To all those who had to endure reading my rant last night,
I am sorry that i took my anger and frustration out in a post. My feelings were hurt in the daily thread by a few people, who i found to be less than supportive and more so then that, it triggered painful reminders of memories i had been through in the past with my family, bringing up un-wanted emotions.
To those of you who say i need help or need to go to a counsellor. I agree. I'm the kind of person who doesnt know how to "feel" properly. I spent my whole life running away from my feelings by eating them away and now all of the sudden i find myself in a place where emotions are triggered left right and centre, because for me, losing weight is an emotional thing. It brings up everything because my entire life is tied to my weight problem.
To the people who told me to "find a new plan cause it isnt the right one" ..Your wrong. Its the right one. I know it is. I cant tell you how i know it is..but i can tell you that it is the right plan. I have never been so sure in my life. You may disagree with me, and if that is the case, then please...keep that opinion to yourself because im not going to quit and find a new plan. Im not going to be ousted from another diet program. I intend to stick with this one and i intend to succeed and if that means having a cheat day here and there..okay then. Truth be told. I have cheated only 2 times on this program since starting it..i dont believe that 2 times is "a lot" Yes, i have cheated on other programs before and i have already recognized that they were not the programs for me..But this is a program for me and it is working and it will continue to work. I am going to be a success story on this diet. This diet will become my lifestyle and one day you are going to see a picture of me up there next to my name and i am going to be smiling, happy and healthy.
To any of you who think you may want to quit: Dont. Dont quit. The reason being: Just because you fail or cheat one day or two days or even 5 days, doesnt mean its the wrong plan for you..it just means you have to find out why your cheating and work on making it better. Dont let anyone tell you to find another plan just because you cheat. Just because you cheat, doesnt mean its not a good diet for you or a good fit. Dont succumb to failure by giving up or just quitting.. You can wake up the next day and start again. Yes, it may not be good for our bodies to do so..but we are human and so we are in need of many more chances..so take another chance and start again.
Im sorry for those i have made mad or have caused offense to, from my emotional outpouring of anger. Please forgive me.
As for posting again on here: Im not certain that i will ever make myself known through a post again, because it appears that im not welcome and its obviously apparent, that i come across as being negative a lot of the time, when i am truly not a negative person and my posts have been mis-read for there content.
Good luck to all
07-19-2011, 04:35 PM
Thanks Porthardy Gurl....this is your first step to "recovery". To steal a phrase "you can't change what you don't acknowledge". Get the help you need and we're always here.
07-19-2011, 04:52 PM
I was actually really hurt by your statements last night, as I believe that I was included in the number you were ranting about. None of us that posted to you yesterday were in any way rude or demeaning, and we had your best interests at heart. We were all just trying to be supportive since it seems (from what you post) that this diet puts you in a very negative place. To have that support thrown back at us in such a rude way... was not pleasant. As almost every post last night in response to your rant pointed out (better than I can now), what you write makes the rest of us think that you are on the wrong diet and worry about you. Please think about what everyone wrote as you move forward. Thanks for your apology.
Good luck with whatever way you find works for you. I sincerely hope you get to your goal.
07-19-2011, 04:59 PM
Wow!! I guess i missed something?
Port-im sorry if you felt hurt..i hope you can get beyond it and keep losing..take care.
07-19-2011, 06:56 PM
I am going to be a success story on this diet. This diet will become my lifestyle and one day you are going to see a picture of me up there next to my name and i am going to be smiling, happy and healthy.
Just keep repeating this (above) to yourself...you can do it! I look forward to seeing your picture when you hit your goal of being happy and healthy. Start smiling now, because YOU WILL GET THERE!
We all have our demons...you don't know mine and I don't know yours...everybody has their own cross to bear. The only thing that we all have in common is the ability to move forward, away from our demons. But ultimately that is our choice. If you feel you need help with your past issues, please do get some, your little one deserves a happy and strong mom (and your relationship with her will be better for it...promise)
Hang in there and good luck to you, Port
07-19-2011, 07:53 PM
Wow Port, sounds like you got a lot off your chest...that has to feel better. I was following all of the posts last night, and you were being negative, and I DO think everyone was trying to help and not be mean, and the problem only comes we have to be careful that negativity breeds negativity. I think they were trying to bring you up, but you were having a really bad day. I would say don't give up on posts, just admit when you are in wone of those places and say to yourself, maybe I need to read tonight and not posts, and you know, you may find a post partner you click with that you guys will get to know each other and it won't seem offensive and you will know how to resopond to each other. I asked for a partner and Wuv2B stepped up, we Facebook IM'd this afternoon, it was great to have someone there.
DON'T GIVE UP AND SMILE NOW!!!!!!
