100 lb. Club - Are you comfortable with your body?




anawhatsme
05-16-2011, 10:44 PM
i'm not.
i always feel self conscious about my body.
i won't look in a full length mirror...ever.
i HATE trying on clothes.

i'm looking forward to looking into a full length mirror and being at least ok with what i see.
i'm looking forward to enjoying trying on clothes.

are (and were) you comfortable with your body?


boardriider
05-16-2011, 11:51 PM
No. I'm not. At all.
You're not alone. I hate trying stuff on, I just imagine myself wearing it in public, and I normally can't do it. I adjust my clothes all the time, thinking somethings not concealing me the way I want it to, or something's sticking out. I wanna just walk out my door to go anywhere really, without looking in the mirror 20 times and scrutinizing everything I see.
One day. It's coming...

kaplods
05-17-2011, 12:29 AM
For the most part, yes.

I've never been as body conscious as I was taught to believe a "fat girl" should be.

That doesn't mean there aren't things I want to change about my body, and I'm working on them, but I'm also ok with working with what I've got, even if it's not the exact body what I want. It could be a whole lot worse.

I think it helped that I loved swimming so much that I had to get over the idea that fat girls (and anyone with a less tham magazine-worthy body) were supposed to be horrified and traumatized at the thought of being in public in a bathing suit, and were obligated to protect decent society from the sight of bare fatness.


Nola Celeste
05-17-2011, 12:29 AM
I'm generally comfortable WITH my body, but sometimes I am not comfortable IN my body.

I don't mind full-length mirrors and have even grown to like them now, as they show me how much my weight loss shows already. Shopping for clothes is not much of an issue for me as clothes cost money and I don't have much of that ;). And I definitely don't feel self-conscious about the way I look, at least not where it counts, with my husband. On the contrary, I love to be seen and touched because I feel fantastic right now. I enjoyed it a lot at my highest weight, but it's even better now.

But I definitely still feel uncomfortable in my body sometimes. There are some yoga positions that I can't reach as fully as I'd like because my body literally gets in the way of itself. I can now cross my legs, but it still doesn't come naturally to me to do so and it isn't yet comfortable to do. I can't seem to find my real clothing size, which is a pain as most of my shopping now is secondhand. I still don't have the level of physical fitness I'd like to have. Although I'm a lot more comfortable now than I was 40 pounds ago, I still get in the way of myself sometimes.

So while I'm mostly comfortable with my body and getting more comfortable with it daily, I'm not yet comfortable IN it sometimes. I'm hoping that that will change in the next few months.

milmin2043
05-17-2011, 12:34 AM
For the most part, yes.

I've never been as body conscious as I was taught to believe a "fat girl" should be.

That doesn't mean there aren't things I want to change about my body, and I'm working on them, but I'm also ok with working with what I've got, even if it's not the exact body what I want. It could be a whole lot worse.

I think it helped that I loved swimming so much that I had to get over the idea that fat girls (and anyone with a less tham magazine-worthy body) were supposed to be horrified and traumatized at the thought of being in public in a bathing suit, and were obligated to protect decent society from the sight of bare fatness.

kaplods-I love this. Your posts are great.

I feel pretty good with my body, not just because I've lost the weight either. I pretty much always did. I didn't lose weight to look better (well, maybe that was 20% of it). It truly was for my health. I stand in the full length mirror naked and pull my skin up and think "wow, what I couldn't do with a free plastic surgeon". BUT, other than that, I'm good.

gloo
05-17-2011, 01:59 AM
kaplods-I love this. Your posts are great

Yes they are. kaplods, I love reading you. You always seem to center me somehow, so thank you for that.

I've never been completely uncomfortable in my body, but I've been more comfortable at times than others. I don't let how much I weigh define me. I can still feel cute and pretty and oh yes, sometimes dead sexy. It definitely helps that I have friends that b*tchslap me back into reality when I need it.

One of my best male friends is great for this. He always notices when I've lost even a couple pounds or am wearing a new dress or something. He asked me recently if I feel sexier these days, because I'm exuding a confidence he doesn't remember seeing several months ago. That's a huge compliment to me.

