Depression and Weight Issues - Ups & Downs Support Group: March 2014

03-01-2014, 11:40 PM
Hello and :welcome3: to the Ups & Downs Support Group: March 2014 thread! Anyone is welcome to join the group if you are interested in receiving and giving support in your weight loss journey. We chose the title Ups & Downs for our support group to reflect the ups and downs of weight loss, life on medication, and life in general. Feel free to post and join in! For the regulars in the group, PLEASE POST and let us know you found the new thread!

Waving hello :wave: to everyone and wishing you the best in your weight loss journey!

03-01-2014, 11:53 PM
I am continuing to follow the eating guidelines of the DASH diet. I have strayed a little in the past few days with my eating, but I am not weighing myself until Thursday, so hopefully any damage will be undone before then. I did not get a workout in today, but I did get workouts in every day this past week! :carrot: That is a HUGE accomplishment for me! I really need to keep it up. We went to one of our favorite Italian restaurants tonight, which serves very delicious bread with olive oil for dipping. :T Our waitress brought 2 loaves to our table of 3 (hubby, daughter, and me), and I didn't have a bite! :D I ate a huge salad instead. YAY me! :broc: I am really making significant progress for the first time in years!!! So this past week was a definite UP week for me! I know some other regulars in the group have been struggling lately and I wrote to you personally last evening. My heart and my prayers go out to all of you. Hang in there and please continue to post and keep us updated, even if it is to just say "still struggling." Sending out big hugs to all of my regulars! :hug: Thanks for being here! ;)

03-02-2014, 09:46 AM
Hello Kathleen and thanks for setting up the March thread :) congrats to you for doing well on your program! I have NOT :( Had 4 good days, then one bad, then one will be day 6 and I will try yet again :rolleyes:

Just another white/grey/snowy/cold day and just another day of work for my Rat B@st@rd of a boss, lol. But I am on the countdown, about 6 more weeks then I am OUT OF THERE :D

03-02-2014, 09:34 PM
Hello Holly! So happy that you posted. I just came home from a meal out with my parents at another Italian restaurant ~ where I was tempted with cheesy garlic bread, yummy pizza, and dessert, but all I had was a cup of wedding soup and a large spinach salad. I am so proud of myself! :D When I saw the pizza, I thought "I HAVE to have ONE piece of that!" but I thought it through and talked myself out of it. I am glad that I did. I am comfortably satisfied right now and I'd have felt stuffed and guilty if I had given in to the pizza monster! :devil: Happy to hear that you only have 6 more weeks at your job with your nasty boss. (I like your description better!) :lol: Hey, 4 good days on your plan is great! Remember that it's about PROGRESS and NOT perfection. Climb right back on board! ;) WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Fiona W
03-03-2014, 09:44 AM
I'm doing good! Last night we had my niece Margaret and her 7-yr-old son over to our house for dinner: that's the first time we've had people over in a very long time, because of Bob's long, severe depression. The three of them had pizza, while I had Greek salad. We had several prints, most of them framed, that we were happy to give to our niece to help her decorate her new place. And I was pleased that she really liked one of my collages, so I'm going to have it framed for her as a housewarming present.

03-03-2014, 12:13 PM
Fi: Glad to see you made it to the new thread! Thanks for posting. Sounds like things are going well with your niece and her son. That is great that Bob was willing to have people over. Sounds like a big step for him! Maybe taking care of the 7-year-old has been a blessing in disguise for both of you!?! Hope all is well. Good for you for eating salad while the others had pizza! :D

03-03-2014, 03:16 PM
Hello all, Found it!
Kathleen! Way to GO! Finally seeing the results you deserve is so gratifying, and I am so happy for you.

Fi, I am so glad to hear that the relationship with your niece seems to be a positive thing for both you and Bob. I agree about taking it slow with Robine, but snail mail should facilitate that. I am glad to hear you doing so well :)

Holly, You can do it!! I am also having trouble staying with my program right now. Thinking about you and sending strong thoughts!

I am doing ok now, I still feel physically depressed though my state of mind is doing better. Diet and exercise have been off since we got back from the hospital(2 weeks, ridiculous!), and I am just starting to feel any type of motivation to exercise or stop eating cookies and fancy cheese.

Sorry to vent but I work with a girl who is dumb. She lacks critical thinking skills!!! She is sweet and has a beautiful heart and I love her outside of work but she drives me crazy. It's not that I am being too hard on her, I have heard the same complaints from others. I feel bad and at the same time so irritated! I can't even leave the office for a day without her having some kind of emergency that should just not be a big deal. It puts a lot of pressure on me that doesn't really need to be there, as if my own brain isn't doing enough to me already ;p

Anywho, on a nice note I added a chicken and a beautiful young rooster to my family today, and they are so cute! Can't wait for duckies, and for goslings! I have been thinking about starting a blog, but generally am not motivated to write much. I guess a lot of it could be pictures? Anybody here blog who has thoughts on how to make it work?

Thanks to everyone,

03-03-2014, 05:45 PM
Chelsea: Congrats on your new additions to your family ~ a chicken and a rooster! :) Happy to hear that your state of mind is better. Now to get you out of your physical depression! Be patient with yourself. Could you get back in the swing of things by exercising just a short time...... and then gradually increase your time each day (or even each week)? Just try to take ONE small step today (or tomorrow) toward getting back on track with diet and exercise. One meal and one day at a time. You will get there! ;) Thanks for posting! Sending you a big hug! :hug:

03-04-2014, 10:15 AM
Thanks for the new thread. =)

I gained weight during the month of February but I haven't checked how much. I can just feel the difference, it's terrible. During this time, I was on Escitalopram for depression and anxiety and while it helped, I found that I was no longer able to sleep peacefully. I would toss and turn at night and then wake up exhausted. I began to care less and less about cleaning, eating right, working out, etc. and slowly worked my way back around to feeling sad and now angry. So two days ago I decided to stop taking it.

I'm still feeling a bit more tired than normal but I'm doing a lot better. My sleep isn't quite as restful yet, I still have vivid dreams that wake me up, but at least I'm not in pain.

I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a month or more.

03-04-2014, 11:46 AM
Dollfaise: :welcome3: to the group! Good for you for going to the gym yesterday! You are on your way toward getting that weight off! Be careful about stopping your med cold turkey. Usually, a psychiatrist should wean you off gradually to avoid side effects. Are you under the care of a doctor? I would recommend keeping him/her in the loop. Glad you posted! Good luck to you! :)

03-05-2014, 09:27 AM
I am continuing to do well (not perfect, which is OKAY) on the DASH way of eating. I am really using it to provide guidelines for healthy eating, so I am trying to avoid calling it a "diet." I really had a bad morning yesterday and was SOOOOOO tempted to skip my workout with trainer, but I went anyway....... and I was GLAD I did afterward!!! So that is PROGRESS! :D Other than the weight training I do with my trainer twice a week, I have only been able to ride the stationary bike due to lingering foot pain (plantar fasciitis?). I hope it is helping. Tomorrow's weigh-in will help me know where I stand. Since my foot pain is no longer improving, I made an appointment with my podiatrist for this Friday. Hope he can provide some relief of some kind. I am dying to get back on the treadmill!

Tonight, we are going to the Eagles concert with some really good friends who we haven't seen in awhile. I am self-conscious because of my weight, but you know what..... it is what it is and I am working to make things better, so the heck with it! We are meeting for dinner out before the concert, so I think I will look up the menu online and decide ahead of time what to order..... to keep me on track. I am trying hard to make good choices. I hope it pays off with weight loss!

Where is everyone else?!?!? Please post..... if only to say "Hi!" Hope everyone is doing okay! Sending hugs for those that need them! :hug: :hug: :hug:

03-05-2014, 11:41 AM
Hi you all,

I would love to join this group if I may! After yet another weekend of terrible eating and very little exercise, I woke up on Monday realizing I need to find some sort of support group. I came across this group and have been very inspired by you all!

I am a late-20s woman, and I feel like I have been living in a fog for the past 4 years or so. I work from home in a very stressful job, and my partner - who is incredibly lovely and kind - is a very naturally thin woman who never really struggles with eating urges. All this is to say, I have spiraled a bit and feel like I am hidden away with eating issues, and I have gained ~40 pounds over the last few years.

That said, I feel like I am just starting to see beyond the fog, I am trying to work my way out of it in a sustainable way! I am a former athlete, so the all-or-nothing mentality has kicked me down in the past. Now, I am trying to set realistic, attainable goals to achieve daily. For example, I am trying to walk 10,000 steps every day (I have a FitBit) and avoid all soda. It's a long, sometimes sad road.

I am so happy to see there is a community to connect with and gain support from! I look forward to connecting with you all, and I hope you all have a wonderful day today! :)

03-05-2014, 04:23 PM
idgie_marie: :welcome: to our group! So happy you posted! Of course, you are welcome to join us!!! It is good news that you feel as though the fog is finally lifting for you and that you are taking realistic steps to meet your goals. I hope you will be able to receive the support that you are looking for here. It is difficult when our significant other doesn't have a weight issue when we do. Right now, my hubby is trying to lose weight, too, which helps. You can do this!!! I wish you the best in your weight loss journey! :)

03-05-2014, 10:18 PM
Hi I'm new to this but I need some support. I tried OEA but it just didn't work for me 7 years ago I started on a journey and in 3 years lost 92 pounds then I quit smoking and started gaining weight I currently have gained all but 35 pounds back:mad: I am binge eating and it's killing me I have been diagnosed with depression and take meds for it but I still can't find any motivation :?: don't mean to be a Debbie downer but needed to get involved in something to at least try

03-06-2014, 02:53 PM
I haven't seen or spoken to my doctor in a month+ and don't particularly like her. She doesn't listen when I talk, it goes in one ear and out the other. My last appointment with her was meh and I don't have a desire to go back. I'm thinking I'll try finding someone else, and closer, now that I've moved.

I'm still low on energy and motivation. That trip to the gym was my last as I hurt my knee and it's been too sore after standing all day at work. I'm not sure how to get enough energy to move, work is wearing me out so bad, I don't know how to keep going like this. I work until 7pm multiple nights a week so by that time, it's hard to make myself do anything. If I go before work, it'll be alone when I'd rather go with my boyfriend but he can't go that early.

I'm thinking a change of jobs is in order, this one is costing me my mental and physical health.

