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Old 08-22-2012, 08:52 PM   #1  
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Default I need your honest opinion, the good and the bad

I am currently working 2 jobs, one full time on 1st shift, one part time on 2nds and weekends. I'm just barely coming close to getting by. Meaning, I'm not actually getting by financially, but it's better than it was.

I have been at the full time job for over a year, working in 3 different areas (building/making different products) during that year. I am not great at it. I can do it, but I struggle. I just don't like it either. I've cut, scratched, banged, bruised and even broke my hand at this job (my own fault however, I dropped a part on it). My hips, hands and back feel almost arthritic every day. However, it provides me with insurance and steady pay.

I have only been at the part time job about a week. I work 17-20 hours a week, starting at 4pm and going until 9 or 11. It's minimum wage, no benefits. I do like it for the most part. I seem to have the disposition for it.

I also have a 7 year old and 4 year old that I have every night and during the day every other week. My ex watches them while I work the part time job, and I watch them during his job.

I hate where I am financially. I can't afford to quit the part time job, but I have literally NO time for the kids, house, errands etc.

My family members have been pulling me aside, telling me I shouldn't be working 2 jobs like this. They've suggested going back to school and getting a better job down the line. That sounds WONDERFUL. I would absolutely LOVE to go back to school and be a labor & delivery nurse or midwife. The big, fat but of the issue is that I would have to go on government assistance AND I would have to quit my full time job. I will not be able to keep working the 40+ hours a week, tend to kids and go to school.

I feel like a real loser. I don't want to quit my full time job and become dependent on assistance, but that's the only way I will be able to go to school.

What's your take on this?
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Old 08-22-2012, 09:03 PM   #2  
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I would rather see you be able to better your life and have more time with your kids over struggling at dead end jobs. Once you have a career you will be off public assistance and there's nothing wrong with that. It's people that abuse the system and have no plans to get off of it that make me angry but that's clearly not your intentions. Good luck on whatever you decide.
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Old 08-22-2012, 09:10 PM   #3  
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I say take the assistance and go back to school and have a good future.
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Old 08-22-2012, 09:13 PM   #4  
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Default re:

Your family members pulling you aside...would they be willing to help in any way to help you change your situation?

I think that public assistance is there for a reason, and this might be one of those times. I think if you can survive on it and go to school to better yourself, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm pretty conservative in this area, but feel that is exactly what it's there for - a temporary means to get to survive and if possible, get to a better place in life.

I would offer the following alternative ideas, however. Are there any big companies in your area that have any kind of entry level jobs - call centers, etc. Usually large corporations will offer both insurance and even tuition reimbursement after working for them for a period of time. Sometimes you can even find "home agent" jobs for those companies where you answer the phone from your own home. I would explore things like that before making the decision to go on public assistance.

When I was very young, my family was on welfare for a period of time, and let me tell you, it is not a pleasant thing, and can feel very degrading. It was a means to an end though and got us through very hard times. I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're considering if it's to give yourself a future.

Last edited by Vex; 08-22-2012 at 09:14 PM.
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Old 08-22-2012, 10:21 PM   #5  
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IMO, I think you should go back to school so you will have a better future.
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Old 08-22-2012, 10:45 PM   #6  
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I'm going to side with Vex here- I think you need to do whats best for you and your future.

There is a good reason for assistance programs- and I am all for people like you using them. You are using ASSISTANCE to become a better person, to be more successful, to be a better citizen, and to help your family.

are there lazy people who "take advantage"? of course-- but you don't seem to be one of those people. Why work at a job you hate while barely scraping by?

If you can find a company (I believe Comcast is one example) that will do tuition reimbursement, that would be the first thing I would try, then maybe go to family for help- if they are so concerned, they must be willing to lend a hand?

Good luck- I hope your situation gets better! remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help!
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Old 08-23-2012, 01:39 AM   #7  
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You could go to school and not end up any better. Plenty of highly educated unemployed and under employed people out there...

You need to find what you're good at/suited for and figure out how to do that. There is a lot of opportunity out there. I'm not talking about becoming a millionaire I'm just taking about being able to provide for your family.

