Well i "fell off the wagon" the weight loss wagon I was doing so well i had dropped 5 lbs and then i dont know what happened. Wait yes I do for some reason i have it in my head that it is all or nothing. If i mess up on eating i feel like it has messed up everything and i should just give up, I know that is not how it is. But i really just dont know how to change the way i think about that because if i keep thinking like this then i will never get down to my goal weight. Does anyone else have/had this problem? If so what are you doing to over come it?
I think it's hard in the beginning. It's a lot of trial and error, but the thing about this is that it's not failing as long as you keep trying. Giving up on yourself is failing. It's hard, but we have to not focus so much on the eating part but why were doing this to begin with. Sure we want to be thinner, but this is for our health and happiness. We have to learn to love ourselves and treat ourselves right. We'll make mistakes, we're only human, but we've got to pick ourselves right back up and constantly remind ourselves that we are worth the effort. When we are about to "fall off the wagon" we have to ask ourselves is it worth it? And then tell ourselves we deserve so much better. And when we do fall remind ourselves, life happens. Don't beat yourself up over it, learn from it.
Falling off the wagon is just like falling of a bike when the training wheels get taken off. It's the only way we're going to learn what works for us. But you can't give up.
I also have a all or nothing mentality.
When I fall off the wagon (and I do, very often) I always know I fell off the wagon just for that meal. I have to get mean to myself..."I fell off the wagon at lunch, no excuse for me to eat whatever for dinner." If anything it makes me want to be more strict to make up for the mess-up.
You will learn many things about yourself when you fall off the wagon...what was your trigger? were you starving?- because you skippped a meal? did someone offer you something? was there a party?-you could eat before the party. are you being too tough to yourself and you just gotta have something sweet/salty/fatty - you could allways allow yourself some calories to savor a little of your cheat.
I hear ya. It has taken me most of my adult life to get to a point where I can handle slip-ups with a shrug and move on. Basically, I matured and finally accepted me for me (i.e., with weaknesses and all).
I don't know if this advice will help you because I read plenty of advice for years, and I never internalized it, but here goes: When you are ready to throw in the towel, picture yourself after the binge or a day later or a week later. Think of how you'll feel. Then, picture yourself forgoing that binge and picture yourself the next day, a week later, a month later---having stayed on plan.
Also, one reason many people throw in the towel is because they haven't really accepted their plan as a lifestyle change. They may say they have, but in reality, they usually are thinking, "I can't wait until I get to my goal weight so that I can eat what I want" (I know that this is the way I used to think---even though it makes little logical sense). When you accept that what you are doing now is what you will be doing the rest of your life (with perhaps a little more food added in for maintenance), then when you slip up, you just have to put that one slip up in perspective. Ask yourself, "Will this one incident really matter in the scheme of the entire month or six months or one year or a lifetime? The answer is no. If you are doing a plan that you cannot bear to maintain the rest of your life, you're on the wrong plan.
One thing I try to remember when I make choices that don't fit in with my healthy lifestyle is this quote:
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
~ Confucius
So you made a poor choice, why compound it with multiple bad choices? One poor choice will not make it or break it, but repeating them over and over again will. It gets easier over time, just keep on going!
I have had that problem in the past, and it usually ends up sabotaging that weight loss attempt. I've really been working hard to not be so hard on myself this time.
Some other stuff that's helped me personally:
1. Eating snacks that have decent protein - light string cheese (maybe with a fruit or veg as well if I want a bigger snack), hard boiled egg, wasa crisp n thin with a little laughing cow cheese and 2 oz of sliced deli meat, greek yogurt, low-fat cottage cheese with some kind of fruit/veg (celery, carrots, pineapple or peaches), etc. When I eat protein, it seems to stave my urges to graze. If I reach for a serving of pretzels instead or something, 30 mins later I'm usually thinking about how I want more pretzels (or some other snacky food).
2. Not trying to cut corners with points/calories. If I don't plan out my day well and end up going way lower on calories/ww points than I should have, you'd think it would be like oh bonus, even less calorie intake for the day. No, the next day I am usually a LOT hungrier. I end up hungry a little while after I eat, no matter how often I eat or what I'm eating. It makes for an absolutely miserable day where I'm either distracted by hunger or feeling bad that I'm eating more than I planned.
3. As already mentioned, figure out what causes you to lose control so you can help plan/prepare for those challenges a little better. Maybe you were making so many dramatic choices at once that you felt deprived, maybe you are still keeping lots of things in your environment that maybe you can't have around for now. Personally my husband is not on a diet so there are some things that he wants around that I wouldn't want to eat - for a while I bought him stuff that I knew he would like but that I wouldn't reach for no matter how bad of a day I was having. Like yogurt covered raisins or low-fat mint chocolate chip ice cream. I don't like mint flavored stuff (and hubby LOVES it) and don't have a sweet tooth in general so having those in the home makes him happy but I don't have a problem not touching them. Etc etc!
