Devastating news; trying not to fill the hole with food
I've never been an emotional eater, but I found out today that my father has Stage IV rectal cancer. The doctor has given him two to four years. I know that he is a fighter: he survived cancer forty years ago as a young man. I know that he believes that he can beat it again. And I do, too. But all the same I am devastated. And I have never felt such an overwhelming need to lie unmoving on the couch, staring through the TV while eating myself into oblivion.
Thanks for letting me get that out there. It's been eating me up inside. As I say, I am trying to be positive, to believe my father can beat the odds. But a part of me keeps imagining him gone, and.... If I lost my father, it would change my life forever. It is the thing I have lived most in fear of for most of my life. And to be facing the possibility now.... Eating right seems so trivial. Going to the gym seems so trivial. I just want to eat and eat and eat until I don't feel anything anymore but heartburn. That would be better than feeling my heart breaking like it is now.
I'm very sorry. Eating however will only make you feel worse. It may seem like it will help, but once the bag of chips is empty and all the cookies are gone, you'll only be feeling even more dread. Your father beat it before, and with new advancements there is a chance he will survive it again.
I'm so sorry to hear about the bad news Petite. I hope you find a way to cope with this that does not involve food, but if it does.. that's fine too. Even people that don't have issues with weight enjoy comfortfood. It's not a big sin. What would be a sin is if you stuck with it for months. But allowing yourself a little offtime is perfectly healthy. Just make sure you know beforehand how long your offtime is gonna be and stick to that.
The best of luck to you and yours. I hope it works out the way you all wish.
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this right now. You are all in my thoughts.
You are obviously very close to your father. Are you close to the rest of your family, as well? Maybe you can come together for love and support so that you don't feel like you have to cope with your emotions alone.
Like Philana said, don't beat yourself up if you eat more than you normally would or if you let the exercise slide for a while. You might find, however, that some exercise (perhaps a favorite sport) will give you an outlet for your stress and emotions when you can't or don't want to speak about them. Whatever you do, know that you're not doing anything wrong and that people love and support you (even people that you don't really know, here on 3fc).
Petite, I am so sorry. You are definitely in my prayers and thoughts. I agree with the above about not beating yourself up with comfort food and I think it would be a good idea to surround yourself with others in the family that are going through this with you. It helps to be around the people you love, especially if they understand how you feel. On a second note about the food, let this be even MORE motivation to eat healthy and live a healthy life. It is so precious and our health is number one. Eating healthy will only improve your quality of life and give you a less chance of having health problems. You don't need food for comfort, that's what God gave us family for
Last edited by Dianne042425; 02-17-2012 at 06:53 AM.
My mom went through a stage IV liver duct cancer 2 years ago, so I know a bit how you can be devastated when you hear some news like that.
Don't put too much stress on you for the food... You probably have plenty of others things on your mind right now. Just try to not be too hard on yourself.
Petite, my best wishes and thoughts go out to you and your dad. I am extremely close with my father and worry constantly about him getting sick etc. Your father sounds like a true fighter and I sincerely wish all the best to him in battling cancer.
Petite, I'm so sorry. My father had cancer as well, and the day I found out I didn't want to do anything either. The one thing to keep in mind is that your father wants you to be healthy and to live a long life, and exercise is an excellent stress reducer. It's hard not to feel helpless during the situation, but keeping yourself in top shape will help to keep you going.
Is he receiving treatment? I used to go and sit with my father while he was receiving his chemotherapy. This helped me because I felt like I was doing something. If your father isn't, just spend as much time with him as you can. My father and I love sports so we'd sit around and watch whatever was on- we may not have been having in depth conversations but just being there made me feel that much better.
Another thing to keep in mind is to give yourself a break as well. If you skip a couple of workouts during this time, it's okay. As long as you're keeping yourself in good shape (more for your mental health than anything else) a few workouts or a few days of overeating won't hurt you. I wish there was something more to say to make things better. I realize over a message board none of us really knows one another, but so many people are wishing for your happiness
Hang in there. Being strong--in all ways--will make you feel better. Caving in to the pressures of food will not, in the long term. But either way, don't beat yourself up.
Devastating news; trying not to fill the hole with food
