Weight Loss Support - Very frustrated, down on myself




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doopdoop
02-21-2011, 12:48 PM
Having a hard time shaking the impatience that comes with trying to lose weight. So far, I'd say I've lost a pretty decent amount of weight...from 210-171. I've lost between 15-20 lbs of actual weight from calorie counting/exercise (the first half was mostly water weight that slipped off quickly).

Unfortunately, I've also become extremely body-conscious and depressed at the whole process. I eat just under 1200 calories a day (I'm short, 5'1"), cardio 3 times a week (used to do more, but honestly do not have the time for it anymore), and I'm feeling burnt out and impatient after almost 3 months.

It's gotten to the point where I am just not at all happy with how I look any more, and have become much more aware of all of my flaws. I feel as though I've put my social life and emotions on hold until I lose this weight, because nothing feels worth doing when I still feel like I have to lose at least 30 more lbs just to look half decent.

I know I'm not giving up on this dieting/exercise regimen, but I wish I knew a way to get the old me back, because I have a feeling I'm going to make myself miserable for the next 5 months while I try to drop these 30 pounds.


Izzadawn
02-21-2011, 12:59 PM
You are doing GREAT!!!

I too, Have to remind myself I did not put this on over night so I can't expect to lose it over night.

don't be so hard on yourself... Look in the mirror, there must be some attribute that you love about your body.

Weight loss is not a magic pill top make you Love yourself.

You have already taken that 1st step.... You love yourself enough to make health changes in your life.

Say NO to Doopdoop bashing :)

Lori Bell
02-21-2011, 01:15 PM
I guess I don't understand. If you were so much happier being the "old you" why did you decide to lose weight? If you felt you were a better person at 210 then why change?

On the other hand, if you are doing this for health reasons, just keep reminding yourself you are doing this for your health. Health and vanity are 2 separate things. Whatever you decide, I hope you someday just find peace with yourself.


Altari
02-21-2011, 02:01 PM
Having a hard time shaking the impatience that comes with trying to lose weight. So far, I'd say I've lost a pretty decent amount of weight...from 210-171. I've lost between 15-20 lbs of actual weight from calorie counting/exercise (the first half was mostly water weight that slipped off quickly).
Don't minimize your loss. You didn't have 20 pounds of water weight. Most people have 5 - maybe 10 - pounds of quick-loss weight from energy stores and water retention, etc. And just because that weight wasn't actual fat doesn't mean it wasn't wreaking havoc on your health and your figure. You lost it fair and square, so celebrate it!

Unfortunately, I've also become extremely body-conscious and depressed at the whole process. I eat just under 1200 calories a day (I'm short, 5'1"), cardio 3 times a week (used to do more, but honestly do not have the time for it anymore), and I'm feeling burnt out and impatient after almost 3 months.
40 pounds in 3 months is amazing, but if you're feeling burned out emotionally, you're coming dangerously close to burning out metabolically. Listen to your body. 1200 calories a day may not be enough, or you may be eating the wrong 1200 calories.

I always found it helpful to take maintenance breathers when I felt burned out. We get so caught up in losing weight we forget that we'll have to live with it. You've lost 40 pounds, almost 20% of your starting body weight! That's far more than most dieters ever lose, and extremely more than the majority manages to maintain. Take a little bit to enjoy what you've done so far and figure out how you can maintain your loss without losing your mind. Once you've learned to live in maintenance, tweak where you need to to start losing again.

It's gotten to the point where I am just not at all happy with how I look any more, and have become much more aware of all of my flaws. I feel as though I've put my social life and emotions on hold until I lose this weight, because nothing feels worth doing when I still feel like I have to lose at least 30 more lbs just to look half decent.
Common, but destructive. You start to reflect on how much fun you had before you started dieting and worrying about your weight. Do you have before pictures or before clothes so you can see how far you've come?

If your plan doesn't let you go out and have fun while you're losing, it won't let you do it when you maintain. Why do you feel like you can't have a social life? Is it the food aspect, how self-conscious you feel, a combination of the two...?

