Weight Loss News and Current Events - Incredible Offensive Blog Post at MArie Claire




knitsforfive
10-27-2010, 10:01 AM
Have you read this?

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/overweight-couples-on-television#comments

The comments are great really.

ANy thoughts?


Breannaj1215
10-27-2010, 10:49 AM
WOW. :( thats horrible

lazylioness
10-27-2010, 10:50 AM
I just read this. And initially my reaction was to be a bit upset. But then I got past the language and paid attention to what the writer was saying, and really, I sort of have to agree. I AM a fat person, and I do not like watching fat people make out, or on the beach or whatever. Ironic huh! But the writer is also correct, in saying that being obese is essentially a choice. We have all chosen to live this way and make these bad choices, and now we are all choosing not to. Yes it is hard, yes it is not comfortable, but lets face it folks, being easy and comfortable and not making hard decisions is why we are where we are.

All that being said, I fully realize that I am probably not the "norm" when it comes to my opinion on this matter, in fact I never have the "normal" opinion about anything. LOL.

So while the article at first upset me, I was not "offended" in any way over it. It is the truth in the harsh glare of sunlight. And, it has served to kick start me out of the slump I was feeling in this week. So..yay!


amber961
10-27-2010, 11:00 AM
I love the addendum at the bottom from the author where she says "i'm really sorry if i offended you.." but not for what she said. It looks like she's trying to cover her butt for saying it. And please note that she is an anorexic and has never had an issue with being overweight because of it. THAT is the most disturbing part.

ThicknPretty
10-27-2010, 11:07 AM
Hmm...

1) Since when is depicting something "promoting" it? It's not like the characters break into song and dance about how AWESOME it is to be overweight! I'd say it's pretty realistic. Also, the characters met at an OA meeting...that indicates that they have recognized their weight issues. Doesn't sound like complacency...I doubt any of the episodes consist of the characters sitting on the couch feeding each other jelly donuts...oh, and making out, let's not forget all that disgusting making out they do.....

2) This article makes me want to watch the show. I haven't yet, but I feel the need to now. I could see where a comedy sitcom with two heavier lead characters could very easily take the "fat" jokes too far, but then, every sitcom has it's "thing".

3) With all that being said, I respect blatant honesty. This author has no tact and is rather crude, rude and cruel...but a lot of people probably think exactly the way she does and just don't have the nerve (or ignorance? lol) to admit it.

4) Television shows these days are FULL of healthy weight or thin or in a lot of cases, underweight actors and actresses. It is moving towards fair and closer to realistic to have a show like this. The real world is not full of Sarah Jessica Parkers and Calista Flockharts.

LoveRyGuy
10-27-2010, 11:11 AM
IMO I find it disgusting. People should be thin to be aesthetically pleasing to HER? gag. Obviously "super thin Hollywood" hasn't motivated America to be thin, because it isn't happening. I just think you should be a little bit more sensitive when bashing entire groups of people in a public place.

flippychick
10-27-2010, 11:20 AM
I for one, am just plain tired of looking at so many people who look the same. I got a magazine the other day and I thought the woman on the cover was three different actresses before I got to the text and saw that it was someone else. I like seeing all kinds of people - short, tall, fat, average, bald, bearded, glasses, and all kinds of ethnicities. I don't care if it's two women in a relationship or two men. But the fact that overweight people stir this kind of anger in others who may not be overweight, has got to be the symptom of a larger issue. Because honestly, unless you're sitting next to someone in a tiny airplane (and this is true of tall, muscular line-backer types too), why should someone else's size be so bothersome? I think it's a control issue and an irrational need for the comfort of conformity. The most offensive thing to me was that so many people gave this writer the time of day.

AnnieDrews
10-27-2010, 11:24 AM
Wow, that blogger is one shallow b*tch. As one of the comments noted, this should have never gotten by an editor.

kateleestar
10-27-2010, 11:26 AM
I watch Mike & Molly, because Melissa McCarthy cracks me up. (She's Jenny McCarthy's cousin!) She cracked me up as Sooki on Gilmore Girls, too. On Gilmore Girls, she was overweight (and was pregnant on it too!) and it was never brought up. She was just her best friend/business partner, and that was it. That's how it should be.

As far as the author to say it "disgusts" her to watch that, then... Maybe she shouldnt leave her house. Because, FAT PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE! Omg! Run, hide! :rofl: Ignorace is bliss, apparently.

And the fat jokes on Mike & Molly are slowly getting fewer and farther between, and they both still talk about eating less... So, points for trying. But at least the look like normal people and not 12 lb actors!


ETA: http://celebritybabies.people.com/2010/08/15/melissa-mccarthy-im-not-a-great-pregnant-woman/

liway
10-27-2010, 11:36 AM
That whole article was just wrong on soooo many levels. The "apology" at the end was almost as offensive.

For the record, I'm a huge Mike & Molly fan, so I might be a little biased. Also, I would hardly call a couple of kisses on the couch - "making out". I think they're sweet. I think the writing is hilarious - even with the fat jokes - I guess that's just me though - and I might be a little harder to offend. That said, its a TV show....if you're offended - change the channel. Simple! :)

Jelma
10-27-2010, 11:42 AM
I dislike the show she is talking about not because it is not funny and there is a constant barrage of fat "jokes." Roseanne had two overweight/obese main characters but did not make weight the central theme.

