[souvenirdarling]

My best friend asked that I be maid of honour, for which I am equally terrified and pleased, for her wedding next summer. Another close friend of ours will get married a few weeks before.

I know this means that all my girls will be in diet mode. While I've been aware of/monitoring/adjusting/improving my habits for a long while now, it's not something I at all talk about out loud. Just here. I kind of hate the pressure.

I know for sure my BFFB (best friend forever bride ) with be obsessing about it. She expects her family members to lose weight. She expects herself to, though it's always been very difficult for her.Does she expect me to? Will think it's lazy/counter-wedding if I don't? Will she be jealous (in that difficult, unintentional way) if I do? Is her vision of me distorted because, while I feel overweight, I'm technically fitter than she is?

And of course I know - it doesn't matter She's my best friend, I love her. But these fancy parties bring out some of our worst female competitive traits, don't they. Know what I mean?

[LiannaKole]

I know what you mean. I've had a bit of MOH drama recently myself.

The best thing I've found is to focus on the positive and don't feed the wedding craziness more than necessary.

[muguet]

Oh my, I completely understand where you're at. Just remember, if you lose weight, it's for yourself. Wedding or no wedding. If she expects anyone to lose weight, that's her thing. Best friends share a lot of things but expectations, especially ones regarding your weight, shouldn't be one of them in my opinion. I understand what may happen if you have more success than she does at losing weight (jealousy, comments, etc) but please remember and make her aware that you're making lifestyle choices for your life and not hers and that you're supportive of her if she wants to join you too.
Weddings are extremely emotional and don't let a date get between you, your health and your friendship. I lost touch with a friend after being her maid of honour. It was a very difficult time and I'm still upset that our friendship ended the day of her wedding. It was probably bound to but it still upsets me that a day that's supposed to be memorable and full of joy can also be so destructive of important relationships.

[sunarie]

I second what muguet said, and really, hopefully your BFF won't care. I completely understand your concerns though.

I actually joined this site just yesterday, and the push for me to do so was being ashamed that I'm going to be the fat bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in two weeks. I had tried to lose some weight leading up to the event on my own, and it didn't work out at all.

I can tell you that I'm not really concerned with how much weight others lose or anything, but it's not my wedding. I'm not harboring any jealousy to all the girls skinnier than me in the wedding either. I do wish I had their bodies and all, but I don't feel any hatred or ill will towards them because they're smaller than me.

I know my sister doesn't care either. She was supportive of me wanting to lose, but in no way did that decision come from her, and she even let me get a little cover for my arms since the bridesmaid dress she picked was strapless. She didn't make mention, or hint at it. So really, I've been more consumed with worry about it than anyone. We are our own harshest critics.