Depression and Weight Issues - May Chat

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05-04-2013, 07:05 PM
Hi chicks, I am restarting the monthly chat thread. What's new in your life or what do you want to say? Check in or touch base with us if you like, or just say HI! Every chick is welcome! Let's give support to one another...;)

I am doing well, I just got back from swimming! I feel like I am becoming more active and I am eating healthier and smaller portions. :carrot: I still am annoyed by all the food allergies that I have and how they are disguised on labels.

Tomorrow I am seeing friends and then Monday I get my second batch of allergy shots, and as much as I don't want to get them, they weren't that bad last time.
I can't wait until I feel comfortable staying at a lower weight so I can breathe better, feel prettier, and be healthier! I have been more gentle with myself lately and am really making an effort to practice self love. It seems to be working!

On that positive note, I hope that all you chicks are having a pleasant weekend!!


:df: :sunny:

05-04-2013, 09:29 PM
Hi Seabiscuit!

Your attitude is absolutely amazing. Positivity is contagious :goodvibes and good luck with the allergy shots!

I have surgery (laser lipo) scheduled for Monday. I know some don't "agree" with the route I've chosen, but I feel like it will make a difference in how I feel about my "kangaroo pouch". I'm actually a little scared - I feel like a child awaiting a lecture, and I'm ready to get it over with.

Off to cook Saturday dinner - Souvlaki, falafel, and greek salad. I think dinner's going to be delicious!

05-05-2013, 01:01 AM
Hey grneyedmustang-

Thank you for your nice compliment!! :) I have been much more positive lately and smiling a lot more, which is great. On the flip side, I have been crying a bit more too, perhaps because I am communicating with a guy online and I am nervous about it. I will do anything to avoid arguments and conflict even if that includes avoidance which is a negative coping skill.

I am seeing my friends tomorrow and I can hardly wait! :carrot: We don't know what we are going to do yet but it will be fun, I can feel it in the air...:cool:

I wish you all the best with your surgery. I seriously considered lipo too but then decided it wasn't for me. I sincerely hope everything goes well! :hug:

Allergies and asthma are awful things, yes but I am fortunate to be able to get allergy shots and that my insurance covers them. They aren't very painful, but my allergies are acting up enough already that the shots aggravated my asthma a little bit. :( I am supposed to be avoiding certain foods that I am allergic to, and tonight I cheated. Well, my skin was reddish, that must be a slight allergic reaction! There will be no more of that food!

Have a good rest of your weekend chicks!

05-05-2013, 09:42 PM
Hey seabiscuit! Thanks for starting the May chat thread. Sorry to hear your allergies are bugging you. I'm getting some Spring allergy flare ups too - itchy eyes, runny nose, all that fun stuff. Zyrtec is my friend, lol. Also, good luck talking to someone new. It's normal to be nervous - hopefully it's a good nervous, like "the butterflies in your stomach" kinda feeling.

Hi mustang! Good luck with your surgery tomorrow! Don't worry about anyone who doesn't agree with your choice to have surgery. You have to do what's right for you. What is the recovery time on it? Is it a relatively painless procedure? Cheers to a successful and healthy surgery! :cheer3: Let us know how it goes :)

As for me, we moved last week and we're finally getting the place livable, lol. It's amazing how I require order and cleanliness in my life these days, whereas in college/high school, I could easily have my room/apartment looking like a hurricane passed through it without disturbing my daily routine and concentration. Not the case these days. With that, you can imagine how two weeks of eating take-out and leftover take out in a messy apartment has thrown me off track. I certainly anticipated it, but I'm still very worn out from the move. So, it's doubtful that I'll see any weight loss for a few weeks, but that's fine since my scale is packed away in a box I haven't found yet, lol!

Ah well, I know I'll get back on track. It'll just take some time.

Have a good week ladies! Mustang, good luck on the surgery. Keep us posted!

05-05-2013, 11:11 PM
I've felt horrible for a while. Then on Friday I learned that one of my friends on a support chat I go to died, then on Saturday, I found out another one had a heart attack and died. So now I feel more horrible. I was one of the last people my one friend talked to, and I don't understand why she didn't ask for help! I wish I could've been more attentive. She seemed ok, when she said she was going to leave for her psychiatrist. I wished her good luck. Why can't people ask for help!!!! I always do, even though that means I'm going to be in the hospital for weeks at a time.

I go see my psychiatrist tomorrow, so hopefully he won't send me to the hospital or tell me I can't work. I've been having such a hard time with work, I get so stressed out, then I just sit there and cry. I made the realization that I can't do what I used to do anymore, because I just can't handle it, and that makes me even more depressed. I hope he's just going to raise my lamictal. So we'll see what happens.

I'm also a total failure at life this weekend because I started smoking again.

05-05-2013, 11:42 PM
Hey there.

Coffeeshopgirl- It's great to see you! I hope you get settled into your new home. Moving can be so traumatic. I am considering a new move but I have been reconsidering whether or not I really want to do it. I think you'll get back on track. I take Xyzal for my allergies, it's a prescription, very similar to Zyrtec. It helps me out a lot but this has been one bad allergy season, not to whine. Well, as for talking with that guy, I said goodbye to him on the dating site because he was so horny. I think he has a good heart but he scared me off.

Moreta- :hug: I am very sorry for all of the loss that you are experiencing in your life. Sometimes, when it rains, it pours. I would cut yourself some slack about smoking. Hey, at least it seems to me that you realize that you want to be smoke free, which is great! Perhaps you can set a goal for yourself to limit your cigarettes and then quit again? I have never smoked but I know many people who smoke and I applaud anyone who wants to quit and actually does it.
Do you like your psychiatrist? Hopefully he will listen to you and not throw you into a hospital. If you feel unsafe though, perhaps a hospital is where you should be. I don't like psychiatric hospitals and psychiatric wards at all but they do serve a purpose. What good coping skills can you use- take a bubble bath, journal, deep breathing, imagery, and continuing to reach out to others are a start! Take good, gentle care of yourself. We care about you. :hug:

As for me, I am doing pretty well. I feel a lot happier than before I was exercising and eating healthier. I still crave carbohydrates but I know some foods are good in moderation. It was great for me to see a friend today, who is actually my long term ex-boyfriend. We both know each other like books and he always make me laugh. I want to make more friends but I am grateful for the close ones that I have and I am sincerely grateful for all of you.

Good night ;)

05-06-2013, 10:34 PM
Hi Moreta - I'm so sorry to hear about both of your friends. I honestly don't know why people don't feel like they can ask for help. All we can do is be a friend to the extent that people will let us. And I'm sure you are a great friend.

Good luck with the visit to your psychiatrist - I hope it goes well. With all the loss you've had this weekend, I can completely understand why you would start smoking again. Sure - it's a habit you're trying to break, but it's also a better coping skill than most things like overeating, drinking alcohol, etc. I certainly wouldn't call that a failure.

*hugs* Keep us posted and let us know how you're doing.

Hi Seabiscuit - Good to hear that you're feeling happier. Isn't it amazing what exercising can do for our mood? I'm also glad that you stopped talking to the horny guy. There's a time and place for that, but it sounds like you're looking for a relationship, not a quick route to sex.

You're so right about this Spring's allergies! I woke up late over the weekend and couldn't breathe well at all! I was all stuffy and it was because I didn't take my usual Zyrtec at 8am, lol. Glad we both have a defense strategy :cheer3:

As for me, today didn't feel like Monday. I'm not sure what day it actually felt like, just not a Monday. And, I was chatting on Facebook with two friends I haven't talked to in a while, when my account crashed! Talk about disappointed. I'll have to get in touch with them once my account is up and running, but talk about a pain! It's such a rare occasion when I have time to catch up with people. Ah well, tomorrow is another day. Just needed to whine about it I suppose.

Did everyone have a good Monday?

05-07-2013, 11:15 AM
I went to my psychiatrist yesterday, and he raised all my meds....which I'm ok with.