Although the writer was extremely nasty in her post, she is right - for the most part it is something you can control, that is what we are all doing on this website. But she obviously has some major personal issues with her own self image and weight and no one should have this one person's opinion determine their self worth.

NiteNicole
10-27-2010, 11:43 AM
I wonder how she felt as an anorexic when people thought they could "fix" her by telling her she looked disgustingly thin and she should just eat a little something. I mean, if it's just that easy and all, it must work both ways.

KimL1214
10-27-2010, 11:45 AM
I can't believe that this article actually made it past an editor. With that said, as angry as I was when I first read it. It makes me wonder. How many people think this about me when I used to be in public with my ex? We held hands, hugged, kissed... in public... did that gross people out? If it did, at least those people were smart enough to keep it to themselves... while this woman apparently felt it was her right to degrade all "obese" people. Her apology is pathetic, and only there to try and save her job! If you haven't read the editors stand on the article yet... read this...

http://fashionista.com/2010/10/exclusive-marie-claire-eic-joanna-coles-responds-to-controversial-fatist-blog-post/

katy trail
10-27-2010, 11:50 AM
i couldn't load the article. i hated the title. from the comments it sounds like i would've hated it. i didn't grow up over weight. i was on the higher end of the normal range. but one of my sisters and i are almost the same age. growing up i really tried to empathize. now that i'm obese myself, i understand much more. i just generally feel so much empathy for the 'fat' people. we have the same mental struggle thin or fat. so many thin women obsess about how they look, or losing weight. it's just so wrong for the skinny people to make it such a big deal, or act like fat people are a different species or something.

and i looved sooki too! i watch parenthood just for the mom from gilmore girls. oh i used to love that show. i guess it's how i wish i could be with my single parent mom.

beerab
10-27-2010, 12:04 PM
Wow- Just WOW.

I have to agree with those that say don't watch it then. I mean really- it's a sitcom I doubt they are doing anything crazy like we see in the movies.

To be honest insanely long intimate scenes with even thin people bother me cuz I'm like get to the story! lol.

Bottom line the author needs to get over herself. She's probably one of those lucky people who eats all sorts of junk and is just naturally thin. If she were in my body eating the diet she most likely does she'd probably be 300 lbs.

Btw I totally agree with this comment here:

You say, "I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it." I would say the same for being a jerk. Hopefully you'll take it to heart.

ZING!!!!

saef
10-27-2010, 12:43 PM
This woman needed to ruminate longer before writing something that a lot of people would read. That is, if she really wanted to promote a thoughtful discussion. But I suspect she & her editors did not, and all they wanted was a large number of Document Page Views showing up on the counter that monitors individual Web site visitors -- and anyone can get big numbers there by putting out something that irritates many people. I resent that they get to add me to their count because I clicked on the link.

I take this with a shaker full of salt. It's a fashion magazine, which has never been my go-to source for advice on physical or psychological health. It's primarily a source for looking at expensive advertisements of clothes, make-up & hair & skin care products & perfume -- all featuring naturally slender people. Because people can be naturally slender, apparently.

But no one is ever naturally fat. It just works one way.

Yeah, right.

LiannaKole
10-27-2010, 04:30 PM
I watch the show (and love it! The actress is hysterical!), and I'm not uncomfortable with it at all. They're just two people who really like each other. And two obese people kissing? So what? Other than their weight, neither is bad looking at all. The actress is STUNNING really.

Why should people have to stop living their lives because they're obese? That's just downright stupid. We watch people who smoke make out on TV, AND I've seen drug addicts make out on TV, AND girls with body weights low enough to categorize them as anorexic make out with someone on TV. Really, that argument in the post doesn't hold.

It's nowhere near the worst article I've read, but as I was reading I couldn't help but think, "This writer cannot ever have been obese." Usually when people say things like, 'all you have to do to be healthy and skinny is ____,' it's a safe bet they've never struggled with being far too big. Actually, I think she is/has been anorexic, so she should REALLY understand what it is to battle a food disorder.

It's also interesting the level of dehumanization the writer puts on "fat people" in general. Like she shouldn't have to witness the grossness of them being in love or dating or even existing. She basically said that if you're obese, she doesn't want to see you AT ALL, not even walking across a room.

I'm disappointed in her, though sadly not surprised. I think it's fine for her to have an opinion, but the way she went about it was probably nothing more than an attempt to gain readers or something.

Interesting, though.

stacylambert
10-27-2010, 05:14 PM
Seems kind of like a trolling article to me. I really can't believe someone would seriously post that and risk losing readers. I think she's just trying to stir up drama and get some more publicity.

kaplods
10-27-2010, 06:14 PM
The article disgusted me, so I stopped reading. It makes me wonder why the author didn't do the same (not really, stirring up debate is the obvious aim). If fat lovin' disturbs her so much, why didn't she just change the channel.

