100 lb. Club - A Vent About Shopping (warning, long!)




Elladorine
10-27-2009, 03:06 AM
You know, I've been feeling really good lately. I hit my third 10% goal, gone down another tier with my BMI, and have lost a total of 100 pounds altogether all in the past month. I've bought a few new clothes and feel pretty good with them. Even bought a new purse and I'm wearing the boots I used to feel a little awkward in. I walked around the mall with confidence today.

I've also just gotten my own car, which has been a big help with me conquering my agoraphobia and regaining my independence. I've been taking baby steps with exploring the area. I attended my first TOPS meeting last week and toured two of the local YMCA's today, a really big deal for me to go all by myself. I'm finally getting off my duff with the whole exercise thing and plan on doing lap swimming. It used to be my absolute favorite exercise and I'm pretty excited about getting my Y membership!

I've also realized that now that I'll be swimming again, I'm going to need a new swimsuit. The one I have now will still do fine for lap swimming, but I'd also really like to take the water aerobics class, which will be included with my membership. The problem there is that my suit has a skirt, and will ride up over my exposed stomach if I stand in the water to exercise. I'm so not comfortable with that, lol. I know it's not really a good time of year to be looking for a new suit, but I had luck at the same time of year at Macy's when I was visiting Palm Springs a couple of years ago. Since I'm in Vegas and it's warm nearly year round, I thought I might have luck at Macy's here too. So as I was feeling all confident while strolling through the mall, my first stop was Macy's. I browsed through the clothes, realized there was no plus sized section, and looked at the directory. Ah, so they were on another floor . . .

I go to the next floor up and take a look around. No signs of swim suits with the rest of the clothes, so I asked if they still happened to have any. The lady got all indignant with me. Not only was it the wrong time of year, she informed me that they don't carry plus sized suits at all. She added I could look through the clearance section of the lower floor but I wouldn't be fitting in anything there.

. . .

I didn't let it get to me, at least not at first. I went around to a few other stores but didn't do any more asking. When my boyfriend called a little later, the subject got brought up and I started crying.

It's not so much that she seemed a bit rude to me, although I can't imagine it helped. I know I've made a lot of progress on this weight loss journey, but I'm still only halfway there. It gets so frustrating at times to know that I'm *still* stuck in plus sizes, that I'm still stuck at places like Lane Bryant and Torrid and the hidden sections of "regular" stores that treat the bigger sizes like an embarrassment. It's even worse to hear that they don't even bother to carry plus sized suits anymore (although I realize that's pretty typical of a lot of stores).

It makes me feel like a second-class citizen or something. I've worked so hard especially on these last 25 pounds to only go down one size (from a 24 to a 22). But to look on the bright side, at my highest weight I couldn't even fit into what most plus-sized stores carry. So yeah, I'm definitely making progress. My eating habits are so much better, I'm on my way to being more active again, I'm feeling better overall and am much happier than I used to be. But I still have the occasional bad day. I guess we all do.

I'm afraid I'll probably have to resort to buying a suit online, and I'm a little scared of not being able to try on stuff first, even if there's an ample return policy. It's really important to me to feel comfortable in whatever I end up with. I know I'll figure something out regardless, I'm just feeling a little intimidated at the moment.

Anyway, I'm not trying to start a pity-party or anything here. I'm dusting myself off like I've been doing over and over these past few months, taking things one step at a time. I'm actually feeling a lot better than I was earlier; I talked to a store manager in another part of the mall that may be offering me a job! I haven't been able to work in a while and it's a really fun position I had years ago so I think it will really be good for me.

But yeah, feeling better now. Venting over. ;)


Hamoco350
10-27-2009, 03:17 AM
Gah, I HATE shopping at a 24/26!!

I went to Old Navy over the summer, and couldn't find the plus size section. The entire store was in the process of being re-organized, and nothing was where it normally was. So I asked a sales clerk where the larger sizes were. She gave me a long, almost malicious look up and down before snapping "We only carry up to a 24 here"

I can't even believe people ACT like that. I just stood there and stared at her. I can wear some 24's so I felt like a total outcast from society in that moment.