He also said "I'm surprised you've lasted this long without coming to see me." :stress:

Oh well. it's eerie how well he knows my limitations, but I did see him every month for 2 years. He really wants me to succeed at working, and so do I, so he's going to do whatever it takes.

Hope everyone has a good tuesday.

05-07-2013, 05:49 PM
Hi Coffeeshopgirl and Moreta-

Thank you, yes I have been feeling a bit happier. :) These allergies are really getting the best of me though, or at least they are, if I let them. I got my second round of 3 allergy shots yesterday, 2 in one arm, and 1 in another, then the nurse said that my arms looked fine. Well, I beg to differ because they were sore, they were slightly bruised and there was a little red rash near the injection site!! :?: I called my allergist's office this morning and was a bit irritated with them because I feel that my serum is too strong. This morning I had itchy eyes, I felt exhausted, I felt more congested and I actually had to leave volunteering because I felt so awful!! :mad: So, I apologized for being irritated with the nurse but she is going to leave a message for my allergist because something is not right with the allergy shot serum, either too many injections or the serum is too strong or something. It felt good to get that out, thank you for listening.

I just really get fed up with all of my health problems. I am so congested nasally and I want to be able to swim front crawl and put my head in the water but I am nervous because I am so congested. I have my first swim lesson on Tuesday. :cool: I am quite a good swimmer but I want to improve. I see my ear, nose and throat doctor a week from Friday.

Yes, I am glad that I said goodbye to that horny online dude. He was irking me. There are more fish in the sea, as they say.

Coffeeshopgirl, I hope your computer gets fixed! Computer problems are such a nuisance! :hug: Do you know a good computer tech?

Moreta, I hope you continue to succeed at working and use good coping skills. Do you like this psychiatrist?

I see my rheumatologist for my Fibromyalgia tomorrow and my psychiatrist Thursday.

Have a great rest of the day and great Wednesday everyone! ;)

Thank you so much for listening.

05-08-2013, 11:19 PM
Hi Moreta - I hope the increase in meds helps you feel better. You've certainly been through a rough time as of late.

Hi Sesbiscuit - Sorry to hear about your allergies. Seems like they're giving you a lot of trouble :( Not sure if this is an option for you, but when I was having bad allergy attacks, EmergenC Vitamin C drink (with hot water, I drink it like tea) really was a quick fix. Hope that helps!

Speaking of EmergenC, I started drinking some tonight. The Raspberry flavor is my favorite. My throat has been really hurting lately, and I hope I'm not getting sick. I've been running myself down ever since the move, and I haven't been eating that healthy and certainly not exercising. My goal is to get back on track this weekend. We're all moved in and just have some cleaning and organizing to do.

This weekend I'll be sure to get back on track. I can't afford to get sick, lol.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

05-09-2013, 09:37 PM
Hi Coffeeshopgirl!

Thanks for the tip about EmergenC- I will ask my pharmacist about it. I have heard good things about EmergenC. I really appreciate the advice and I am glad that it helps you. :)

How are you doing with the move? I hope everything is going well with getting adjusted to your new surroundings. Are your neighbors nice, do you like the neighborhood?

I am seriously considering moving to Philadelphia, currently I live in suburb of Philly. I wrote a long list of why I should stay in the suburb, but I really would like the independence of living in Philadelphia. It would be slightly more expensive to live in Philly, and I am not in charge of my finances, my family and Social Security pay my bills. My family is pressing me to find a job and while I am nervous and have a lot of anxieties about jobs, it would be easier for me to find a job in Philly. I don't drive and it is hard for me to get around out here in the 'burbs, I am reliant on a public transportation company that takes me to my medical appointments, I pay individuals to take me to places that I cannot or get a ride to and it gets pricey. There is a bus and train nearby, but hands down, there is more public transportation in Philly. I am nervous about a move because I would have to switch mental health providers, but two of my specialists are already in Philly. For me to switch my insurance, it would be very easy or so my case worker says. I am going to look at some areas in Philly with a relative a week from Saturday, but then I need to reinforce my case to move there to another relative who has a financial stranglehold on me so I can move there, and this lease expires in August.

What are all of your thoughts? I don't mind moving. I know the relative of mine who needs convincing about my moving, he wants me to secure a job first. This has been a long battle with him and how I feels that he controls me, hence we don't talk or see each other often. He thinks I should commute to Philly to get a job which is at least an hour train commute.

Sigh, I don't know what to do.

Have a good night.

05-10-2013, 03:09 AM
I think its been like 3 months since I posted.

I just started the 17 day diet Monday (I gained all my weight back that I lost 2 years ago....but there was a lot going on and life had a major change!) I have lost 8 pounds since monday which most of it probably is water weight since I pee ever 20 minutes now!! I have to stick with this. It seems to be working! We had planned a trip home for Easter and I really messed myself up and gained about 15 lbs before we went back. I tried to juice fast and could only make it till 5 or 6 o'clock and then I would binge and start over the next day. I tried this day after day after day....I dont know WHAT I was thinking I just made things worse. I tried to be all vegetarian and i would feel empty and by 5 or 6 I would binge again...So I am so pumped that without exercise this has worked (Now I am busy with two boys on two different baseball teams and my calorie burn daily around 2,900 (according to my bodybugg)

Well the computer keeps freezing and missing letter so I will type more later....hope everyone is doing ok!!

05-10-2013, 07:43 AM
Momof4, HI!! good to hear from you! I hope you continue your current diet success! let us know how you're doing :)

Mustang - how did the surgery go? :hug:

Moreta - oh my gosh I am so sorry about those tragic losses!!

coffeeshopgirl, congrats on the move :)

Seabiscuit - hmm I don't know how to advise on the move. Though it would put you right in the hub of things, compared to the 'burbs. Sorry about the allergy problems!

I am back to the summer job I love, yay! It is the pastry baking job so that is difficult for a chronic dieter :rolleye: but usually I have alot more willpower in the summer. I have actually GAINED weight since 'trying harder' to watch what I eat and work out harder. And I did measure and I am not smaller! so I gotta change something!!

05-10-2013, 07:42 PM
Hello ladies. I am sooooooo sorry I've been absent from the thread. These past 10 days have just flown by.

Work is going ok. This has been a busy week as my daughter has come home from college and we had to move her home on Wed. It was just me and her and my car to move all her stuff home. I was so tired Wednesday night, then had to turn around and get up at 5 am Thursday morning. whew

Anyway, Jennifer is home now and that makes me happy.

I am so glad today is Friday, i really need the weekend to recoup.

I went to the Y today and walked for 20 minutes. I got a good workout doing that. My heart was pounding and my I was breathless. Then i worked on my back muscles. i did 3 sets of 10 at 175 lbs. My lower back is weak and needs a lot of work. I am determined to work on it, that and my arms and legs.

I've missed you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!:hug:

05-11-2013, 09:05 PM
Hi everyone,

Momof4- Good luck with your weight loss plan. I hope that it works out well for you. It's great to see you around here.

VermontMom- Hey, it's great to see you! I appreciate you being understanding about my allergies and moving situation, thanks! How is it going as the pastry chef? That sounds delicious but so tempting. I bet you will do great with it! I think it is always important to know one's boundaries and limitations. Positive coping skills are also helpful too, I need to use mine more than I do.

Ohio- I've missed you too! That's great that your daughter is home, I am really happy for you! Have a great time with her! :) Good for you for going to the Y again! :carrot:

I am doing okay, but the highlight of my day and something that is so special to me is that I got to meet Ron Turcotte today, Secretariat's jockey!!! He was signing autographs in my town and I paid some $$ for an autographed black and white photo of him and Secretariat. It is beautiful and a family member is going to pay to have it framed for me, I am so excited! :D I am very happy because I have a piece of history in my home and I used to ride horses, I even showed Ron Turcotte the photo of me and my horse when I had him years back. Sigh, how I miss Wally.

