He dates me then tells me he has a girlfriend and then insists on being friends?
I was seeing this guy for about a month.
So I texted him last night asking if we could hang out. Which then he replied, "Sure, you're welcome to come over anytime." So I told him I would be over around 8:30pm. He then told me that he needed to talk to me about some stuff. Hmmm. Anyway, so he's about 30 minutes away from me. It's pouring rain too.
I arrive, and he offers me a beer. He goes outside to smoke and then gestures to me to go outside with him. He shuts the door, and then apologizes to me for getting intimate with me the last time we hung out (making out). He then tells me that he has a girlfriend. And then he tells me that it was unexpected and he thinks I'm a much better person than he is and explaining that he's an alcoholic, chain smokes and doesn't even have a license. I get mad and I'm like, "So you make me drive all the way up here just to tell me this?" And he says that he hopes that we can still be friends and wants me to stay and hang out. I'm pissed and trying not to cry...I go inside and text a girlfriend asking if I could come over. The guy keeps trying to talk to me while I'm texting and I just hold my finger to him and tell him to shut up. He's offering me food, more beer and offering to hang out longer.
So...I grab my keys and I head out the door. He then chases me holding his jacket over my head so I don't get wet. And I tell him that I don't need him to help me and as I walk to my car (in the rain), I hear, "So we can't be friends?" I get pissed. I stop and turn around and storm back to him and I say, "Why the **** do you still want to be friends?" He tells me that I'm the coolest and most awesome girl that he's ever met and he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. He goes on to say that he still wants to hang out and do things together. I'm just sitting there...and then he offers his jacket again (I take it because I'm getting soaked at this point). I hand him his jacket back and wave goodbye to him and as I walk away... then he says, "It's not because of your weight you know". I stop again and go back and I say, "I wasn't even thinking about that...but thanks for making it awkward." And he tries to explain himself again. He goes on to say that he REALLY wants to be friends and then he says, "Okay, how about this: Don't talk to me for a week. And if you still want to be friends, call me or text me. The ball is in your court." I tell him that I honestly don't know. He walks me back to my car and tells me again how awesome of a person I am and he hopes to hear from me soon.
I've already moved on and started seeing other guys again and have a couple dates planned for this weekend. So I'll be okay.
This happened last night so it's still fresh. Now I'm just more pissed than upset. So yeah...WTF. I'm used to when a guy isn't interested, he cuts you off and never talks to you again, especially if he has a girlfriend. That would be easier at least. This was totally new to me.
We got along really well...and I guess when I get over his douchebaggery and over him emotionally I wouldn't mind being friends. But I think that might just be asking for trouble.
Agree with bargoo - i wouldn't want any friend that went behind someone else's back and pulled that crap. I'd be like the ball's in my court and you're not even in the game.
Don't do it. The main will eventually come on to you and try to sleep with you. No man who already showed a sexual interest in you is that nice unless he still has something like that in mind. Call me cynical if you want but it's true. That last thing you want to do is get involved with a loser like that who has a history of sneaking around behind his girlfriend's back. He had an entire month to tell you but he didn't. That's just super shifty to me.
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I'd be like the ball's in my court and you're not even in the game.
I feel bad for you and his girlfriend. Neither of you deserve a jerk like that in your life.
Its your choice, but I wouldn't call him. He's not much of a friend if he got you emotionaly involved with him when he wasn't free.
Insisting you remain friends after betraying your trust isn't very nice or friend like of him either.
I read the title of your post and then I read the whole post. My response is the same, both to the short title and the full story:
He's a douchenozzle.
Seriously. There is no need to be friends with someone who A) fools around behind his girlfriend's back, B) thinks that your weight even bears mentioning, C) was totally okay with your driving half an hour in the rain just so he could give you a "Dear Jane" speech, and D) thinks you're the coolest chick EVER, but prefers you as a friend--yet doesn't treat you with the consideration due a friend.
And that's not even counting the fairly serious life issues he has brewing in his psyche.
Personally, I think the guy did you a favor. You are simply too good for him and for what he might bring to a friendship. He isn't worth the price of admission for any kind of relationship with him, platonic or otherwise.
And I thought all the alcoholic chain-smokers who don't hold a valid driver's license were taken...glad to know there's a few left for us worthy women.
He walks me back to my car and tells me again how awesome of a person I am
Yeah, this is about the only thing I agree with him about!
He's a cake eater who washes it down with beer and finishes it off with a cig. I bet his breath is pretty good too, huh? (insert sarcasm here) And if he cheats on his girlfriend with you, he might eventually do it TO you. This guy is toxic. Stay far away.....like 30 minutes away! What kind of friend can he be if he already started your relationship off with a lie?
Wow. What an arse. Of course it wasn't b/c of your weight or else he wouldn't have been making out with you in the first place. It's b/c he was acting like a dbag loser that was trying to fool around on his gf. At least he has the decency to feel bad about how he's behaved. I still wouldn't give him the time of day though, he has honesty and commitment problems, those are big problems for an adult to still have.
He's a jerk for not telling you he has a girlfriend, especially right before you guys made out.
Secondly, he's a jerk for making you drive over to his house so he can tell you this.
Thirdly, he's a jerk for even mentioning that it's not the weight thing..... but it's obviously crossed his mind!!!! Otherwise he wouldn't have said a word about your weight.....
Lastly, he's a loser..... You can do so much better. Friends don't treat each other like this. I don't think he wants to be friends.... he wants to keep you around just in case his girlfriend breaks up with him.
He dates me then tells me he has a girlfriend and then insists on being friends?