With all the horrors that are graphically depicted on tv (rapes, murders, drug use, child abuse, child abductions/rape/murder....) I think it's more disturbing that it's fat affection that disturbs her enough to inspire commentary.

pipernoswiper
10-27-2010, 06:36 PM
i love when people say "choose to be fat", now i understand! here i thought i had suffered from mental illness for all these years.....now i know it was my choice the whole time. great. thank you. i will have to let my doc know too that finding my way to 300 plus pounds TWICE isnt an eating disorder after all!
i bet who wrote the article "chose" to be an anorexic too!

mandalinn82
10-27-2010, 06:53 PM
Jen Lancaster (LOVE HER. Read her books!) wrote a counterpoint:

http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2010/10/ive-got-your-counterpoint-right-here-marie-claire.html

kaplods
10-27-2010, 06:58 PM
Awesome rebuttal!

junebug41
10-27-2010, 07:19 PM
Jen Lancaster (LOVE HER. Read her books!) wrote a counterpoint:

http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2010/10/ive-got-your-counterpoint-right-here-marie-claire.html

Ack! I came here to post just that. Love love love Ms. Lanacaster. I will buy every book of hers in hardback till the end of time. This is my solemn vow.

GreenTeaYum
10-27-2010, 07:30 PM
Oh. My. Gosh. That article is so incredibly offensive, it's unreal. I would be less surprised if it were on a personal blog or private webpage, but no- this is Marie Claire, a very prominent magazine that women all over the world read. I am shocked that this is how they choose to portray themselves.

I found this counterpoint article in the comments, I clicked it out of curiosity and found myself laughing alone at my desk. It does have some offensive language, but I highly recommend it- she sums up my feelings towards the article perfectly.
http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2010/10/ive-got-your-counterpoint-right-here-marie-claire.html

EDIT: Oh no! I didn't see the 2nd page of posts when I went to share the link. Apparently, mandalinn82 beat me to it.

chickybird
10-27-2010, 08:07 PM
As an OA member, I am livid over this crap. Not that I buy those kind of trashy magazines anyway, but still..
Thanks for showing the rebuttal!

Hyacinth
10-27-2010, 08:28 PM
I cancelled my Marie Claire subscription after reading this. I'm fat and I love to spend money on fashion and beauty, but I don't love to be insulted by people who take my money.

Speaking of which, does anybody know of a magazine that promotes all body sizes? I miss Mode magazine.

Thank those of you for calling out Jen Lancaster. I haven't read her books, but I am off to update my amazon wish list. :)

grammajiggles
10-27-2010, 08:45 PM
Personally I find the blog article offensive but then we are all about free speech ... and it was voicing somebody's own opinion whether we agree or not ! Tat little rebutle after was just to protect thier own hinny ...... Personally I think somebody that allowed that to be posted should go eat something really fattening ! Just kidding ! I love Mike and Molly and don't even see them as " obese " ... I LIKE their sense of humor and their " truths " ............................ and that is JMHO !!!!

kaplods
10-27-2010, 10:47 PM
Freedom of speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences. And exercising of free speech invites others to do the same.

I don't personally subscribe to Marie Claire, but I would have cancelled my subscription if I did. I do (or rather did) occasionally buy it on the newstand, but I doubt I'll be doing that for a while. The article, and the magazine representatives reaction to it (as described in several reports of the incident) left too bad a taste in my mouth.

kaplods
10-27-2010, 10:58 PM
... does anybody know of a magazine that promotes all body sizes? I miss Mode magazine.



I found this (looks promising, though it's online only)

http://www.plusmodelmag.com/

kaplods
10-28-2010, 01:32 AM
I have to say this blog editorial is hitting me a lot harder than it should. It just pulls me right back into the mindset of my teens and twenties - when I felt obligated to protect "decent people" from the disgusting horror of my presence.

So many of us feel we don't deserve a "real life," and definitely not a "public life," until we reach some arbitrary level of social acceptability. Some people never feel they've reached that level (and as a person who's struggled with anorexia, as she claims, Ms. Kelly should have realized this and known how hurtful such comments could be).

It's bad enough that it's still largely (no pun intended) taboo for fat people to exercise or in any way be active in public, but to label normal human affection as disgusting and off limits to us as well. It burns me up a lot more than it should.

kaplods
10-28-2010, 03:19 AM
"Counterpoint" articles have been added, entitled Free Speech: It's a Beautiful Thing and Yes, Fat People Exist: A Vote in Favor of More Diverse Bodies on TV

ThicknPretty
10-28-2010, 09:40 AM
So many of us feel we don't deserve a "real life," and definitely not a "public life," until we reach some arbitrary level of social acceptability. .


I feel this way. :( I just realized it the other day. I have these thoughts..."I can't wait to go out and dance in a hot dress when I'm skinnier...I bet I'll meet a great guy when I'm skinnier...I can't wait to allow people to take pictures of me when I'm skinnier...I'd love to go out with my friends, but I look so gross and fat...

It's like I don't want people to "view" me until I'm less disgusting to them.