It has been rainy weather here. I wanted to go to the Y and go swimming today but it has been so wet, rainy almost all week. Fortunately it looks sunnier in the forecast for the next few days! :sunny: I even have my first swim lesson on Tuesday! I want to encourage myself to swim more often in between lessons so I can show my instructor what I have been working on. I am a good swimmer but I want to improve and I am really looking forward to this.

I guess I am doing okay, a bit depressed though lately. I saw my psychiatrist who I like and he doesn't know of another medicine other than the one that I am currently on that would help me the way this one does without the memory side effects. :( I also want to see my therapist every other week and she wanted to do every week but I am tired of spending hours in an office every week. So, we're trying every other week and we'll see what happens.

I don't have many plans for tomorrow. I haven't gone to church for awhile so maybe I should do that. I have to do more laundry too. I would like to go swimming.

Have a great Saturday night everyone!! :)

05-12-2013, 10:47 PM
Hey there,

I am sad. I got into an argument with a family member about some sensitive topics and I got off the phone in hysterics. :( Fortunately, a different family member calmed me down and encouraged me to email a note to that person, and they will talk to them tomorrow. That is huge of them, I can breathe a little sigh of relief. I think it is unfortunate between this one family member and I, they seem to think that I just want their money but I really do love them. I feel very sad tonight after talking with this family member even though I know that they love me. I was feeling incredibly scared and actually unsafe but I managed to calm myself down, or well my other family member did. We'll see how the conversation goes tomorrow between them both.

I am going to go take a bath and then go to sleep. I have an appointment in the morning, and that is over an hour away via train.

I hope everyone here is doing better than I am tonight, sigh.

05-13-2013, 02:57 AM
Seabiscuit-I should so take swimming lessons I know the basics and thats about it! It would be fun if I did it with the kids and we all learned to!! It is great excercise!!! That is awesome you got to meet Ron!!! :)

Ohio- I remember college move days I went to college in Ohio and lived in Pa so it was a trip too!!! I am sure you were exhausted!!

Vermont- And this is about the time we dont hear from you much cause you are always out riding or working the fun job!! LOL

Been a good spoiled me!!

We had to put my 10 year old on an antidepressant for some massive mood swings and the dr thinks its some depression. They gave him Prozac first and he went crazy...LIKE almost wasn't aware of his called that he was sitting in the office singing and just not himself. He said he felt so weird and it made him just feel silly. So yeah I dont like Prozac at all anyways so now we are trying Celexa but it seemed to make him angry throughout the day the first day so we will see. We are working on moving back to Pa as soon as a church opens up. The kids are struggling not being close to family and the culture in the west is really different than the east so we have had a difficult adjusting!! I think that will help him plus we will be going back to homeschool and he should do much better again!!

We have a field trip to Mt. St. Helens tomorrow so I gotta get to bed!!! Night all!!

05-13-2013, 04:42 PM
Hi Mom of 4-

How are you today? I am glad that your kids spoiled you! I am sorry though that your son was put on an antidepressant. I am on an antidepressant and it was trial and error for me too. I hope your family finds what works best for him. :hug:

I am really looking forward to my swimming lesson tomorrow and to volunteering before that. I missed out on volunteering last week due to allergies and a bad nosebleed but I am feeling better now, :carrot:

Emotionally, I feel happier too. :) I was depressed last night but I am feeling better. I am looking forward to seeing my therapist on Wednesday. I hope that will be helpful for me.

Have a great day everyone!


05-14-2013, 06:57 AM
Hey everyone :)

Seabiscuit, first that is so kewl that you met Secretariat's jockey! What a magnificent horse he was, I remember the fever pitch when he won the Triple Crown. And I'm sorry about the phone call that got you so upset a couple nights ago. Have a great swimming session today!

momof4, hi!! oh gosh I'm sorry about your son and trying to find something to help him, poor kid. Glad he's got parents that aren't saying 'its all in your head, get over it' :rolleyes: And sorry the move was not the best, hope something better comes up soon for you.

Ohio, I am glad your dear daughter is home with you now! :hug:

and Hi to everyone else.

Yes back at the job I love, YAY. And the time of year I love, double yay!! (well anything besides winter I love!) Been too cold for me to ride the motorcycle but hope that changes soon.

A co-worker is trying to quit smoking and said her doctor gave her a timed release Wellbutrin which she had an allergic reaction to...I WANT her bottle of pills, lol, i take Wellbutrin and would love a free month's supply, but don't want her to know I take anti's, I know I shouldn't be ashamed but she does divulge secrets to other people and I don't care for that...My price for 3 months of Wellbutrin is like $90, that's my co-pay.

well it's nice to see this thread so active!

05-14-2013, 07:35 AM
Hi Holly-

Thanks, yes, it was wonderful to meet Secretariat's jockey. It was a once in a lifetime experience! Now I want to get the black and white, autographed photo framed and a family member said that they would get that for me as a gift!

Thank you for your kind words about my argument with the other family member. This person means a lot to me but we don't see eye to eye a lot and it is frustrating and upsetting. I think this individual can have good but unrealistic intentions and is controlling and he said some unkind things. Oh well, we all say some things that we probably shouldn't say when we get upset, I think.

Have a great day everyone. I am off to volunteer soon!


05-16-2013, 10:36 AM
Hello friends.

Not much going on here except for work, work, work.

Does anyone watch Joel Osteen on Sunday mornings? He is a preacher who has a 1/2 hour show. I just love him. He really is wonderful. I follow him on Facebook too, so inspirational.

I need to get back to the gym. I've been remiss in going.

Hope you all are well.

Aunty Jam
05-16-2013, 02:26 PM
Hey everyone..... sorry I keep going AWOL :( I've realized something though. And I know this is one of my crazy things but it's the truth. Trying to keep up to this form causes me anxiety. I don't want to just pop in, tell you what's new with me and not contribute to the conversations happening. But I can't get here regularly enough to contribute positively.

I'm not sure what the solution is, I do miss our conversations but I'm not sure I can be here.

05-16-2013, 07:42 PM
Hi everyone,

Aunty Jam, I just want you to know that I hear where you are coming from and I empathize with you. I feel like I probably shouldn't be coming here as often as I do, even though when I do, it is to give and get support. I feel like there are other things for me to do with my time and keeping up with all of these threads gets time consuming and overwhelming too. I just had to say that and that I feel a bit depressed still.

Take care everyone.

05-16-2013, 08:08 PM
I got out of the hospital yesterday after a 5 day stay in the psych ward. I didn't sleep for 2 days, and I was already doing bad, so I had a mental break down. I feel somewhat better. I only slept 4 hrs last night though, so hopefully I sleep tonight. I have to do a partial hospitalization program next week, I go in for my intake tomorrow. I hope it's just going to last 2 weeks, I can't be missing a bunch of work.

The psych at the hospital asked me why I wasn't on disability, so now I'm doubting everything in my life. I hadn't been in the hospital in 2 years, so I thought I was doing better. I've been 4 times since 2009. Maybe I should go on disability, idk. I like working though, sometimes I just can't handle it though. I've lost most of my jobs b/c of the bipolar. I'm not sure what to do. I went back to work today and didn't accomplish much cause I was so tired.

Hope everyone is well.

05-16-2013, 10:41 PM

I hope that you continue to feel better. I know that hospital stays can be upsetting. I have been in psychiatric hospitals and psychiatric wards of hospitals a number of times and I usually find it upsetting to be there. I hope that your partial hospitalization program helps you out and that you can transition to work smoothly.

I am on psychiatric disability and it does help out with my finances a lot. It may be something to consider.

Take care.


05-16-2013, 10:56 PM
It's nice reading these messages guys.