03-06-2014, 11:15 PM
Desper8lyseekinskiny: :welcome3: to the group! I am glad that you posted! I, too, know the frustration of losing weight and then gaining (in my case) all and more of it back. Congratulations on quitting smoking!!! That is wonderful! Sorry you have gained a lot of weight back, though. You did it once, so you KNOW you are capable of doing it..... again! Maybe you need to try a different medicine for your depression. Often, it takes more than one med to make a difference, too. Just be sure to talk to your doctor about it and let him/her know that you still struggle with motivation. Some research shows that exercise is as effective as antidepressants, so let that be motivation for you, too ~ for weight loss AND your depression! YOU CAN DO IT!!! I hope you will find support here in the group! Keep on posting and let us know how we can best help you. Take care! Hugs to you! :hug:

Dollfaise: Awww, too bad you don't like your doctor. That is such an important relationship. Keep looking until you find someone you click with. Sorry to hear that you hurt your knee! :( If this job is truly costing you your mental and physical health, I definitely recommend looking for new employment. You deserve to be happy and healthy! :)

03-07-2014, 09:39 AM
:welcome: to doll faise, desper8, and idgie marie! (sorry for my abbreviations) really great to have new people here to talk to and commiserate with :)

Kathleen, you are doing so well! Yay!! :carrot:

CDubs, congrats on the additions to your family :D and wow your partner was in the hospital for 2 weeks?? yikes.

Fi, I bet your niece was thrilled to get that artwork!

I had to go to our family doctor yesterday because Cananda Drugs called in my Wellbutrin prescription to be renewed, and my doctor wanted to see me because I hadn't been in for 2 years (sinus infection). I was afraid he was going to tell me to wean off the Wellbutrin but that was not the case..he said if things are going well then we don't have to mess with them. He is also a motorcyclist so he said 'we have to keep our President healthy' :D so a mini checkup, he listened to my heart ("that's a good sounding heart") and my bp is good 135/80; and I did have to step on the scale :( and I am 160 but he didnt lecture me about weight. I did ask about my knee and the first thing to do is get an X ray. but I don't know how much our insurance will pay for so I have to investigate that.

sorry for the huge paragraph all about me. I also got a cold from my miserable Rat B@st@rd of a boss, from him spraying his disgusting germs all over the place for days. Actually the germs could have come from hundreds of people but I just like to blame him :p

I spiraled back into bad eating habits and its like I never even tried :( it is just so hard .

Fiona W
03-07-2014, 08:15 PM
Sorry I haven't been around, y'all. I am reading your postings & thinking about you. I'm just really busy, because I'm fired up for writing in French to all my new French correspondents, some in Canada and some in France. Plus it's time for me to work up the gumption to write my first long handwritten letter to my Belgian friend, Robine: I really want to make sure I protect myself, and say the things that would be most helpful to her as well. I think I'll be ready to tackle that tomorrow. Sunday we're having our niece and her son over again—probably gonna make that a weekly thing. I've been "cheating" a bit by eating some sugar-free muesli, and I occasionally miss a day of doing my leg exercises, but other than that, it's the same old stuff in my weight loss efforts. My moods have been so stable lately—it's marvelous!

Best wishes to all for a weekend of what you want to do, for your health, not what you feel like doing, which may be wrong for your longterm plans. Want can win out over feel!

03-08-2014, 04:08 AM
I haven't been here in forever. I stopped dieting, and now I've gained all the weight back that I lost last year. In January, I tried a new antipsychotic, Fanapt, and gained 10 lbs in a week. The Latuda just stopped working. Now I'm back on Geodon, but I'm still gaining weight, b/c of all the crap I've been eating. Why does bad food need to taste so good? Not sure which diet to go on now. Maybe I should try WW again. grrrrr.

03-08-2014, 05:48 PM
Holly: I WAS doing so well, but my wheels fell off Wednesday night at our pre-concert dinner where I indulged in a bottle of wine with an old friend. Then, out went the inhibitions and in came the bread and other no no's late that evening (after Eagles concert). :o :( Thursday was our son's 18th birthday and I ate fries AFTER my sensible meal out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Friday, I just ate many extras that I shouldn't have. Today, except for a small handful of sweet tart bites, I am back on board. WHEW!!! I did weigh in this morning, despite my "bad" Weds-Fri, just to see where I stand, and I had lost .4 of a pound. (I had probably lost a few pounds before my poor choices at the end of the week.) I will just call this past week a "maintain" and go for weight loss in the week ahead. (It could have been much worse!!!) I am disappointed in myself, but I am still a work-in-progress, so I am trying not to beat myself up too badly about my slip-ups and just hop right back on board. You are right, it is just so hard! :( I can do this, though!!! WE can do this! That is so funny that your doctor said, "We have to keep our President healthy!" :lol: So "kewl" that he is a fellow biker! I hope you will be able to get an x-ray of your knee covered by insurance. Great that he didn't mess with your Wellbutrin! Sounds like a good doc! ;) Sorry to hear that you caught a cold from your nasty boss. :p Hope you feel better soon! :hug:

Fi: Great to hear from you! Glad to hear that your moods have been very stable lately! That is wonderful! :D Good luck with all of your French correspondence and especially with your letter to Robine! I feel badly that it seems like you must "walk on eggshells" with her. Do you know what I mean?!? Eating sugar-free muesli doesn't sound like too bad of a "cheat" to me! ;)

Moreta: First of all, :welcome: to our group!!! Sorry to hear that you gained back all of the weight that you lost last year. :( That is SO frustrating!!! :( Weight gain from antipsychotic meds is very frustrating, too, since you need the meds but NOT the extra weight! I gained 60 pounds (years ago) during a year-long trial of Zyprexa. In addition to making me gain weight, it gave me an insatiable appetite which contributed to weight gain, too. I hated it! :( I am still trying to lose that weight (and more) to this day. :( I am not familiar with Fanapt or Latuda. I've hear of Geodon, but don't know much about it either. Good luck deciding which eating plan to follow. I thought about doing WW, too, but went instead with the DASH diet for weight loss. It has helped me to make the ONLY progress at all that I've been able to make in years! I've only been on it for two weeks, but so far, so good. I think I am going to continue the more restrictive Phase One this week again since I screwed things up at the end of this past week. Need to get a decent weight loss in to keep my motivation up! Best of luck to you on your weight loss journey! :)

03-09-2014, 07:59 AM
Hi everyone!

I'm new here and just wanted to say hi and share a little about me. I have anxiety and depression, and have loads of weight to lose due to trying heaps of different antidepressant meds and doses, plus chronic fatigue. Have a major fear of exercise but am determined to grit my teeth and make 2014 a healthier year. :wave:

03-09-2014, 04:30 PM
justagirlinthecity: Hello and :welcome3: to our group! Sorry that you have lots of weight to lose due to meds, anxiety, depression, and chronic fatigue. I can certainly relate! My trials with meds are in the past, and currently I am aiming to get off (or as low as possible) on my meds. But the weight remains. I am extremely weight loss resistant due to the meds I am on, but ~ like you said ~ I am determined to make 2014 a much healthier year! I have accepted that exercise needs to be part of the equation, but getting started is always a challenge for me. I have become much better at getting it done in the past several months, since I began working out with a trainer. Even at home, I am doing more than I used to. I almost ALWAYS feel better AFTER a workout, so I try to use that knowledge as motivation for the next workout. Why do you think you have a "major fear" of exercise? Maybe answering that question honestly (for yourself) is the best place to start. The biggest challenge for me right now is to keep my eating in check, which ~ for me ~ requires constant vigilance. When I stray much AT ALL, I pay for it on the scale. But if I deprive myself too much, I tend to set myself up for a binge. So I am constantly working on finding a healthy BALANCE. Best of luck to you on your weight loss journey! Keep on posting and we will cheer you on toward your goals! :cheer2: YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D

03-09-2014, 10:46 PM
lilturtle/Trish: Are you here??? I hope you are doing okay. Please post and let us know that you found the new thread! Haven't heard from you in too long! :(

03-09-2014, 11:00 PM
I like reading these posts because it shows I'm normal lol I had a horrible night the other night. I ate dinner then chowed down on some ice cream I stopped when my stomach started hurting. For the next 4 hours I wanted to eat even though my stomach still hurt I finally gave in and had an orange making my stomach ache worse:( the torture stop when I feel asleep. I don't know if it's just my stress causing me to go crazy or I'm just out of control

Hope everyone has a good spring break

03-10-2014, 01:48 AM
IBelieveInMe2: thank you! you are so sweet! It's nice to find somewhere to be myself and not feel judged. It's nice to know that somewhere, someone else understands and is going through something similar. :)
My fear of exercise is because my father had a major heart attack when I was 4. I was the one that had to call the ambulance, while mum put him in the recovery position. He wasn't overweight, was incredibly fit and for his job he had to carry a 60kg pack over mountains. It was a shock. The doctors couldn't explain it, but he came to believe that exercise could kill you & always pointed out to me the soccer players that collapsed on the field during a game etc. I grew up thinking exercise was bad, which was never a problem as I ate really healthily, until my chronic fatigue/meds. Now I have to undo it all. I've had therapy and logically I understand it isn't true, but as soon as I start feeling dizzy or out of breath, I remember dad having the same feelings during his heart attack. :(
Sorry for the long post.

03-10-2014, 03:09 AM
Hi everyone I'm new here but i hope to get to know you. Just to share a bit about me I started out at 255 and have lost 63 pounds and still counting. The problem is everybody tells me you look great, but i feel as big as ever. Is this a normal feeling or have i let my weight get to my head?

03-10-2014, 12:29 PM
Hi irisv62. I deal with the same feeling every day. I am "normal" but I still feel uncomfortable and fat all of the time as if I was still at my highest weight. You can feel big at any weight. Even "skinny-minis" feel huge and uncomfortable from time to time. Just don't lose sight of how much you have gained (or lost rather). When I need a reminder, I look at my German Shepherd, Eleanor. She represents about 60 pounds. It may not make me feel less physically uncomfortable but it does eliminate my reason for caring about feeling big in the first place.
Everything in perspective, I guess.