AnnieDrews
10-28-2010, 12:57 PM
Here's an article discussing this event:

http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/controversy-over-fatties-sparks-apology-2404430/

Jezlyn
10-28-2010, 10:39 PM
And here's an interview about the article with the creator of "Mike & Molly" - http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/10/28/mike-molly-marie-claire-fatties-creator-mark-roberts/.

just keep swimming
10-29-2010, 01:04 AM
Another interview with the creator. He's funny. I so want to like this show, but I watched like 5 minutes and couldn't do it.

http://www.fancast.com/blogs/2010/tv-news/mike-molly-creator-angered-by-marie-claire-attack-on-fatties/

NiteNicole
10-29-2010, 01:35 PM
"Counterpoint" articles have been added, entitled Free Speech: It's a Beautiful Thing and Yes, Fat People Exist: A Vote in Favor of More Diverse Bodies on TV

Oh, she is totally allowed to say it. I won't argue otherwise. And I'm totally allowed to cancel my subscription to Marie Claire (done) and never buy it again.

Tarisaande
10-29-2010, 01:45 PM
I'm probably the only person in the world who isn't outraged by this article. I don't like it or agree with her, but I understand her opinion.

I know my point of view is unpopular and have already been accused of being "a zealot and a convert", having lost weight. Because somehow, were I still overweight, I also don't think I would have felt that way. People can post their opinion, and the author of the article did it in a very public space. Her opinion happened to be incredibly insensitive and not PC, but she was asked to write an opinion and she did. Kudos for her honesty, too bad it was the wrong place for it.

kittycat40
10-29-2010, 03:28 PM
I want to say both of the main actors on mike and molly are quite good looking. And fat. And their comments are real, as in hits the nail on the head, about struggles with weight, body image and food (well, as real as a sitcom would allow.)
It is fun and sweet and not a little predictable and dopey.

As for the blog post...bfd.....there is stupidity and hate everywhere.

beerab
10-29-2010, 06:14 PM
I think there is a difference between having an opinion and just being plain mean. Saying people should lose weight- yeah- valid opinion- saying a fat person walking across the room DISGUSTS you? That's just RUDE.

Opinion isn't free passage to be cruel. I don't mind her saying you shouldn't be overweight- but she was callous- I hope her overweight friends stop speaking to her- I know I would cut off a friendship with her. I'd always be thinking "damn so all those times she said nice things to me she was really disgusted by me?"

JayZeeJay
10-29-2010, 07:51 PM
As an aside, I didn't know until I followed the links above that the show Huge has been canceled after its 1st season. That makes me sad. Despite being aimed at teens, I liked the show and particularly Nikki Blonsky a lot. I wish there was a show like that when I was a teenager.

fattiegirl
10-29-2010, 08:26 PM
Thanks for sharing that article. My reply follows.


How sick of you!7:21:26 PMFriday, October 29, 2010
Posted by:BBWRN Report Abuse
Never gave Marie Claire a second thought until now. Maybe I've seen the magazine waiting at the checkout...what an introduction! Those two people couldn't possibly be healthy you say. Well, at 286 lbs (I've lost since then) I worked as an ICU nurse on my feet for 13 hrs a day. When high school students come to shadow me they very often struggle to keep up. Additionally, I see new nurses in their 20's struggle with the physical demands until their body adjusts. Part of my reason for overeating includes the stress of my job-watching people die everyday and the weight of responsibility where human life is concerned....digest that. My coping mechanism is what it is, I help people to a degree you would never understand and leave work everyday mentally drained. Maybe a job so frivalous as yours would afford me the opportunity to be a workout queen, huh?

Hyacinth
10-29-2010, 10:09 PM
fattiegirl, nice rebuttal!

The issue I have is that she sets up overweight people for a no-win situation. We're not supposed to be this fat, so we should exercise. But, don't exercise in front of her, because if walking across the room disgusts her, she could quite possibly explode if she saw me doing jumping jacks.

Her post wasn't well thought out or researched, and it wasn't professionally written. And it definitely wasn't the least bit sensitive. I also feel like it goes against what Marie Claire claims is their vision and mission statement.

I cancelled my subscription and let Marie Claire know exactly why: I don't pay people to insult me.

kaplods
10-29-2010, 10:36 PM
If the post had been only about fat PDA's "disturbing" her, it wouldn't have made me crumble inside. It was the implication that I am so disgusting that I can't cross a room without making people vomit or pass out from the horror.

It is the "fat dilemma," the obligation to protect the world from the disgusting sight of you. You must exercise, but by God, you must never let anyone see you do it. If you have any moment of pleasure, you're somehow stealing it from someone more deserving. You don't deserve friends or lovers, or any scrap of happiness until you lose the weight. I don't know how you're supposed to lose weight when you have (and are entitled) to no pleasures, and no support network (except maybe other fatties who must do so by yelling and cursing at you).

Most detrimental is the idea that you can shame people into losing weight. I never once found horrible treatment motivating, it just made me feel obligated to protect the world from the sight of me, and protect myself from the judgement of the outside world. Isolation does not motivate, it crushes.

As a person who claims to have had an eating disorder, she's incredibly cruel and insensitive to people who even might suffer from one themselves. The fear of being disgusting to others, should be something she's intimately familiar with (if she ever did truly suffer from anorexia). I've had friends who've had anorexia and bulimia, and I never felt an ounce of judgement from them. If anything, they felt kinship because they saw themselves as obese too (even if they clearly weren't).

