General chatter - Any tips on how to focus less on work and more on personal life?




FreeBird3
05-10-2011, 09:29 PM
I'm trying very hard to focus less on my work life. Throughout my 20s, my sole focus was on grad school and work. I'm 33 now and, even though I'm finished with school and have no other true commitments, I still put all my focus on work. Even after I clock out, I find myself doing work at home or thinking about work. I haven't been out on a date in a few years due to my poor self esteem. The 30 pounds that I've gained last year doesn't help with that fact either.

It would be different if I actually enjoyed what I do for a living, but I do not enjoy it at all. At the start of this month, I made a promise to myself. That promise is to clock out at exactly 5pm each day regardless of what task I'm in the middle of doing. Of course, if there is a deadline for that day, then I will stay after work. I try not to check my work emails after work anymore either. I figured if it's truly an emergency, then my boss will call me. I no longer care about climbing up the corporate ladder. I don't like office politics to begin with and, at best, I may end up in middle management in 20 years. :o

How do other people do it? I do have anixety and I lack confidence at work even though I've been doing it for 5 years now. I know it's due to poor self esteem.

How do you leave work behind after you clock out? It seems like everyone is able to do the work/life balance. My father was a workoholic and I don't want to be one.


JessLess
05-10-2011, 10:35 PM
Take your work email off your home computer. If you have a work Blackberry, leave it in the car. Good luck!

zoodoo613
05-11-2011, 10:36 AM
I think the first step would be finding something else to focus on. It sounds like you have a lot of freedom right now, which might not always be the case. Start treating that time and freedom as a luxury to be enjoyed. Do you have any hobbies? Activities you enjoy? Spend more time in them, look for classes or groups to do those things with. I know it's not easy to come out of your shell, but you'll be happier eventually if you do.

Or how about this? You say you're not happy in your job. Start spending time plotting your new path in life.


Coondocks
05-11-2011, 10:36 AM
Find something in your personal life you enjoy doing or want to do that will take away from the draw to work.
If you've got nothing else going on when you leave the office, why wouldn't you be thinking about it?
Just need to find something else to occupy your time - can you join a walking club, book club, find something you enjoy doing on your own or take a class that has nothing at all to do with work like a cooking class or soemthing like that?
Just a thought.

LisaP916
05-11-2011, 11:34 AM
I read, play games online, play with my pets... I have a Kindle and I'm LOVING be able to read anytime I want, any book I want.

Sometimes, too, you just have to put yourself out there. At my heaviest, in my early 30's, I basically said "Eff this!" to sitting in the house alone. I went out to movies by myself, I went to bars to watch sports, I joined a social group. Eventually I made friends, I dated, and I met my now husband. :-)

MiZTaCCen
05-11-2011, 11:48 AM
I think the first step would be finding something else to focus on. It sounds like you have a lot of freedom right now, which might not always be the case. Start treating that time and freedom as a luxury to be enjoyed. Do you have any hobbies? Activities you enjoy? Spend more time in them, look for classes or groups to do those things with. I know it's not easy to come out of your shell, but you'll be happier eventually if you do.

Or how about this? You say you're not happy in your job. Start spending time plotting your new path in life.

I agree and I'm going to promote for you to read unlimted by Jillian Michaels she explains a lot of this stuff in her book. You have to find things you love outside of work and start focusing on them. Once I leave my work place I'm done with it for the day. The people in it, the job I do everything stays behind me and at the door until I walk into it the next morning, or evening for either jobs.

beerab
05-11-2011, 01:59 PM
Remember that when you are old and on your death bed the one thing you will NEVER regret is "I didn't work enough." NOBODY regrets not working more at their job because it's not the most important thing in life.

When you are home you are HOME- that's it. I always tell myself stuff can WAIT till tomorrow- if you do it or not it'll still be there the next day AND besides that there will always be more work to do when it's done. You don't want to work so hard that you get yourself stuck in your position because they won't want to promote you so you can get that work done.

You say you have gained 30 lbs- well why not use the time after work to "work" on yourself. Join a gym and go straight there after work, get your work out on, then go home and shower and relax and do anything that is NOT work related.

I used to take my work home, practically kill myself for the places I worked. And yet when the time came for lay-offs the company didn't even BLINK when they let me go. It was very devastating for me but it made me realize I'm killing myself for no reason. At the end of the day my current job gets me from 6:30 am to 3:30 pm and that's IT. I spend that time at home on me, my husband, my family, and my pets.

I agree to find something you love and go for it. Your health is a good start, if you like to cook start cooking more. If you like to read join a book club, etc. :)