03-10-2014, 05:49 PM
I seem to be back on board (for the most part) with healthy eating. I have felt hungrier than usual this afternoon, but I am surviving. Dinner is near and I will choose wisely. I walked all three dogs yesterday and reinjured/reaggravated my plantar fasciitis. Podiatrist confirmed last Friday that I have a "good case" of it. :( I probably shouldn't have walked the dogs, but I really wanted to. At least I know now that I need to stay on the bike and wait longer to walk the dogs, and doc says I need to be 7 days pain-free before walking on treadmill again. :( I miss both the treadmill and walking my pups!!! But I will survive! At least I can do the bike. I just get bored with it. Feels like I am not getting as good of a workout. Doc gave me a shot of steroid in my ankle/heel for the plantar fasciitis. It helped, but I still have pain when I am on my feet. I swear, there is always something to interfere with my progress. But I am determined and I will NOT give up!!! :ebike:

irisv62 and Earthling: :welcome: to the group! iris, congrats on your 63 pound weight loss!!! That's great! Keep it rollin'!!! Just try to go with the compliments and let them give you incentive to continue. Not sure if still feeling big is "normal" or not. It just IS what it is. Try to be proud of yourself and acknowledge your efforts. Losing 63 pounds is not an easy thing to do!!! Earthling gave you good advice.

Desper8: Sorry you had a horrible night. I'm sure all of us here can relate to overeating and eating when not even hungry. You are not alone. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Just start again and do your best!

justagirl: That is too bad that you had that unfortunate and apparently traumatic experience at the age of 4 that still makes you fear exercise. I can see how that would be very difficult to let go of. I deal with so many messages I received growing up (spoken and unspoken) that feel impossible to overcome to this day. I try to "parent" myself with more positive messages. Tell yourself that exercise is good for your body and reassure yourself when you are feeling out of breath due to exertion that you are okay. I know that is easier said than done, but YOU CAN DO IT!!! :) Big hugs to you and your little 4-year-old self! :hug: :hug:

Waving HELLO :wave: to everyone else! Please post and let us know how you are doing.

03-10-2014, 11:58 PM
Hi earthling thanks for replying to my post. I feel much better knowing this is a normal feeling because i was beginning to think that it was wrong for me to think like that. I really like your idea using your German Shepard for comparison of the weight. Too bad i only have a 25 pound poodle, but i could use that comparison. Do you still dress the same because you feel the same or what do you do?

03-11-2014, 12:07 AM
Thanks for welcoming me to the group!! Glad to be here!! Thanks at times i feel the same as before but other days i try to acknowledge it and dress differently or more fancy. I think it just depends on the mood and those downs you have when you are losing weight.

03-11-2014, 12:56 PM
Hi everyone,

I am so happy to have joined this group. You all are so inspiring and helpful. I really enjoy hearing how you are doing, and it is so reassuring to hear that I am not the only one who has day-to-day struggles.

On that note, I was hoping to get some advice. I tend to do very well during the week - disciplined eating, lots of walking, cooking, etc. When the weekend comes around, that kind of goes out the window. I really hate this cycle.

Do you have any advice here? I know I should just force myself to stay in, continue to cook, etc, but eventually that becomes so uninspiring.

One other question: what do you guys do when you get a major craving for not great food? Yesterday, I got the biggest craving for fast food, and I am wondering what strategies you have for avoiding these temptations, especially when in the early stages of building up discipline and good habits.

03-11-2014, 11:38 PM
Thanks believe in me you are very nice for taking the time to resPond to all of us
it's been a little better so far

Fiona W
03-12-2014, 01:36 AM
Hey folks. I haven't posted in a few days because I've been so angry at something Bob did Sunday night I haven't been able to get my brain to function. But I think I can talk about it now.

Sundays are turning into our regular night for having our niece and her 7-yr-old son over, and somehow the conversation around the dinner table turned to the subject of sweets. =sigh= I didn't join in, of course, but there the three of them were, chatting away about chocolate and cake and banana bread and so on, going on about what sweets they like, which ones they don't like. If I were to repeat all the things they said about foods that are mostly sugar, I know it would drive you guys batty.

But I actually felt pretty well-defended and was handling it OK, until my husband brought up this stupid Internet game that's all guessed it: cookies. My nemesis. And of course since Bob was stressed by the social contact, he got sticky-obsessional and compulsive about describing absolutely everything about this cookie game, which apparently entails all different kinds of them, grandmas who bake them, factories that make them, planets that are covered with them, and so on and so on. Except that he wasn't saying "them" the way I did just now, he was repeating the word "cookies" over and over and over again, to the point where my brain got completely fried. So I asked him politely if he would stop talking about the game and stop saying the word "cookies." He looked at me, registered what I'd said, and then proceeded to keep going, describing more and more levels of the game, repeating the word "cookies" so many times, finally I blurted out, "Bob!! If there were someone at the dinner table who had just quit smoking, you wouldn't start going cigarette-cigarette-cigarette-cigarette, would you?" Which made everyone stare at me of course, and I got really embarrassed, so on top of being freaked out, I felt like a total fool.

I only quit binging on cookies at the end of November. It hasn't been that long, not to break a habit that lasted for decades. Thanks to what Bob did, I spent the rest of Sunday night, until 4 in the morning, in a painful state of cookie craving. Arrrrgggh! And he didn't really apologize, either. He acted as though I was unreasonable to be so mad at him.

Ever since that happened, I've had a really hard time getting food into myself. They say that restricting is the flipside of binging, that if you have Binge Eating Disorder (BED), which I'm in recovery from, that you run a risk of going to the other extreme, and restricting your food intake in a way that's self-destructive. It's all part of the anorexia-bulimia-BED spectrum of eating disorders.

Every time I take like a couple bites of salad or turkey, my stomach clamps down hard and starts hurting, like I'm not supposed to eat. I know it may sound like a great way to lose weight, but believe me, it's really miserable-making. Already, before this cookie game thing, I've been having trouble getting enough calories into myself. I rarely eat as much as 1000 calories a day, and I can tell that it's slowing my weight loss down, because I've been colder than usual and really lethargic and my stomach hurts a lot. That's been going on ever since my friend Robine cut off communication with me on January 29th.

The last two days...I've hardly been able to eat anything at all. I kind of tricked myself into eating some cheese sticks in the car on the way to the post office and back. But salad and sliced turkey, with some kind of fish about once a week, are the mainstays of my diet, and I'm having a heck of a time getting my stomach to accept them. This has never happened to me before, so I don't know how to deal with it. I've always been a binge-after-binge-after-binge kind of person. I've never had problems with restricting. I guess I need to find a book about it or something, but my brain is very fuzzy from being in semi-starvation mode.

Sorry to go on so much about myself, but I needed to talk about it and bring it out into the open, so it would be less scary. I'll let y'all know how things go. Tomorrow is another day. Maybe tomorrow I can talk Bob into making an omelet for me: I'm sure I could eat an omelet.

03-12-2014, 11:42 AM
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrated!!! :( I just wrote out a LONG post which included major personals to idgie_marie and Fi.............. and I LOST the post!!! :mad: And now I have to go work out and do errands. Don't know when I'll be able to take the time to answer you two (and others) again. :( I will make it as soon as possible!

Basically, idgie_marie, I try to find a healthier alternative to what I am craving (e.g., craving a chocolate one chocolate kiss) when an intense craving comes on. I find that if I restrict myself too much, the "forbidden" item becomes even more attractive to me and I end up pigging out on it eventually. If I absolutely HAVE to have something, I try to just have one or two bites. That is PROGRESS, especially in the beginning!!! Remember that it is about PROGRESS and NOT perfection! It doesn't have to be all or nothing! Oh, and on the weekends, try to have some sort of PLAN. They say that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I personally HATE planning ahead, but it really does help. I also like to really focus on the good things I did during the week (and how good I feel about myself when making healthy choices) and ask myself (before eating bad stuff or eating too much), "Is this really worth ruining all of the progress I made during the week?" I think about stepping on that scale and which action will take me to the desired result, and TRYING with all my might to choose wisely. It is so much easier said than done, but those are a few tips. I had written a bunch more, but oh well, it's lost in cyberspace!

Fi: I am so sorry that happened with Bob. Seems very insensitive to me, too. For me, communication is not a strong suit with hubby and I, so I just eventually need to LET GO of my anger and resentment in these situations. Not the healthiest option, I know, but the only way I can function again after such an incident. I try to talk about it if possible, but if he is being unreasonable, it is easier to deal with it on my own. It would be nice to have an apology or acknowledgement of some sort, wouldn't it?!? I hope you two will be able to discuss the situation and you can get some resolution. If not, just try to do your best to let the situation go and not beat yourself up about your "outburst" and don't keep replaying the situation in your mind. It is done with and YOU SURVIVED!!! That is the main thing. Life goes on. Use your "brain over binge" technique to fight off those cravings! You can do it, Fi! You are so strong!!! Sending you a big hug!!! :hug:

Okay, now I have to scoot! Doing pretty well on eating and exercise, but no more pounds lost.............. YET!!! I will NOT give up, darn it!!!!!

03-12-2014, 03:54 PM
Hi Everyone, I am following along.

Holly, He wasn't in the hospital for 2 weeks thankfully, but he was for a week and then we stayed in town another week while his parents were here. It was exhausting! It kind of broke down all of my food resolve and exercise resolve and then I started crying again and hiding in my bed... Sigh!

Fi, I am thinking strong thoughts for you. I spent many years of my life unable to eat/without being sick and it is not easy. I didn't find a solution until I started treating my anxiety(and it took another year or two for it to help!), so maybe talking things out with Bob would help to relieve those negative feelings and open up your stomach again. Or like Kathleen said, maybe taking some personal time to come to terms with the situation(internally not just interactively with hubby) would provide some relief for you. Just keep trying, some days are going to have time when you feel like eating, or when it is easier. I hope that soon it will clear up for you and I will be sending happy stomach thoughts your way.

I am struggling. Food wise, mood wise. It is always nice to come here, it helps to keep my head out of the black hole. I hate it when I feel so down and out of my own control, even though life is going well and the sun is back even. idk.

Hugs to everyone!

03-12-2014, 07:45 PM
Hi earthling thanks for replying to my post. I feel much better knowing this is a normal feeling because i was beginning to think that it was wrong for me to think like that. I really like your idea using your German Shepard for comparison of the weight. Too bad i only have a 25 pound poodle, but i could use that comparison. Do you still dress the same because you feel the same or what do you do?

I definitely dress differently. Are you kidding me? Now when I put on clothes or buy clothes (even though I am not at goal weight) if is not enough for them to "look good" as they did when I was larger. (Because it looking good would have been as good as it gets). Now they have to look spectacular for me to buy them. :)
But I do dress differently on days that I feel huuuuuuge. Oddly though, sometimes simply going to the gym for a little bit, or coming back from a Spin class, is enough to go from feeling huuuuuuuge to suddenly feeling fit.
I think feeling "fat" sometimes has more to do with endorphins. And whether or not you've got them running the gamut of the body at that moment. :)
But don't worry, with Downs always comes Ups.
Keep trusting yourself and sooner or later you'll just get more Ups than Downs.

