Depression and Weight Issues - I want to scream and cry when I look in the mirror.




Tripletmplus2
03-05-2013, 10:47 PM
It makes no sense why I do this to myself. I eat and eat, to feel better, so I think,but i do REALLY feel better while I'm eating. But , I'm mostly depressed about my wieght.....so what the heck! Yes, I'm stressed and no I have No time to myself. I have 5 kids, 3 are 18 month old triplets, we moved 8 months ago10 states away from all we knew , so I have no family or friends, and my husband works 16 hours a day 6 days a week. So he almost doesn't exist to the family? , I want more than anything to get healthy. I should loose 60 pounds, at min, I'm about 85 over where " I should be". I have tried all I can, healthy snacks, eat every 2 to 3 hours and so on. But I' have junk in my house, and I WILL eat it, I never ever feel full. Why do I have snack junk food, cause I have a 10 and 16 year old as well who can eat those goodies the proper way. Plus, it doesn't matter what it is, I will over eat it! Does anyone else go through this? My weight:( is on my mind almost all day, :(and it's really starting to make me just not happy to anyone or with anyone. :( I'm on Wellbutrin, hoped it would help the overeating habit and lose so pounds maybe even up my mood, but...nothing!! Just hoping I'm not the only one who does this, and hoping someone who did, can share their wisdom.


Misti in Seattle
03-05-2013, 10:52 PM
:wel3fc:

Tripletmplus2
03-07-2013, 02:16 PM
thank you!!!!


VermontMom
03-07-2013, 04:31 PM
Hey Tripletmplus2, :welcome: and i just about :faint: at the thought of TRIPLETS I was nuts with just one child at time! and moving so far away, that must be hard. I am also on Wellbutrin (prob. about 4 years now) and it does help me alot but I do get down times (like today actually) but I congratulate you on trying to find support!

You CAN do it, but I know it is hard! I understand that you feel you want to keep the snacks for the kids who don't have a problem with them. Is there some healthy snack you do like that you could turn to? I know a cup of yogurt does not feel the same in the tummy as a snack pack of crackers though. Someone here had the wisdom to say "you have to make peace with the empty feeling in your tummy' and I have to remember that all the flippin time. I Like the feeling of a full tummy but am trying to now associate the 'empty' feeling with being lighter .

There are lots of diet plans here to think about, probably the most low-cost would be calorie counting, as you don't have to join any group or go to meetings.

I'm sure alot of your struggle is due to the taking care of the children and you probably don't have much time to yourself. I hope that somehow you can make the time for a daily walk? even 30 minutes can help with your head :dizzy: or indoor exercise, I have dvd's and I just found fitnessblender.com free full length workouts .

the shiv
03-07-2013, 04:44 PM
Hi, welcome! *hugs* and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way :(

I'm very prone to depression and really need to watch myself. It's been a slow start to losing weight, but I started with one TINY change at a time. Can you think of any little tweaks you could make, so you don't have to overhaul your entire lifestyle at once? I started with cutting sugar out of my tea. That took a month to get used to. Then I cut sugar out of my coffee. That took about the same time. Then a short walk every day. Then a slightly longer one. One thing at a time, it all adds up.

I read something somewhere once that stuck in my mind... If you create the right conditions for gradual change in the desired direction, and you experiment with different ways of doing the same thing, your success is INEVITABLE. It is simply a matter of time. That is so true it's stupid.

If you're clinging onto the same lifestyle, part of you isn't ready to change. And that's ok. You can talk yourself round to the idea by changing a little bit at a time. That way, you're expanding your comfort zone slowly instead of blowing it to pieces, but it works just the same.