Emme
02-21-2011, 02:07 PM
Congratulations on your weight loss so far! It is good to hear that you are going to stick with your regimen even though you are not feeling so good about yourself. It is very hard to be patient ~ that is one of the hardest things I have personally had to work on for weight loss. I wish I had more words of advice, but just stick with it and try not to put your life on hold...I know you are self-conscious, and that might be easier said than done, but life is too short to let things pass you by. :)

AZ Sunrises
02-21-2011, 02:09 PM
:hug: You're probably so much more aware of your body and the changes you've made that you're focusing on the flaws. Take a look at pictures of you at your heaviest and take a current picture. Cover your face. Those 40 pounds have made a world of difference in your health and appearance.

When we shrink, we have areas we want to transform. We want to be the butterfly. We just don't always get the exact color pattern we wanted. :)

Emme
02-21-2011, 02:18 PM
When we shrink, we have areas we want to transform. We want to be the butterfly. We just don't always get the exact color pattern we wanted. :)

I like that! One of my biggest fears is getting down to my goal weight and still not being happy with how I look. Are my thighs still going to be monstrously big? Will my thighs still be jiggly? Will my stomach always have a pooch? I want to have the perfect butterfly pattern, but I have to accept what I'm given when I get to my healthy weight.

moonkissed
02-21-2011, 03:46 PM
:hug: Maybe try a new workout routine, a new dvd or class? Something to relight the spark and something that can also be fun so you enjoy doing it?

Maybe also some short term goals and rewards so that you keep yourself motivated and rewarded for the little stuff. Like if you lose 10lbs go buy something nice for yourself or get your nails done or your hair done.

I know for myself no matter how bleh I am feeling getting my nails done makes me feel so pretty :)

goodluck!

:dust:

ShanIAm
02-21-2011, 04:28 PM
Wow, can I ever relate to your post. I have lost 23 pounds since January 3rd -- working out 5x a week and counting calories. I'm around the same number of calories as you, low carb (but not Atkins level) and we are the same height. And like you, it is just NOT coming off fast enough. I am pear shaped and my hips are still big just like they were 23 pounds ago. But I just have to remember that they are less big! I have days where my glass is half empty but when I feel that way, I start rubbing my stomach where I can now feel my rib cage. That helps me stay motivated. And I have resigned myself to the fact that it will be slower than I want. Making mini goals has really helped me through that though.

You have done a lot of hard work and you are achieving your goals to losing weight. I agree that taking pictures of yourself as you progress along (ever 5 pounds lost) will be an incredible inspiration for you! You have so much to be proud of. Keep going strong girl!

kellost
02-21-2011, 04:48 PM
Hi there!

I'm also am 5'1 and my starting weight was close to yours. Being short really does stink in so many ways! I hit my goal weight this past summer of 125 (and have slowly slipped upward, but that's another story). Can you believe that even at that weight, I see pics of myself and my bottom half is just so chunky! I know it may sound crazy, but without the gift of height, you need to be at some crazy low numbers to not feel chunky. I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to maintain those sort of low numbers. Depressing right?

Here's the good news. I feel SO SO SO much better. Life is just so much better, even if I am still "chunky" and even if my weight will always be a battle. It was a lot of weight to be carrying around for a short girl. Too much! I wonder now how I got there, and why I didn't do something sooner. I was in denial. I mean, I knew I was big, believe me, because I was so unhappy. I just didn't know how unhealthy I really was.

I guess my point is, don't give up. Sure, it's hard for us short girls. I've come to kind of accept that I'm never going to be bikini material. My butt and thighs will probably always be a problem for me. I really probably won't be the 105 pounds some people our height strive for. It's okay. You can do this, and with each 10 pounds you remove, it will make a big difference. That's the positive thing I've found about being short. When you lose weight, it really shows!

Hang in there!!!!! I totally know how you feel! Wait until you hit the 150's. You won't believe the change. I know you can do it.

ShanIAm
02-21-2011, 04:55 PM
That's the positive thing I've found about being short. When you lose weight, it really shows!

THIS! It is so absolutely true. My mini goals are set at 10 pounds each for this exact reason. I'm in the shorty club too and although I'll never look great in a bathing suit, I'll never ever again look as bad as I used to.

FatPantsSkinnyJeans
02-21-2011, 05:25 PM
Hi there!

