You're all going to think I'm nuts, and I am! I am! But I'm going to stop now! Lesson learned! I'm just getting stir-crazy and feeling like my life is passing me by...that whole stupid internal clock, though this one has nothing to do with wanting a baby.
So I got on a match type website and filled out a profile, hit send...got scared and took it down! LOL! Plus, they wanted my money to contact someone or to be contacted, so what was the point since I'm not giving them money? Then I tried a second one. I had fun answering some of the questions, some of them were down right stupid and many of them were down right disgusting!
After about the 20th "what kind of sex do you like" type question I had my "Oh my goodness, what are you thinking?!" moment and shut it down.
Am I that much of a prude? Sheesh! I can not do this.
lol...maybe that wasn't the right site for you! But I will say I have two friends who have successfully met and married the love of their lives through dating sites. And I don't have that many friends. I think having to spend a bit of money might be a good thing though to hopefully weed out some people who you might not want contact from anyways!
okcupid is free. I was on it for a while, but frankly, I'm too scared if talking to guys. I didn't respond to any messages and if someone i.m.ed me, I logged off. I took it down the other week. Maybe one day I'll be ready to date, but it's not here yet.
You need to have a friend manage it for you. And you can manage hers. That way you can screen out the weirdos, have a better profile since someone else is describing you and not feel so attached to it.
If you really want to laugh and cry, get the book "Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned At Harvard Business School." You thought you were perfect and had no more potential? The "Program" will prove you wrong.
A few years ago, I joined okcupid because I was sick of not meeting new people. I was only looking for friends in my area, but I met my husband through okcupid and we are approaching our 2nd anniversary this year. Honestly, this is the most fulfilling relationship I have ever had and I believe that online dating helped us to connect because I would have probably never ran into him in 'real life'. That being said, many of my single friends are completely fed up with okcupid and their lack of quality dating material (their words, not mine!). I have heard good things about Plenty of Fish, but I have no experience with that site. I wish you lots of luck!!
Last edited by digitalrequiem; 03-12-2011 at 01:49 PM.
Okcupid is one of the two I tried! LOL! Oh, the questions were just awful!! One of them I can't even post here, it was disgusting.
I just need to get out in my community more, I think.
Okay, now I'm dying to go to Okcupid just to fill out their form and see something disgusting.
(If I do, I promise not to submit it and to tell my husband so he doesn't crap fishhooks when he walks in and sees me at a dating site.)
I don't think that online dating sites are a Bad Thing, though. I met my husband online, sorta-kinda. We both worked for AOL as remote staff, didn't even realize we were both in the same city until a mutual friend and fellow remote staffer came to NOLA to visit and met one another then. So yes, you CAN meet perfectly awesome people via the computer.
If I were single, I would do the online-dating thing in a heartbeat. How awesome to have a lot of non-starters weeded out from the beginning!
I did the online dating site. The vast majority of guys were total creeps, though I did talk to a few who seemed nice/decent just didn't really interest me. Overall, I wasn't having much success with it...
until on a whim, I messaged this guy something silly and geeky... and lo and behold, we're now in a serious relationship.
So my feelings on online dating are mixed. It's not necessarily a fun process, but the results *can* be totally worth it.
A couple of my friends had have meet some lovely guys online, one of them has just moved in with her match
I think you just have to ignore the creeps and sad sex starved men and fish out the good ones.
I think its a great idea esp if you are shy for meeting people
Good luck hope you find the right one for you xx
I met my husband online through a local newspapers dating site. I placed an ad that appeared in the paper and I also created a profile on the newspaper's online site and included a photo (from the waist up, so you got more than just a head shot. I have a bit of a pin-head compared to the rest of my body, so I didn't want anyone to get the impression from my face that I was much thinner. I was very explicit in describing myself and what I wanted in a guy.
Be picky and specific about what you're looking for, and you actually get better responses. If you sound too easy to please, you attract more of the desperate and socially inept guys.
One of the best way to weed out the pervs and horndogs, is to state in your profile that you're not interested in instant sexual relationships, that you have conservative moral values and want a relationship that develops slowly "friends first," (if that's what you want). The guys who want instant sex aren't going to waste their time.
You'll still get some guys who rush the sex talk. Some are creeps, but most just lack the social skills to distinguish between pervy and romantic. It doesn't mean you should be ok with it, it certainly was a deal-breaker for me, but I didn't worry that I had dozens of potential crazy-stalkers (though I never gave out identifying information, even my last name until after the first date, if there was to be a second date. My husband is the only guy that warranted a second date, and I actually forgot to give him my last name. We were dating two weeks before he asked for it).
My brother in law and his wife met online....we always kid it was a "dorky match" made in Heaven ...you'd have to know them....they have been married close 10 years now.
Angie and I met through a Christian newspaper personal site in '95...way before computers were invented
I met probably 15 women or so and for the most part they were who they said they were....for the most part ....
"What? I'm sure I told you I had 8 kids...didn't I?"
Good luck and be careful....always meet in a public place and...gosh with social networking these days it is so hard not to give out too much info....but don't!!
Be picky and specific about what you're looking for, and you actually get better responses. If you sound too easy to please, you attract more of the desperate and socially inept guys.
i'd just like to point out that socially-inept guys aren't bad in themselves, per se. the ones who have past their mid-20s tend to have developed unhealthy views of women, though, and are best avoided unless you meet them on a non-dating site and unless YOU can definitely be sure that all they want is your friendship.
regarding weight issue: don't be deceiving, and if possible even be upfront with it. yeah, some people are going to be jerks about it, but jerks are never worth your time and it's easier to weed them out from the start.
oh, and was the other site plentyoffish? i signed up to okcupid just for fun and i thought some of their questions were amusing.
i'd just like to point out that socially-inept guys aren't bad in themselves, per se.
Good point. I was using "socially-inept" as a euphemism for the extreme (and semi-creepy) end of the spectrum. The guys that ask you your bra-size before the first date, because they think you'll consider that flirty banter.
I actually tend to be quite attracted to men on the extreme ends of the spectrum of social-skills. I like shy, quiet, awkward guys, and outgoing, boiserous, and charismatic guys.
My husband turned out to be a weird combination of both. On the phone and in emails, he was loud, confident, funny, charismatic, and in person it was so awkward, and he was so shy and quiet (not just volume, he had nothing to say) that I suspected it was a different person (except his voice is very distinctive).
Our first dates (at least four or five) were so awkward. He'd hardly say a word, and at first, wouldn't even look at me directly in the face. I'd catch him looking at me, only when I looked away from him. A two hour date, felt like a boring, horrible eternity, but then we'd get to our own apartments when the evening as over, and one of us would call the other, and we'd spend 3 hours talking on the phone, having a great time.
It took weeks for his in-person personality, to match the online/phone personality.
It's why I always suggest friends not be too judgemental of a first date (unless there's creepy vibes going on. Trusting instincts is important with the creep factor), but shy and even "boring" guys sometimes just need some time to feel compfortable enough to be their true selves (which often isn't shy and boring).
I sincerely believe that chemistry can take time to develop. It's definitely not true that if it's not present on the first date, it never will be. In fact, I think slow-to-spark chemistry actually often burns brighter and longer.
For pity's sake...dating sites
LOL! Plus, they wanted my money to contact someone or to be contacted, so what was the point since I'm not giving them money? Then I tried a second one. I had fun answering some of the questions, some of them were down right stupid and many of them were down right disgusting!
I think having to spend a bit of money might be a good thing though to hopefully weed out some people who you might not want contact from anyways!