alaskanlaughter
03-07-2013, 05:08 PM
welcome!! :)

are you able to get enough sleep with the little ones? i know, for me, being sleep deprived is the surest way to cave into everything in my pantry

i also struggle with overeating and i'm trying to still learn how to not do that

with the snacks for the older kids, i also have kids that i buy school snacks etc for and i do two things..1) i always make sure there's healthy snacks for them like peanuts and fruits and 2) if i'm buying packaged snacks, to buy the ones that i HATE so i wont be tempted by them....i'm very picky but luckily my kids will eat just about anything :)

heynikkiii
03-11-2013, 06:53 AM
Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with depression. I know exactly what it's like. I suffer from chronic depression and bi polar disorder, so I know it's never fun to feel so out of whack you don't even know what to do with yourself. The only thing I can suggest if at all possible is to get out of the house! If you can take just one hour to yourself, ONE hour of the week from your busy schedule and maybe join a sport where the ladies meet once a week to play a sports game, or maybe try Pilates or a dance class or KICKBOXING! Just one hour a week to yourself, not only would you be getting a good workout but you'd be releasing stress hormones AND making friends! Also, if there is a park around your neighborhood... Don't hesitate to take your kids a couple times a week. Just getting out of the house will help you focus on other things while also not feeling so cooped up and depressed and may even help with over eating because you won't feel so down. I hope this helps. And I wish you all the luck in the world.

Tripletmplus2
04-01-2013, 09:08 AM
Thank you ladies for your support and encouragement!!!

firegirl441
04-01-2013, 01:28 PM
I adopted twins and their younger brother and my birth son were all the same age within 15 months. It was like having quads so I do feel for you. I was blessed that they were 6 when I got them so I didn't have to do the diaper up all night thing like you are going through. You will be fine just keep in mind that they will grow up and it is just a phase of your life. I had to do that as I brought in 3 personalities with sad and horrid pasts and we had to learn how to cope and build our family all over again. I coped by taking them to the park to play and I would just sit and catch my breath for a few minutes every couple of days. Try and find at thrift stores or consignment stores a 3 baby stroller. Then you can get them out for some fresh air and you can get some exercise. There is a thread in the depression section that talks about setting one goal a week to work on so that eventually you meet your goals but you will not become overwhelmed trying to change your life all at one time. try and find it. You may get the information there to succeed with your goals. I with you the best of wishes,

shcirerf
04-01-2013, 11:05 PM
:hug:

This isn't so much about food/diet/mood as it is about getting out in your new community. You can do it. Even small communities like the one I live in have all kinds of resources to help folks out.

Take a little time, I know you don't have much, but take a bit and explore your new community. Lots of churches have groups for moms. Check online and see if there is a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers group). Look for parents of multiples groups. I don't know what state you are in but many states have what are known as land grant universities. The university of Nebraska is one. These colleges also have what are known as "Extension Services" that have local offices or at the very least, online help with all kinds of things. They usually have all the info on anything local that could be helpful for you.

Many local radio stations and newspapers have websites that include a community calendar, a great place to look for groups that might be helpful. Does a local library have a story hour you could go to? Drop off the little ones and get a few minutes to yourself.

If there is not a MOPS group, maybe you should look into starting one. They help each other out, take turns watching each others kids so you can get out, and just sometimes hang out for support.

I had twins, my DH worked out of town, and I understand, the whole overwhelmed feeling, but it won't get better while you sit in the house and eat. You are going to have to look for new friends and groups and put yourself out there.

You might be surprised at the great people you will meet!:D

Jez
04-01-2013, 11:24 PM
Welcome!
Lord, triplets. I don't even like the idea of ONE kid, I can't imagine a triple threat!
With regards to the junk food, even though you have teenagers who can moderate themselves, it's still not healthy food for them. Why not just keep it out of the house? If they want it, they can get their own. It'd also be a good time to start healthier behaviors for EVERYbody, lest they grow up and end up in the same situation. It's so much easier to nip it in the bud when young. Yes, you may overeat on everything but there are definitely better options than junk. And this is obviously stressing you out mentally, why have that temptation there?