Fiona W
03-13-2014, 09:14 PM
Thanks so much, Kathleen and Chelsea, for the supportive comments. It helped me a lot to make that long posting about what happened on Sunday night and how it was affecting my appetite & eating. I think I just went through a few days of being really angry at food in general for making me so miserable. Today I've been able to eat my turkey & salad & cheese sticks on schedule, so I'm not having those semi-starvation stomach aches anymore. =whew=

Where is everybody? Where's Trish? I wrote her a private message, but she hasn't replied to it. I'm worried about her.

03-15-2014, 10:18 PM
Hello sweeties,

I apologize for not checking in more. I started back to school and have been trying to adjust. The first 7 days was sooooooooo hard. My daughter was home from college and I could not get a schedule down and my anxiety went up. It was awful. I started to think I couldn't do school and having major doubts. I got some grades back and they were pretty good so I think I might be alright.

I have really missed posting here. My weight has not improved. I need for spring to get here so I can get outside. I need the sun.

My birthday will be here next month, I will be 47.

I promise to be here more often. I won't disappear again.

03-16-2014, 12:11 AM
Sorry I haven't posted the past couple of days. Things are the same here. I have had some slips in my eating lately, but still staying healthy for the most part. I skipped exercise the last few days. Need to get back on board with that ASAP!!! A bit frustrated with the constant vigilance required to lose any weight at all. :( But I will NOT give up!!! I can do it!!! :carrot:

ohiofreespirit: It's so great to hear from you! Sorry you had a rough week starting school, but good to hear that you are hanging in there and doing well with grades. You can do it!!! :)

Chelsea: Sorry to hear that you are struggling. :( Hang in there! Sending you a big hug! :hug:

Earthling: Good for you for waiting for the things that look spectacular on you! I like your advice for iris. :)

Fi: Happy to hear that you are able to eat on schedule again. I am glad that it helped you to post about that Sunday on here. Always feel free to vent here and share whatever helps you! We are here for you and we care! :hug:

Fiona W
03-16-2014, 11:38 PM
I've got the flu, guys. I got the shot last fall, so I'm hoping my immune system will be able to knock it out of the park pretty quickly. I've completely lost my appetite, but I'm trying to keep shoving around 1000 calories a day into myself—can't seem to handle any more than that.

03-18-2014, 01:28 AM
Fi: So sorry to hear that you have the flu! :( Hope you feel better soon! Sending a big hug! :hug:

Wow, did I ever go off my eating plan today while celebrating St. Patrick's Day! :o Back on board tomorrow morning. Need to get consistent with exercise again, too. I've slipped recently. Still working out with trainer twice a week, but not doing as much cardio on my own the past couple of weeks. :( Someone please send me some :dust: quickly!!!!!

Fiona W
03-19-2014, 12:16 AM
I'm pleased to report that the flu or whatever it was is gone as today, but just to keep me on my toes, my silly ol' brain delivered some serious depression pain for a few hours this morning. Oh well. Tonight I finally finished a pesky collage I've been working on for so long I was sick of it. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll be back up to full speed on my art and my letter-writing, because I've signed up for so much stuff I can't afford to fall behind.

I'm still having trouble getting enough food into myself—just don't have any appetite. It's very weird, definitely not my usual style. I hope these low-calorie days mean I'm losing weight. Saturday is my monthly weigh-in, and already I'm wondering what the scale will have to say.

Now I need to sign off and try to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I hope tomorrow will be a nice day, so I can take a stab at taking a walk. Or at least get back with the program with my leg exercises...I've really slacked off lately. =sigh=

03-19-2014, 12:21 PM
Hello! I am sorry it's been so long since I've said hey here :(

:welcome: to the new chicks!! Yes this is a great supportive place

I am just disgusted with myself that I am so weak-willed to not be able to stick to normal calories or eating. Really bad, sigh.

Fi I was boiling with anger also about the c**kies story! sorry about the flu and hope it is gone. I have to say I have never had a problem getting enough calories INTO me but as that can be a problem also I hope your stomach probs stop. Can you describe what your leg exercises were/are?

Kathleen, here is some :dust::dust:

Ohio, yay to you for managing to go back to school and getting some good grades! :carrot:

Earthling, I LOVE your faith that 'with downs comes ups', that give me hope.

Chelsea, I am sorry that you are struggling...we think we'll be OK when things are going smoothly and the sun is out, and when it doesn't happen, it is rotten isn't it.

irisV62 WOW congrats on losing over 60 lbs!! :carrot: I hope you can adjust to deservedly feeling a heck of alot smaller :)

Hi idgie_marie :) I wish I had specific tips/advice for your question on how to stay on track on the weekends, I do awful all the time lately :( so I'm no help. My only saving from fast food is that there is one fast food place 5 miles from our home, lol and I am too lazy to go out for that.

Hi Desper8, I guess we have all had awful binges when we are not hungry yet we stuff anyway. There are specifics in our psyche that are making us do that and somehow we have to try to find why we need to 'fill' an empty that is not even there sometimes .

justagirl, that is so very tragic that your dad had that incident when you were so young and it has affected you ever since.

I have been sleeping SO much lately, I just don't care. I don't see any reason to get out of bed, on my days off. I mean, I do the basics..dishes, vacuum, take care of the dog, maybe work out..then back to bed :( I love summer so much, with my great summer job, my motorcycle, just enjoying the beautiful Vermont countryside, yet right now that seems so far away as to be impossible.

Also HATING my current winter job boss, that he takes tip money from the jar, the cheap b@stard!! and makes horrible and mean comments about "fat" customers. His wife does, also. I am so self conscious to try to eat in front of them, I have a 7 hour shift and come on, doesn't a person get hungry in 7 hours?? and I bring my yogurt from home and stand n teh corner to try to eat/slurp it down in less than 2 minutes but then a customer comes in and I have to put it down to wait on them, while the boss just watches me. I HAVE brought it up, that I want 5 minutes away from people to eat, and he is just an a-hole, 'oh, Holly needs time to EAT, well I guess we can change things around so Holly can EAT something' .

OK work rant over :rolleyes:

03-19-2014, 12:27 PM
Oh I guess I do have something positive to say :p I had to go to our family doc for him to OK my Wellbutrin refill, I had not been to the doctor in over 2 years (usually just for antibiotics for sinus infections every 2 or 3 years) and he said he wanted to make sure I had a pulse, LOL.

So he did a mini check up, listened with stethescope, took blood pressure, and I had to step on the scale (160) but he said "that's a good heart" when he listened to my chest; and said my blood pressure was 'good' (I think 130/80)

I guess that is enough to keep me working out, even though I am not doing enough for weight loss, I am keeping my heart strong and managing good b/p.

03-19-2014, 03:35 PM
VermontMom: that is wonderful to hear about your heart & blood pressure! I think you're right: sometimes we get so caught up in the number on the scale, but really, the reason we should be doing all of this hard work is to keep our heart healthy. I am so sorry to hear about your jerk boss. Just reading about him made my blood boil. I have also been struggling with fatigue lately, and I have all of my fingers & toes crossed that spring has finally peaked through.

Fiona: do happy to hear you are feeling better! Were you able to get outside for a walk? I hope so!

IBelieve: Sending you some will power dust! :)

The winter finally seems to have broke here in Chicago. Who knows if it will last, but it has been a big lift to my spirit. I have been struggling with chronic fatigue - just no energy - and working from home doesn't help that. It got up to 50 degrees yesterday, so my dog and I went on a nice 30 minute jog/walk. It was so lovely. I have begun the couch-to-5k program to have some type of structure.

Hope you all are doing well! Sending lots of positive thoughts! :)

03-19-2014, 07:08 PM
Hello Support Buddies! I am pretty much back on board today with eating and exercise, but I still feel incredibly weak-minded. :( I feel like I am being tempted at every turn. :devil: My head says don't give in, but my stomach wants to give in to poor food choices. We have plans to go somewhere healthy for dinner, so I should be okay tonight. Then, I HAVE to fast after 8:45pm tonight because I am getting blood work drawn in the morning for my medication management. I dread stepping on that d@mn doctor's scale tomorrow!!! :( Every time I see my weight where it is now, I get depressed and feel so defeated. :cry: It takes all of the internal might and positive self-talk I can muster up to fight the negative feelings. That is where my mindset is right now. Since I have been off the wagon the past several days, I feel so BIG all over. I'm sure you all know the feeling. I am reading a book about willpower right now in hopes of helping me snap out of this funk. I will feel better sooner or later, but please keep the :dust: coming!!! I need all the help I can get!!!

Fi: Happy to hear that you are already feeling better. I hope you can get your caloric intake back up to a healthy level soon, if you haven't already. I have NEVER had that problem and I can't even imagine it! I hope you took that walk and got back on board with leg exercises!

Holly: It's so great to hear from you!!! Thank you for all of the :dust:! It is slowly helping. I just hate your winter boss!!! :p Can't wait for your summer job to start. When is that again?!? Counting down the days for you! GREAT that your heart and blood pressure checked out good at your doctor's office! And I'd take 160 lbs any day!!! ;) I am sorry that you are disgusted with yourself, though. I can soooooooo relate!

idgie_marie: Thank you, too, for the :dust:! I really need it!!! 50 degrees and a nice walk with your dog sounds wonderful!!! Our Ohio weather has been a rollercoaster ride. No surprise, I guess. Best of luck to you on the couch-to-5k program!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D

Waving hello to everyone else! :wave: Please post when you can and let us know how things are going. I am still worried about Trish! She hasn't posted in March at all. :( I hope she is okay.

03-19-2014, 09:05 PM
Hello ladies.

I just wanted to check in and let you know I am still here. Things are going pretty well. Life is going good, school is going alright, hectic but alright. I am taking it one day at a time.

My eating hasn't been going very good though. I have been eating too much. :(

I am anxious for warm weather to get here. I am going to buy myself a bicycle and get outside. I hope I can still ride one. LMAO

As for school, I took an exam last week and only scored a 22/30, not good. I just have to do better on my next one.

I hope you all are doing well.

Fiona W
03-19-2014, 10:33 PM
ohiofreespirit— I am SO glad to hear that you're feeling better! Don't fret too much over your eating or your weight or your exam: all those things will begin to get better now that your head is back in the game. Remember to give yourself positive feedback for what you're doin' right, not any negative feedback at all.