It makes my life seem a little less crazy knowing other have real problems. Sorry to read about your son, Momof4

Some days, when I'm really down about my weight, reading these types of posts make me feel connected to the world


05-17-2013, 09:22 PM
Hi everyone,
It's the 1-year anniversary of my abortion. So I've been feeling a little sad. I don't regret the decision. I think I actually saved a life by not bringing it into this world. I am not ready to pass on my genes or to take care of another being.
But I'm still feeling a bit sad and vulnerable. So it's been harder to stay on my food plan. I've binged more than I wanted to.:(

Thank you for being here. I've read what people are struggling in their lives and it helps me.:p

05-18-2013, 11:58 AM
awwwwwwwww Everyone sounds like they are struggling so much. That makes me so sad. I wish I could help you all out somehow.

Moreta, I have put myself in the hospital before for help too so I have an idea what you are going through. i've actually been in twice. I truly wanted to die. I was in such pain. I am lucky though. I went and got a Dr and a therapist and got help for my pain. i learned that i was strong and not weak. I was not broken, it was an illness. I hope you get better, friend.

I'm still struggling with anxiety but my meds are still helping me get through. I wish it would go away. i hate feeling shaky.

I will check back in later today to see if anyone has posted. Perhaps I can give some support.

Welcome to all the newcomers, it is lovely to have you all. You are always welcome here.

05-18-2013, 03:06 PM
Hi Everyone,

Sounds like we've all been through some troubling times lately. My heart goes out to all who've been struggling as of late :hug: . It's good to see your posts and that you're continuing to reach out for support.

I admit that I've been experiencing some down time as well. The move has taken a lot out of me, and other stressors have come up recently too. I'm working more and more, and I'm running myself down. With that, I know I've gone up in pounds, or at least I've become flabby. I'm thankful that my pants are still fitting! While it makes sense that I've been eating poorly and not exercising as we've been unpacking and cleaning on the weekends, it doesn't excuse the fact that I've been a zombie for about a month now. As I write this out, it makes sense that I've been down in the dumps.

So, there's my whining - now what to do about it? Well, first things first - I'm cleaning my house (not unpacking anymore - cleaning). I sent the husband out with some friends and I'm taking it one room at a time. I've already gotten through the living room and bathroom, and the next beast to tackle is the bedroom. Luckily, with my food prep method, the kitchen stays relatively clean during the week. Next on my agenda is stepping onto the treadmill OR going for a bike ride - either way, I'm getting in 30 minutes of cardio every day this week.

My third goal for the weekend is to start reading again. Now that my books are unpacked, it's time to read myself to sleep again, rather than mentally checking out to the point of sleep like I've been doing. And I wonder why I haven't had much to talk about lately? Because I haven't been filling my mind with anything other than work and cleaning/unpacking. Granted, I know it needs to be done, but it's time to give myself some attention too.

Been missing posting on this thread - you ladies are a big emotional support for me. I hope we are all coming out of our down times and things are beginning to look up for us all.

Happy Weekend!


05-18-2013, 08:22 PM
Hello again, I want to make a confession. I have not been going to the gym like I should be. I just can't seem to make myself go.. Tomorrow, I will go. They open at noon and I will go and walk, plus lift some weights. Once you stop going, it really is hard to get yourself to start going again.

I know I can confess these things to you here and you will not judge me. It's probably been a week since I have walked. I have been a very bad girl. I will start going tomorrow. Maybe if I make a schedule to go and work it into my week, I will go more???

What do you all think? Make a schedule of when to go to the gym?

05-18-2013, 10:32 PM
A schedule is a great idea! Actually having a set time to go always works for me. When i was going to the gym, it had to be first thing in the morning. Dunno why - it just worked for me. Now that i work out at home, it's always right after work. If I didn't eat well enough throughout the day and I have dinner when I get home - no work out happens.

Also, starting over the weekend helped me get back on track. Having Saturday to get my stuff done and then a relaxing Sunday where I could go to the gym whenever (usually around 2 or 3 pm) and do a long walk or a short lift was helpful. Then Monday, I got back into my normal workout/work routine.

I def give a thumbs up for making a workout schedule. Good luck! Let us know how it goes. :cheer3:

05-18-2013, 10:35 PM
hello all, I worked 68 hours this week so that is why I haven't posted!

Moreta, I am so sorry you had to be hospitalized, that must have been awful. I hope you can figure out what is best for you.

lady Kahlo, that is a sad anniversary. we all make decisions that are so hard even though we know it's best .I hope the pain fades as the years go by.

Aunty Jam, I miss you but if you truly have identified that it causes you anxiety to think about posting here, well you need to do what is best for you, girly :) of course we would miss you but we would fondly think of you and wish you the best in life!!

Hi Seabiscuit, I hope you had a good day :) did you get to the gym as you wanted? have you reached a decision about moving into the city?

coffeeshopgirl, congrats on your definite goals!

ohio, we will NEVER ever judge you for not working out! Maybe a written schedule would help. If you ever need us to be your drill sergeants, let us know :)

DietHope, please always feel free to read or talk here if you want!

I am entering the time of year that I LOVE. I love the month of May, I love my summer job, I love riding my motorcycle, I love being outdoors till 8:30 pm just doing things around the lawn and garden..but i feel if I didn't take my Wellbutrin, I would not be the at-peace person I feel like now.

05-19-2013, 04:01 PM
So I decided to step on the scale today. To my surprise, it read 182.8 lbs. I was anticipating 185 - 187 lbs, so I def consider this a win. With all the whining I've done the past few days/posts, it's time again to tell you all about my awesome food prep! I'll also include my exercise plans for the week.

Breakfast: 1 whole wheat roll (100 cals) with avacado (50 cals) or choc peanut butter spread (60 cals) and 2 turkey sausage links (180 cals) - 330 - 340 cals
Coffee: 1 large cup of coffee with approx 3/4 cup of 2% milk - approx 120 cals
Snack: 1/2 cup fat free plain greek yogurt (60 cals) with 1 Tbsp granola (40 cals) - 100 cals
Lunch: Tuna spread (80 cals), whole wheat roll (100 cals), 1 apple (70 cals) - 250 cals
Pre-Workout Snack: 1 cup blackberries - 60 cals
Dinner: Chicken salad - approx 400 cals

So far, that's only 1270 calories. I know I've been eating a lot more lately, so I'll see how many calories my body will be looking for. If anything, I'll make a larger dinner salad if I'm feeling too hungry.


I'm going to start slowly and make a goal of 30 minutes of cardio each day this week. I have a choice of a walk, a bike ride, or the elliptical. This will depend on the day, and I'll let you know how it goes.

With me luck! Getting back on track is tough for the first week, but it'll get easier as the week goes on.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend. :cool:

05-19-2013, 06:09 PM
Hey everyone,

Oh wow, I am so tired. I am pretty sure that my fatigue is from my spring allergies, sigh. I was supposed to be getting allergy shots but they were giving me a reaction so I go tomorrow to pick up the allergy vials from my primary doctor and on Wednesday I go to the allergist to get the serum diluted. I am not looking forward to this whole allergy shot deal, my arms were sore before and I had little rashes and bruises on my arms from where the shots were given. :( I have to do this every week for a year! Then, I can go to every other week, I think but it is still a lot of time spent at the doc. I guess if it keeps me from being sick and it helps my allergies, maybe it's worth it.

Yesterday, I spent the day with a family member which was a lot of fun. She came down to see me and we spent time together. I was tired afterwards and we had a full but fun day! :) I am going to see her and other family members in July, and again in October to see a relative who lives further away, yay!

I haven't been eating as healthy lately, I ordered in Chinese food tonight which tastes yummy but it's definitely not so healthy, or at least, not what I ordered. I want to start eating healthier but food is a way of coping with my feelings and emotions, sigh. I also get a lot of pleasure from food. I really do want to get healthier though and I see some doctors soon so I will get weighed, so I better start eating better.

I don't know about moving, I think the family member who mainly controls my finances wants me to get a job first here where I live so I want to continue that job search. I am nervous about working again, I also don't know how much energy I will have, but that's what he wants and he controls my finances. We don't have the healthiest relationship and that saddens me.