The other day I was just all kinds of blah and he was walking behind me down the hall at work. He was all "hey girl -- boobs out, stomach in, shoulders back, head high". I turned around and smiled and he was like "don't look at me, just do it!". So I did. I walked with pride and confidence and I couldn't believe how much just the simple way I walked made me feel better in my own body. Today I was *****ing about my upper arms -- my nemesis -- and he grabbed the back of my arm and showed me the muscle that's developing there. It made me happy, and way less conscious of the cap-sleeve sweater I was wearing.

I don't find my self confidence in other people, but I find when friends do things like that I tend to look back and remember their kind words and advice and it helps me find my inner sex-ay. Sometime, hopefully soon, it'll be my voice in my head instead of theirs. :)

Trazey34
05-17-2011, 08:46 AM
There's bits I'm not thrilled with, but show me any woman at 45 who isn't and I'll show you a liar ;) But that being said, I've always been OK with me, fat or thinner. I'm ME :) All the flaws and wobbly bits, I'm ME and I love me :) Always have, always will. I fret so much when I hear people say they hate themselves NOW but plan on loving themselves when they're thin, that's mental. I can see not being thrilled with the size of your bum, etc., but only for a minute. Then look at your face and see that you're cute, or have nice hair, or good b00bs, or nice toenails, whatever! Something good is there! Don't wait til you're perfect to love your body :(

Eliana
05-17-2011, 09:00 AM
Anawhatsme, I hope you experience the same thing I did. :hug:

Yes, I had body issues, horrible ones. I had body issues back in high school when I was tiny! Having gained all that weight ended up being a blessing for me, and believe it or not if I had it to do again, I would. But not twice! :rofl:

What I found was that my body image improved significantly with every ten pounds I lost. I loved my body at 200 pounds. Maybe a size 16? I felt so good about myself both about my appearance and my level of fitness.

You don't have to lose all the weight to start feeling amazing. That's something I didn't know at the beginning of this process.

Now today, at this size, I still have issues. :dizzy: But it's nothing like it used to be! I can talk myself into some sense these days. Whereas before my words to myself used to be "All of me is a blob" now my words are more critical of only certain areas. Before I hated every part of my body. Now I love my fingers, my chest, my arms, my shoulders, my collar bone, my rear. :D It's easier to tell you what I don't like! I am not yet happy with my belly nor my thighs. That is all. And that may not change.

tschaff04
05-17-2011, 09:33 AM
At 250 lbs, no. Not even close. I avoided mirrors, shopping for clothing, and cameras like the plague.

Now at 164 pounds, yes and no. With clothes on absolutely! I feel very confident with the way I look when I go out. But when I am unclothed, the stuff that only I can see. I still have some work to do there. It's mainly toning that is my issue. My tummy is kind of flabby from losing all the weight and it needs some serious toning. I am working on it but just like my weight loss it is a slow and steady process. Of course I am still way more confident naked than I was at 250 but I can't say I am 100% happy with what I see.

tschaff04
05-17-2011, 09:43 AM
Well said! I agree 100%. I was still confident with certain things at 250. Sure I wasn't to thrilled about being over 100 pounds overweight. I could find plenty of flaws. But I loved some things too. I still thought I was cute, even if someone else didn't. I knew better. ;)

There's bits I'm not thrilled with, but show me any woman at 45 who isn't and I'll show you a liar ;) But that being said, I've always been OK with me, fat or thinner. I'm ME :) All the flaws and wobbly bits, I'm ME and I love me :) Always have, always will. I fret so much when I hear people say they hate themselves NOW but plan on loving themselves when they're thin, that's mental. I can see not being thrilled with the size of your bum, etc., but only for a minute. Then look at your face and see that you're cute, or have nice hair, or good b00bs, or nice toenails, whatever! Something good is there! Don't wait til you're perfect to love your body :(

synger
05-17-2011, 10:09 AM
I didn't always "like" my body, and sometimes I felt like it was my enemy in the weight-loss fight, but I didn't HATE it. Now, however, with some 30+ years of obesity and a baby behind me, I am really uncomfortable with my panniculus. The rest of me is just "big"; I've dealt with "big" all my life. But the belly is droopy, wiggly, and gross.