I'm also am 5'1 and my starting weight was close to yours. Being short really does stink in so many ways! I hit my goal weight this past summer of 125 (and have slowly slipped upward, but that's another story). Can you believe that even at that weight, I see pics of myself and my bottom half is just so chunky! I know it may sound crazy, but without the gift of height, you need to be at some crazy low numbers to not feel chunky. I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to maintain those sort of low numbers. Depressing right?

Here's the good news. I feel SO SO SO much better. Life is just so much better, even if I am still "chunky" and even if my weight will always be a battle. It was a lot of weight to be carrying around for a short girl. Too much! I wonder now how I got there, and why I didn't do something sooner. I was in denial. I mean, I knew I was big, believe me, because I was so unhappy. I just didn't know how unhealthy I really was.

I guess my point is, don't give up. Sure, it's hard for us short girls. I've come to kind of accept that I'm never going to be bikini material. My butt and thighs will probably always be a problem for me. I really probably won't be the 105 pounds some people our height strive for. It's okay. You can do this, and with each 10 pounds you remove, it will make a big difference. That's the positive thing I've found about being short. When you lose weight, it really shows!

Hang in there!!!!! I totally know how you feel! Wait until you hit the 150's. You won't believe the change. I know you can do it.


Thank you for sharing this! I feel like I have been trying to lose the same 10 lb forever... and like you, I know that realistically, if I want to have a good quality of life, I will never be or maintain a weight of 105 lb.

My bottom half is big, too! Ohh well... some boys like an ample derriere ;)

doopdoop
02-21-2011, 06:19 PM
Thank you all for the supportive words. It can be really hard to not tear yourself down when you're constantly re-evaluating your own appearance. I suppose I just wasn't aware of how I looked before, and since beginning the diet, I've started to realize just how far I really have to go. Regardless, I'm NOT giving up, and hopefully I make it through this emotional rough patch and can stick it out for a while until I lose a big chunk of this weight.

My final goal is 140 (still chubby for my height, but I don't have aspirations of skinniness, I don't mind being a little curvy).

Any of the other short girls out there have any input as to how your timeline went as far as weight loss? (how much per month/week/etc) Just curious so that I have an idea of what is realistic and to come.

Hart
02-21-2011, 06:52 PM
I've been there, I think it's pretty normal- some kind of post weight loss depression? Just keep getting support from people who can keep you positive! You have done great things!

ShanIAm
02-21-2011, 09:00 PM
Well, I dropped the first 10 pounds relatively fast (1st two weeks of Jan) but that was due to me severely restricting my calories after easily eating 3000 a day for a few years prior. But for the past 5 or 6 weeks it slowed down to about 1.5 to 2 pounds a week and that is with a low fat, low carb, 1350 calorie a day diet. Plus, I go to the gym 5x a week for cardio/weights. I am lucky in the sense that I live alone (my time is my own) and do not have a hubby or kids to cook for.

It took me a good month to get over the frustration of not going from 184 to 144 in a matter of days (LOL) but I'm happy at the pace I am at.

I'm telling ya... setting mini goals has been the best thing ever for me and my state of mind. I still have bad days, don't get me wrong, but they come fewer and farther between.

astrophe
02-21-2011, 09:18 PM
It's gotten to the point where I am just not at all happy with how I look any more, and have become much more aware of all of my flaws. I feel as though I've put my social life and emotions on hold until I lose this weight, because nothing feels worth doing when I still feel like I have to lose at least 30 more lbs just to look half decent.

Why on earth are you putting off your social life and not allowing yourself to feel happiness or joy or excitement or any other feelings... based on the number on the scale?

"Looking decent" is just a matter of cleaning up and dressing well! Get to it! You can do THAT at any size/age and you will probably feel a lot better.

Feeling happy? You can do that now too. Do the things you enjoy and be with the people you enjoy.

That may be part of what is making you sad now. Sure we diet and exercise and all that... but the rest of regular life goes on too.

Stop picking at yourself, stop putting yourself on the sidelines and jump back into Your Life! Yes, you have a body project thing going on, but get out and LIVE too!

Call or email a friend up right now and make some plans for the weekend! :)

GL!
A.