to take the risk. It's not worth it.
What is worthwhile is a reasonable reward for the hard work I've put in, and so this fall I'll be walking into Nordstrom's and trying on the size 10's. And hopefully I'll be doing the same thing when I'm 85 or better.
Funny that I've been thinking about it lately too, last night we had just this discussion, both my g/f feel they can't get rid of their fat clothes because they aren't sure they will stay the journey...
I'm determined to stay the journey... Tig, YES this is the NeverEnding Story for sure...
Many of my clothes are size 14... In my head I've had different discussions about those size 14s... One side says "get rid of it" the other says "what if" because I've always gone back to the 14s no matter what in the past. But the past is the PAST I keep telling myself. But then the "what if" keeps coming back... NOOOOOO I don't want to live in the in the future in my past 14's !!!!
But like Dr. Phil says, get rid of the old stuff!! So I am, I don't want to go back... So this weekend I've decided that the size 14's are going to my g/f's or the yard sale...No more excuses...
Karen, when I go out I make sure to wear something snug for the same reasons as you said...
Goal weight or size?? The verdict is still out on that one for me! In a size 10 sometimes 8, I still don't feel comfortable, I feel big... So when I get to the size I feel small in I will be happy I guess. But I will always strive to be physically fit and healthy first and foremost...
Last edited by 3fcuser1058250; 05-30-2004 at 05:54 PM.
i'm not ready!!! and meg.. mel ... jack... anyone else who wants to come and help... you'll be joining a whole bunch of other dear friends who want to help. and i'm eternally grateful.
but there's a whole lot of overcoming to be done: right now, i walk into a store and don't even SEE the clothes. the rare time i force myself to focus on the fact that i should be at least LOOKING at them, i start to hyperventilate.
sooooo. as of right now, it'll be a group visit to the personal shopper at bloomies, to at least get started. she tells me what to try on and i do it. and she tells me it's all ok. and she doesn't let me get overwhelmed.
and yes, even when i was normal sized, i hated to shop.
About the confidence weight thing, I am confident that I have the tools to keep at the Weight loss journey... I gained though as most of you knew. I am confident I can keep the weight mostly off (I do plan to get pregnant probably in the next 3-4 years) as long as I work on the mental aspect of this and keep sugars at bay.
As for shopping I am in the size 7-10 category depending on the style cut etc... I bought 7s and 9s yesterday when I shopped... I always have difficulty with pants regardless what size I am; I have very thick thighs and I have a curvy toosh and even when I was a size 4/6 I had tons of trouble with this and then the waist being huge on me. Tops are another story.... I usually am an S, but with all these super lycra-d tops I sometimes choose a medium. I just am not into the super bright clours out right now.
how about if we start SMALL???? i could handle outlet shopping in some place like, say READING PA. jack can bring pat. jack can drive. jack can herd. jack can scout out places for lunch.
i could do this for a day or two. and focus on one kind of clothing. maybe casual or undies or whatever. and i can cope. i think. especially if there's a pool around.
How confident are you that this is the last time?
"what if" keeps coming back... NOOOOOO I don't want to live in the in the future in my past 14's !!!!
Even when I hated buying clothes, I was a demon in the shoe, jewelry and purse departments. 