Well, I spent most of the day in bed and I think I am going to veg out in front of the TV, I am so tired with these allergies! It is also a very rainy day.

Have a good night.

Aunty Jam
05-22-2013, 12:55 PM
Hey guys....... I don't want to quit, it just makes me feel bad to not personally address people... and once I start I have to address everyone (OCD) and that's what stresses me out and causes most of the anxiety. Isn't that stupid? Yeesh. Also, I usually only get on at work, because my computer at home is really bad. And I'm terrified someone at work will find out I'm on this place... I work with a bunch of rough guys so they'd never understand.

I will tell you a few good things.... I've been very active lately, my eating wasn't good though and I wasn't losing any weight. So when they brought up a health challenge at work I jumped on it... it's easy, mostly stuff I already do (get exercise, sleep, eat veggies... etc). But it also says smaller portions and no snacking! It's given me the motivation to get my eating under control :) So I'm sure a lot of it is water weight but I've dropped almost 6 pounds in just over 2 weeks. I think I'm going to keep doing it myself after it ends... I HAVE to have some kind of motivation like that, I love challenges. The trick will be not saying "Screw it" since I don't have anyone to compete with. But I'm going to try and have a perfect week because I haven't managed to do that yet.

Also, it looks like hubby will be going back to work on June 3rd so we'll be fine for at least as long as he's working :) He made $300 doing side jobs yesterday so we went out and got a bunch of groceries and he says "I'm glad I can do this.. it feels good". So I'm glad to hear he likes helping to support his family :dz: We've got a few bills stressing me out a bit but hopefully we'll get those dealt with soon.

Other than that I'm in a good mood, weather is finally nice SNOW's GONE!!!! The $200 truck camper we picked up last summer is holding up really well and it makes camping easy. My sister moved back to town at the end of last summer and she's been helping out with Mom... I'm anticipating this Fathers day to be kind of rough though :( I plan on getting an airplane bottle of my dad's favourite scotch and pouring it on his grave. Maybe a bigger one if we can afford it... and give him a few shots then keep it for him and repeat this. We still don't even have the marker engraved :( Disrespectful of us.

05-22-2013, 04:38 PM
Just wanting to stop by and say hi to everyone on this forum. I am just starting to feel a bit more like myself again after battling back another bout of depression. I hope that this will be the last one for awhile. I am getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.

05-22-2013, 06:54 PM
:wave: Hi Aunty Jam! It is so good to see you! :D

I must say, I was a bit sad from your last post on this thread because I think you are an awesome person and I hate to see anyone leave, especially someone as kind and caring as you. ;) I know the feeling of not having a lot of time to write on the computer though. Your feelings aren't stupid. :hug:

I get obsessive sometimes too and I know some other people who get obsessive, it's okay.

YAY for your weight loss and the health challenge, keep up the awesome work!! :carrot:

I'm glad things are getting better for you financially. I know money is a stressful issue for a lot of people, including myself.

I'm sorry for your loss. I would be upset too if I had experienced a loss in addition to some strong emotions connected to that individual. Be gentle with yourself, take care. :hug:


Hi, I hope you get a lot out of this forum. I do! I know the feeling of 'sick and tired.' Here's to feeling better!! :cool:

As for me, I am doing well. I had a busy day but it was a pretty good one. I had a medical appointment and I had a bit of reaction to the medicine to what the nurse gave me, not anyone's fault. I am glad I was in the office! The weird thing is I have been given that medicine numerous times and I have never experienced that reaction but my doctor thinks it was from nerves. :dizzy: I'm just not sure. Well, I am feeling better now, and I had a hearing test which came back with very good results. :cool:

On my way home I got to see a close friend of mine and we spent the afternoon together, I am actually a bit sunburnt because we sat outside, who would think sunburn on a spring day, right?! :p It was great to see him and have a lot of laughs, smiles and fun at lunch and with each other.

I am very fortunate and grateful to one individual in my family who is so emotionally supportive of me and loving. I wish more people in my family were like him. I cry on the phone with him, partially because he understands me in ways that no one else does, but also because I miss him so much, we live in different areas of the country. Thank God for phone, email and photos! :)

Tonight, I think I will go on my third swim of the week- yay! :carrot: I haven't swam this much for awhile. :cool: I love to swim, it almost always soothes and relaxes me.

Be well everyone! ;)

05-24-2013, 06:44 AM
Hello! Aunty Jam, it is so good to hear that some things are going great for you! congrats on the health challenge at work, and heck 6 pounds down is 6 pounds down and a huge motivator isn't it. Don't say screw it :devil: :p

I can understand the stress of wanting to say hi here, but feeling that one must go back and read what others have said, and address them personally because it IS nice when someone listens to you :D but we understand if you don't have the time, especially if you're at work.

Hi meandu :wave:

Seabiscuit, sorry about the allgergies! that must be a pain. I hope they are not bothering you now, will they be over once summer is officially here? I hope so. Your relative who you talked to, sounds wonderful. I hope the other relative, is not hard on you about where to live, jobs, etc.

Hi to everyone else!!

I am doing pretty darned well with my eating, which is so hard for me. The exercise is an ingrained habit but it can't do anything much for me if I don't create a calorie deficit (duh, huh :p ) I am trying to make friends with my stomach telling me it's hungry when I know it isn't really. Shut up, you :devil: I am doing an 8 Week Fat Loss and Strength program I bought for only $6.99 from, I am putting my trust in these guys and hope to be peeling some fat away from my muscles soon.

05-24-2013, 03:23 PM
Hello everyone. I am just checking in, I don't have much to say. I am so tired today. I am fighting a migraine, not a good day to try and be cheerful.

I hope this post finds you all well and if not, may you find health and peace.

05-26-2013, 06:52 PM

Hi everyone,

It is great to hear from you, Holly :chef: I hope that you are doing well. How is your job going? Are you still considering titrating your medicines down? My philosophy for the moment is, "if it isn't broken, don't fix it." If your medicines are working well, I would stick with them but consult health professionals about potential changes or concerns.

Thank you for your kind words, especially about my relatives. I had an argument with one of them last night but we resolved it today. I feel guilty relying on the other relative for emotional support. He says he doesn't mind but I know he has his own issues and I don't want to lean on him like that. I am so lucky to have him and other relatives, I get to see them in June too.

Hi Ohiofreespirit, I hope that your migraines improve. :hug: I get migraines too and I know how upsetting and debilitating they are. What helps me is to wear a dark, soft eye mask, make the area dark, such as close the blinds, stay away from loud sounds and bright lights and to rest. Do you see a neurologist? The neurologist who I saw before he retired recommended a good book called Heal Your Headache. It is about headaches, how they work in your brain and what steps you can take to get relief, I recommend that book.

I am doing pretty well. I saw some friends yesterday and today, which was great. They are so supportive of me, we should get together more often. We saw the movie "42" about Jackie Robinson, and it is an excellent movie! We also had dinner together and spent a lot of good quality time together, we had a lot of laughs and smiles. I am glad that I am close to some friends who live near me. I still feel a bit stressed and depressed about family issues, losing weight and finding a job. I am going to try to take things one thing at a time and not give up on myself, love myself. I am going back to weekly therapy and I saw my psychiatrist last week, he is lowering my dosage of Topamax. I hope that it helps my memory.

Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Take care, God bless all of you and the USA. We are a great bunch of people, let's stick the tough times and good times out together.


05-26-2013, 07:04 PM
Hello everyone. The end of the month is almost here. I can't believe it is almost June already.

I am on vacation this week. I kind of need the break but I will miss the money.

I'm sorry I don't have much to say.

seabiscuit I do see a neurologist and she has me on medicine that usually keeps the migraines at bay. Once in a while, one will sneak up on me. I hate that feeling, the tightening in my head. Thank goodness I don't get them often anymore.

Take care everyone.