There's very little you can say cruelly that you can't say neutrally (I'm not even asking for sensitivity or compassion). The article was meant to wound (I don't believe for a second that it was unintentional, you don't call someone disgusting especially jut for existing if you don't want to hurt them).

Really could you look someone in the face and say with a clear conscience, "Don't take it personally, but you disgust me. Gee, that couldn't possibly offend you?"

Her apology felt more like "I'm sorry you fat people don't realize how disgusting you are to us decent normal people?"

lazylioness
10-29-2010, 10:49 PM
I'm probably the only person in the world who isn't outraged by this article. I don't like it or agree with her, but I understand her opinion.

I know my point of view is unpopular and have already been accused of being "a zealot and a convert", having lost weight. Because somehow, were I still overweight, I also don't think I would have felt that way. People can post their opinion, and the author of the article did it in a very public space. Her opinion happened to be incredibly insensitive and not PC, but she was asked to write an opinion and she did. Kudos for her honesty, too bad it was the wrong place for it.

No you are not the only person not outraged. I was not either. I personally think that the article did exactly what it was supposed to do, get attention. You are right, she did exactly what she was supposed to do, state an opinion. Shes a BLOGGER guys, their sole purpose is to get people talking. Marie Claire has more attention now, sure a few people cancel their subscriptions, but it is not those people that they are trying to attract, it is the new people. The new readers. Some of those new readers, will come because of this article, and stay because of everything else. I can guarantee that they have more new business, than old business that canceled. You can cancel your subscription, that is not going to change a thing for their bottom line. You already paid your year. By continuing to give it attention, in some ways it is feeding the beast.

Kitsey
10-29-2010, 10:54 PM
I started to cry while reading the article and a few of the comments. It's someone actually coming out and saying what I've always feared people were thinking about me. I've been feeling worse and worse about myself lately when I'm out in public. I never feel like anyone will accept me anywhere.

Jelbelle
10-30-2010, 01:29 AM
You can cancel your subscription, that is not going to change a thing for their bottom line. You already paid your year. By continuing to give it attention, in some ways it is feeding the beast.

No, I don't think that's entirely true. I have never had a subscription of Marie Claire, I never intended to, and I don't think I'm the only one. I think I can safely say that there are quite a few people who have read that article who don't have subscriptions to cancel, just because they don't agree with it. The only reason I knew about it was because of this thread, so naturally I will share it with everyone I know, people who likewise don't have subscriptions... I think we get the idea.

Whether or not Marie Claire goes down or up in sales due to this, isn't really the point. What it boils down to is a question of "Is bad attention better than no attention?" and I don't think that question can be answered by any of us. Even if this controversy attracts attention, it's poor attention. Personally, I don't think the idea of "feeding the beast" really applies here.

sacha
10-30-2010, 05:07 PM
Update: Protesters!

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/10/30/anti-marie-claire-protestors-stage-a-kiss-in-at-hearst-building-denounce-fatties-blog-post/

fivestone
10-30-2010, 05:50 PM
I wasn't outraged, either. She stated her (understandable) opinion. I remember feeling too fat to go out and do certain things, and I wondered what people thought about me eating certain things when I was a certain size, but, guess what? I was unhealthy. I was engaging in self-destructive behaviour, and I hate to see anyone doing the same, whether its with food, weight, smoking, etc.

I also understand her apology. She was stating her opinion -- not calling names, not saying that obese people are a plague and deserve to die, etc. She made some very valid points. People were offended, in a way that she didn't expect them to, and she apologised. Maybe I'm dense, but I really don't understand why the article was so offensive. I'm not saying I agree with everything she said, but I think she made some valid points.

I'm also going to throw in something personal. People didn't seem to have a problem saying to my face how disgusting they thought I was when I was visibly too thin. When I was obese, maybe they thought the same thing but didn't say it, because it wasn't PC. Why is it OK to slam people for being too thin, but obesity is the thing everyone's supposed to gloss over and not kick up a fuss about? I don't understand that mentality. No, a person shouldn't be judged by their size, and people of any size should feel free to get out and do whatever they want to do! But what's so wrong about recognising the unhealthiness of both extremes of the weight spectrum?

I've heard people on this site (and even on this thread) saying that they hate seeing cookie-cutter slim people of all the same size in magazines. Maybe they feel the same way about seeing the morbidly obese on a day to day basis. Why is one viewpoint more valid than the other?

pipernoswiper
10-30-2010, 09:51 PM
you know.......some people, just do not now, nor will they ever, "get it".

~SIGH~

i have read and reread this stuff, and for me, i'm done letting this load of :censored: "&%^" take up anymore space in my head. :dz: i am officially bored with Miss Maura Kelly!

PaulaM
10-31-2010, 12:48 AM
I left this comment on their website:

Marie Clare, like virtually all women's magazines, gets women to buy their magazines by putting a pretty young woman on the cover. They have enticing statements like "how to lose ten pounds in two weeks!", "the perfect outfit for Fall!"; and "sex secrets he wishes you knew!" Every issue is the same exact thing, they try to convince you if only you would buy the advertised products and clothes, your life too would be just perfect!