Kathleen— Ditto for you on the positive feedback! Here's what I did last year to get myself into that mindset: I hung a wall calendar in my kitchen (put it where you'll see it like 50 times a day) and for every day I stayed on plan with healthy eating, I highlighted that whole day in a bright happy color. I paid no attention to the days with no highlighter: I just focused, month to month, on having more and more days colored in. If I had an off-plan day, I was much more likely to get right back in the saddle again, because I wanted to see that highlighted day. And it was good for Bob, too, because if he looked at the calendar and saw a long string of highlighted days, he would say something like, "Hey, you're doin' great on your eating plan!" Sure enough, month by month, I got to the point where all the days were highlighted. Try it!

idgie_marie— That's great you're havin' some better weather and even more great that you're taking advantage of it to get out and move! That couch to 5K thing sounds wonderful: I know a couple of other gals that're doing it. You go girl!

Holly— Good for you that you got some good feedback from your doctor: it's always a real boost to me when that happens. Here's how I do 600 leg lifts a night (and I did them tonight—yay!): First of all, I alternate legs between days, so each leg gets a whole day of rest before it has to work again. I do 5 sets of 120 lifts, 60 on my back and 60 on my side so I'm working different muscles. In between sets, while I'm catching my breath, I work the lower leg on that side by doing flexion-extension at the ankle. (I don't count how many on the lower legs.) I do it on my couch while listening to rock-n-roll, so it feels like dancing and it's fun. That's it! (But unless you're already in good shape, don't start with sets of 120: I had to work my way up to that.)

Y'all wanna see something funny I made? I made this collage ( and then a fellow collage artist animated it for me: click on it for a larger version. (

03-20-2014, 12:34 AM
Hello everyone!!!! I just joined today and started jumping for joy when I saw there is a forum for those who struggle with depression and are overweight!!!! FINALLY!!!! MY KIND OF PEOPLE LOL. I have read a little about some of you and hope to get to know you much better. I'll start off with a little about myself. I am 24 years old and a drug and alcohol counseling major. I will be graduating in the next year, not a moment too soon! Addiction really speaks to me because I struggle with my own. I battled with bulimia for 7 years. during which time I lost almost 100 pounds. I decided to seek help when I was 19 years old. I gained a little bit of weight but maintained at a healthy 150lbs for almost 4 years. Then, about a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD and OCD. I have finally found meds that work really well for me but I have gained over 100lbs in this last year. I'm not sure if its the meds or the depression. I guess it doesn't really matter. The point is that I have a lot of weight to lose and know I need help to do so. January 1st I started a diet consisting of 1200 calories and exercising 6 times per week. It had been almost three months and I have only lost 8 pounds total. I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP!!!! I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I have my first appointment with a nutritionist in a couple days. I am determined to do this and I thought a forum like this would be a great support system to help me get by between my nutritionist appointments. I am open to ANY feedback. I look forward to getting to know you all!!

03-20-2014, 10:40 AM
:welcome: to 1llife2lily! :) first, wow I admire your dedication to education and will to help others with your particular major! second, congrats on being on plan since January with a sensible plan; I think I also would want to give up but DON'T!!! some of us are slow losers! I could look up in my journals that I think I also was perfect-on-plan for 2 months or so and had barely lost 8 pounds, and that was a big switch from eating everything, to about 1500 calories. Anyway, hang in there!! this is a lovely bunch of chicks :)

03-20-2014, 10:59 AM
Kathleen, sorry you're struggling! I don't know when it's worse, to have one's head OR stomach fighting our good decisions. I hope maybe you'll have a pleasant surprise when you step on the scale at the doctor's. What is the current book you are reading, about will-power?

I kinda berated myself for saying I felt disgusted with myself at 160, when that might be a goal weight for others..I just know how I feel so much smaller and better at even 150 and positively tiny at below 145. And get this - there is a lady at work, I really like her, she's positive and friendly and a hard worker; she is TINY, maybe 5'1" but tiny birdy legs, hips and arms :D Probably a size 2?? She knows she weighs 126 and she feels huge...yes!! :( She feels best at 120 so she feels that she is way overweight.

Here's alot of this stuff for us!! :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:

03-20-2014, 11:02 AM
Hi Ohio :wave: and Fi, that animated postcard collage was great! :D Kathleen, my last day at current crappy winter job is next month!! Either Sun. the 13th or Mon. the 14th. The owner actually closes the store for over 2 weeks, so they can go on vacation. Since they close the business, we workers can actually get a week or 2 of unemployment benefits. Then I am able to start at my summer job the first week of May. We need time to open up the kitchen, get the water running, take items out of storage, get food and supplies in; then the actual Opening Day (yes we refer to it in Capital letters, lol because it is a big deal) is around May 14th.

Sorry my posts are all separate and not together, and stuff not in bold or italics..I am struggling still with this @$%&%*^ Windows computer; I used to EFFORTLESSLY be able to cut, paste, whatever in a post to make it better but not anymore..spent 15 minutes trying to freakin 'select' and copy/paste but cannot figure it out. I miss my Mac so very much :( so my posts are boring.

Fiona W
03-20-2014, 11:52 PM
Jeez, are any of y'all Bipolar? I've been having trouble lately with surges of dysphoric (very unpleasant) mania. It kind of goes with the no-appetite, working-all-the-time, hardly-getting-any-sleep brain set I've been in lately. When I was young, before I became Bipolar, I used to have over-the-top happiness: long stretches, or at least long evenings, of euphoric hypomania. But now that I'm Bipolar, the only kind of mania I have is the yucky kind, where I feel like I'm buzzing on the inside, or as if I'm about to explode. The closest thing I can compare it to is a big-time caffeine overdose, if you've ever experienced that. (I only drink two cups of coffee in the morning—no other caffeine at all.) I take Clonapin for it, but it takes a high dose to chill me out when I'm in that state. =sigh= I hope I level out into a tolerable medium phase soon, because all this agitation and distraction and being so wired I can't eat or sleep is for the birds!

03-21-2014, 02:10 PM
Hello All, I'm new here too. I never have had a problem with my weight until 15 yrs ago when I lost my teenaged son to a drowning accident. The subsequent depression helped me pack on 80lbs until I reached 233 lbs. Now I want to finally put that horrible event behind me, by losing the weight I gained following my son's death. I am taking Phentermine and have been on it for three days and am down 5lbs, which I'm sure is water weight but it still feels like progress. I am a healthy eater but do NO exercise to speak of. I am going to change that soon! We have an exercise bike in the garage that my husband is going to bring in the house.

That's my weight gain story, i look forward to getting to know you better!

03-21-2014, 03:32 PM
Semperfiddle- welcome!!!! So sorry to hear about your son. Its amazing to hear that you are ready to start the next phase of you're life and become healthy again. I wish you the best of luck with everything and hope to be here with you through you're journey.

Fiona- I have not been diagnosed with bipolar but I have worked with lots of people who were and I too have many of the same symptoms. Sorry you're struggling right now. What always seems to help me when I'm having an episode is to soak in some sunlight. If that's not possible I go to the tanning bed. I know it may sound crazy but the vitamin d really does help. Keep us posted.

Vermontmom- you talk about you're friend from work and it reminds me of myself. I remember being 125 and thinking I was so fat and now its a dream to be you're weight again lol. I think self esteem really plays into my journey a lot though. I'm afraid that if I were back down to 160 , I would still be unsatisfied.

Sooooo I'm breaking down today and having a lady give me a quote for cleaning my house. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. But I'm a parent, go to school full time and work a full time job. My husband works 80 hours per week. I just feel so overwhelmed all the time. I also have OCD so a messy house really effects my mood and makes me feel out of control. Hopefully this helps... until next time. Everyone take care and live large ��

03-21-2014, 04:40 PM
Hello and welcome new friends!

Fi, I am also bi-polar. I know that feeling!!! All that is helpful to me in that state is meditation and breathing exercises to bring my mind back from the discomfort and ick(and total irritability if I'm honest). If you are a writer I hear that can be helpful also. I love your collage, and it is so funny! I got a really good laugh out of it :)

Kathleen, Thinking of you! What book are you reading? I could use some willpower inspiration myself. How are you doing with everything since your last post?

Holly! I am so glad that you are almost done with your winter job and onto sunnier things! I am also glad that you brought up the issue of perspective in how weight affects all women, it's something that I have been thinking about a lot lately and struggling with. Overcoming a negative self image is not easy, even if you have really gone far or if you should feel great about how you look or how much you weigh. I guess I would call it mind over mass :) I'm not sure where that was going but I appreciate that you said something about it.

Ohio, it is good to hear from you. How exciting that you are in school! I am glad to hear that you are doing better and taking things as they come. A bicycle in the summer is so nice, I hope that will be something you really enjoy :) It's probably what I miss most since moving out of town.

I am conflicted and depressed right now, and feel trapped in my job. It is not conducive to healthy eating. Or really anything but sleeping a lot. Still hanging in there though, trying not to eat sweets, and to not drive my partner totally crazy.

Hugs and strength to everyone!

03-21-2014, 10:44 PM
Hello All, I'm new here too. I never have had a problem with my weight until 15 yrs ago when I lost my teenaged son to a drowning accident. The subsequent depression helped me pack on 80lbs until I reached 233 lbs. Now I want to finally put that horrible event behind me, by losing the weight I gained following my son's death. I am taking Phentermine and have been on it for three days and am down 5lbs, which I'm sure is water weight but it still feels like progress. I am a healthy eater but do NO exercise to speak of. I am going to change that soon! We have an exercise bike in the garage that my husband is going to bring in the house.

That's my weight gain story, i look forward to getting to know you better!

:welcome: to you Semperfiddle! first..I know you don't know me, but as a parent...i am so sorry :( :( :( of your tragedy. I won't speak of it much more if you care not to, but felt I had to say at least that.

second..I applaud you for losing weight no matter if it's water or not :D I bet you will burn up that exercise bike. Kudos for being a healthy eater!

third ...I don't really have a third :) just nice to have you here!

Fi - I must say I've not experienced symptoms like that...I'm too sluggish I guess, lol. Well I do remember posting here last summer, saying how glad I was that I was consistently feeling 'good' but its never manic or high.