That being said, I am finding that the more energy I have and the less pain I suffer (from being more active as I slowly lose weight), the better I like my body.

popspry
05-17-2011, 10:18 AM
I hate my body. I hate the tube of unmovable fat around my midline. I hate the noticeable stretch marks across my stomach (and I haven't even had kids), I hate how dispropotionate I feel. I wish it was all some illusion, all in my head, but it isn't really.

Coondocks
05-17-2011, 10:43 AM
I don't know if I'm always totally comfortable with or in my body, but I've become a lot more appreciative of it and take more pride in it.
I've changed it, and I'm proud of that. I'm not at the point where I can say there is nothing I want to improve on, on some level I'm not sure I'll ever be able to say there isn't something I'd like to improve on - but that's my own issue I think.
For the most part though, I'm very proud of what I've done, proud of what I can accomplish now that I couldn't a year ago and proud of myself for making the effort to improve myself.

But . . . I do have my moments that I am all ego and think I am just all kinds of fabulous!

PaulaM
05-17-2011, 11:16 AM
Yes! I have lost several friends to cancer already and I am just so happy to be here and relatively healthy. When I look in the mirror I concentrate on the parts of me that are beautiful. Every part of me works (more or less LOL), I can walk and dance and exercise. I don't understand the self hatred, never did, if you don't love yourself who will

OhMyDogs
05-17-2011, 11:26 AM
I am absolutely not comfortable in my body. I love WHO I am, but I hate how I look. I am working on it. It takes time, but it's time spent being very uncomfortable. This discomfort will be what keeps me from coming back here. This discomfort is what gives me a minor heart attack every time I see an increase on the scale, even if it's just TOM, or sodium. THIS discomfort is vital to my newer and healthier life.

When I run (I just do teeny tiny bits on my Wii, in the house for now), and the extra weigh bounces around, especially in areas that shouldn't have a bunch of fat (like the back), and I am realizing how gross and uncomfortable it feels, I just picture it being bounced off. That keeps me running. I use the discomfort as a tool to help me get to where I want to be.

SouthLake
05-17-2011, 01:06 PM
I find that my feelings about my body directly correlate with how well I treat it. On days that I'm on plan, doing well, exercising, etc, I can try on clothes that make me look gigantic and shrug my shoulders and move on. On days where I'm eating crap or I've been lacking in exercise for too long, every pair of pants fits wrong, my stomach feels enormous, and I'm ridiculously self conscious, even if the scale is reflecting a good number.

It's not even just about my weight either. I have been just as disgusted with my body at 138 as I have been at 238, all depending on whether or not I've been taking care of myself.

Losing weight has been a surreal experience. I hated 200 pounds on the way up. It was a huge tombstone of failure. On the way down? It's great! I used to be ashamed of my body in a bikini at 152 pounds (my honeymoon). Now, I'll probably be ready for one 175-180. When I look at my body for what it can do (leg press my own weight! woot!) and myself for what I'm capable of (making excellent decisions), I don't care what the scale says, or how many rolls of fat I have hanging around.

So, yes, today, I am comfortable in my own body, because it is strong, beautiful, and awesome! But, I know that my ability to feel that way is entirely dependent on my treating it that way.

Nikki6kidsmom
05-17-2011, 01:49 PM
Because I spend so much time working out I find I am more critical of my body now then ever before. I do not put myself down to other people but when I am alone in the bathroom mirror I am more focused on what I still have to work on then all that I have changed so far.
I have been outwardly confident at every weight and always believed in you can be beautiful at any size.

mypinkpolkadot
05-17-2011, 02:01 PM
Some days I look in the mirror, and say "I'm thick and adorable" and some days I look in the mirror, and just wanna cry...

Just gotta take it as you go, and know that it will get better.