05-26-2013, 08:23 PM
Hi guys,
I'm back with my tail between my legs and 30 lbs heavier! I've been trying to deal with my anxiety and OCD and right now just trying to get some structure in my life in terms of sleeping at regular times, allowing myself time to relax before bed, and just getting myself into a stable routine. Also trying to work on the negative self-talk and using strategies to stop obsessing.

So this is my work this summer while I'm not in school and while I'm trying to save up some money...

In terms of WL, I just found out I'm borderline diabetic and 273 lbs just way too much for my 5'2 frame especially at 30. It scared me that I am prediabetic at 30 years old. So June 1st I will be doing 12 weeks of the medically supervised Optifast program and then after transitioning back to solid foodI'm thinking about trying WW. After struggling with the decision, I've decided to try the optifast program because it takes all the COUNTING out of dieting, which isa major OCD trigger for me.

Looking forward to settling back in!

05-27-2013, 12:32 AM
Hi there.

Hi Ohio,

I am glad that you see a neurologist. I see one also but I have to change to a new one because the one that I was seeing before is moving to a practice which does not accept my insurance. I see the new neurologist in June. I still get migraines too but I have found a good migraine medicine that seems to be helping. I take it if I need it and it's a great medicine but I am also on Topamax which is for migraines. My psychiatrist has me on a lower dosage of the Topamax after both of us discussing it causing memory and cognition issues for me. I hope that the lower dosage of Topamax won't cause my migraines to occur more often and they usually occur in warmer weather.

Enjoy your vacation week! I know the feeling of wanting and needing $$$, I am not working right now but this past week, I blew through a lot of my $ and now I have to borrow from my savings to pay a bill. I will repay it though, and I am glad I catching myself doing this. It is amazing what mind games the mental illnesses can play. Well I hope I didn't ramble on too long.

Happy Memorial Day!!!

Hi Pudgy Flamingo :wave:,

:hug: It sounds to me like you are going through a lot now. I am wishing you all of the best and I send my support to you.

My highest weight was 271. That was a few years ago, and I was stunned and shocked at the scale, but it was also a 'light-bulb' moment for me. I realized that I didn't want to get to 300 lbs, and I started losing weight. I did it through disciple, healthy eating and I think at the time I was on the Jenny Craig program. I don't do that program anymore but it did help me lose weight. I have also done Medifast, which may be similar to Optifast, I am not sure. I was also a Weight Watcher member on and off again multiple times. It worked, I reached my 10% weight loss mark but I got tired of counting points, dishing out money and paying them to weigh me. What I have found through years of diets, is that it is important to make a decision to change eating habits and incorporate exercise as decisions and ways to live for a lifetime. Diets didn't do the trick for me, they were a temporary solution to a permanent problem, like putting a bandaid on a life threatening illness.

Right now, I am eating more fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, making an effort to eat less carbohydrates and when I do, I choose the healthier whole grain ones usually. I also have food allergies so I do avoid certain foods although at times I give into them. I am exercising more by swimming, walking, and I am about to start biking and playing tennis. I find that when I am more active, I am happier. :)

I wish you all the best in your endeavor with weight loss. These are my experiences and opinions. I hope that they have shed some light on your decision but I do not want to sway you. Perhaps you can journal about what would help you or speak to a trusted friend or counselor for advice too, but ultimately I suggest that you follow your heart.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY everyone. God bless our troops, veterans and country.

05-27-2013, 12:45 PM
Welcome back pudgyflamingo!

Don't you feel bad about coming back heavier. It happens to the best of us. I have not been using the gym like I should. I dread going. I need to get to the reason why?

None of us are perfect.

I hope this day finds you all happy, healthy and in peace.

05-27-2013, 06:38 PM
Thanks guys! I am just doing the medifast to hopefully get my blood sugar okay and then I'm going to try to just eat healthier. I have a long history of eating disorders so removing the whole eating thing completely for a few months will hopefully help that. :)

05-27-2013, 07:38 PM
Hi everyone,


It is good to hear from you. I hope that your migraines have subsided. Happy Memorial Day! Have a great start to the week. ;)


I wish you all the best with Medifast. I did Medifast for awhile and it worked. I did it upon the recommendation of an internist. There is a Medifast website where there is a chat room and bulletin boards. I found that somewhat supportive while I was on that program. I know I have some type of disordered eating too. :hug:

I had a great day today with a friend and her family at a barbecue. It was great to be out with them and I had a lot of fun. I brought a lined basket with American flag ribbon tied to it and I gave red seedless grapes, raspberries and blueberries, patriotic, right? I also did well by not eating many things that were unhealthy, :carrot: although I did eat some of my foods I am not supposed to eat because of allergies, oh well, I didn't have a reaction and I had fun. :cool:

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY everyone! God bless the USA!

05-27-2013, 09:37 PM
I have to comment, I love how Seabiscuit communicates such thoughtful contributions!! you are so kind to us :) I'm glad you had a great-sounding Memorial Day celebration :cool:

pudgyflamingo, welcome back!! and best wishes :hug:

Hi Ohio :wave: and everyone else :)

I am happy..and I am healthy..but I want something sweet and cake-y so badly!!! At work today, I made dozens of from-scratch vanilla cupcakes with a buttery sweet icing and sprinkles..both mini-sized and regular...and I did not eat a single one!! but I want something so bad now. I am NOT losing weight as I want to, I've been doing a new exercise program and really, really watching what I eat and it's been almost 3 weeks but I"ve hardly lost anything (like a solid 2 pounds) and yes I took measurements, they have not gone down yet either. It is sooooo frustrating :mad:

05-27-2013, 11:12 PM
Hi Everyone!

Hope you all had a good Memorial Day. I went to visit my mom for the weekend, and we had a nice visit. Traffic was good, weather was good, company was great.

Sorry I haven't been as responsive lately. I need to be honest - I've been binge eating for the past few weeks and it's finally caught up with me emotionally and physically. And after 2 weeks (or so) of trying to talk myself out of it, I finally stepped onto my elliptical tonight. Yay! I've actually been very stressed out over the last 5-6 weeks, and I guess the binge eating finally worked its way through my previously good habits. Ah well, I can't focus on the past, I just have to be glad that I'm breaking out of it, right?

Tonight I ran for 20 minutes on the elliptical. I might use my P90X dvds to guide my workouts this week. It breaks the workouts into muscle groups, and event if I do 30 minutes (they're typically an hour long) I will be on a good track for the week.

I just really hope I have the motivation to keep up the good habits. We shall see, and I'm hoping to be more attentive soon.

Hope everyone is doing well.

05-28-2013, 02:39 AM

I am so touched by your kind words. Thank you so much. :) :hug: I find this community incredibly supportive of me and helpful to me in my recovery. I am glad that I am able to be supportive to all of you too. :cool:

Your cupcakes sound yummy, now I see why your 'road name' is cupcake! :D I had a good cupcake that my friend and her relative made today, delicious.

Good for you for doing so well with your eating. I hope that your weight loss comes along for you, I think it will in time. As Billy Joel, who is one of my favorite musicians says, Keep The Faith!!! :D


It is great to hear from you. That's so nice that you had a nice visit. :)

It sounds like you have been under a lot of stress lately, perhaps that is why you have been bingeing. I hope you can use ways to cope positively rather than turning to overeating. I've been down that road of stress eating and I still do it, I am working on more positive ways to deal with my stress. Recovery is hard work but it is so worth it!

That's great that you were on the elliptical. :carrot: That is great exercise! I find exercising boosts my mood. :) I wish you all the best with your motivation, perhaps journal about it?

Well, I am going to bed in about 10 minutes, I am tired. The pollen count is high here, I think and I am tired. I am glad that I had a good weekend for the most part and that I have people in my life who care about me. I'm grateful that all of you care about me too, thank you. ;)

I have a lot to do this week, two doctors to see, one therapy appointment and 8 hours of volunteering all packed into 4 days! Whoa, just thinking about makes me a bit nervous but I know that I will get through it one moment at a time.