Everyone has different struggles, it really helps to identify yours and take control. Those feelings of frustration come from feeling like you've lost control. There is a fantastic lady in my WW meetings that has lost over 80 lbs now. She loves ice cream, and decided she did not want to give it up entirely. So three times a week she plans out her points for the day so she has enough left for her ice cream after dinner. And she is completely happy with that because she is in control, she is eating it because she planned for it, not because she deprived herself til she fell off the wagon then beat herself up over it.
This process just involves some trial and error, write this up to a learning experience, and figure out what you have learned about yourself from it and move on.
I used to be right there where you are, Icey. I would screw up dinner on Friday night, so I would think, "Well, to **** with the weekend! I'll start again on Monday!"
This time around, I'm trying to be more forgiving of myself. I had to recognize that I am human, that I'm going to mess up. Cravings are not something that just goes away. The fact that I very rarely worked out before now has to be taken into consideration. In short, I have to recognize that this process is for the rest of my life and that it's a big change from where I was last year (or even early this year!). When I think of it in those terms, think of it as something that will need to be maintained and improved for my entire life, I realize that little mistakes will be made but that they shouldn't completely derail my goals. (And this is from someone who, like you, is very all or nothing about most things.)
There are days when I'm going to go over on my calories. Those days just happen. Sometimes they can't be avoided. Some days I'm too exhausted to go to the gym. One day here and there will not hurt my goals in the grand scheme of things. But giving up will. If I mess up lunch on Tuesday, now I tell myself, "Well, do better for dinner tonight!" If I'm too exhausted to go to the gym the day after I pull an all-nighter studying, I make sure I go the next day.
If you don't stick to it and accept that little mistakes are going to happen, then you won't reach your goal. Like another poster said, we don't fail by making a mistake. We fail when we stop trying.
Well i "fell off the wagon" the weight loss wagon I was doing so well i had dropped 5 lbs and then i dont know what happened. Wait yes I do for some reason i have it in my head that it is all or nothing. If i mess up on eating i feel like it has messed up everything and i should just give up, I know that is not how it is. But i really just dont know how to change the way i think about that because if i keep thinking like this then i will never get down to my goal weight. Does anyone else have/had this problem? If so what are you doing to over come it?
Hi Icey –
I know exactly what you mean. I would start a diet (low-carb-, atkins, fat smash, 3 day diet, medifast, nutrisystem) and do really well for like a day or two and when I saw a loss on the scale, I felt like it was okay if I ate something that wasn’t allowed and then I would feel so guilty about that and give up. Then I would eat crap for the rest of the day or the weekend or if it was midweek I would say “whatever, I’ll start next Monday”, and binge for days straight because I would start on Monday clean, but of course that would only last 2-3 days, it was a cycle. That kind of thinking ruined my life, seriously. I was 160 and wanting to lose weight but I did this for 4 years and here I was, over 200 pounds. It’s really sad.
Reading the success stories and tips from everyone on the board really helps with motivation, but the determination needs to come from you. Someone recommended The Beck Diet Solution on this forum so I bought the audiobook and would listen to it on my commute to work. Sometimes I still listen to it if I feel like I need some motivation. I never followed it to a T, but did learn a lot from it. For example, just because you had a 1,000 calorie breakfast don’t throw your whole diet off and have 5,000 more calories the rest of the day. It’s okay, you had a small slip, but you’ll have a healthy lunch and dinner, less than 1,500 calories. It’s not all or nothing and this cannot wait! You know you don’t want to hold on to fat for one more day so why put it off?
I know exactly how you feel. Just a couple of weeks ago I wrote almost the same thing, you can look it up, the replies were really honest, helpful and encouraging. You deserve to be happy and healthy.
Thanks guys that helps a lot to know i am not the only one that does that! See i love working out and i would workout all day everyday if i could but that just cant happen cause of my 13 month old! That is my big thing i will eat good for a few days workout then one day i give him cheese puffs or something that i would want and it is hard for me not to eat them right along with him! I also sit at home all day and i get bored so i eat (I know that i should not) I have done a little better with that i will ask myself do i really need food or am i just eating to eat. I always seem to think that if i write out how i want my days to go or try to get up early that never happens. For example: 3 days ago i was going to get up before my son and get my workout and shower in, but he had other plans those plans being he was going to stay up for 3 days to where i am so worn out i dont want to move. i am just going to have to make myself learn that one mess up is not going to hurt me that bad i just need to stick to it, like you guys said! Thanks again
Sad
I was doing so well i had dropped 5 lbs and then i dont know what happened. Wait yes I do for some reason i have it in my head that it is all or nothing. If i mess up on eating i feel like it has messed up everything and i should just give up, I know that is not how it is. But i really just dont know how to change the way i think about that because if i keep thinking like this then i will never get down to my goal weight. Does anyone else have/had this problem? If so what are you doing to over come it?