Kathleen - here's some more of that sparkly stuff 'cause it's so pretty :dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust::dust:

OK I drove home in a rage, due to something my boss did today. THere is a customer who is more friendly than he should be, he would hug me tight if I let him (ew!! why would I ? he is a creepy Montreal lawyer who is 20 years older than me, and it's not even MY store or MY customer!!) idiot boss started telling this guy that I was a motorcyclist, that i had a big motorcycle, what a bad *** I was, etc.., and he should have KNOWN that would make this guy think he could then make comments about 'hot motorcycle chicks' and stuff like that...

so YES the customer got all stupid and loud and vocal about stuff like that, then said "I want a ride with you, I'd hold on real tight like this!" and comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, clutching me tight against my midriff!!! I immediately pulled his arms off me and stepped back and said "NO THAT Is NOT COOL" and they all laugh it off...he walked away and i said in a low voice to my boss 'it is NOT okay for yur customers to put their f******g hands on me'! and he just laughs it off too!!!

i BOILED in anger for an hour...then confronted idiot boss and said, 'do not EVER give personal information like that to anyone again! You should have known that would make him all crazy and a jerk and I am pissed at being groped by your f****ng customer!'

he says, "oh, I'm sorry, I hear ya" and that was so lame, I said 'I don't think you do!!' and got my coat and walked up to a co worker and said "I'm gonna sit in my car for a while" and I did that. I have NEVER walked out on teh job before in anger, in 40 years of working.

So I cooled off, came back inside, started working again. Idiot boss came up to me and said "I'm gonna yell at that guy tomorrow, what's wrong with him" and oh my god! I almost exploded again, I almost yelled 'it was YOUR fault for starting it!" and he just does not get it.

THis job end in mid-April, then I go to my wonderful summer job, but for years, I would work for said idiot on Wedesday afternoons, just to keep in touch and for a bit of gas money, but i'm telling him tomorrow that I am not going to do that this summer...and I might just bite it and have to find a different winter job this November.

03-21-2014, 10:50 PM
Oh and despite the sign outside the building that says Store Hours - 6:30 am to 6:00 pm, tons of people still flocking into the store when I'm trying to close..and wanting sliced meat from the deli...i told one lady "it is really hard for me to get you something from the (closed!) deli when I have to take care of other people at the register" and she says, "oh thank you so much!" WTF?? So I get her ****, I left the fatty parts of the meat I had to trim all over the counter, and finally got rid of all teh customers, locked the door 15 minutes after 6, did the final closing chores, and left a hastily scrawled note in the deli - "DO NOT EXPECT ME HERE UNTIL AT LEAST 11:15 TOMORROW, YOUR F*****G CUSTOMERS CANNOT READ 'STORE HOURS' AND I HAD TO SLICE/TRIM THEIR S***

( I do not get paid a cent more for staying late, that's why i resent it so much)

Okay i am done screaming for the night :D

Fiona W
03-22-2014, 03:06 AM
Just droppin' in quickly to say I had a better day today—no depression, no mania. But I have a ton of work to do because I want to make two collages this weekend. Thanks for the supportive comments from everyone, and Holly, I am SO there with you in your rage at your boss! I can't stand being touched like that when I don't want it, and I admire you for being so pro-active about it. G'night, y'all...

03-22-2014, 11:49 AM
Hi ladies,

i hope this post finds you well.

Holly, it sounds like you have had a rough time lately. I'm so sorry. This is a great place to vent. I'm so glad we could be here for you. *hug*

Chelsea, I am so sorry you feel trapped in your job. I love mine so it hurts me so when people are unhappy in theirs. You sound so unhappy. *hug*

1life, I am glad you are having someone to clean your house. I hope it helps improve your mood. *hug*

Semperfiddle, Welcome to the thread. We are thrilled to have you here. Thank you for sharing your story with us. *hug*

Fi, I, too, am bi-polar. I mostly have trouble with my lows though. I am so sorry you are having trouble with it lately. *hug* I hope you come out of it soon.

I have to get ready for work. I will check back in soon. Much love to you all.

03-22-2014, 03:59 PM
Hello all! Sorry I didn't have time to write the past couple days. I am slowly getting back on board, but something interesting came up this morning. I just had annual routine bloodwork done for the medication I am on, and my psychiatrist's office called and said that my thyroid levels were low. I haven't heard from my primary doc (who took the blood work) yet, so I'm not sure how low my levels were, but I am hoping that maybe that is why I've only gained and had such an incredibly hard time losing weight. Not that I want to take yet another med, but maybe my thyroid has been the culprit. I will keep you posted.

ohiofreespirit: Happy to hear that you are taking one day at a time and hanging in there. Hope you follow through on buying a bicycle and getting outside. :bike2: That would definitely help your mood! Our Ohio weather is still crazy, but hopefully we will have more warm days than cold soon. I can certainly relate to eating too much. I have had a HUGE appetite lately. Trying to eat only healthy things or resist eating extra stuff in that case is a real challenge.

Fi: I like your idea of a wall calendar with highlights, but I am afraid that I would be too hard on myself and not award myself enough highlighted days. I am so hard on myself that when I eat any extras, even if healthy or somewhat healthy, I consider it a downer day. :( I know, I know..... not good! I will work on positive feedback only. That, too, is difficult for me. But I can do it!!! Your collage with the fish is hilarious! Is that the real YOU in the pictures? I am also bipolar, but have only had one serious manic episode. Other than that, my mania typically manifests itself through irritability. Sorry you had that manic experience. Glad to hear that you are feeling better already, though! Hang in there and keep on posting! I love hearing from you. :)

1life2liv: :welcome2: to our group! So happy you found us! It is good that you finally found the meds that work for you, but ~ yes ~ I know all too well that it often comes at a weight gain cost. Same here! :( My depression is well under control, but it is difficult now to not be depressed about my weight. I am at my all-time high and my weight just seems to creep up and never go down, despite my efforts for awhile now. I recently lost 6 pounds on a new diet, which was the first weight I have been able to lose in YEARS, but I think I gained most or all of it back already. :cry: I will NOT give up on myself, though. I just HAVE to keep trying! Your drug and alcohol addiction major sounds so interesting and admirable, especially since you have personal experience with it. We have a lot of addiction in our extended family, so I am really interested in the subject, too. We need more good people in that field..... like YOU! :) How did your appointment with the nutritionist go? I might end up working with one, too, because I am in the same boat ~ really weight loss resistant. Hey, take that 8 pound loss and BE PROUD of it!!! You worked hard for that and your efforts will continue to pay off if you keep up the good work. You are probably gaining muscle, too, which weighs more than fat, as you probably know. Just don't give up on yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy, too!!! :D Good for you for getting help with cleaning your house. It is OKAY to ask for help, especially when working as hard as you are. I say GO FOR IT!!! ;)

Holly: Please don't berate yourself for feeling fat at 160! That was not my intent at all. All of our various weights are personal and relative to our own experience. I would just LOVE to be back DOWN to 160 right now is all I was sayin'! I dream of the day............ and I will get there....... eventually!!! :D The current book I am reading is called The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It. I haven't even read enough yet to recommend it or not. I go in spurts (of reading and non-reading) with my books. I have a hard time retaining what I read. I just hope to get ONE good piece of advice out of each self-help book that I read. I will let you know if it's worth the read. Thank you so much for sending me all of the :dust:!!! I sooooooo need it! Please keep it comin'!!! ;) OMGosh, your boss is such a royal jerk!!! I can't believe he told personal information about you to a customer.......... and for that customer to then lay his filthy hands on you is just out of line!!!!!!!! I am so happy to hear that you let your boss have it, even if he still doesn't get it. I don't blame you for feeling outraged ~ at both your boss and the customer!!! You do NOT deserve that kind of treatment!!! :mad: BTW, thank you so much for welcoming the new chicks to our group in my absence. I was so happy to see that you did that! :hug:

Semperfiddle: :welcome3: to our group! I am so very sorry to hear about the drowning death of your teenage son. :cry: I lost a newborn twin son to extreme prematurity 18 years ago, so I can somewhat relate to the intense heartbreak of the death of a child. I cannot imagine having him for years and then losing him, though! Understandably, you were devastated. I applaud you for wanting to finally move on and put the weight gain from that time behind you. That is how I feel with my weight gain after the death of my son and the birth (3 years later) of my handicapped daughter. I feel like I am finally getting my life back in order after a series of traumatic events back then, but the weight remains. I really want to lose the weight and move on. It is difficult for me, but I know it HAS to be possible, so I won't give up on myself, despite being very weight loss resistant due to several factors, including the meds I'm on and now, possibly a low thyroid problem (just discovered). CONGRATULATIONS on your 5 pound weight loss!!! Keep it rollin'!!! Good luck on beginning to exercise. :ebike: That will definitely help speed up your weight loss. YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D Sending you a big hug for all you've been through! :hug: So happy that you posted!

Chelsea: Thanks for asking about me. I appreciate your concern. I am doing better, but really frustrated with my weight. I feel so incredibly fat most of the time and I am sick of feeling that way. :( I will assume you read the above info about my potential thyroid problem and the name of the willpower book I am reading. Don't want to repeat too much and bore all of you to death. :lol: It is so great to hear from you! So sorry that you feel conflicted and depressed and trapped in your job. :( Vent all you want here. We care about you and want you to be happy!!! :hug: Please hang in there and do your best to take care of yourself in the meantime!

Fiona W
03-23-2014, 12:13 AM
Well, I'm so discouraged I can hardly see straight. I only weigh myself once a month, and today was my weigh-in. The scale put me up 2 pounds since last month—which is basically flatline. I know there are about 17 reasons why I might have hit a plateau, which include chronic undereating, lousy sleep, inconsistency about doing my leg exercises, no walking (because of snow!), lots of stress, not drinking enough water, blah blah blah. Obviously my metabolism slowed way down, and being nearly 60 doesn't help: it's SO much harder to lose weight now than during my 30s, it isn't even funny.

But still... I was consistently eating a very low-carb diet all month long. And low-carb works for me. It's how I've lost the 67 pounds so far. I only had one sugary treat during the whole month, which was a large cookie about a week ago. Obviously having one treat a month doesn't constitute cheating. Will power about eating right is not my problem.

I don't need advice about what to do differently. I know all the ways in which I need to tune up my act, and I know how to jumpstart my metabolism. I just need sympathy for being really discouraged, angry even. I'm glad I only weigh myself once a month, because f**ked-up mood from today's weigh-in cost me a whole day I really needed to devote to collage. I'm behind schedule on three different projects—yuck. I just hope I can get to sleep at a reasonable hour tonight, and wake up tomorrow ready for a re-set. And thank God it's spring!

Thanks to all of y'all who had nice things to say about my "fish faces" collage. No, Kathleen, the woman making the faces is not me.