Suezeeque
10-27-2009, 04:04 AM
Let's put it this way: this was a SALES CLERK. Who gives a crap what she thinks? Listen things have really changed. At least you weren't made to feel like all that you could wear was a gunny sack. When I was a senior in high school (back in the stone age), I went to San Francisco to find a prom dress on my own. They didn't even make plus sized clothes then except tent dresses. So, not much luck. In one store she told me they only carried up to size 12 while she looked me up and down maliciously. In the last store I found a size 15 dress I was able to fit into. I weighed 140lb at this point. I was fat compared to my contemporaries, who mostly weighed 120lbs. My mother did a good job on me a couple of times when I was trying to find clothes and nothing would fit. Anyway, don't let anyone, and I mean anyone, esp someone who cannot imagine how hard you have worked and how much you have overcome, ever put you down. Beeach. I used to think, well at least I can lose weight; with you, ugly is forever. ha. And it made me feel better. SO, onward and upward! (urr, or downward).:carrot:


VernDern
10-27-2009, 04:13 AM
She has absolutely no right to judge so quickly...and she's glad it wasnt me because I would've went totally off on the snoot. That got my blood boiling!!!! lol She wouldve heard my life story and a peice of my mind all in one big long breath.

Its great that you're over it now and didnt let it totally get to you!
Youre doing SO AMAZING and are such an inspiration! Stay strong! Im sure you'll find a great bathing suit!

Oh, I did water aerobics a few years ago with a skirt btw! I just tucked it into my bottoms after I got in the pool and then untucked it before I got out and it didnt bother me! Just an idea! =)

ThickAZChick
10-27-2009, 05:01 AM
First off, MAJOR CONGRATULATIONS! You have achieved something I dream about! Don't let some idiot's judgements get you down, I know- easier said than done but you seriously ROCK!

I live in AZ and for the past 3yrs have ONLY bought from this site. Not only am I able to find a TON of cute suits, they are also affordable.

Here are a few that I am eyeing:)

http://www.onestopplus.com/clothing/Colorcharged-plussize-swimsuit-by-Inches-Off.aspx?PfId=18166&DeptId=20419&ProductTypeId=1

http://www.onestopplus.com/clothing/The-ultimate-plus-size-swimsuit-is-a-perfect-tank-style-by-Swim365.aspx?PfId=95566&DeptId=20419&ProductTypeId=1

p/s- cute coverups. Like I said I have ordered from them for the past 3 years! hth

TJFitnessDiva
10-27-2009, 08:48 AM
I know I've made a lot of progress on this weight loss journey, but I'm still only halfway there.

OMG go back and read what I put in bold ;) Things may have bummed you out at your recent shopping trip but seriously it's just a drop in a bucket of a way bigger thing going on.

Forget the pissy sales clerk, forget the off season swimsuit shopping (when I lived in Tampa, FL I thought it was funny that it would be September, still hot enough for swimming yet they sold heavy winter coats. Heck Christmas would be short, tank top and flip flop weather :lol:)....if you don't have a specialty swim suit store near you then you may have to bite the bullet and buy online. A PIA but you will be more apt to find what you are looking for this time of year.

chickybird
10-27-2009, 09:11 AM
Go back to the store and complain about that clerk!!! She had NO right to treat you like that!
And AWESOME job for losing so much weight--you look gorgeous!

Judy Lynn
10-27-2009, 09:32 AM
Sirenity, :hug:. Some people are just rude, unfeeling jerks. you are well on your way to shopping in the regular stores, just hang in there.

Try the Lane Bryant Outlet store in the Outlet Mall on the far south end of the Strip. I am pretty sure I have seen swimsuits there at various times of the year. Or just call them first and ask.

HeaterAS
10-27-2009, 10:01 AM
Oh boy oh boy. I would have gone to that ladies manager soooo fast! There is NO excuse for that kind of behavoir. None whatsoever.
Luckily I've never had an experience like this, and I'm so sorry that you did. You've come so far and your success deserves to be celebrated!

lambchop
10-27-2009, 10:54 AM
WOw, what a rude clerk. If she was my employee - I'd be horrified to know she treated my customers that way....shame, such a shame she doesn't have to wear a big bright badge that says "I'M RUDE" so that you'd have known before you simply asked a question.