JamiSue3916
05-17-2011, 02:35 PM
I find that my feelings about my body directly correlate with how well I treat it.

Love this bit from you SouthLake! I would say that I have to agree. Being just at the beginning of my journey - a mere 20lbs lighter than I was at the start - I feel exponentially better about myself (and my body) than I did in March. I also know that it is only partially related to the numbers on the scale but primarily because I feel good about my behaviors and actions! :D

When I run (I just do teeny tiny bits on my Wii, in the house for now), and the extra weigh bounces around, especially in areas that shouldn't have a bunch of fat (like the back), and I am realizing how gross and uncomfortable it feels, I just picture it being bounced off.

OhMyDogs :lol3:! I so LOVE what you said here 'cause it is so true! I've been to Zumba several times with my much skinnier friends and there's one instructor in particular that does a lot of jumpy/bouncey moves and it drives me crazy! They noticed too but of course it didn't bother them. I explained that it so uncomfortable and awkward for your body to be going one direction and all your fat to be going the other! Makes me feel like I'm going to fall over or something! Too funny... I CANNOT wait to jump rope and feel nothing the but the fabulous joy of it! ;)

I don't know if I'm always totally comfortable with or in my body, but I've become a lot more appreciative of it and take more pride in it.

Great reminder here. In reflection on my past self (I'm still at the beginning of my journey but I'm NEVER going back) I realize how incredibly careless and indulgent it was to take my health for granted. Abusing it and testing it for what? To see how long it would take to give out!?! I'm proud of the changes I've made and just get prouder each OP day that goes by. I'm not happy with my body but I do appreciate and take more pride in it - every roll and every stretch mark! Thanks Coondocks!

anawhatsme
05-18-2011, 01:40 AM
thanks to all of you for sharing.
i found myself in agreement with many things you all said.
the other day my mother told me about a self esteem course she thought i might be interested in.
i told her my self esteem is fine, it's my self image that's negative.
i think i have great qualities, i like me...i just hate my appearance.
i wish i didn't have such an issue with how i look, but i do.
i probably always will, big or small.
but i'm sure i'll be more accepting of it once it's smaller and healthier.

thanks again for sharing.

Ky30
05-18-2011, 07:23 AM
No I was not when I was 285 pounds couldnt stand to look in the mirror or a picture of myself. Now at 198 Im ok with looking in the mirror or seeing pics as I like to see how far I have come and where I still need to go :)

ubergirl
05-18-2011, 08:47 AM
When I was 295 I liked myself but I was deathly uncomfortable in my body. I couldn't move around easily, my knees always hurt, I didn't fit place, I could never find anything to wear. And I was so unselfconfident that I would avoid meeting people, often trying to keep business relationships to phone and email, afraid that people would like me less if they met me in person. I never had the right clothes, and I neglected other aspects of my appearance-- walking around with my roots half grown out, for example.

But, like Eliana, once I lost a chunk of the weight and got really fit, I started to feel really good about myself and feel excellent in my body.

For me, the weight loss was important, but the fitness was even more important. When I feel fit, I feel good about myself, and the excess weight doesn't bother me as much.

Sadly, I spent most of my teen and early adult years hating my body and feeling HORRIBLE about it. I think that had a lot to do with how I let myself get so morbidly obese-- I FELT just as fat at 150 as I did at 250.

When I see other women who are heavy, I don't think "wow she's so fat and ugly, she must be worthless..." so it makes me very sad that I did that to myself for so many years.

MEH1969
05-18-2011, 09:22 AM
Some days are good, some are bad. I spent much of my 20's like many other women picking apart every flaw. I thought I was a horrible fat cow when I weighed 180. How I'd love to be there today. ;) It's all about perspective.

These days, it's mostly about being healthy. Sure, I want to look better, but feeling better is more important to me now that I'm on the downside of 41. I'd like to keep going a lot longer, and I've finally realized that when you don't take care of your body, it will give out on you. Simple concept, but so hard to put into practice for many.