What they really do is try and make women feel they are never quite good enough. I'm not surprised Maura Kelly had an eating disorder. I'm only surprised that more women don't have one. Yes, she is entitled to voice her opinion showing her hatred for fat people, but change fat to handicapped or mentally challenged, and see how quickly her opinions would have been quashed. Calling people out on being overweight is one of the last non-PC things you can still do in 2010. Her hatred of others is rather sad, she certainly isn't someone I'd care to know.

kaplods
10-31-2010, 01:33 AM
Even changing the word to anorexic, would have been just as bad. Not every overweight person has an eating disorder (unless you consider obesity itself an eating disorder, which many people do), but a large number do - and I'm sure the author had just as much and just as little control over her anorexic thoughts and behavior. And it would be just as stupid and cruel to offer anorexic people the same level of oversimplistic advice "Just eat a sandwich..."

Disgusting is a powerful word to use. The author has the right to hate anyone she chooses, and to be disgusted by anyone she chooses, but it's horrific to have it supported by a national magazine (even if it is fashion and fluff).

I also have a very hard time believing the author battled an eating disorder (sounds more like she was trying to grasp at a plausible excuse that would mitigate her responsibility). If she had ever truly been bulimic or anorexic, she would have understood how horrific it is to feel as though people are secretly disgusted by your less-than-perfect body.

The post had a very powerful effect on me, and took me back to a place I didn't think I would ever visit again (hating myself for the unspeakable crime of existence).

I re-experienced the overwhelming paranoia that everyone who saw me were secretly disgusted, and could barely keep from vomitting at the sight of me.
It wasn't a good place to be 25 years ago, and it wasn't a good place to visit the last couple days.

I almost didn't go to a Halloween party tonight, because I'd let the post get too deep under my skin. I was afraid of facing possible disapproval and disgust of strangers (or worse friends).

I did go, and I'm so glad I did. I got a lot of compliments on my costume from friends AND strangers. I had a good time, and no one vomitted, not even when my fat husband and I held hands and kissed.

RoseRodent
10-31-2010, 03:36 AM
I just don't understand (actually I do, but will come to that later) why being overweight is always just gross fatty-ness that all you have to do to change is change, yet anorexia is treated as a compulsion, a mental health disorder, you need to be free of the disorder before the weight will come back on.

This society correlates thin-ness with goodness, and more importantly anorexia is about having lots and lots of control so nobody can claim you are an out of control person with no morals or self-control, you have lots of self-control, which is a quality lauded as practically heavenly.

Yes, if you eat less and move more you will always lose weight, but the ability to do so is affected by so many things, and until you are ready to really, really change, to front up and say I can actually never, never again have what I had before and for the rest of my life I have to eat sensibly then the weight comes back on. Morbid obesity is a disorder of mental health too, and you succeed when you have all the pieces of the puzzle in place.

People act like they are morally superior if they resist a chocolate cake and you eat some. But there is no superiority in the fact they genuinely don't desire it and you crave it, they don't have more self-control, they just have less desire so less need to exercise that self-control. People who pride themselves in their resistance of a cake and then go and have a smoke really draw my displeasure. People have to remind themselves that if they are naturally slim they simply have a different mindset. There is no moral superiority in me not being having cigarettes, heroin, cocaine, alcohol, I just have no desire for them, I haven't resisted my cravings through excellent self-control, I just don't want any. It is a whole other level of control and self-change for someone who is an addict of those substances to pass them up, and the same for me to pass up chocolate when it's in front of my face. Those people who are obesity survivors are in a whole other place because they have had to get up every day and work at being slim, and those are the people who draw my congratulations at managing it, but if you don't want any then you aren't full of moral character not to eat any!

How someone who has been through an eating disorder and eating disorder recovery can still come and spout out this kind of remark that "all you have to do" is eat a certain way - that's all she had to do when she was underweight too!

Jelbelle
10-31-2010, 03:39 AM
I also have a very hard time believing the author battled an eating disorder (sounds more like she was trying to grasp at a plausible excuse that would mitigate her responsibility). If she had ever truly been bulimic or anorexic, she would have understood how horrific it is to feel as though people are secretly disgusted by your less-than-perfect body.



+1

Yes. This. Right here.

It isn't a black or white thing.

Just because she made "valid points" doesn't make what she said less offensive. That's implying that her umbrella statements housed every single person classed as overweight. Just because you are overweight doesn't mean you are unhealthy, and just because you are thin doesn't mean you are healthy.

It's not that I don't disagree with her that a good amount of willpower plays into weightloss, but it's not the only thing. That's not what angered me about the article. What angered me was the fact that she had the nerve to say a certain type of people should not be able to show affection. To me that is absolutely disgusting. A human being, no matter if they are thin, overweight, short, tall, black, white, their IQ number, their eye color, should be able to express their feelings in public.

Love doesn't have to be aesthetically pleasing. How about she puts that in her damn blog.

sacha
10-31-2010, 11:14 AM
A lot of anorexics justify their unhealthy behaviours by showing hatred towards people who are overweight. "I must be thin, because fat is disgusting".

Hyacinth
10-31-2010, 05:17 PM
I've heard people on this site (and even on this thread) saying that they hate seeing cookie-cutter slim people of all the same size in magazines. Maybe they feel the same way about seeing the morbidly obese on a day to day basis. Why is one viewpoint more valid than the other?