Hugs :hug: and support to all of you. Have a positive start to the week. :)

05-28-2013, 10:04 AM
I am so sorry you are struggling. Stress will do that to you. Are you under undue stress lately? I always am with this anxiety of mine. I will say some prayers for you.

VermontMom, it is so good to see you. I miss you when you are gone for a while.

seabiscuit, Yes, my migraines have subsided for now. I am very lucky. I am on Topamax too and it really helps. I couldn't get by without it.

I am going to cheer myself up by ordering some new clothes for this summer from Woman Within. They have lovely plus size clothes. I ordered 3 different pair of white jeans and a bathing suit. I love white jeans, I think they look kind of dressy with nice shirts.

Will check back in later.

05-28-2013, 06:33 PM
Seabiscuit - I'm so happy at how attentive you are in this thread! You're such a positive force, and I appreciate the kind words and motivation. To answer your question/suggestion of journaling- I've found that in the past, journaling about stress makes me dwell on it (not always positively). So, what works for me is allowing myself to relax, which usually leads to bad habits if I don't pull myself back into good habits. Then, once I talk about it here and there, motivating myself with a plan, I eventually pull myself back up. All in all, this past stress was from the move - talk about exhausting! I will, however, think about ways to get back on track sooner rather than later.

Good luck with your busy week! I'm so proud of you for volunteering - I know you bring a lot of positivity wherever you go.

ohiofreespirit - Thank you for the prayers! As far as my stress goes, it was from my move almost 4 weeks ago now. It was probably a total of 2 months of stress because we had to decide on moving, find a place, finances, the physical move, unpacking (for weeks and weeks!). We're finally getting onto better habits as we've unpacked and cleaned the new place, but for a while we were eating poorly and our exercise was unpacking (ugh). So, it's been a bit of constant stress, but the good thing is that I'm going back to 8 hr days for a while. So happy to be home and have energy to work out!

VTMom - I'm reading about the cupcakes/sweets you made, and I want one too now! lol Good for you for not giving into temptation! Did you take the motorcycle out for Memorial weekend? We've been going on some motorcycle rides when they weather's been nice, but we've had a lot of rain over here.

Here's my exercise plan for tonight (just taking it day by day):
Chest, Back, and Abs (30 mins)
Elliptical (30 mins)

I'll report back tomorrow. :) Take care!

05-28-2013, 11:33 PM
Hey there...

Hi Ohiofreespirit,

That's great your migraines have subsided for now. :) My psychiatrist is reducing my Topamax because of the cognition and memory problems, I take it for my Bipolar. I hope my new neurologist can suggest something other than Topamax for my migraines. I take Cambia as needed for migraines and that helps a lot.

I think Woman Within has some nice clothes too. Once, I had trouble getting a refund from them on a debit card but I do like some of their clothes.

Take care. ;)

Hi Coffeeshopgirl,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt and touching words. :D Your sincere and sweet words brings a big smile to my face!

I want to be as positive as I can and I try to do that. It isn't always easy. I try to carry that over into volunteering and I think I helped out a patient today with my positivity. Sometimes I get depressed, sad and angry but it truly helps to have people such as you who appreciate my positivity! THANK YOU! :cool:

Journaling can be upsetting for me too although I love to write. That frustrates me because I have always loved to write!

Good luck with finding ways to relax and cope with your feelings and emotions positively. ;)

I am doing pretty well. I wanted to go swimming indoors at my Y tonight but I was tired and I let myself relax too. Perhaps I will go tomorrow. I am excited because as an early birthday gift, my birthday is July 13, a family member bought me some private 1/2 hour tennis lessons. I am going on Monday to a tennis club and going to play with a pro, I haven't played for awhile but I am excited. My new racket and tennis balls came from Amazon recently. There are courts near me and I want to find someone to rally with. I also want to get to the bike store to get a new cap for my bike so the air will stay in the tire, the cap I have doesn't fit it. I definitely want to stay more active!

Tomorrow morning, I see my hematologist for iron deficient anemia, it has improved and also to monitor my advanced stage fatty liver. The good news is that I think my iron levels are better now, and I can continue to reverse the fatty liver by weight loss! That is a definite motivator for me to keep eating healthier. :carrot: I weighed myself tonight just to give myself a ballpark idea about tomorrow's weigh in and I lost about five pounds, :cool:

Well, have a nice night chicks!

Take care.

05-29-2013, 10:59 AM
Seabiscuit - thanks for the Medifast encouragement. I'm glad to know it helped you. Good job resisting the BBQ temptation!

VermontMom - talk about crazy willpower! I absolutely can't resist cake!

Coffeeshopgirl - i know how hard getting out of the emotional rut can be. Good luck pushing through it!

Ohiofreespirit - i think new clothes are a great way of motivating! I know when I take care of how i look i always feel a bit better.

I'm having a bit of a hard time getting back on plan. I'm down because I am finding it physically very hard to work on my feet, and emotionally just feeling so burned out that it's hard to drag myself to work. I'm sad and lonely and my self-esteem is pretty low. I've done a pretty goodjob of isolating myself and it's really hard to crawl out of that. I'm also getting sick of the metal pins and cast on my broken hand. I see the doctor today and hopefully they will remove them.

Happy hump day everyone

05-29-2013, 04:13 PM
:hug: PudgyFlamingo :hug:

I hope that your day improves and that you feel better regarding your hand and your self-esteem soon. Self-esteem has been an issue for me for a lot of my life too, I empathize with you. I also sprained my wrist awhile back which I am sure is not nearly as painful as a break but I know how frustrating it is when a limb is affected. I was in a walking boot for two months and it was not fun but I sure did get a lot of comments on it. I isolate too and it is tempting to do at the time for me but I do feel better when I get out with others.

Sigh, as for me, I feel a bit depressed and frustrated. I am glad that I am seeing my therapist today. I saw my doctor for my iron deficient anemia and my advanced fatty liver today, he is very nice but I waited an hour and a half to see him. It is typical for people to wait to see him, I like him but it frustrating. I was a little upset that my weight was higher on their scale than on mine. I like this doctor but I am upset, he showed me a video of his newborn that he is understandably excited about, but I didn't go to his office to see a video. Then he didn't even listen to my lungs or do any physical exam, ok, whatever. I'll let it slide because I like him but that is bizarre and I left irritated. Then, I got home and I read in two printouts from his office that my IUD interacts with two of my meds! One is the Topamax, which is being decreased, the other is my Fibromyalgia med., for sleep, oh wow I am so annoyed right now. :mad:

I am thinking of moving so I am meeting with a realtor in town in less than an hour. Then, I see my therapist. Tomorrow I have volunteering and I go to my group. I get a physical exam on Friday, happy happy joy joy, right. :p I am in the mood for sarcasm, pardon me.

Well, I am still a bit depressed. Maybe I will go for a swim tonight.

Take care everyone.


05-29-2013, 08:23 PM
Seabiscuit - Sorry to hear about the doctor's long visit. That's crazy how long you waited! We've all been there unfortunately. Also glad to know that you did your homework and found those med interactions! It's irritating how patients wait around, pay a doctor visit, and get unattentive results. I hope you still went for your swim tonight. You deserve it!

PudgyFlamingo - Sounds like you're having a rough time getting back on track. I can imagine it's tough too with the pins and cast on your hand. I wonder if walking - just plain walking - would help you feel better? Maybe find a playlist or a podcast and simply walk around the block, the track, somewhere, until your playlist is done. If you're feeling lonely, use us at your motivators and accountability partners - come back after your work out and tell us how you felt! Be it good, tired, crabby - doesn't matter. We're here to help you get back on track!

Ohiofreespirit - How's it going? Did you end up ordering your new outfits?

*Workout Update*
Yesterday, I did 10 minutes on the elliptical and 30 minutes of chest and back exercises.

Tonight, I managed (so far) half of a leg and ab work out and 10 mins on the elliptical.

