[VioletButterfly]

Hi everyone

My name is Nicole. I'm a 19 yr old full time college student ready to take control back over my life.

I've been a "chubby" kid nearly my whole life. You know that good ol' "chart" that your pediatrician /doctor would always take out and then sit you down for that dreaded "you need to lose some weight" talk? Yeah. That was every doctor visit for me. I was always 10-15lbs overweight and they always warned me "if you don't catch it now, it'll grow out of control" I of course didn't listen, but they were right.

My weight didn't really bloom out of control until I was 11 years old. I was sent to live with a family member who then sexually assaulted me from the age of 11 to 15.

During that time depression welcomed itself in my life. I first turned to self-harm, I would cut and burn myself daily, until I started getting in trouble, and I ended up at therapist and mental hospitals, I never told about what happened to me so everyone kept trying to say "Oh, she wants attention" or "someone help her there's something wrong with her brain", when truly, I was just scarred. I stopped the self-harm and turned to food, I went from 145 to 300lbs.

One day I looked in the mirror and realized this isn't loving myself. I can't expect anyone to love me if I don't love myself and the only person that needs to love me is myself and that what I'm doing is just letting everyone who hurt me before; win. And that I wouldn't allow. So I started on my first weightloss journey. I was dedicated. Healthy food and exercise became my life for months. I went from 300lbs to 225lbs.

Then something tragic happened and all my hard work was lost as I turned back to food. Now I am back up to 280lbs and I am ready to stop it there and get on the right path again. I just need a little boost this time, so here I am

Would love to meet new friends and support buddies.

I am here for anyone also <3

[freelancemomma]

Hi Nicole,

You've certainly been through a lot. Have you thought of going to your college's counselling service and getting therapy to process all that's happened to you? It can't hurt and it may help a lot. As for the weight loss, I suggest you go slow and steady. If you lose 50 pounds per year, you'll be at goal by the time you graduate from college. I know it seems like a lifetime away, but if you do nothing you'll graduate at your current weight or higher.

You've done it before, so you know that it's not easy but definitely doable. Good luck and keep us posted.

F.

[faiora]

Welcome to the forum.

Life's rough and you've had it worse than a lot of people, but it sounds like you have a pretty positive outlook, which is great. I wish you all the success. ^_^

The forum's medium-quiet here usually, but full of good people who stop and poke around to say hello. I like just coming to chat about what I'm up to and how I'm going about my business, because it's a constant reminder of what my goals are and how I'll achieve them. Hopefully you can make the forum work in whatever way is best for you as well.

Hope to see you around lots!

[NDGal]

Hello Violet! Your life sounds like mine in the weight department! Hang in there. We can do it!

[Golda]

Hey Violet Butterfly and welcome! Sounds like you've been through so much!! What a strong person you are! Wow. Just make sure while you're undertaking this weight loss transformation over the college years to surround yourself with positivity and also support. Like freelancemomma suggested, going to a counsellor at college can really help to give you some kind of assistance. I think this is especially useful when going through the college years. Good luck on your journey, you sound like an amazing girl with a bright future ahead!

[fitmama84]

Welcome, and major props to you for taking control of your life :-)