My issue with the cookie-cutter phenomena is partially about weight, but it was also about size in general. I am 5'11", large boned, and wear a women's size 12 shoe. Even when at my ideal weight, my sizes are often excluded from what's advertised in the typical fashion magazine. Most of the shoes sold in this magazine (and created by top designers) stop at a size 10 or 11. I would just like to see magazines that represent products that a broader section of the female population can buy, wear and look good in.

messycrayola
11-01-2010, 01:18 AM
Isn't Maura Kelly the blogger who recently wrote a sensationalist 'expose' article on health bloggers? Which completely misrepresented their attitudes to eating and exercise, making them appear as if they were nothing more than a fertile breeding ground for 'thinspiration'?

I think its simply her desire to make waves, the only way she can, crudely with an enormous splash of hyperbole!

Also..many of the supportive comments sound as if they are the work of internet trolls, especially, the one that states "all women should be 95lbs or less, regardless of height" :lol: I mean thats just too damn ridiculous to be taken seriously.

Onederchic
11-01-2010, 05:45 PM
I read it. The blog author's comments are rude and tacky and unnecessary to me but so are all the mean comments from repliers about the author's looks.

fitkristi
11-01-2010, 06:04 PM
If someone obese walking across the room grosses her out, I'd hate for her to see me do Zumba.

My problem with this article is that teenage girls (LOTS of girls) read Marie Claire. You aren't just offending a bunch of adults, but you're possibly REALLY screwing up a bunch of already insecure overweight teens.

KathleanAgain
11-09-2010, 11:42 PM
Weight is big problem in our country. Too many are overweight, but there's plenty of people, especially young women, who are underweight. Neither is good, neither is healthy. I think Maura Kelly still has a lot of issues stemming from her battle with anorexia. The original purpose of her blog was to highlight her search for a boyfriend. Maybe seeing to overweight people making out bothers her on more than one level, maybe seeing that fat people can be loved bugs her.

I happen to be obese and I'm married to a thin can't-gain-weight man. It's a bit like the Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater poem.

I'm sad for Ms. Kelly, but Marie Claire asked for the blog, and have garnered tons of hits on their site due to the controversy. Perhaps some day, Ms. Kelly will learn to love herself more, and then learn to accept others the way they are without getting grossed out.

Hyacinth
11-09-2010, 11:49 PM
Maybe seeing to overweight people making out bothers her on more than one level, maybe seeing that fat people can be loved bugs her.

Great insight! There's probably truth to that.

ParadiseFalls
11-10-2010, 12:20 PM
Hmm ... It makes me sad to read that, but I'm not offended just embarrassed. She talks about how it disgusts her to even see a fat person walking around a room, and that kind of hit home I always feel like my life has to be one giant apology for existing, and apparently it does.

I actually think the way she wrote about it was pretty fair. I guess my feeling is that, like a couple of others said, I'm fat by choice (well, laziness), it isn't healthy, and it isn't attractive. So why should other people pretend they aren't disgusted? I almost think if fat people weren't so coddled maybe we would be more likely to get our butts in shape earlier.

But I understand all of that ^ could just be the self-loathing talking. :shrug:

Aislin
11-15-2010, 02:46 PM
The author of this article is a bigot. simple as that. (she KNOWS some fat people???) I mean really, if she had inserted (ethnic background here) she would've been astrocized by her comments and would it never have gotten past the editors desk.

In today's society fat people are the last acceptable group of people it is actually okay to put down and condemn for how they look.

But I understand all of that ^ could just be the self-loathing talking.


Paradisefalls...I would have to say it is.

I am fat...that does not give ANYONE the right to try and shame me into something I am not. I choose to lose weight because I want to be healthy..my self esteem is just fine. I don't think anyone has the right to post an article like this as the only point that I can see to it is that the author is being deliberatly cruel and predjudiced towards a group of people. Many overweight people would not CHOOSE to be overweight but sometimes mental health/environment or medical health directly affects a person's weight. Sometimes we just weren't taught how to be healthy ...who knows but it does not give anyone the right to talk with such disgust and desrepect towards a group of people they do not know.

Serval87
01-19-2011, 07:59 AM
Oh, what profound "advice" she gave. I just love her simplified suggestions (sarcasm), but not every situation can be "fixed" so easily. You can't just slap a band-aid over it, and say you're done. *rolls eyes*

What about when she was struggling with anorexia? (If she even was) I wonder how many times she had to explain herself when people would tell her to "just eat something", that it's easy to fix, that it's completely a choice. You'd think she would have more decency than that, because of her anorexia, that she'd tread a little softer.

And let's not forget that oh-so-moving apology, how she had to make sure we didn't forget that she likes to see women of all sizes on Television and in magazines ... just not the morbidly obese.

LeanLisa
01-19-2011, 08:36 AM
I have to input on this....Like Mike & Molly, my finance and I are both overweight. We are always holding hands, kissing, and hugging each other out in public (not in a "making out" situation, just a few pecks and a nice hug :) Do we gross people out? If so, CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!! Hopefully you will run into a pole and knock some sense into you. Love between two people, no matter what their size, is sweet! When did sweet become gross???

