Hi and Welcome Plus Sized Librarian. You and I have a lot in common. My mother was super obese at 400 pounds when she died 10 years ago and I fought for years with her death on my heart and in my mind until I decided that her fate wasn't going to be mine and I started 110 pounds MORE than what you are right now. You've come to the right place and the time to start is NOW!
What got me out of my funk and got me off my couch and brought me to my "come to Jesus" moment was I was reading Dr. Phil's weight loss book that he wrote 10 years ago and in it he talks about how weight loss is a choice. I was expecting to read some easy miracle cure in there which really is kinda silly considering Dr. Phil tells you exactly how it is. He is in your face, to the point and doesn't beat around the bush. He said that I had a choice. I could CHOOSE to not eat right, which we all really know what we are doing when we stuff crap in our mouths or we could CHOOSE to eat right. I could CHOOSE to exercise or I could CHOOSE to not exercise. Do it or don't do it. It was so simple but at the same time so in my face that I was like ya know what ok, yeah, I know this is going to be hard and I know it's going to take a heck of a long time and no fad diet is ever going to do it so I just need to make the choice and do it because I refuse to be like my mother and die 400 pounds and before my time.
It sounds like you've made the same choice I made and all that's left now to do is what path to take to get there. I hit the road hard myself. I exercise daily, I got on a sensible lifestyle change eating plan (not a diet) that was approved by a nutritionist that I can adapt for when I go into maintenance and not a fad diet so I am not under eating.
The exercise will help the depression a lot. It really has helped mine. Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you need it. I wish you great luck. You've come to the right place for support and encouragement.
Hi!
plus_size_librarian! I'm so sorry to hear about your father. 
You can do this and you'll find lots of support here! There's a sub-forum for those with PCOS under Dieting with Obstacles. There are forums on diet plans and exercise, just about anything you can think of! Some threads are more active than others but just look at the dates when people last posted in them. I love all the foods that are bad for me too, lol! I imagine most of us here do. We have a love-hate relationship with those foods. Quick-burning carbs (bread, cereal, pasta, sweets, potato chips, etc.) are my nemesis, so I'm on a modified version of a diet called the Slow Carb Diet, and it's just what I need! Take a look around, find what interests you, and jump in on some posts! People are very nice here! Good luck!