07-19-2011, 08:00 PM
I missed your 'rant' last night but I did read your confession and the posts advising you that this may not be the best diet for you. Just like brummie said we all have our demons and lots of them are tied to our weight/ eating habits. Your outlook needs to change to be successful on this or any diet and sometimes changing your outlook can be nearly impossible as what you are in fact doing is reprogramming your brain and overcoming all of the shortcuts it has created for coping. Everyone on here wants you to succeed. Don't feel as if they are telling you it isn't the program for you because they are picking on you specifically- the same is said to everyone who posts about their cheats. And they are simply offering up the Golden Rule to you- NO CHEATING. You NEED to wrap your mind around this. You are human, I am human and I understand cheating as I have cheated on every diet I've ever been on except for this one BUT it is a very slippery slope- one that leads to failure. I DO NOT want you to fail therefore I DO NOT want you to cheat. These two things are hand in hand and you MUST learn to see it this way. No one can succeed on your diet for you- you have to to do it for yourself and the way to do this is learn a very simple word 'NO'. When you are out for dinner and there is nothing on the menu that is IP (which is unlikely) please have an emergency pack in your purse of a bar, an individual size dressing and reach down deep and come up with the word NO to anything that is not on your sheet of pre approved foods. Yes, there is a ton of emotional baggage to sort through, yes it sucks that you can't eat like everyone else even for just one meal but deal with these things as they come and please tell yourself from this point CHEATING IS NOT OKAY. This is not to come from me- it is to come from YOU. YOU need to tell yourself this. I don't make decisions for you- YOU make decisions for YOU. And YOU are WORTH it! You are worth more than a nanaimo bar, a doughnut or a gluten free pizza. Believe this!! The self esteem that you will gain from telling yourself no is absolutely invaluable. While each of these moments of giving into food may seem inconsequential they aren't. Rome wasn't built in a day but each moment of temptation that you say no to- especially the hard ones- will propel you so much further ahead. I look forward to reading your 100% OP posts in the future and I can't wait to see how fabulous you look after a few months on the program!!!:hug::hug::hug::hug:
07-20-2011, 02:48 PM
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh~
and you are loved more, than you realize.
No cheating until phase 4. Get there.
07-20-2011, 05:31 PM
Those who suggested you may need to change your diet, were not being flippant or rude or judgemental, they were only responding to your post as that is the only information they have . Many of us have found changing diets to be helpful , when I was on a rigid, hard to follow plan it was difficult. I changed plans , more than once, and had better success.
07-20-2011, 08:59 PM
Look inside yourself first and I assure you there is plenty of strength in you to stick to this or any other diet. But it is up to you to realise that. Just like this forum cannot make to see that it can also not bring you down.
You realise what you need to do. Once you start that journey you will get to your destination. One step at a time.
07-20-2011, 09:54 PM
. As for posting again on here: Im not certain that i will ever make myself known through a post again, because it appears that im not welcome and its obviously apparent, that i come across as being negative a lot of the time, when i am truly not a negative person and my posts have been mis-read for there content.
You are dead wrong about not being welcome here. I would bet money that even those who you hurt quite badly (as well as the people who unintentionally hurt you) do not want to see you to leave. We all want the best for you.
If you weren't welcome here, one of two things would happen. The moderators would ask you to leave, or people would stop responding to your posts and would start ignoring you. I've seen both happen, and you're not remotely in that league.
You're not any where near the "most negative" person who has ever and will ever be here. I'd even venture to say that there are for more negative people who are regular members (and most of us love them anyway, especially if when they calm down they can admit they may have misinterpreted the situation that made them rant and vent and rail against people only trying to help).
This is a welcoming place, and you arent the only person to have ever come here from a negative place. We have welcomed sad, angry, bitter and hostile, and they're all welcome to stay as long as they follow the rules (even if they never change).
We did, have, and will continue to welcome you, for as long as you want to stay, but that doesn't mean you will like everything we say. There's not a single person here, who likes everything everyone says. But to stay here, and to comment here, you do have to learn that people are going to respond from their own place. Some will be just as angry with you, as you have been angry with others. That's ok. It is what it is. As long as you don't break the rules in expressing your emotions (even the negative ones) you will be welcome here.
I'm not going to lie, there has been a lot more negativity in your posts than I usually see. It does seem to me that you have expected far more empathy than you've been able or willing to give. That does tend to annoy people (or even make them as angry or angrier than you have been). To profit from being here, we all have to be able to suck it up when we don't hear what we want to hear.
And that means that just as you have to suck it up that some of us hurt you, the people you hurt have to suck it up too. And we'll all gladly do it, because we know it's necessary.
There are all sorts of people and personalities here, even those with a lot more negativity than you've expressed, and we welcome them all, and as long as they follow "the rules" they get to stay. You're welcome here until the moderators ask you to leave, and for that to happen, you'ld have to be a lot more negative than you've been so far.
But if you stay, it won't mean that people will stop pointing out what they see in your posts, as they see it. You may think they're wrong, and some will be, but if you hear a lot of people saying the same thing, it doesn't mean they're not welcoming you.
If you don't want to post because you're not ready to hear criticism, then don't post. Lurk until you're strong enough to hear criticism without crumbling. Until you can learn to take the criticism with a grain of salt - knowing most people are trying to help, so you can take the advice that works for you, and discard the rest.
But don't hold back because you think you're not welcome here, because you are, exactly as you are. Rants and all (just remember that if you rant, some people will rant back, especially if they're the target of your rant).
On a practical note, and I am definitely NOT saying that IP is not for you, but I will say it's one of the most "hard core, tough love, bootcamp" style groups we have here. If "tough love" is not your style, you don't have to drop IP, but you may consider posting in the "softer" forums.
07-21-2011, 12:05 PM
Port..I missed all of the posts being discussed. There is some excellent advice here. I really hope you can keep posting and getting support.