Good morning everyone! My name is saveyourheart (lyrics from an old song I liked and the same name I use on soberrecovery and loveshack and I figured why change it?) and I've struggled with weight my entire life.
I was chunky, but not abnormally chunky, until about 10th grade. I went from a size 8 to a size 14 overnight practically. By the time I was in 12th grade, I had had enough. I got the diet pill Oxyelite Pro and the weight fell off. I went off to college the next year, still addicted to the diet pill and the high of losing weight and I stopped eating. When I did eat, I would vomit it back up and exercise excessively. The weight I'd started at was 180, goal weight was 130, end weight was 102.5. I was so thin that my hip bones jutted out and my body looked too tiny for my head. All I wanted was to be 96 lbs. But I knew that when I reached 96, I would want to be less.
Fortunately (and unfortunately) Oxyelite Pro was recalled and removed from the shelves for being "dangerous". Then I discovered pizza. Oh I freaking love pizza. I could eat pizza every day and not get tired of it.
Ever since my diet pill got snatched away from me, I've struggled to find and keep a comfortable weight. I'm at the highest I've ever weighed, a little over 200 I think, I have scale phobia so I'm guesstimating. I stress eat pretty frequently. My husband is an alcoholic and I'm in my early 20s trying to deal with something I wasn't ready for. I eat because there's very little I can control in my life and food makes me happy.
The last time I felt comfortable was when I weighed 126. (All my favorite numbers end with 6s, sorry for the strangeness). I would be happy to just be under 150 but I can't seem to keep up with a good calorie restriction or find an exercise that I like. I love to swim but I'm too embarrassed to wear a swimsuit right now.
So I guess I just need to put it out there somewhere, in writing, to hold myself accountable.
Hi! You've been through so much. Many people don't make it, so give yourself credit for surviving. I think we need to prop ourselves up as much as we can. I had a horrible time with food restriction. I have found that portion control helped the most. I would slowly start serving smaller portions...then eventually went on to healthier foods. I just started and have a long way to go, but so far t hat has worked for me.
If you're a stress eater, maybe you can find a hobby, or something to keep your hands busy so you don't eat.
Is it bad that it makes me really tempted to try and buy it? I've never tried a weight loss supplement before, I just figured if they actually worked we wouldn't have an obesity epidemic :/
Anyway welcome aboard!
Last edited by bloominbutterflies; 03-23-2017 at 02:09 PM.
Bloominbutterflies - If it were wtill available I would be back on it in a heartbeat (I know that's bad to say lol). Most diet pills DON'T work, thermogenics can usually help supplement weight loss, but if you don't keep making good choices when you're done with them, it packs the weight back on pretty quickly. They felt like I imagined speed would feel. They were glorious lmao.
According to FDA's website, Oxyelite Pro was recalled because it can cause acute liver failure and hepatitis.
I think diet pills in general are a bad idea, especially if it makes you feel like the pill is the only thing you need, so you don't have to eat healthy.
The first step to losing weight is to tell yourself that you CAN lose weight, and you don't need the pill. If you think it's hopeless, you won't be able to find motivation. If you improve your diet, you'll definitely lose weight.
If you find it difficult to cut calories, eating healthier foods will make you feel more full and less likely to overeat. In particular, foods which are high in protein (e.g. fish, eggs) or fiber (e.g. vegetables, whole grains) will help to make you feel more full. I don't know what else you eat, but I can tell you that pizza is not good for your weight. It's usually not whole grain and high in saturated fat.
If you can't find the motivation to exercise, try starting small. 10 minutes per day is better than nothing, and you can increase it later.
I think sometimes we have to take a step back and read our story as if our best friend or a family member wrote it. Things that we will just accept about ourselves we would be extremely concerned about in other people that we care for. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia are very serious- I hope that in addition to coming here, that you will also seek out the medical assistance you need to diet safely, and to treat yourself with love rather than rejection.
I wish you the best on your journey back to health. Blessings.
Everyone has given you great advice. In addition to the great advice you received, you need to be around people that can be a great support for you. This forum is a great start, but you need to be talking with folks that are available on a daily basis. These folks will guide you in the right direction. Motivators and Cheer leaders.
New here - the struggle is real.
