For Past, present and future brides out there... How did you deal with finding your perfect dress?
I've been putting off seriously shopping for my perfect dress for so long now because I just do not want to deal with going to a bridal boutique. It seems like most stores are just not accommodating to plus sized brides. I'm stressing big time over this! I am planning on buying a dress online anyways, but really really would like to be able to try a few different styles on before hand.
As it is, there are no bridal boutiques in the city I live at ALL. I have to travel 5 hours south just to try on dresses. My last trip to a bridal store in the big city resulted in frustration and tears as I could not even find a sample gown that fit me.
I know what styles I really like. I just want to make sure they are flattering on me...you know?
The first bridal store I went to was like a over stock type store, where everything was really cheap - we didn't know any better. But I seriously left almost crying. Nothing fit and everything in my size looked like it came from the 80's and wasn't what I pictured.
I honestly felt like I was too fat to get married and no companies would make beautiful dresses for me. I was so upset.
The store I went to was a real bridal bouquet. They had plenty of styles for me to try on in my size - 18. I actually was in love with 3 of them and had a really hard time choosing between two. I ended up going for a style I would have never thought I would, it was fitted down to my bum but it was really slimming.
Buying a dress from there cost more but in the end I felt happy in it all day long and to me that was worth the price. I did end up ordering my dress a size smaller and lost enough weight that it was a bit too big but I was still a bigger bride.
Don't be afraid to try different dresses on. When I looked at mine on the hanger I figured there was NO WAY I could ever wear it because it too fitted but in the end it was beautiful on me. It wasn't anything that I had ever pictured of even imaged wearing.
If you are worried call before hand and ask them if they have lots of larger sized samples. There are lots of beautiful plus size dresses out there. Good luck!
I know their dresses are mass produced but David's Bridal does have a nice section for plus size. You don't necessarily have to buy a dress from them but you could go there and try on all the different styles and see which one works best for you and then go to a boutique and pick your design.
I agree with the above, go to the store! The dress I had my heart set on looked ridiculous on my body. The dress I bought I would have never picked out in a picture in a million years! Good luck! AND you will be a beautiful bride, no worries.
I know their dresses are mass produced but David's Bridal does have a nice section for plus size. You don't necessarily have to buy a dress from them but you could go there and try on all the different styles and see which one works best for you and then go to a boutique and pick your design.
My daughter got her dress at David's Bridal and you are correct - they have a very nice size selection for plus sizes. My daughter is not a plus size but I did see so many people in there trying on dresses and they have such a large selection that I saw every size imaginable. They also have large sizes for bridesmaid's dresses; my daughter's MOH is a plus size (22) and her dress was very flattering. All the other bridesmaids were small but the dress looked fabulous on all of them.
Our experiences at boutiques were not too great. For the most part I found the people at them very standoffish and somewhat snotty. My daughter got one of the Oleg Cassini dresses from David's Bridal and it was quite lovely. But to be quite honest I saw some of the David's Bridal brand dresses that were also very nice. I mean, why would one pay thousands of dollars for a one-time-only dress???
Also, you might look to see if you can find a bridal consignment place to shop. I actually got my MOB dress at one - I really would not have had a problem wearing an already-worn dress but as it turned out she purchases a lot of dresses from other shops clearing their shelves and that was what I ended up buying. Beautiful dress, beautiful color (eggplant). And a lot less than many of the others I was trying on. She had a very large selection of bride's dresses - some new, some pre-worn. Great deals.
Personally I had a horrid time at David's Bridal. They told me to pick out dresses online ahead of time and that I could try them on when I got to the store. Out of 20 dresses I picked, they did not have a single one in my size (18). I did not get to try on a single dress that I wanted.
So I definitely suggest that you call ahead of time and specifically ask if they have a size X in an X silhouette or something similar.
I thought shopping for a wedding dress was going to be great. I hated it, it was nothing like I was hoping. Either the stores had nothing that fit me or I hated all of the dresses that did fit me. I was very specific with all consultants about what I wanted to try and what I hated, and all of them but the last one I saw were awful. What? You don't want to try on an A-line? Here, try this A-line, I promise it'll look good. Oh.. this isn't the dress for you. YOU THINK?! A-line looks terrible on me! That's why I said I didn't want to try them on! Ugggghhhh.
Anyway. I wound up going to a Macy's Bridal by Demetrios and found my gown. Just so happened to go during a trunk show and loved a dress from that. It was nothing like I was expecting I'd want. A good consultant made a world of difference. She eyed me up and down and knew immediately what styles would look good on me and didn't just pick up anything available in my size. Actually, the dress I wound up getting was several sizes too small when I tried it on but even though it looked terrible on me in the moment I knew that when it fits it's going to be beautiful.
Good luck finding your dress. It's supposed to be a happy time but seems to bring plus size brides a great deal of grief, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I definitely suggest being very specific over the phone about what you wish to try on and asking them to check if they have samples in/around your size.
My mom & I are planning a trip into the city towards the end of June. I'm really banking on finding a dress I love right then and there.
I didn't really think of calling ahead to make sure they had samples in my size... I hope they do.
I'm still not looking forward to it, but perhaps calling ahead to make sure they actually have dresses in my size in sillhouettes I like will make a world of difference...fingers crossed!
I just wish they had bridal stores dedicated to plus size brides. I feel like I wouldn't be half as stressed out about it if this were the case. I just have these unreasonable, anxious thoughts that it will be like shopping in a regular store and they won't have anything that fits me!
Daki - truer words were never spoken. And unfortunately they are rare.
I think that is what made the difference for my daughter at David's Bridal. She was middle-aged and had been there for 20 years. She knew her stuff. (Our local David's Bridal is one of the largest in the country; that's probably why they had such a large selection in a wide range of sizes). Had it not been for her I suspect we would not have purchased a dress there. And even she tried to upsell us but I knew that would go on anywhere so we just dealt with it. We ONLY bought the dress there - nothing, not even the veil, from them. (well got the bridesmaids' and flower girl dresses there, but none of the additional items they try to sell you).
We had the alterations done elsewhere - boy, they REALLY try to put the pressure on you about that, because that's where they make their money. My daughters' seamstress told her she didn't need a bustier - not even a bra - but they tried to sell her that too. The dress was designed such that she didn't need it. And the seamstress said that her dress was VERY well constructed. She said she always recommended brides try to get a dress from David's if they could because they got more for their money but don't let them alter it. She made my daughter's veil herself using leftover beads from her dress as part of the headpiece. Looked great.
Daki, I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience with them. Lots of people do. My daughter's MOH had already been through another wedding at the same store and they used this consultant and that's how we found out about her. We were lucky in that regard. But my advice to the OP about David's is to try them and not expect much help. If you can get others who know something about dresses to go with you and even find a seamstress before you go that can advise you on what to get. That's where we were also lucky - this lady had done my niece's wedding alterations and my nephew's wife's alterations as well. So we definitely had an advantage going in.
My daughters' seamstress told her she didn't need a bustier - not even a bra - but they tried to sell her that too. The dress was designed such that she didn't need it. And the seamstress said that her dress was VERY well constructed.
They told me this too, over and over again that I did not need a bra because of the way my dress was, that it had a bra in it. I didn't buy it for one second. WEAR A BRA! Unless you are small in the chest. I wore a bra and was comfortable and didn't worry about anything falling out. My dress looked and fit completely different with no bra on.
I was a wedding on the weekend and she didn't have a bra on and there were too many times she was falling out of her dress.
They told me this too, over and over again that I did not need a bra because of the way my dress was, that it had a bra in it. I didn't buy it for one second. WEAR A BRA! Unless you are small in the chest. I wore a bra and was comfortable and didn't worry about anything falling out. My dress looked and fit completely different with no bra on.
I was a wedding on the weekend and she didn't have a bra on and there were too many times she was falling out of her dress.
I definitely think a larger person should probably wear the bra. My daughter is not plus sized, but she is pretty well-endowed. She's very short too. This particular dress was so solid and fitted with a lot of ribbing in the bodice. I have to say it was altered perfectly; that also probably made a huge difference. She had no problem with it staying up. But each situation is different. I do think that she did NOT need a bustier; a strapless bra would have sufficed had she decided she needed the support. The bustier was overkill, but they were really pushing it.
If you can afford to lose the shipping, online places like igigi.com and kiyonna.com have some very nice plus size wedding gowns that you can try on and return if the don't work for you.
It makes me so sad to see how much stock women in general put into finding the perfect dress and having the perfect day. Nothing is perfect and I think it's such a terrible thing that the wedding industry projects that image. You *must* have a great feeling when you try on the dress. You *must* instantly love it. Ack, too much stress!
My mom and I made my wedding dress because:
-I don't like how I look in white. I don't feel like myself.
- I was plus sized with chubby arms and dresses with sleeves were rare at the time.
- I didn't want to deal with the stress of finding the perfect dress.
My dress was a 50's style teal silk crinoline, sleeves and pockets. I loved it but it was far from perfect which made it more memorable.
Skellig19, I think it's awesome that you were able to make your own dress! I feel like it made it all the more special so to speak.
You make a super good point about brides putting so much stock into finding the 'perfect' dress and I'm definitely feeling the stress there as much as I wish I wasn't!
I do expect to love the dress I try on and feel beautiful in it. I think there is added stress there for me on top of that because I'm a plus size. I'd be the first to admit that I have body and self esteem issues. I'm just really not looking forward to being so limited in a store full of dresses to just the plus size samples.
I'm ever so grateful for all the tips you've all offered up here though! I'll definitely be sure to visit real bridal shops and CALL FIRST.
Honestly, I've been so easy going with the planning part of my wedding. I'm having a destination wedding, and one of the perks for me is that there is so much LESS planning. I've been very 'go with the flow'....until I couldn't put off wedding dress shopping any longer. Go figure! lol
I tried on a total of 4 dresses (if you don't count the disaster at the bargin dress store.) The second one I tried one was the one I bought.
Did I LOVE it and cry like they do on TV? No way. Did I worry and stress that maybe I didn't buy the right one? Of course. I think everyone has dress regret. Do I wish I had of kept shopping. Nope. Buying my wedding dress was not stressful once I saw that the store had lots for me to try on in my size. I was in an out in about two hours and didn't have to think about it again.
I know for my small city there are lots of different Wedding Facebook groups - If you are on Facebook try searching and see if there are any local (or close to local) groups you can join. You might be able to get help from other localish brides in finding a good dress store to check out.
Don't stress about this - you will find something you love! And just remember, don't be afraid to try something on that you don't like on the hanger because you just never know. And lots can be changed, like you love a dress but wish it had straps - straps can be added! I added a sweetheart necklace and a sparkly belt to make it more what I wanted. GOOD LUCK!
I went to David's Bridal myself. I looked at a magazine of theirs before I went and found a few I liked. I ended up trying on about 5 or so and I went with one I actually didn't like in the book but I loved on me. Did I break down in tears? Nope, but I liked the dress and thought it was pretty flattering and I could see myself getting married in it. Not everyone will break down bawling over a dress, I don't think clothes are that important :-P But I'd recommend going to a big store like David's Bridal that will probably have plus sizes, having some idea what type of dresses you like (maybe bring a picture if you can't describe it), and get a consultant who wants to actually help you. If your consultant is rude or unhelpful ask for a new one. Good luck
Wedding Dress Woes