What is this second job you feel you're better suited for and why do you feel that way?
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:15 AM   #8  
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Furthering education hasn't been working out as well as promised for many folks in this economy, even in medical and service fields. Personally if I couldn't swing going to school without incurring debt or going on assistance I wouldn't do it, because it's incongruent with my personal values if I am able bodied to do something else. But there's no denying two jobs is not an ideal situation, either.

I'd be searching for something else to do that would pay more or offered more room for growth/better hours/benefits/etc and didn't require more education. If that didn't pan out, I'd have to prayerfully consider what other options were available to me. But choosing to stop working and go on assistance is no responsible plan for my future, as far as I am concerned, and wouldn't be an option.

I am answering honestly, as your post indicated. And I cannot put myself in anyone else's shoes, obviously my own convictions and life choices factor in to how I would decide. So take this opinion for what little it is worth

I do second trying a solution involving family's help or a friend. I know I'd freely offer babysitting for an inlaw or friend who found themselves having to work hours without childcare, especially if it was just for a particularly rough season in their lives. Unless I was literally physically unable to work or became homeless despite working every dime job I could find, I could not justify taking any public assistance. This includes things like WIC and heating assistance, which I could easily qualify for. It's just not in me. Not everyone feels the same way, obviously!
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Old 08-23-2012, 04:36 PM   #9  
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You should absolutely without a doubt go back to school. You owe it to your kids and yourself to have a meaningful career helping others and to not live in a dead-end situation. FWIW, you will most likely end up paying back any assistance you use many times over once you're in a higher tax bracket.
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Old 08-23-2012, 05:46 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midwife View Post
You should absolutely without a doubt go back to school. You owe it to your kids and yourself to have a meaningful career helping others and to not live in a dead-end situation. FWIW, you will most likely end up paying back any assistance you use many times over once you're in a higher tax bracket.
I agree whole-heartedly with this. It's there for a reason, and your reason is just as good as any. My own mother was in similar straits and put herself through school. She was able to set an example for her children (I had no excuse to not go to college), better herself, pay back her loans and put herself in a higher tax bracket, which in turn paid back society.

DH has an advanced degree and I have a BS, both of which we will be paying off for a while. When DH was laid off (2 years ago today, actually) and was unemployed for 10 months, you bet we were cursing our degrees. They sure weren't putting food on the table.

Let me tell you, it got harder before it got better, but during that period DH worked on his licenses and certifications and began applying for jobs that required those degrees and licenses. I'm happy to report that 2 years later, he has DOUBLED his salary from what it was prior to being laid off. I'm back to believing in the power of education- and not just for earning potential (although DH's earning potential is significantly higher than mine), but the benefit it will have to your kids' lives, to see what's possible in this world. Our worlds have blown wide open and we are planning some pretty fantastic endeavors that just would not be possible in dead-end jobs.

I echo a previous poster that perhaps you can enlist these relatives that are encouraging you to drop your part time gig to help in some way.

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Old 08-23-2012, 07:53 PM   #11  
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Going back to school doesn't mean success.

Not going back to school doesn't mean you have to stay in a dead end job.

Before investing any time and money with school you need to first set a goal. It might be that your goal requires school but it might not.
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Old 08-23-2012, 08:23 PM   #12  
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She did mention wanting to be an l&d nurse or midwife. That sounds like a great goal to me.
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Old 08-23-2012, 09:21 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junebug41 View Post
She did mention wanting to be an l&d nurse or midwife. That sounds like a great goal to me.
And one that requires going back to school.

Pint, feel free to PM me with any school/career questions you might have. I'm somewhat of an expert in L&D nursing and midwifery.

Last edited by midwife; 08-23-2012 at 09:23 PM.
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Old 08-23-2012, 09:28 PM   #14  
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This isn't an opinion on what you should do, just an additional thought. If you want to enter the health care field in a shorter time than becoming a L&D nurse you might want to consider medical assisting. The programs are only nine months and you could work in ob/gyn. Some employers will pay for your continuing education if you wanted to go on to nursing.
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Old 08-23-2012, 10:56 PM   #15  
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Tai, that's a great point!
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