Serval87
01-19-2011, 09:04 AM
She's just jealous, because she deems the stick-thin models, actresses, and herself higher than us lowly overweight people, and feels that only they and herself are entitled to romance.

stacygee
01-19-2011, 06:01 PM
Do you think that person gets paid for spouting off all that crap... and then thinks it is made better with a "sincere" italicized apology. Made me cringe and feel sick at my stomach and I will never purchase a Marie Claire.

aasshhlleeyy
01-21-2011, 01:52 PM
I think that was the most rediculous thing I have ever read... it disgusts her to see a fat person walk across the room?!?!?!?!? wow I dont even really know what to say... hmm us that are overweight should just give up and not be seen in public because of people like her.... Ha no way. She is a horribly sahllow person.

Wysteria
01-21-2011, 03:24 PM
Harsh, but I think she has some good things to say, like this:

But ... I think obesity is something that most people have a ton of control over. It's something they can change, if only they put their minds to it.

It's so true, and as I'm surrounded at work by overweight people who continually make excuses for why they can't lose weight, it's a valid point.

Yeah, what she said was mean, but that's her opinion. She shouldn't have had to apologise for voicing her views. Free speech, and all that.

And to be frank, no programmes or magazines should promote obesity, as one of the commenters mentioned. That's why all the models and most of the actresses are slim. Beauty is health, to quote Tyra Banks, and being obese is NOT healthy. Nor is super-skinny either, but anyone who knows anything about the fashion industry knows that most designers won't use anorexic models.

I had a point but I lost it :/ Sorry xD

katkitten
01-21-2011, 04:43 PM
haha! i love how in her apology she says "I would like to reiterate that I think it's great to have people of all shapes and healthy sizes represented in magazines (as, it bears mentioning here, they are in Marie Claire) and on TV shows and that in my post, I was talking about a TV show that features people who are not simply a little overweight, but appear to be morbidly obese. (Morbid obesity is defined as 100 percent more than their ideal weight.) " Like we should totally ignore people of that size in the media and pretend they don't exist or something?

reptogirl
03-11-2011, 01:31 PM
im just going to laugh at this...actually makes me wanna grab a fat boy, go to her work or outside her home strip down to our undies and rub our fat rolls together.

if she doesn't like looking at fat people,well i guess she needs to pick her eyes out..more overweight people out there than not...

iHeartU
03-12-2011, 07:43 AM
You know, I've pretty much given up hope that people of all sizes will be accepted. I mean, ****, there are places hat still have RACIAL tension. I mean, you'd think that in 2011 THAT wouldn't exist but, alas, it does. Yes she was insensitive but I have had an eating disorder and it does warp the mind quite a bit. So I figure just forgive and forget. That does not mean, however, that I will be buying Marie Claire. I hate that magazine anyway.

jilly6
03-12-2011, 09:16 AM
im just going to laugh at this...actually makes me wanna grab a fat boy, go to her work or outside her home strip down to our undies and rub our fat rolls together.



ha! I like how you think!

Hyacinth
03-12-2011, 09:58 AM
im just going to laugh at this...actually makes me wanna grab a fat boy, go to her work or outside her home strip down to our undies and rub our fat rolls together.

Actually, something similar happened ...

http://stacybias.net/2010/10/big-fat-kiss-in-tomorrow-in-nyc-in-response-to-marie-claire-article/

jilly6
03-12-2011, 10:12 AM
oh, that is great!

fatferretfanatic
03-12-2011, 10:52 AM
The big thing that bothers me about this blog is that this woman is basically saying that to be worthy of affection, you must be the right size. Love isn't a roller coaster ride with a sign posted, "Must be this weight or down to ride". Everyone everywhere deserves love, wants love, and desires love. There's nothing wrong with two people sharing their love on TV, and definitely not for plus sized. Plus, they're doing something constructive and healthy, which is going to an OA meeting! Many people meet in bars. Nothing is wrong with that, but which one seems more conducive to health? In any case, this woman needs to get her head on straight. Most of my life, I have felt, as Paradise Falls has said, "my life has to be one giant apology for existing". Well, no more, and nobody else should answer to a society filled with people like her.

Smashley
03-13-2011, 01:23 PM
The writer of that article isn't sorry for anything, she's sorry that there was such a response and people found her to be insensitive and ignorant. Shame on her!

Bunti
03-13-2011, 04:59 PM
This woman (the blog author) has a history of anorexia. Weight is a huge issue for her. Controlling weight is a huge issue for her.

As my mom used to say, consider the source.

4star
03-14-2011, 12:48 PM
Yeah, I think the author may have some personal issues to sort out.

fiddler
03-25-2011, 04:30 PM
In spite of her assertion to the contrary, she IS a size-ist jerk. If she weren't, she would also be complaining about how television implicitly promotes murder, rape, adultery, and a whole slew of other things that are much more harmful to society than obesity. She is picking on fat people because, unfortunately, they're one of the last groups in society that it's "OK" to hate.

Not all people are physically attractive, whether it's because they're obese, or elderly, or just weren't fortunate enough to be born with attractive features. (I suppose she thinks those people shouldn't have intimate relationships either.)

Get over it. There are more important things in life than how someone looks.