100 lb. Club - How do you handle unhealthy social pressure?
07-07-2014, 01:43 AM
Okay, I have been friends with this girl for 10 years, and we have always talked about our weight, walked together, etc. We both decided at the same time to get serious about losing weight again, and while I am doing TurboFire, walking and counting calories, she has signed up for some program where she pays hundreds of dollars for 60-calorie shakes and is basically starving herself. She is eating like 400 calories or less many days, and that includes the shakes. She is knocking herself out with Benedryl at night because she said she is so hungry she can't sleep, she is lightheaded and they told her not to exercise.
I know that is not healthy, but her choice, right? Wrong. She tried pressuring me to sign up for this under her so that she can make money and get her shakes for free, but she won't tell me the name of the plan and got frustrated when I told her I am not going to starve myself and it isn't going to work in the long term.
Now, she has lost 24 pounds in her first month and is basically rubbing it in my face because I am losing at a slower rate. I know I should blow it off and not pay attention, but she is putting so much pressure like I should join her because what I am doing is not working as fast. I feel she is trying to make me jealous so that I will sign up under her.
How do you handle this kind of pressure? I don't have hundreds of dollars to spend, and I know she won't keep it off long term. So, what would you guys do?
07-07-2014, 04:45 AM
can you avoid her? over the years, i've found that i can control who i spend time with, and if they aren't a positive influence or a postive force in my life, I stay away.
Ideally, you should tell her up front why you don't to hang out with her, but your health comes first. So if the pressure is too much, you don't need to give her explanations - just don't put yourself in a position where you're vulnerable.
If you can't avoid her (you see her at work/school etc) tell her that as a friend she needs to respect your choices and it hurts that she's not. and you would like to take some time apart until you both are in a position to respect each other's choices.
07-07-2014, 09:03 PM
I think I would have to tell her " We're going to have to agree to disagree on this. I like you too much as a friend to let this become an issue. Let's just cheer each other on but each work our own program. "
Or if you can't stand her, avoid her like Typhoid Mary. Either way, keep doing what's been working for you.
07-07-2014, 09:24 PM
I'm guessing you won't have to put up with it much longer. Usually those shake programs are pretty short lived, just like you suspected. Any diet where you have to medicate yourself because you are too hungry to sleep can't last long.
You know what I'd do... I'd relish every delicious bite of every healthy, fresh, tasty meal that I prepared for myself. I'd enjoy every sight, sound and smell on my long walks. You know how this story will end!
07-08-2014, 10:36 PM
Tell her you'll buy it as soon as she buys Amway from you LOL
seriously tho, what kind of friends pressures another friend to do stuff like that? I'm a bit ruthless when it comes to people in my life, I don't waste my valuable free time on people who are selfish and out for what they can get
07-08-2014, 10:59 PM
I would tell her that you're not interested and you won't change your mind and if she keeps bringing it up, it will ruin the friendship. Don't let her get to you...slow and steady wins the race.
07-09-2014, 07:07 AM
I just can't get over the fact she's so hungry it keeps her up at night and she still believes she's making a healthy decision...
Anyways, depending on how much you value your friendship with her or what kind of relationship you have with her (co-worker, for instance), I'd either try to make her see her ways are very unhealthy and maybe try to persuade her to follow your plan (or at least get off your back) or just ignore her altogether.
No one should force you into something so unhealthy...
07-09-2014, 07:58 AM
do you genuinely like her, aside from this, or are you friends with her because you have been friends with her and its a habit?
I would either try the direct approach of saying "please stop asking me about this. I see that it is working for you, my plan is working for me."
You could also hang around with her less.
07-11-2014, 10:09 PM
You've been friends with her for many years. I figure if you like each other enough, despite this, you can just get totally straight with a bit of aggro with her if you think its necessary. If you've been rejecting her politely, she needs a bit of shock tactics.