03-23-2014, 04:55 PM
Fi: No advice here; just sympathy because I can so relate to trying very hard and not making progress. The scale only seems to creep UP for me. It is SOOOOOOOOO discouraging!!!!! :( Sorry that your hard work eating low-carb didn't pay off on the scale. I hope you are indeed resetting yourself today and putting that weigh-in behind you. Today is a new day and I KNOW you can do this!!! Hang in there, my friend! :hug:

03-24-2014, 12:23 AM
Hi friends,

I am online working on homework. I am trying to keep up with it. They are really pouring it on right now. I'm not doing great on the tests they are giving. :(

Fi, I am sorry you gained a couple of pounds. I have no idea what i weigh right now but I know I haven't been eating very well lately.

I am still waiting for the warm spring weather here in Ohio.

I hope you all are doing well.

03-24-2014, 10:09 AM

Kathleen - Oh gosh..I hope you don't have to take another medication also, BUT if your thyroid is the culprit, then how great would it be to get that under control and maybe it will stop messing with your hard work! And you need never apologize for not writing every few days, as your posts are so personal and caring :)

Fi - all sympathy for that wretched scale not reflecting a month of very low carb! :mad: I would be hoppin' mad...ugh. We are all rooting for you and maybe that dopey gain will whoosh away, and take a couple more pounds with it! And it is really kewl that one of your fellow artists was so taken with your Fish Faces that he took the time to animate it.

Ohio, I hope you can keep up with the homework, I admire you so much for being in school :cool:

Chelsea - so sorry you're feeling trapped and depressed. And oh boy how that can mess with our eating. Yes we can only hope our partners don't want to strangle us for our venting, lol. "Mind over mass"...that's good! we just have to try to overcome our negative self-images, somehow.

THANKyou for everyone's indignation at my recent work troubles...the 'hand-sy' customer came in yesterday, entered the deli work area as usual, and started to talk about what a great day of skiing it was..I approached him right away and quietly yet intently said..'what you did the other day was So out of NEVER put your hands on anyone again like that!' and he says...all shocked..'did I hurt you?' me - " is assault..if we were in a crowd I would have punched you'... He tries to look sincere and starts to apologize, I just stare at him, and do not accept the apology. I then interrupt and said "I'm working" and went back to my sandwich station.

So my awful boss says nothing about this, we just keep assembling sandwiches (it was super busy) and my hands were shaking..i was so angry that boss says nothing about this, so i let the eff bomb drop on him, and he starts throwing things around, it was not a happy time, lol.

He did follow the hand-sy customer outside and I do not know what was said. If my boss had ANY sense he would have told me that he addressed the situation , but if i had a million dollars, I would bet that my boss dissed me for being overreactive.

Today I have to ask boss what was said. Because I have a preliminary investigative questionnaire for the State's Attny' office all filled out and just have to hit 'send' .

Fiona W
03-24-2014, 04:41 PM
Thanks so much for the sympathy for my weight plateau! I didn't feel ready for a re-set yesterday because I had a crappy day due to one of those deadly "mixed" episodes that many bipolars know about—when you have depression pain at the same time as feeling really hyper & wired-up. It lasted for several hours, I took a couple of different meds to try to stop it, but finally what helped was having a half-cup of muesli with cream. Yes, friends, it's my "magic muesli" again: this is the second time it's happened that I got to feeling really out of sorts, bipolar-wise, while following a very low-carb diet. After eating that muesli, I felt so much more like myself, it was amazing.

Why muesli? Well, it just happens that Familia brand muesli is something both Bob and I like, so it's in the house all the time, and it's the healthiest way on hand for me to get a quick slug of carbos. So today I went out and bought a box of my own, because I prefer the sugar-free kind, whereas Bob's has sugar in it. I'm going back to having a half-cup serving a day, with a bit of cream (because cream has almost no carbs, and I love it). That should also have the effect of adding some much-needed calories back into my diet. I think I can get away with skipping the muesli, though, on the days when I do intermittent fasting.

As for exercise, it's a gorgeous day today in the DC area—a bit nippy, but the redbuds and forsythia are in bloom all over my neighborhood—so I hope I can get myself out the door for a walk. No matter what, I will do my leg exercises tonight to the rock-n-roll radio show (no commercials!) I'm into. And I've been drinking more water, as promised.

Sorry I don't have time for personal comments today: I lost most of another day yesterday to screwed-up mood, so I absolutely have to take advantage of the good mood I'm in now to work on art projects that are behind schedule.

03-25-2014, 05:59 AM
Thank you all for the nice warm welcome! I am down another 2 lbs, did a lot of walking this weekend.

I signed up for an online writer's workshop today, it starts May 2. I'm really looking forward to it. I don't think I mentioned I'm a freelance writer.

Looking forward to checking in with you all on a regular basis. Oh, and how do I add a weight tracker to my posts. I have a ticker, just don't know how to add it to my signature. Thanks!

Fiona W
03-25-2014, 04:34 PM
Semperfiddle— Congrats on your 2 pounds down, and way to go on the walking! You have to make a certain number of postings over a certain number of days before you can put your ticker in your signature. I think the number is 25, but I'm not sure: it could be 20. At any rate, just keep posting every day, in any thread, and you'll get there. Once you do, you click on "User CP" in the upper lefthand corner, and then on "Edit Signature" and you'll be able to add your ticker. They have that rule because the site was having trouble with spammers. Oh, and by the way, I'm a writer, too: I haven't published anything for several years because I got into making collage, but I used to write essays, book reviews, and a column, and I have a half-finished rough draft of an autobiographical novel—actually a memoir with the names and other details changed a bit. I'm strictly a nonfiction writer—no fiction. Have fun with your workshop!

03-25-2014, 09:18 PM
Cool Fiona, I'm strictly a non-fiction writer myself, unless you count the one book of fiction I wrote but never published. I'd like to do a memoir but I have a hard time delving into the past; it's why I have depression now! (my childhood experiences, that is)

I had a good day today...stuck to my calorie goal even though I splurged on half a Big Mac at dinner.

Take care all, I'll check in tomorrow!

03-25-2014, 10:25 PM
Semplefiddle, what an accomplishment, writing a book! but I'm sorry that the memoir would be hard for you due to childhood experiences.

Fi, Oh my gosh, forsythia blooming?? how nice that must be! I don't miss much of New Jersey, where I grew up, except for the memory of actual hedges of forsythia! we won't get blooming stuff here til May.

03-25-2014, 11:15 PM
Hello Support Buddies! Well, after 2 days of waiting to hear back from the doctor, I finally found out today that my doctor said my bloodwork "looks perfect." I asked about my thyroid levels, since my psychiatrist had called to say they came back low. The nurse said, "Well, your T3 and T4 levels WERE low, but your TSH level was normal," so basically he doesn't want to do anything but follow up with me in a few months. I'm kind of bummed because I thought maybe some of my extreme weight loss resistance might be due to a low thyroid, which could be treated. So I guess I am just stuck with this weight until I can somehow manage to lose it. :cry: I had a crappy day today for several reasons and chose to eat my comfort food ~ McDonald's fries............ along with a quarter pounder without cheese. :o I know that it is counterproductive to losing weight, but something just had to give today. I was under so much stress that I was thinking, "How the h*ll am I supposed to ALSO eat right and exercise in this situation?!? The h*ll with eating right. I WANT McDonald's fries!!!" And I gave in..... :( So today was NOT a good eating day. I also have not exercised to this point..... and it is getting late in the day. I will aim to make tomorrow a MUCH better day overall. I am overwhelmed with a lot of things right now, so I really need to make a list of all that is on my mind and sort things out. I also haven't journaled in ages. That would help, I am sure.

ohiofreespirit: Hope you are keeping up with your homework. Uggggh, the thought of it freaks me out! :fr: I would NOT be a good student at this point in my life! I, too, admire you for what you are doing. Keep on trying on those tests. YOU CAN DO IT!!! :) I am also waiting on the warm spring weather here in Ohio!!! It snowed here today! :rolleyes:

Holly: Good for you for setting that hand-sy customer straight!!! Did you ever find out what your JOAB (Jerk-of-a-Boss :lol:) said to him???

Fi: Sorry you had a crappy day the other day. Muesli seems to be the magic potion for you! Glad that you are going to add it back into your diet on a regular basis. Hope you have had the chance to take a walk outdoors, do your leg exercises, and work on some of your art projects!

Semperfiddle: Congratulations on losing 2 pounds!!! Good for you for doing a lot of walking over the weekend. That is cool that you and Fiona have non-fiction writing in common! Hope you enjoy your writer's workshop. Glad that you have continued to post! :)

03-26-2014, 02:26 PM
Thanks for the congratulations, IBelieveInMe! Every pound that comes of is a major victory for each of us. And don't beat yourself up about the McDonald's ...just get back on the wagon and go, go, go.

It snowed here yesterday too, quite a bit, but the sun is out and shining so I feel encouraged. Overcast days can be hard on me... Tomorrow I have PTSD support group and an appt with my therapist, and then meet in the evening with three other writer's for our monthly writer's group meeting. Full day and I'm looking forward to it.

Forsythia and redbuds in bloom sounds divine!

03-26-2014, 06:32 PM
Hi girls,

I am up to my eyeballs in homework but I am doing ok. I have a low A in my class. I will be happy if I wind up with a B. I made out my schedule for the next year, it is exciting to see it written down. Next session, I am taking a math class in person at DeVry. Has anyone ever heard of DeVry University?

The weather here in Ohio is chilly today. I am anxious for spring to get here. Perhaps April will bring warm weather?????

Semperfiddle, congrats on the weight loss.

IBelieve, I know what it's like to be stuck with your weight. I kind of am too and it's rough to be stuck with your weight.

I will check back in in a couple of days to read up on what is going on with all you wonderful ladies. :)

03-26-2014, 09:08 PM
A low A? that is freakin great! :cheer2: :D

I've definitely heard of DeVry, well I've seen their ads on TV.

It .. is .. FREEZING here today, it was a High of 15, and the wind blowing, ugh!!