You're making changes that are wonderful. Don't let anybody or anything take that away from you.

natamars
10-27-2009, 11:22 AM
Sirenity, I hadn't read any of your posts before but this one caught my eye. Go back and re-read everything you wrote down that you have accomplished recently. You are AMAZING! You are changing your whole life. Please run with that and celebrate. Please keep posting about all your progress - I am so happy for you.:D

RN BSN 2009
10-27-2009, 11:34 AM
ONLY halfway there?

HALFWAY has been a long way!!

I would've complained the supervisor... I'd have asked her if she likes her job... and would have told her her job is at risk.

platformnine
10-27-2009, 11:44 AM
WOAH. Please do as others have suggested and go find her manager, or someone higher up - that is NOT how Macy's wants to be represented! Trust me, you can definitely get her fired or suspended or seriously reprimanded - her job is to help you and make you feel good about yourself whether you're a size 00 or a size 28! Don't let her win :<

bcort
10-27-2009, 12:26 PM
I've had that happen before - I was so surprised I didn't say anything either! But, I realized that while she was completely rude, she was correct in that the store didn't carry bras "that big." Times like that, a letter to the manager/headquarters of the store is entirely appropriate to let them know that we don't appreciate their oversight of us, their plus-sized customers (who could be spending a lot of money there, as we lose the weight & have to buy new, smaller clothes :-) )

Don't let her get you down - you've come a long way & are doing a fantastic & inspiring job getting where you are. You'll make it the rest of the way. And while it may be "only halfway" now, in a few days or weeks, it will be "more than halfway," and doesn't that sound great!

I bought a great swimsuit online through Junonia. I actually bought it on eBay for much cheaper than through the website, but I was pleased with it - & we're talking swim suit here, so it really was good!

Good luck with water aerobics!

starfishkitty
10-27-2009, 12:35 PM
Seriously, the witch needs a serious lesson in manners.

There's a saying that says you should always smile because you never know who's life you're going to save...... now if only those people would remember that.

Blah.

WhitePicketFences
10-27-2009, 12:39 PM
Sorry you have to deal with this, Sirenity :-(

I can tell the sales clerk was just a rude/self-involved person in general -- well, excuse you for not buying a bathing suit according to her retail seasons! I mean, really!

I know this made you feel like you've worked so hard, and yet aren't "there" yet. It feels unfair.

But you have had incredible success already, it is paying off and this BS will only make it a sweeter victory when you do lose even more. Stay strong.

cfmama
10-27-2009, 01:42 PM
You know what? You are HALFWAY THERE! You are SO FREAKING CLOSE to when life gets a WHOLE LOT BETTER! When I went from 260 to 230... I dropped like two sizes. Everything got easier. Shopping was a blast!!! you are SO CLOSE. Don't let that cow bother you... just don't.

BIG HUGS

FitGirlyGirl
10-27-2009, 01:44 PM
I am sorry this happened to you. She is lucky it wasn't mean I would have chewed her up one side and down the other. She's also lucky I'm not her boss. You should consider a call to the manager.

catherinef
10-27-2009, 01:49 PM
You know what? You are HALFWAY THERE! You are SO FREAKING CLOSE to when life gets a WHOLE LOT BETTER! When I went from 260 to 230... I dropped like two sizes. Everything got easier. Shopping was a blast!!! you are SO CLOSE. Don't let that cow bother you... just don't.

BIG HUGS

Exactly what she said. 260 or so was the single most frustrating time for me, when it came to shopping, and yes, I dropped about two sizes between then and now. Chin up, you will get there!

thistoo
10-27-2009, 01:55 PM
I know you don't want to resort to online purchasing, but in the past I've had great luck with Land's End suits. Their stuff is mostly on clearance right now (I just bought a new suit myself) and they do have plus sizes up to 26, though you have to hunt for them. Good luck! Sorry that sales girl made you feel lousy. I think we have all been there.

CLCSC145
10-27-2009, 03:04 PM
I'll second what Caroline said about Lands End suits. They have a huge selection in a wide range of sizes and styles.

