100 lb. Club - Single ladies question
09-18-2010, 10:46 AM
I am not sure if this is the best place for this but I am curious how you ladies handle dating. I got out of a long term serious relationship 6 months ago and am just now starting to dip my toes in the dating pool. I guess I am just not sure how much to mention about my weight loss to guys. I mean I consider it a pretty personal thing and I don't like to talk about it much in general. But at the same time its a big part of my life right now you know...
Plus I feel like it would be weird if I never mentioned it and then some day the guy saw a picture of me at my heaviest and I was like oh yeah I lost 70 pounds and I am trying to lose another 60. Girls drive me nuts though when they talk abut their weight all the time, makes me feel like they are fishing for compliments.
So for anyone who is or was dating during their weightloss, how did you handle it??
09-18-2010, 10:58 AM
If you're just dating, but not really interested in a relationship with him, he doesn't need to know. :) The most that needs to be said if he suggests a grease-fest restaurant for a meal is that you've been trying to eat healthier lately and make an alternate suggestion (that still has the disgusting stuff he wants).
Most men you date are just that--a few dates. There's no reason for it to be mentioned to them at all. If things get more serious, then you discuss how important your current lifestyle is to you and why.
09-18-2010, 11:48 AM
I agree with AZ sunrises...it's really not relevant unless you get into a relationship with them. And even then, it's your choice to share or not to share.
No one in my life knows that I'm trying to lose weight. Not a single person (well, other than my therapist!). So I don't know that I'd tell a man, even if things got serious.
09-18-2010, 01:47 PM
I started dating when I was about 50 lbs down. That relationship ended after 5 months and recently I've started the online dating thing. Have only done face-to-face with one guy through that and only saw him 5 times before he moved on, so I'm no dating expert.
I didn't plan on saying anything about the weight loss but once I did tell, the fella seemed to become very self conscious about his weight. I don't plan on mentioning it with the guy(s) I'm chatting with now.
09-18-2010, 04:09 PM
I think if you decide to get serious with someone then definitely let him know. Thats a HUGE part of your life and you can't just erase it or keep it from the person who could potentially be getting really serious with, ie marriage, kids...
BUT if it isn't serious then they have really no reason to know. If they find out then oh well. You'll know by his reaction whether you'll want to continue with them. Most people would see an accomplishment like that as encouragable, not disgusting.
Anyway, good luck to you in the dating world. I've given up on men for now. I can't trust them during my fragile, insecure "God when is this weight gonna come off" state so I am putting them off for awhile. If I meet someone, it won't be because I'm looking. Then again, I'm a big believer in fate.
09-18-2010, 11:00 PM
Funny you should mention this...I am going through the same thing right now. I am doing online dating and I have been chatting with a man and we have had 1 date and the second is tomorrow. I have been wondering the same thing. Do I say something, or do I wait? I really like this guy and was thinking of saying something...if the situation came up. I guess the best we can do is see if working out comes up in the conversation and go from there.
I had a few dates with another man and we started talking about working out and lifting weights. When I mentioned that I lift he kind of looked at me like, "Really - I never would have guessed." I kind of made a joke out of it and said, "I know it's hard to tell, but you should have seen me 40 pounds ago. LOL" he was impressed and asked a few questions about it and then it dropped. So far I have had good experiences with talking about it - well at least one. LOL
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