I'm wondering if I should do the rest of my workout, or save some energy for tomorrow. The husband is in class tonight, so I make dinner for now (chicken, broccoli, and rice - maybe turn it into a stir fry?). I'll decide when he comes home whether or not I'll do the rest of the workout. I'm proud of myself for focusing on my form, which leg workouts always seems to require from me. There's no way I can cheat my way through it (by cheat, I mean do a sloppy job at the exercise) because if I do it wrong, I know I'll get hurt - pull a muscle, pinch a nerve or something.

Well, so far so good for Day 2 of my workouts. Check back in with everyone tomorrow!

Aunty Jam
05-30-2013, 04:27 PM
Hey everyone...... I got some kind of bad news yesterday :( I saw my doctor on Monday and everything was really good with the exception of my back which has been hurting more and poping and cracking like crazy for the last 6 months. She asked for x-rays to be done so I went that morning... yesterday I heard back that there was disc narrowing in my lower back. It's a degenerative thing that can be managed but won't actually get better. Surgery is an option if and probably when it gets bad. I have to go back next monday for another exam, more x-rays and to find a physio place. She told me to avoid high impact exercise.... but I'm a runner. She said I can keep doing it for now as long as it doesn't make my back hurt more.

I was pretty bummed out yesterday and thinking about it now is making me feel that way again.. blah. Hubby took me out to dinner last night and I had a lovely melbac with my grilled chicken.

I guess on a positive note I found daylight bulbs (to grow plants) for my aquariums for $2 each at a discount store. These easily cost $10-20 anywhere else... we're going to go back and get more today now that we're sure about the lenghts.

05-30-2013, 06:26 PM
Hi coffeeshopgirl-

Thank you, yes it was very frustrating to wait that long! I like that doctor a lot but it is irritating to wait that long. I didn't go for a swim last night, yesterday I was hitting some tennis balls on my local court and I found a tennis partner. :cool: Tonight though, I am going for a swim with my new prescription goggles!! :D

It sounds like you are eating very healthily and doing a great job at the exercise, way to go! Keep it up!! :carrot:

Hi Aunty Jam-

:hug: I am sorry that you got upsetting news. Do you like this doctor? I'm glad that you can run unless it bothers you. I hope that your body can tolerate it. A lot of people in my family are runners and they love it.

That's great about the nice dinner with your husband, how nice. I used to have fish aquariums, I loved them but they were a lot of maintenance. It sounds like you are doing a great job thinking positively and that is so important. :)

As for me, I think things are going okay but I feel like things are a bit bittersweet. I wanted to move into a 2 BR town home but my family and I found out that they are not affordable which is frustrating. I did contact some realtors and I will continue to look around this area.

I purchased some prescription swim goggles tonight from my eye doctor's office for $49. I am glad that I treated myself to some thing that is a positive motivator for me to improve my health. I can hardly wait to try them out tonight. :cool:

Tomorrow I have a physical with a doctor I have not met yet, but I have been at his practice a few times. I hear he is very knowledgable and nice. Then on Monday, I am taking a 1/2 hour tennis lesson, which I think will be a good workout and fun. I found someone to rally with on the tennis courts which is great! :carrot: I am also looking forward to continuing to lose this weight and getting healthier.

Well, I am about to head to the pool with my prescription goggles, yeah! :carrot:

Have a great night everyone!

Aunty Jam
05-31-2013, 05:50 PM
Perscription goggles... :) Neat. I could use a pair of those but I bet they'd be way more than $49 up here. Too bad those places are so expensive, I hope you find a nice one soon.

And yes, I like my doctor. I have 4 aquariums right now, the biggest being a 55g and the smallest being a 2.5g so it's not bad to look after, just feedings and around 2 hours a week for water changes, sometimes more if I have to clean filters too.

05-31-2013, 08:06 PM
Hi everyone :wave: and I do thank Seabiscuit for keeping this thread so active :)

Seabiscuit, I also would have been very unhappy at being kept waiting for an hour and a half for an appt., then the doctor does something bizarre like take up the precious time with showing you a personal video (albeit innocent of a newborn) but still not right! i'm sorry that you were also disappointed that their scale did not show the happy weight loss your scale at home showed. But keep on preservering! How was the physical today? OH and my husband's birthday is also July 13th! :)

Coffeeshopgirl - wow 30 min. of elliptical and then 30 minutes of strength is great!! Oh and we did not ride at all on Memorial weekend, it was COLD and rainy and Mt. Mansfield (about 15 miles from us and 4000 ft up) got 16 inches of snow!! But I've ridden to work a couple times since then and it was awesome :cool:

pudgyflamingo, your words of how you are lonely and sad really made me feel badly for you :( :hug: Im so sorry that it is hard physically to get through your work day, I work on my feet too and it is really a hard thing to do, isn't it. I'm also very sorry that you said you have isolated yourself (as a coping mechanism?) because that can feel terrible can't it. What did the doctor say about removing the pins soon??

Ohiofreespirit, Hi :wave: and I love the sound of those white jeans! are they a lighter type of fabric, or regular cotton/denim but white? I think I want some now :) Is your daughter home wtih you the whole summer?

Aunty Jam - oh, I am SO sorry to hear of that disc diagnosis!! :mad: :hug: I hope like heck that you can continue running without it hurting. Your dinner out sounded nice, but i am clueless and I had to google "melbac" - it's a wine, right? (VtMom goes duh) and Yay to the cheaper bulbs!

I was gonna whine that today, I received my new motorcycle boots after waiting a week, and one snap broke THE FIRST TRY of getting them off. :mad: My husband insists he can fix it. The company does have a no-problem policy of replacing, but I would have to wait another week. So I am lucky that my biggest problem is just a broken boot snap :devil:

05-31-2013, 10:16 PM
Hi Aunty Jam,

How are you doing? I love my prescription goggles. I purchased them the other day, I tried them out and they are great. :cool: It is frustrating when things are expensive. I know of a few companies that made prescription goggles, mine are made by a company called Leader, and I met another swimmer who has goggles by Barracuda. Good luck with that! That is awesome to have fish, I had goldfish and algae eaters in a 29 gallon long aquarium for a few years and I enjoyed it.

I hope you have a good weekend!

Hey Vermont Mom,

You are so kind to thank me for keeping this thread active, aww that's so sweet. I am very touched!! I love this thread and all of you are very special individuals who I am blessed to communicate with via this thread. ;)

That is way :cool: about your hubby's birthday being July 13 too!! A friend of mine has a July 13 birthday too! A relative of mine is also in July, and quite a few of my friends have birthdays in July. When is your birthday?

Yes, I was irritated and annoyed when I waited so long to see my doctor. This issue of waiting so long has gone on for so long yet I like the doctor a lot so it is a frustrating issue which I guess I am just coming to accept. He is a good doctor but it did bother me that he didn't do any type of physical exam like he normally does, instead showing me a video of his kid. I am still a bit upset about it so perhaps I will kindly say something as politely as I can when I see him in August.

That must be upsetting about your boots. I hope you get that resolved soon. How is your job going? Have an awesome weekend.

I had an interesting day today. I was irritated with some maintenance issues in my apartment so I gave the property manager a mouthful and I got irritated which I later apologized for. I said to myself before I went into his office that I wouldn't get upset but then I did get really irritated once I started speaking to him. I apologized and he said it wasn't a big deal, phew. They are resolving my maintenance issues now, thank goodness.

I also had a physical today with a new doctor at my family practice. The doctor who I saw is so kind, nice and thorough. I am very impressed with him because he really seemed to care about me. We had a good talk and he gave me some good insights.

In a few minutes I will play one of my guitars, I haven't played this one for awhile. They all have names, this one, the first one which I bought is Hope, an Epiphone black Dreadnought, then I have Rapture (not after the religious belief), but the emotion - an Epiphone black Hummingbird, and Bliss, a mahogany reddish color Gretsch Electromatic. I love playing, so I will play now before I go to bed, I have my guitar lesson next week.

Tomorrow I am going to chill with my friend and her dog. I hope everyone has a great weekend!