Hello. My name is HDJA, and I'm a food-a-holic.
LOL
In all seriousness, I'm new here, blah blah blah...
I am just so fed up with my weight. Back a long time ago, I used to work my butt off to keep myself thin. Coming from a family of huge people, the genes are not ever in my favor, and nor do they flatter me when I want to wear jeans.
My goal is to lose 200 lbs, which is 90.7 kg, or 14 stone, and get down to a healthier weight for my age and height, which is 140 (63.5 kg or 10 stone). I've been 300+ for too long and I'm tired of paying hundreds of dollars for my plus sized clothes, even looking at plus sized clothes as my only options, being uncomfortable in public, and being questioned by the kids I babysit as to why I have such a big belly and why I don't have a boyfriend.
The only problem is motivation, or lack thereof, and depression. Let's face it, no one likes dieting. And when it really hurts, no one likes exercise. We know it's necessary to be healthy, but when you've lived on your favorite junk foods and sugar drinks for a long time, with only a few pieces of broccoli here and there, it's hard to cold turkey yourself. I don't have this problem. I could turn a way a piece of cheese cake faster than you could bat your eye, but my serious picky-ness when it comes to food items, especially healthy, sets me back. I can't stand onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, asparagus, brussel sprouts, bell peppers, peppers in general, and lots of others veggies that are strange and colorful. That being said, I like corn, broccoli, carrots, potatoes, cooked green beans and cauliflower. Only a few of those are really healthy for me, and because of the excess starches and whatnot in corn and potatoes, my parental figure, whom I live with, refuses to get them. That sets me back even further.
To make matters worse, I'm so tired of looking at myself in the mirror, and so tired and upset when diets fail or I lose hope, while my friends and family dance around with their boyfriends and skinny clothes, that I sleep almost 16 hours a day every day, as if that'll help me escape my reality. It's gotten to the point where I know I need to do something for myself, but I'm so depressed about my weight problems, that I literally can NOT drag my *** out of bed in the morning to do things. My mother, who needs to drop a few pounds herself though not as much as me, is trying to stay positive for me, trying to help me, but some day's it's just so difficult to accept my situation that I've slumped into depression, and I want nothing to do with her.
What also doesn't help is that my dream job is literally sitting in front of a computer. Well, as a student, my current lifestyle is sitting in front of a computer... I know there are lots of people who have managed to stay thin (or at least thinner) in a sedentary lifestyle, but most of those people have metabolisms that never stop. I have generations of chunky genes, bad thyroids, and slow, almost non-existent metabolisms working against me, and yes, genetic fatness is a thing.
I digress. Recent health problems have plagued me, and as per the norm when you're overweight, your friends, your family, and the doctor, tell you it's because you need to lose weight. I managed to lose 20 lbs (9 kg or 1.4 stone) before I joined this forum, however recently I've only been able to manage to maintain. And I need to lose, for my health, my future, and my state of mind.
So here's to a new adventure with broccoli for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and non-stop dance classes, haha.
And It Begins... Kinda
