Weight Loss Support - A Much Needed Conversation




View Full Version : A Much Needed Conversation


100Mother
05-14-2013, 03:45 PM
This is how the conversation went.

Logical Me: I feel good! I’m doing things I haven’t done in a long time! I’m starting to run, I biked to work, I’ve gone to the gym almost every day in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hiking. I even feel like my clothes look better! I have more energy! Yay me!

Emotional Me: But what about this morning? When you got on the scale, and it hasn’t dropped, not one bit. I mean, you have only lost MAYBE 4 pounds, and who even knows if that is for real? It could shoot back up to 252 tomorrow! It seems to be coming off really really slow, even with all the changes you’ve made. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of freaking out here.

Logical Me: Yeh, but the weight will come off eventually. I just have to keep going. It doesn’t matter if I lose a pound this week or 10 pounds, as long as I’m making some kind of progress.

Emotional Me: But you know you, if that number doesn’t move you are going to shut down, and let me take over. And you know how I get; once I’m in charge it is like you disappear. I’ll tell you we’ll have just ONE binge day, just one, and then the next morning you will sleep in and not go to the gym, and then before you know it in a few weeks you will be wondering why oh why you can’t get the motivation to try.

Logical Me: I know I’ve done that in the past. But I’m aware of those possabilities, this time could be different. I am going to fall of the wagon eventually, but I can get right back up.

Emotional Me: But WILL you? Will you really get right back up. You know how you get. Sure you are on plan TODAY, but what about tomorrow? And the next day?
Logical Me: Well, I mean…

Emotional Me: What if the scale STILL doesn’t go down by this Thursday when you are supposed to weigh in with friends? Won’t you be so embarrassed!?

Logical Me: Oh…

Emotional Me: And then when your sister comes to visit in July and you are STILL 252 pounds, maybe heavier, what is she going to THINK!?

Logical Me: …

Emotional Me: I just don’t know if it is even worth trying. You don’t seem to be sure you’ll be able to control US next week or even TOMORROW. So, yeh…not sure what you are doing.

Logical Me: …………………………………………………………………..well, I can today.

Emotional Me: What?

Logical Me: I can control us…for today.

Emotional Me: Well, yeh, I know you can TODAY, but what about tomorrow, and next week, and next month and next year. If you can’t control us then, then it will just be this huge waste of our time!!!

Logical Me: I can’t control those days, you are right about that.

Emotional Me: Good, I’m glad you see where I’m coming from. So about that cheeseburger…

Logical Me: But I can control today. And if I trust that tomorrow I will wake up and say the same thing, then that is two days of control.

Emotional Me: Pleeeeeease! 2 days? That is NOTHING! You will lose nothing in two days!

Logical Me: And if I TRUST that I can control us the day after that, and the day after that.

Emotional Me: Well, maybe, but you KNOW that someday you are going to cheat and fall of the wagon.

Logical Me: Yes, BUT, if I take it one day at a time, if I don’t worry about the next day, if I realize I can’t control that ‘off’ day now, then I will stay on track today. And when I have that off day, if I take it one day at a time and start fresh the NEXT day, like I do every day, then I will get back on track!

Emotional Me: Well yeh, but…

Logical Me: And I WILL! It will take this one day at a time!!! I AM doing this!

Emotional Me: …………………………………………………………You know what?

Logical Me: What?!

Emotional Me: I’m glad we talked, I feel much better now.

Logical Me: Me too.


cg86
05-14-2013, 03:51 PM
Oh yeah I know that conversation.
Feeling really depressed the last 2 weeks as I've only budged about 3 pounds :(
Today I was just going to do nothing. Then I had that exact conversation and I'm up and about to do my weight lifting for an hour!
Keep your chin up, you can do it if you just keep being logical! :D

Silverfire
05-14-2013, 03:54 PM
That was awesome. I think I need to have a little chat with myself....


PreciousMissy
05-14-2013, 03:58 PM
I soooo want to give "Logical Me" a hug right now!!! Seriously, she's my hero.

CherryPie99
05-14-2013, 04:22 PM
I think you did great!

As an addictions counselor I tell my clients that they need to see that voice as the ADDICTION talking. It will say ANYTHING - ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING - to get the person to use drugs again.

So I apply the same thing to myself - it's not ME that's saying those things, it's my addiction. It helps me at least to see it outside of myself if that makes any sense.

Like if another person was trying to force me to eat that brownie, I could say no. So I try to think of it as it's not ME that wants to eat the brownie, it's my addiction. Or it's not ME who is saying I'm a fat cow and will always be so I might as well give up - that's my ADDICTION TALKING.

Hope this makes sense.

Jen

elvislover324
05-14-2013, 04:38 PM
:hug:

I have those conversations multiple times with myself every day.

Just remember, the scale surprises us when we least expect it so don't do anything silly to mess up the schedule!