03-28-2014, 03:15 AM

OMG!!!! so I have not checked in in a few days and wow, lots to read. I don't even know where to start.

first off I had my appointment with the nutritionist and she put me basically on the mediterranian (sp) diet. Has anyone heard of it or have and suggestions... im all ears. or eyes (; also she prescribed me a medication to curb my appetite and help with obsessive food thoughts. Few things about the pill. first it gives me a ton of energy (I love that!!) Second in makes my mouth very dry, and last it really, really curbs my appetite. this leads me to a question.... is it bad if you're not getting enough calories? I bring this up because I do the my fitness pal and ive been averaging only 700-900 calories per day and she set my target at 1400-1600. im just not hungry and I get full incredibly fast. I feel like ive has weight loss surgery. I'm not sure if I should take this as a good thing or a bad thing... I'll take all the advice I can get.

on an end note, now I know to check in more regularly so I can keep up with the latest drama and gossip (: but for now, its 115am and alarm goes off at 5am so im going to be selfish and make my post tonight all about me.

I will say good luck to everyone. thank you to all who have reached out!!!!! hang in there and xoxoxox

03-28-2014, 10:08 AM
1life, I am on a prescription appetite suppressant too and the dry mouth is normal but a sign that you should be drinking more water. If you are drinking at least 8 glasses a day and still have dry mouth, you can chew peppermint gum. I think you should try to get your calorie intake up a bit, as yours a quite low. Maybe a protein drink like Atkins? It's low in sugar and carbs but high in the good things like protein and nutrients. Just a thought. I've lost 11 lbs so far and am just amazed and grateful that my doctor recommended the appetite suppressant. Portion control is KEY to my loss to date. Good luck!

Ohio free spirit, I've heard of DeVry too but I only live about 2 hours away from Ohio. Well done with the grade! Keep up the good work.

03-28-2014, 10:32 AM
I know I haven't posted here in a while but I thought I'd just check in. So far, so good! I have been weaning off of Cymbalta by taking smaller and smaller doses each month. Turns out that I picked a really stressful time to do this, since life has become especially hectic, but nevertheless it seems to be going well. I even skipped a few days because my prescription ran out and I didn't notice a single withdrawal side effect. Which means my dose is already so low that I could quit now. Soooo different from quitting Effexor! Cymbalta has been a much more effective medication and has also been much easier to quit.

I think I am going to quit next month. I have a doctor appointment in a couple weeks. I think what I'll do is take my (low-dose) meds, keep my appointment, and make another for four weeks post-quitting to check in and see how I am doing. If I am really stressed and not coping well, I can always go back on a really low dose.

03-28-2014, 11:15 AM
Hello Everyone! A quick check-in before my hubby and I head out for an overnight away. We are going to a concert (Phil Vassar) in Indianapolis. :carrot: I spoke with my psychiatrist about my low thyroid levels. He shared my concern that my "Free T4" level was definitely low, and that is the ACTIVE component which regulates metabolism. He called my primary doc and I called him, too, to argue for treatment. So my doctor called in a small dose prescription for my thyroid. I am hopeful that, if my thyroid gets regulated, I might actually be able to shed some weight finally (assuming I keep eating right and exercising). I don't think the treatment can hurt. If anything, it should help. So that is a relief.

Good to hear from everyone!!! Keep on posting!!! I PM'd lilturtle and she never responded, so I will just keep her in my prayers. Hope we eventually hear back from her.

shr1nk1ngme: Welcome back!!! So happy to see a post from you!!! Hope you know you are ALWAYS welcome here, regardless of how much or how little you post.

ohiofreespirit: I am in Ohio, too, and know about DeVry. A good friend of ours graduated from there. A low A is AWESOME!!!!!!!!! :D :carrot:

1life2liv: Great that your appetite suppressant is working, but 700-900 calories per day doesn't sound like nearly enough calories to me. I've always heard that you should at least consume 1200 calories per day to keep your metabolism going. Maybe your dose is too high??? That being said, I WANT some of your appetite suppressant!!! :lol:

03-28-2014, 10:36 PM
Hi ladies,

I am online doing homework. I am trying to make an outline for a project. The key word here is trying. I'm about to call it a night tonight and get some rest.

I just wanted to check in and let you all know I was thinking about you all.

03-30-2014, 03:02 AM
So its only been a couple days and I was able to communicate much more effectively than reading a weeks worth of posts at once. I found myself feeling smaller today. I have actually been officially dieting since the new year and have lost 18 total as of my last weigh in. But today I felt like my stomach was smaller, and my rings were fitting especially loose on my fingers today. I know it could be in my head and I hope im not devastated when I get on the scale Wednesday.

Another thing..... reaching out, again. I struggle a lot with my self image. I always have. even when I had a "ROCKIN" body, I though I was fat. I find myself feeling encouragement and then following it with negative words. For example today, when I felt like my stomach was possibly smaller I caught myself next thinking "what ever. its all in youre head. when you've lost 100 pounds, then you can be proud." I have this about me and find it very hard to get passed. Also since I cant find appreciation and encouragement from my self, I am constantly seeking it from others. My life is consumed by what other people think of me. I just want to be me for me!!!!!!!!!!

Okie dokie folks lol. I hope I haven't shared too much. I have a lot bottled up and this is the first time I have found a place where there are people with the same struggles as me.

semperfiddle: thanks so much for your input!!! I'm glad to hear that you are having some luck with the appetite suppressant. it gives me hope!!!!!!!! Also its funny that you mention a protein drink. Actually today I was at work and notice my protein percent was low for the day so I stopped and got a muscle milk. Thanks again for the feedback!!

shr1: HI!!! Its goo to meet you! I just thought I would share that getting meds regulated is soooooo stressful to me!! I have been going to a med doctor 1-3 times per month, EVERY MONTH for over a year trying to regulate me meds. I finally just got the good news last week that I am regulated and they don't need to see me again for 6 months (as long as there are no changes, of course. ) I about fell out of my chair!! So my thoughts go out to you as you seem to be going through a little of the same thing.

IBelieveInMe2: I think youre right about me needing a little bit more calories. The only downfall I'm finding when I try to consume more is that I get too full and feel sick. I suffered from bulimia for over seven years and I still literally get sick if I over eat. BUT the good news is that my NEVER ENDING APPETITE is gone!!!!! YAY!!!

ohiofreespirit: BLAH!!!!!!!! Don't even mention homework lol. totally get the whole TRYING to do homework thing. it seems like I spend a ratio of 10 hours trying to 1 hour of succeeding to do homework. I am so burnt out with school right now. I figured it up and I have been in school for 19 years of my life. IM ONLY 24!!!!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my major and what im studying but my brain just does not like to focus or concentrate on school anymore. its like I open a book and my brain hides (: Any how my prayers go out to you in your journey through school!!!!

I think that's PLENTY from me tonight. As always good luck to everyone and stay awesome!!!!! xoxoxox

03-30-2014, 10:49 PM
1life2liv: I can certainly relate to struggling with self-image! What you described is much how I am, too. I think it is a great sign, though, that you felt smaller yesterday!!! GO WITH IT!!! Fight through those negative feelings. Catching the negative thoughts is the first step to changing them!!! So I think you are making PROGRESS!!! :D Please feel free to share as much (or as little) as you want here. Chances are that one of us (at least) will be able to relate to your thoughts and feelings. I am so happy that you feel comfortable here!!! You are a very welcome addition to our group! :hug:

ohiofreespirit: Thanks for checking in! Keep on plugging away at your school work! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :D

Waving hello to everyone else! :wave:

Fiona W
03-30-2014, 11:22 PM
Howdy y'all! I've been catching up on sleep and also busy-busy-busy, so I haven't had time to post for a couple of days. Now I'm getting somewhere in the range of 6 to 8 hours a night, so I feel much less frazzled. I took a walk around the neighborhood on Friday—actually down and then back up a substantial hill, so I worked my legs hard enough to be sore the next day. It felt good! Still eating the same old stuff, but I have added back the half-cup of muesli a day, since it definitely stabilizes my mood. My appetite has improved: at least now I can detect hunger signals that tell me when to stop writing or making art and have a package of turkey or something. I definitely don't eat at defined meal times, I mean except for always having coffee with cream first thing in the morning. The cream is my breakfast: it gives me energy for hours!

So that's about all I have to report. It sounds good, Kathleen, that you're getting your thyroid issues sorted out. Best wishes to all...I've had a long day because our niece and grand-nephew came over tonight. I'm really enjoying the fact that they live so close. I hope I can get another walk in tomorrow...

03-31-2014, 10:14 PM
Hi ladies,

I hope this post finds you all well.

Fi, I am so glad you are getting more rest. Sleep does the body good and good for you, getting that walk in.

1life2liv, Thank you so much for the prayers. I really need all I can get. I want to graduate so badly. I want a better life for myself. I desire to learn and grow as a person but at the same time, I don't want to get sick from anxiety either. Next session, I go to 2 classes, math and business. Please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

IBelieveInMe2, Thank you so much for your support in my schooling. I need that so much and especially in May, I will need it more than ever as I start 2 classes. I am so excited about learning and growing as a person but I am worried about the extra workload I will be taking on so please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Have a wonderful few days, friends. I will check back in soon, I promise. Much love to all.

04-01-2014, 05:19 PM
Howdy Folks! I am happy to report that, after about a week on the new thyroid medication (Synthroid), I can feel a definite difference in my energy level. I haven't weighed myself yet because I went off plan over the weekend, but I am hoping that regulating my thyroid will help me to get my weight under control, too, eventually. Finally, yesterday, we had a beautiful warm day here in Ohio. Today, it is absolutely gorgeous and even warmer! :sunny: We were actually supposed to get our pool opened up today, but the pool guy said we appear to have a leak in our brand new pool. :( I think it's been there since the pool was installed late last year. I am NOT a happy camper about that. What a hassle!!! :mad: I just hope they will get it up and running soon, so we can enjoy spending lots of time in it this spring and summer. It's heated, so we SHOULD be able to use it spring to fall. It will be such great exercise for me and my (handicapped) daughter...... and our whole family ~ IF it ever gets done properly!!! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGH!!!!!!! :mad:

Fi: Happy to hear that you are catching up on some much-needed sleep and that you took a walk around your neighborhood last Friday! I can't wait to get out and walk with my pups this year!!! My plantar fasciitis is still giving me problems, but I am going to push through the pain to get in some good walks in our neighborhood, too. They absolutely LOVE going for walks. In fact, we have to spell the word around here or they start freaking out until we go! :lol: Love 'em to pieces!!! :love: Glad you are also enjoying having your niece and grand-nephew living close by.

ohiofreespirit: You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!!! You can do this!!! Keep your focus on the POSITIVE!!! :D

Fiona W
04-02-2014, 08:05 PM
Where's our April thread? I can't find it.... Kathleen?

04-03-2014, 11:40 AM
I am so sorry, Fi and everyone else, but I totally forgot to start our new April thread. Going to do that right now!