I've finally (mostly) gotten over refusing to go out in a swimsuit. I want to be with my kids at the pool, so I do it. Most of the people there are moms and dads and focused on their kids. Would I get into a pool in Las Vegas with 20 somethings? Probably not. :lol

anawhatsme
05-18-2011, 04:32 PM
When I was 295 I liked myself but I was deathly uncomfortable in my body. I couldn't move around easily, my knees always hurt, I didn't fit place, I could never find anything to wear. And I was so unselfconfident that I would avoid meeting people, often trying to keep business relationships to phone and email, afraid that people would like me less if they met me in person.

this is SOOOOOOOOOO me 100%

ButterCup85
05-18-2011, 04:37 PM
I wasn't before, even though I'm at 222 which is about 9 pounds down from where I was a few weeks ago. The 9 pounds hasn't made as much if a difference as just exercising. I have a ways to go still, but I know that I am not sitting around only thinking about it anymore. I'm doing it and proud of myself. And, I guess with that being said my confidence is much better and I am comfortable with my body, only because I know I'm changing it, and I feel so much more healthy and energized. More than I ever imagined I would at any weight.

geoblewis
05-18-2011, 05:03 PM
Me too. I love who I am, and I'm struggling to love my body. I don't love what I see in the mirror. I do love how much better I'm feeling as I lose weight. I don't love how much flabbier I'm getting as I lose weight. Handfuls of loose fat in even looser skin.

There are larger women that I see who are wearing things like tank tops, shorts or really tight clothes. I'm assuming it's because they are proud of themselves or they want to feel attractive and desirable. There are older women who are thin and also wearing the same, because they're thin and want to feel young, attractive and desirable. I can't imagine myself making these fashion choices. I want to feel attractive and desirable, but do I have to feel like that 24/7? Sometimes I just want to feel good about myself because I am happy and free. I love my temprament! I always feel smart. I feel blessed to have my brain. I don't like it when I look in the mirror and don't see physical evidence of my state of mind. I guess there's an expectation on my part that how good I feel inside shines out and colors other's vision of me. Maybe it does and I'm the only one not seeing it. Because I have a lot of friends, good friends. And maybe, like I don't need everyone complimenting my on how good a friend I am all the time, or how smart of funny I am, I don't really need people telling me how lovely I am all the time. But people do compliment me when my hair is looking really nice, or if I look particularly good in a certain outfit.

Hey, let's sincerely compliment other people more. I see people all the time who are of varying ages and sizes who want to be admired for a variety of reasons. We can start a movement of our own. There will be those who will deny our compliments. They need to be schooled to just accept it and express gratitude. There will be others who will want to offer a compliment in return. We should accept those and be grateful too. Maybe we'll change our brains into seeing something better in ourselves.

ButterCup85
05-18-2011, 05:09 PM
Me too. I love who I am, and I'm struggling to love my body. I don't love what I see in the mirror. I do love how much better I'm feeling as I lose weight. I don't love how much flabbier I'm getting as I lose weight. Handfuls of loose fat in even looser skin.

There are larger women that I see who are wearing things like tank tops, shorts or really tight clothes. I'm assuming it's because they are proud of themselves or they want to feel attractive and desirable. There are older women who are thin and also wearing the same, because they're thin and want to feel young, attractive and desirable. I can't imagine myself making these fashion choices. I want to feel attractive and desirable, but do I have to feel like that 24/7? Sometimes I just want to feel good about myself because I am happy and free. I love my temprament! I always feel smart. I feel blessed to have my brain. I don't like it when I look in the mirror and don't see physical evidence of my state of mind. I guess there's an expectation on my part that how good I feel inside shines out and colors other's vision of me. Maybe it does and I'm the only one not seeing it. Because I have a lot of friends, good friends. And maybe, like I don't need everyone complimenting my on how good a friend I am all the time, or how smart of funny I am, I don't really need people telling me how lovely I am all the time. But people do compliment me when my hair is looking really nice, or if I look particularly good in a certain outfit.