CQ680
04-01-2013, 11:41 PM
A few things I have heard that are helping me. #1. you can't control other people or all situations, but you CAN control your reaction to them. (from my Buddhist studies) #2. Any diet will "work" if you follow it. The diet doesn't do the work, you do. (my sister) #3. No matter how far or how slowly you walk or run, you are still lapping everyone who is laying in front of the tv.(pinterest) #4. walk (my psychiatrist) #5. walk (my psychiatrist) #6 walk (my psychiatrist) HAHA!! anyway, i would cut down on the junk food in the house, the kids don't need it. And a few minutes, just a few, of putting yourself first will make you a better mom. Let the 16 yr old and 10 yr old watch the triplets for 1/2 hour per day. start with 15 minute walk away from the house and 15 minutes back. your head will clear, the fresh air and exercise is good for depression, and it's a great start to getting on track. when in the house, keep you hands busy and away from the fridge. knit, crochet...start making presents for your out-of town family and friends. Also, it sounds like you are lonely. a 16 hour workday is not good for your husband or your family. I don't know what our situation is, but could he work less and you grab something part time? sometimes having a job you're good at makes up for the chaos at home! baby steps. sometimes I look at myself and think it's hopeless. like, what good will losing only 4 pounds before a party, 10 pounds before vacation, etc. do? I still won't look good on the beach. Well...sometimes you have to settle for just looking a little less fat, then less and less and less. good luck to you!

MistressMikuru
04-07-2013, 11:21 PM
I'm a mom of 11 month identical twins who just moved from Indiana to Oklahoma. I know how you feel with feeling overwhelmed and lack of sleep doesn't help either. We moved to get away from the source of my anxiety that was not only making my depression worse but I would overeat ALL THE TIME. I had to really educate myself on portion sizes, and motivate myself to be active more. (Which is hard when you're depressed because all you want to do is sleep all day! I'd marry my bed if I could. lol :) ) Breathing exercises really help too. When I'm about to eat something I know I shouldn't or more of something that I shouldn't, I close my eyes and breath in for four counts and exhale for four counts and I focus on where the air is hitting in my lungs. Like is it in my chest, the back of my lungs, or more towards my abdomen? I focus on that sensation. When I feel calmer, I open my eyes and think, do I really need that? Hope this helps! I'd love to chat if you'd like.

alligator18195
04-12-2013, 06:43 PM
With all of that going on in your life, I think you are the one who should be giving us advice! I get stressed enough from college, work, boyfriend, not enough friends... so many things. I couldn't imagine having five kids and living in a new town too. Support is so huge. My recommendation that has completely changed my life is just making exercise a necessity. I'm on Wellbutrin too and it didn't do anything for me weight wise, but I've noticed that the effects of even 20 minutes of walking or going on the elliptical are much better than normal. I get so happy after I work out! There are lots of free videos online and it's really easy to work out at home. Doesn't have to be hard, just enough! Your appetite will go down too. I nannied for a family last summer and they had twins and I just took the stroller on walks to the park every day, ended up losing 5 pounds. The thing I've learned about binge eating is that once you need to binge, it's too late. Just do the binge, but start making small changes in your life to prevent further binges. Eat healthy meals, even after a binge, still eat a healthy dinner or lunch or whatever, and work on having a regular, protein and nutrient rich eating schedule. Also, DO NOT keep bad food in the house! You have complete power over that. Just don't buy it. Buy things that you think you should be eating. Binge eating is a hard thing to get over, but it can be done. I would recommend going to a nutritionist too, that's where I got all my information and credit with my tackling my addiction. Good luck!

Tripletmplus2
04-16-2013, 10:05 AM
Thank you ladies , your all wonderful! I have decided that instead of cleaning while my triplets take a nap I'm going to work out on the elliptical I found on craigslist( greatbuy) and lay out after or swim in the pool. Whatever I feel like doing, not cleaning, wash, bills, or dishes. A healthy me means a happy me, a clean house, I thought made me happier, but it doesn't!!!! I'll do what I can when they go to bed, it may not be spotless as before but I don't care! I'm down 8 pounds and haven't binged on crap in over a week! I feel so much better. I also stopped taking wellbutin , and feel way better from that too!!!! I honestly have had to except, not many have what I do on my plate, I am a single parent of triplets plus 2. My husband comes home and plops on the couch when he's here, and after everything else I have been through in life, this is just another speed bump!!!!!! And if you think I'm being over the top saying I'm a single mother" my triplets are 21 months old, not once ever has my husband given any of them a bath, ever! Doesn't know where there clothes are or what they even eat, oh, yeah, so, it's all me, and I realized that's fine, I can I will and I am!!!! Thanks ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!