Weight Loss Support - Feeling Like a Failure, need some kind words :(
08-09-2013, 07:01 AM
Its been a long time since I've posted here.
Lately I've been feeling so lost about my weight loss. I just cant seem to get started with it. And when I do get started I last about 2 weeks then I will fall off the wagon and feel like a failure. :(
There is not doubt in my mind that I can do this. I've lost weight before, as a matter of fact I've been very successful with my weight loss in the past. ( lost a total of 112lbs back in 2005 and I kept it off up until 2011, you can read more about my weight loss journey in my blog - click on the link in my signature) There was a time when eating healthy was a lifestyle to me and eating junk was extremely hard for me to do. I would stop myself before eating junk and question rather or not I wanted it. But now it seems I have lost all those good habits and let the bad ones sneak back in. I just feel so lost.:(
2 months ago I joined a gym and I absolutely love it. Working out has never really been an issue for me, its the eating part that I struggle with - specially at night.
I have gained about 51lbs from my lowest weight.:(:(:(
If you a similar story or if you have any kind words to toss my way. I would greatly appreciate it. I just can't believe I have allowed myself to gain so much weight after working so hard to get it off and keep it off.
08-09-2013, 08:07 AM
Sending you virtual ((((hugs)))) I can relate to your story a lot, no advice sorry though as I am on struggle street with commitment to my weight loss too
08-09-2013, 08:10 AM
I previously lost all my excess weight, maintained it for 6 months and then gained it all back and then gained more, so I know how that kind of thing feels. These days I've been struggling with getting back into weightloss too. Unfortunately I don't have any advice because I don't know how to fix the problem either.:(
08-09-2013, 08:28 AM
My mom who is 70 and overweight her whole life except for times when the diets "worked." But she has never given up. She has type 2 diabetes and hypertension, which are managed by medication, but I swear she is beautiful and glows with happiness.
What I have learned from her that this is a spiritual and psychological journey. This is more about a lifelong relationship with self, others, and spirit. Food comes into play, as it is a fundamental act of self-love and care. She has her food plan, and exercise routine, but she also travels and volunteers with a church. She meditates, goes on spiritual retreats, and of course, worries about her adult children. Basically, she lives a good life.
I have inherited her desire to be a better person. I have struggled with binge eating disorder and have gained/lost the same weight many times. I joined 3FC when I entered eating disorder treatment and, 5 years later, I'm still here struggling. Exercise comes easy, but eating well does not. I have made excellent progress, but I have frequent binges. When this happens, I don't punish myself, and instead, I try to understand why I turn to food for medication and comfort.
I try to have faith and continue on my path to being a better person.
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story. I don't have specific advice except to say that you can do this.
08-09-2013, 09:28 AM
(((hugs))) I am new hear as well & just got "back on" the band wagon. Which program are you looking to do? I have decided Weight Watchers will be for me. 1.I learn to portion my food 2. I tried calorie counting & couldn't do it 3. I cant afford prepackaged foods. 4. I have someone to be accountable to(meetings each week & a friend joined too)
One of the things I have done this time, is changed my home page to This forum :) I go & read the posts & last night I went "lurking" thru the before & after pictures & WOW that in itself is pretty inspiring!
Maybe you can also blog, maybe that will help you.
As for your late night snacking I was like that too, or eating cause Im bored. I work at a restaurant& my problem is that every time I go into the kitchen, I grab a fry, an onion ring or(eek) a piece of bacon.
ok Im sorry I hijacked your post....short story long...;) we are all struggling you can do this & we're here to help!
08-09-2013, 12:45 PM
I don't think you're a failure. Not at all. To me a failure is someone who will never ever succeed so they give up.
I'm here again because I gained all of my weight back, too. I think you've already won because you realized the problem before you gained all of it back.
08-09-2013, 01:39 PM
In the last dozen or so years, this is the 4th time I've lost 30 lbs--but this time it's over 40, and I'm the lowest I've been--but I started and failed to re-lose those pounds more times than I can count--I think lots of us can relate to what you're going through.
I've become a big fan of the Beck Diet Solution: Train your brain to think like a thin person. (Dr Judith Beck) The book is a "how to diet" book, but there isn't an eating plan or diet to follow--it can work with any diet plan. There's a second book Beck Diet for Life, which also includes an exchange eating plan.
For whatever reason, her approach--eating mindfully, making a plan, making response cards to change how you think about food and eating, scheduling time to diet and eat and exercise--this approach resonated with me and it's working.
It might be worth picking up the book--I know several people have found it at their library.
Good luck--you can do this. You've done it before, so you've proved to yourself you can do it.
08-09-2013, 10:44 PM
I am also having issues with this. I exercise and I generally eat healthy but what happens is I overeat in the evenings. I just break. I've been working on that issue specifically. I've been meditating, looking at my past to see if there are unresolved issues. Talking it out with people. I'm learning through meditation how to be more present in the moment and not always lost in thought. It makes it easier to notice when I'm about to start the spiral towards overeating.
It's a journey and I'm not saying that to be cheesy. Some people get it right the first time, others don't. It's a different journey for us all.
08-09-2013, 11:17 PM
Wow..I had to work today and just remembered this post. I'm so very thankful for all your responses. Thank you for the hugs and the words of encouragement.
I don't really have a plan yet. Im just going to take it day by day and see how I feel. I suffer from anxiety and lately its been really bad, and when its bad I turn to food. Something Im acknowledging and trying to redirect that thought process. Its hard, probably the hardest thing i've had to do in my life - but I will do it. You know what they say - practice makes perfect -
If anyone else would care to share there thoughts, im all ears :) I will check back in tomorrow.
08-10-2013, 12:06 AM
I struggle with overheating too. Stepping back into old habits are easy. I don't like hard things. But I want to lose weight so I have to do these things. Some days are a struggle. If I don't workout i feel as if I let myself down. One thing I've been doing are my squat challenge, everyday for 5 days now. I also have my sit-ups challenge. I usually pack my plates full, while dieting I cut it in half and give it to my dog. Lol. It's unorganized but one day I feel I will have the knowledge and power to reach my goal. One major thing that helps push myself is seeing myself thinner. I have to visually see it while I'm jogging to keep pushing myself. Probably not too helpful but I hope you find what your looking for.
If you struggle with anxiety, and like you said that you have no problems exercising, have you tried yoga a few times a week?
I used to do yoga because aside from being a good exercise it also helped calm down my mind.
08-11-2013, 12:28 AM
Hugs to you!! I struggle every day with this and sometimes I think just knowing that you're not alone in this struggle makes it a little easier to deal with. I posted a similar post a few days ago titled "Just need some support...and maybe a hug" or something like that and I got a lot of great tips and encouragement from other members. You may want to check it out for more ideas.
I also tend to do really well during the day and then I overeat at night. I don't know why I do this and I feel like a failure every time it happens, but in the moment I just can't seem to stop myself. I have decided to put up some pictures of myself in my bedroom, one of how I look now (down about 20 lbs most recently, and 70 lbs total from my heaviest), one pic of me at my heaviest, and one of the body I want to have. I am hoping that this will help keep me focused on my goals. I hope that this site helps lend you some support and guidance. I also hope that you (and I) can stop feeling like a failure everytime you overeat and just move on. What's done is done and all we can do is move forward and have a better day from here out. Good luck to you!
08-11-2013, 02:33 AM
You have NOT failed. :hug::D
This is a long process!:hug:
:carrot:You haven't gained back all the weight you lost!
That is a success!:carrot:
The biggest thing I learned is to quit being so hard on myself. For the love of Pete, If you would not say it to someone else, most likely you should not be saying it to yourself.
Another thing I learned, if you have a flat tire, are you going to slash the other 3? If you break one piece of china are you going to bust the rest of the set?
Most likely the answer to the above is NO!
There is no failure, only feedback about what did not work.
Keep calm and carry on!:hug::D:carrot:
08-11-2013, 02:37 AM
Try not to be so hard on yourself. You lost 112, which is fantastic and you've gained back 51 -- less than half -- and you want to stop yourself from going any further. That's a win right there. You've ONLY gained back 51, but you know it has to stop here. You can lose 51 lbs. You know you can and YOU WILL.
For now, just hold it at 51 and lose it when you're ready to devote the time and energy to whatever program you use. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up over it. You're human, you're not perfect. No one gets to be perfect. It's okay. You've caught it in time. You'll know when it's time to whip those 51 lbs. into shape. When you're ready to go after those 51 lbs., they won't know what hit 'em. :boxing:
08-12-2013, 02:35 AM
I've lost and gained the same 30 pounds over the last 3 years. This time half way through my journey I got henoch scholein purpura which has not gone away and I have not done a 5K since.
The upside is that I learned to maintain and did so successfully for 6 months which I something I had never done before. I immediately gained 5 pounds after the wedding as did my husband for some reason but either way I say it can be done. At 51 pounds gained not all is lost. :) Just pick up where you left off, your human after all we all mistakes it just what we learn from them that matters.
08-16-2013, 01:59 AM
I'm in a similar position, (and about to write a question about it), and I've realised that I'm lacking motivation because I'm lacking motivation. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but essentially, I don't have a good enough reason to want to lose the weight.
I never got to a healthy weight (I was still overweight at my lowest), but being thin(ner) wasn't all sunshine and roses. There are definite negatives to losing weight. I got attention from the wrong men, I lost my bust, the loose skin was depressing etc, etc.
So, what's your reason? Hopefully you've got some good specific reasons for wanting to lose the weight. Write them down and focus on them. I am currently trying to come up with something better than 'I'm overweight and I should want to lose weight'.
Also, for the logistics, try not to be too perfect too soon. You've probably tried to jump back to what you were doing when you lost the last 10lbs (I always do). You probably need to start doing what you were doing when you lost the first 10lbs and slowly work up, or you don't burn yourself out. Hugs:)