Hey, let's sincerely compliment other people more. I see people all the time who are of varying ages and sizes who want to be admired for a variety of reasons. We can start a movement of our own. There will be those who will deny our compliments. They need to be schooled to just accept it and express gratitude. There will be others who will want to offer a compliment in return. We should accept those and be grateful too. Maybe we'll change our brains into seeing something better in ourselves.

I was googling today. Hello my name is amber I'm a pro google queen. Anyways, I was reading abotu hard fat and flabby fat. Because I am also getting more flabby. I haven't lost that much but where there were two hard rolls on my tummy I now have 3 soft ones, all flabby.

Anyways, from what I read and many say and I may be wrong. Apparently, that FLAB that used to be harder or not as jiggly is now getting flabby because it's getting ready to basically be gotten rid of. For your body to use it up as energy and dump it. I don't know if it's true, but it's what A LOT of sites said. So, after reading that I am starting to love this extra jiggle- it's on its way OUT THE DOOR!

One guy said this- makes sense to me! Hard fat is fat that hasn't seen a good deal of blood circulation in a loooooong time. The fat tends to settle nicely and gets relatively hard. Remember fat needs very little maintenance so the body doesn't bother providing much circulation to the tissue. It's therefore common for people that haven't had much exercise to have hard fat (or rather, it's just firm). Once you start getting plenty of cardiovascular exercise however your circulation improves dramatically. Your body needs to open all the capilliaries at the surface of your skin to get the blood moving around. This means capilliaries through subcutaneous fat. So as you get fitter, your fat turns more jelly-like (it's quite nasty, trust me ;)). However, it's a great sign. The more blood vessels going through your fat, the more readily your body can access those fat stores and the healthier your body is becoming.

geoblewis
05-18-2011, 06:14 PM
Amber! You have totally made my day! Thank you!

konfyoozed
05-18-2011, 06:34 PM
i've always been comfortable with me, well almost. there have been those dark hours after a bad break up when i blamed the whole thing on my being fat until i realized it was because the guy was a jerk, not because i was fat.

i have never been thin. i had to learn to love myself in this fat body, and i've always been fairly confident in it. my weight is a number on a scale. it doesn't measure my self worth, and i've never legitimately felt like i was some kind of lesser person because of my excess weight. i've never tried to lose weight to keep a man, or get a man, or for vanity. anyone who didn't want to befriend me as a fat person is, in my mind, not worth being friends with as a thin person (when i get there). i don't have room for those kind of judgmental people in my life.

i love me, all of me, and accept who i am and what i look like. that saying is true, if you don't... others can't.

Fit4Lyfe
05-18-2011, 07:27 PM
Sometimes I'm is, sometimes I'm ain't lol...but seriously, I have hated my body and hated everything about it, no clothes look good, no rock is big enough to hide under.

But...there are times when I LOVE my body: the round butt, the (now smaller) waist, the long legs (my legs are super long and even at their fattest, were very shapely)...everything.

Do I want to change some stuff? heck yes!!! LOL, I hate my gut, and my arm fat, but I'm working on it, but I love my body, I love it so much I am taking this fat off of it and treating it better.

Arctic Mama
05-18-2011, 07:38 PM
kaplods-I love this. Your posts are great.

I feel pretty good with my body, not just because I've lost the weight either. I pretty much always did. I didn't lose weight to look better (well, maybe that was 20% of it). It truly was for my health. I stand in the full length mirror naked and pull my skin up and think "wow, what I couldn't do with a free plastic surgeon". BUT, other than that, I'm good.

I agree with both you and Kaplods. That could be part of the reason I didn't lose weight for so many years, despite being visibly overweight and then obese - I loved myself and thought I was kind, smart, pretty... The fat didn't take away from those in a significant way until it impacted my energy and ability to be a good wife and mom. Even then, the moments of disliking myself were few and far between. I wasn't always the most attractive, with that much excess weight, but it was nothing I lost sleep over.

I still love my body and every other good thing about me. I am looking sexier these days, and feeling it as well, but I never loathed myself. That attitude, to me, is wrong at any size. If I loathe myself, why would I expect others to treat me better?