I've been feeling that "not where I started, but not near where I'm headed" feeling for a while now and I know how much it sucks! You know you have every right to sing your successes from the rooftops, but strangers only see the fat person in front of them, not the person who is 100 pounds lighter than they were. I know it'll get better, it's just a patience and perseverance game.

So hang in there! You are doing so well! And karma will take care of people like that salesperson... :devil:

justaloozer
10-27-2009, 05:08 PM
Sorry the sales clerk was so rude. You have done an AMAZING job and you are almost 1/2 way there! Don't let anyone bring you down!!! :hug:

StellarGirl
10-27-2009, 07:19 PM
don't feel badly...people that have never been in the place where we are just don't get it. I'm sure she didn't mean to make you feel as bad as you do...even though you have EVERY right to feel that way. We're in about the same place, so I can totally understand the frustration...but you are an inspiration! Look at how amazing you are! Hang in there...I know I'm looking forward to another 50lbs or so when I can shop in "normal" clothes. You can do it!

misskimothy
10-27-2009, 08:34 PM
Hey, it just doesn't happen to larger sized people! I remember shopping for a grad outfit with a size 2 friend. At the time, I was 160 lbs and 5 ft 7. Not so big. Well, we went into a store that apparently was a FASHION DESIGNER'S store -- I should have figured it out because there just clothes on racks instead of the usual store set-up, but hey it was at the mall so how would I know that?
Anyways, she was trying things on. I was looking through the racks and was told by the sales clerk NOT TO TOUCH ANYTHING because, in her words, "you are too fat to fit into any of our sizes"...
The shop went out of business two months later...

Get to a plus-size store OR try a specialty store -- check your yellow pages and make some calls. You can find a suit, for sure...

Elladorine
10-28-2009, 07:03 PM
Thank you for all the comments and support. :hug:

I'm going to look around and find a few more specialty stores to see if I have any luck, in the meantime I really appreciate the online links. I felt a lot more comfortable with the idea after finding the exact same suit online (http://www.alwaysforme.com/plus-size-delta-burke.html) that I bought in Palm Springs a few years back, lol. I still have it so it should be a big help in figuring out my current size.

What's crazy is that I've lost 50 pounds since buying it and it actually still fits! Not only that, it looks better on me than before and I imagine I could easily go down another size. ;) The only thing is that I wonder why the heck they made the middle of the underneath transparent like that. :?:

In the meantime I'll remember that yeah, I can tuck in the skirt if I need to. I don't have my membership to the Y just yet, but we plan on running over to sign up before Halloween. I can't wait!

About the lady at the store, I don't think she in particular actually bothered me. I might be fooling myself over this one but I think I got used to those kinds of comments when I weighed well over 300 pounds. It's more that . . . I dunno, maybe she triggered something within me, the part of me that doubts I even know what I'm doing.

I hate being so pessimistic. And it's silly to think that I've lost all this weight by accident. Why am I prone to think this way? I've been working so hard to change my overall attitude and for the most part, I'm doing well. I just have the occasional bad day. The big difference now is that I can pick myself up and move on much more quickly, before those bad days turn into bad weeks and months. :o

There's also that frustration of not being where I want to be yet. Of course I'd love to be at my goal but I also realize those kinds of things take time. But it's all relative. I'm sure I'd have given anything to be at the weight I am now back when I was at 360. And as it is right now, I'd give anything to be down to 220, a big goal in the back of my head as that was my lowest adult weight. I'm only 40 pounds away from that and it's gonna be fabulous! In the meantime it feels like I'm hardly going anywhere and it's really hard to picture myself going down to even an 18, which is only two sizes away. I've actually been in a 22-24 for most of my life as it is, so it's really hard to be at this point and appreciate any changes.

But as I keep plugging away, I remind myself of how lucky I am. I was in a horrible place back when I was at my highest weight, both physically and emotionally. I'm so grateful that I made the decision back then to find a healthier me, and I know I'll eventually look back on this moment (and many more) and will be grateful that I continued to work toward that healthier me. :)

AR4life
10-28-2009, 10:08 PM
:hug: Wow, amazing difference in looking at you with the weight you've lost. Very cool for sure. I'm glad you're in a better place so you can shrug off the sales clerk and her rudeness. :hug: