Well, I've lost 29 pounds... almost 1/3 of my goal, but I still feel as fat as ever. I got within 14 pounds of my goal weight once. I lost over 100 pounds before. When I was so close, I still felt like the same fat chick I always was. So, I gave up. And gained it all back. What's the point if I don't feel any better, right? I quit smoking almost 10 months ago, I've been eating raw, real food, I rarely drink, oh an my biggest vice... no caffiene... for almost a month. THAT is a 1st. So... how do I get out of my dammed head?! I see a therapist. Ive seen many. This one is the best ever. But she can preach self acceptance all day long, I have to believe it. And I don't. I read the OA book. Its not for me. What else is there? My life is perfect. Perfect kids. Awesome job. Loving, supportive partner. But THIS is weighing me down. Figuratively & literally. Thoughts?
I have to say Congratulation to YOU! You are doing amazing things for yourself. All the toxic things you are not doing to your body anymore. That in itself is like taking the magic pill = but losing almost 1/3 of your weight. You are one of those poster people (tho no pedistal as its hard to stay up on those things) who makes us all inspired. Why its hard to sink in.... That I don't know. I too have always been overweight (since I was 5) so I don't know that secret.. but maybe just concentrating on your body everyday and noticing how you feel? Do you feel lighter? Do you feel less stress on your shoulders? Do you feel better breathing? Do clothes fit better? I think that these are some things to note to yourself and maybe it will sink in. Just a thought. But what you have done is Extraordinary!!!
Last edited by wannaskipandlaugh; 03-09-2013 at 08:26 AM.
That may be your mindset at this point in time but you can't be positive it will be forever. How many of us say we'll never gain weight again and believe it at that point in time but the weight comes back.
I lost 200+ pounds and still felt fat but I also felt good about how I looked in the mirror and kept plugging away until one day I realized I was no longer the fat girl. Mind changes come slower than the changes in our body. If you haven't, take pictures often and compare them as you lose weight. What we see in the mirror isn't often what's really there because our mind sees the fat girl. If for no other reason, you should want to keep the weight off because you have those lovely children.
If for no other reason, you should want to keep the weight off because you have those lovely children.
I have all of that stuff too - a son, great job, spouse, etc. I was fooling myself before that life was perfect, because it wasn't. I could have dropped dead at any moment because of my weight. I kept thinking how they would feel if that happened, and it really is what kicked me into gear. I KEEP those thoughts in my head and it helps me along the way.
First I would like to congratulate on your weight loss and diet modifications. Those lifestyle changes are not only hard to accomplish, but, I'm sure your body thanks you for it.
I can relate to all you said. I have joined weight watchers about 5-6 times. I will lose 30-35 lbs, and then people will take notice and I 'll get this feeling like ,"I've accomplished my goals, I don't need to try anymore." I will give up and gain it all back. It's almost like a feeling that I don't deserve to be thin. It's so much easiar for me to use my fat for a shield. I shut people out
or say,"They don't want to have anything to do with me because of my weight." It could be because I don't have a smile on my face, or, maybe because I have a chip on my shoulder because of my weight.
Whatever the case, to some degree, I understand how you feel and my only advice is to try to get used to or prepare yourself for the thin you. Maybe journal and please don't beat yourself up over it because everybody deserves to have their dreams come true. I believe it's a natural right
This is sooo true -- it takes a while for the mind to catch up to the new image the brain sees in the reflection. I agree about taking two pics (one of you before and one now) and putting them somewhere that you will see them every day. Plus, take the time to look at yourself in the mirror at least once every day; that way your mind's eye will see what you look like now, and make that mental adjustment of accepting the new you.
I know how you feel; just yesterday, I was looking at myself in the mirror and thought, "oh dear, I'm still a plump girl/lady". I realized that was the old critical self -- I had to remind myself that I have come so very far and should be proud of myself, and so should you. Maybe we need to practice telling ourselves that every day too!!!
How about some positive mantras like these -- YOU LOOK FAB; YOU HAVE COME SO FAR; YOU DID A GREAT JOB; YOU ARE HEALTHY; YOU GO GIRL; and so forth!
TIME -- will likely help too; time to adjust; time to accept; time to believe; time to see; time to know ...
Thank you. My clothes fit better. That I can agree. I do have a terrible b4 picture & I feel like I look the same, but maybe its time for a progress pic. I am NOT giving up again. If I stay in the 200s forever it will be because I binge on fruit & nuts. Not fast food. Thanks for your support XO
I kind of identify with what you're saying because to me, even though I realize that I'm no longer the fat chick and most people meeting me recently don't realize I've ever had an issue with weight (recently got told "it's easy for you skinny people, you don't know what it's like when you're fat." :O :O :O oh-kay!), many times since getting to goal/onederland/Misses' clothes sizes, I've felt fat.
What helped me was identifying what "feeling fat" meant. Was it that I felt that I "looked fat in general?/in a specific outfit?/on a specific day?" Was it that I "felt the same insecurities I did when I was bigger about being attactive enough or good enough or "whatever" enough?" Those kinds of questions. And for me what I found out after much soul searching, was that I'd attributed a lot of other issues or things I was dissatisfied with, to my weight. I'd played a lot of "if I was skinny, x would happen" or "if I was skinny, I would be a happier person" or "if I was thin, I would feel like this or be like that." And of course, when I lost weight and realized I was the same exact person with the same exact issues and insecurities just in smaller clothes, I "felt fat" because it felt no different (on the inside) being skinny.
I think it's great you're seeing a therapist and getting support because for me at least, it was not an easy place to get to after a life of blaming my weight for certain things, to realize that actually that was just my personality or the way I chose to live. For me, it took making a conscious decision to be happy and to be satisfied and find joy in the things I could at my current state, and to make the effort to work on the things I couldn't make peace with. I'm a big believer in speaking positive things into my life and having positive mantras when I'm struggling. It takes time and faith but for me, if I say it enough times and live like I believe it, it takes.
i will always feel like the fat chick
In response to I will always be the fat chick