I weigh in officially on Mondays, I swear my loss for the week doesn't even begin to show until Friday or sometimes Saturday even though I worked my tail off all week eating well and exercising (sometimes it even goes up!). I had to learn to trust myself, trust my exercise, and trust my eating. In just about 9 months, I have had only 1 week with a gain and it was .6lbs and after my first TOM in that time.

Maybe two more lines for your emotional and logical selves: "I love you and trust you." And then both say "Me too." :hug:

100Mother
05-14-2013, 04:52 PM
I think you did great!

As an addictions counselor I tell my clients that they need to see that voice as the ADDICTION talking. It will say ANYTHING - ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING - to get the person to use drugs again.

So I apply the same thing to myself - it's not ME that's saying those things, it's my addiction. It helps me at least to see it outside of myself if that makes any sense.

Like if another person was trying to force me to eat that brownie, I could say no. So I try to think of it as it's not ME that wants to eat the brownie, it's my addiction. Or it's not ME who is saying I'm a fat cow and will always be so I might as well give up - that's my ADDICTION TALKING.

Hope this makes sense.

Jen

Jen - I completely understand and agree. This may sound weird, but my addiction voice sounds very different than my emotional voice. Since dealing with my addiction, part of being able to face it is to seperate out emotion. Emotion isn't always bad, in fact, if I learn how to embrace it, deal with it, understand it, and yeh sometimes talk to it, it can be a real asset. Addiction shuts down my emotion, and that isn't necessarily the voice I felt like I was talking to today. I agree with you 100% though, and when addiction comes knocking I do view it as an entirely different entity from myself.




:hug:

Maybe two more lines for your emotional and logical selves: "I love you and trust you." And then both say "Me too." :hug:

I LOVE that Elvis! Thank you!

Lecomtes
05-14-2013, 04:53 PM
Sending you a hug. :) I have the same inner conversations with myself.

Missy Krissy
05-14-2013, 05:01 PM
I love it!

Ellemphriem
05-14-2013, 05:23 PM
Very nice! Loved it! <3

thewalrus0
05-14-2013, 06:36 PM
I have these conversations all the time and in the past it was what was keeping me from being able to sustain any weight loss.

Now when I get to that point my response is consistently "You have no other choice." To reach my goals I have no other choice but to eat right and exercise. In the past that voice would tell me all kinds of things. Doubts, insults, sabotaging thoughts. It would convince me that I absolutely could not go another minute without overeating and then it would convince me that, because I overate, I would just have to spend my life being overweight because I clearly wasn't cut out to lose it.

Now I just tell "I have no other choice" and it's really hard for it to make a compelling argument.

"You really want that cupcake."
"I do, but I have no other choice except to not eat it."

"You could eat that cupcake and not eat dinner. Then you'll still be under calories"
"No, because I'll eat it and then be hungry in an hour and end up having dinner anyways. I have no other choice but to go on as planned, no cupcake."

"But you're already so big and you've only lost a few pounds. Think about how many times you've failed in the past. Just eat the cupcake."
"I failed in the past because I ate the cupcake. If I don't eat it I'll keep losing. I have no other choice except to not eat the cupcake."

And then I try to remember from the Beck Diet Solution when it says "You can relieve the tension by deciding to eat, but you can also relieve the tension by deciding not to eat."

That is the daily battle in my head. Not always, but often.

freelancemomma
05-14-2013, 06:59 PM
Good conversation between your two selves! I think we should all bear in mind that if we do nothing to change our habits, we won't stay the same -- we will gain weight. And keep gaining and gaining. So even when it seems like we're doing everything right and just running on a treadmill, rather than moving forward, we ARE moving forward relative to the backward motion we would otherwise experience. (Thanks, Einstein.)

Freelance

Remington90
05-14-2013, 07:24 PM
I think a lot of us have had those conversations. Personally I've never really thought about it until reading that. I usually have the "well I'll just exercise tomorrow"..."no you won't" battle in my head.

I think the first step to this, is coming out with it, which you've done. You've addressed the problem and can now find a logical way to deal with it.

100Mother
05-14-2013, 07:31 PM
I think the first step to this, is coming out with it, which you've done. You've addressed the problem and can now find a logical way to deal with it.

It is good to hear that I'm not bat sh*t crazy and other people feel the same way as I do, haha. I agree that 'getting it out there' is important. I am a huge advocate of actually saying these things aloud. They seem so much bigger and daunting in our heads. I know a lot of other people like writing, but for me, the acrtress, I want to speak the words so that I can really understand where I'm coming from.

And then I try to remember from the Beck Diet Solution when it says "You can relieve the tension by deciding to eat, but you can also relieve the tension by deciding not to eat."


That is SO true. The moment you truly make a decision there is an immediate relief of stress. And we make a decision to stay on plan, then we don't have to contend with the stress OR the guilt.




Thanks all for reading!