Hi.
Hello. So...a little about me I guess. . .
I use to be super skinny. Like 113pounds when I graduated college. I could eat anything and everything and I usually did. Got pregnant and each time I got close to 200lbs. (180, 195, 210 final weights before giving birth) I now hover around 185-190. I am an emotional eater and seem to be getting more and more emotional lately. And by emotional I mean sad. Bordering on depressed but I don't think I have crossed that line yet. My husband still looks like he did when we met 12 years ago and he makes comments on my weight (not in a super mean way but still, comments, and so they hurt.) I haven't let him know that they get to me because at first they didn't. Probably because I thought this would be a temporary condition. Seems that is untrue as my youngest is 3 now...
We joined a gym together for a while but with his schedule it became impossible for us to go even to an all night gym and I couldn't go alnoe because the membership was in his name and who am I kidding? I wouldn't go on my own motivation. I have none. I am fat and it is making me depressed and so I eat because I am sad and it makes me fat. So I get more sad so I eat....I am not skinny anymore and I haven't even looked at myself in a mirror for three years because I am so disgusted by what I see. I dont wear make up so I can avoid even looking at my fat face. I hate my flabby belly that still looks five months pregnant but has four on
Inches of loose skin hanging from it. I just want to be pretty again. Realistically I know 113 is an unattainable dream but if I could just reach 130 maybe I wouldn't hate me so much.
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