South Beach Diet - unnecessary comments .

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09-23-2009, 09:58 PM
hi everyone, hope you all had a good day.
I just have beff to air, why do some peolpe feel that it is so necessary to comment of my weight, i went from a size 10-12 to a size 4-6, I think i look good, my husband always says i look good, but there are certain peolpe who say you look way too skinny, too bonie, looking "old", I am not being vain but I do not look any of thoes things( only the ladies say thoes things by the way).
I sometimes start to feel bad about my self, and start to look at my self.
They also have to comment on my food choices, this drives me crazy, I make a lunch every day, it always looks and taste wonderful to me, but I can almost bet money on the fact that some one will say " I could not eat that kind of food every day"or " thats just a fad diet!!!", this is while they are eating their
pizza or subs!! so I find myself eating alone to avoid such comments.
I have been on the beach for 18 months, and this is no way a fad diet.
phew, I feel better thanks, just off to make my lunch, which I shall eat alone.

09-23-2009, 10:13 PM
Wow, that sounds like jealousy to me! It's sad that people act that way, but at least now you know who your real friends are. Keep doing what you are doing. You are awesome!!! :carrot:

09-23-2009, 10:20 PM
thank you for your kind comments,
I wish I could say I dont care, but obviously I do, I guess I should just become deaf to their comments, but some times words can hurt.
But you are right, my husband always says they are just jealous, and he is proud to have me as his wife, that make me feel good.

09-23-2009, 10:22 PM
Anytime someone makes a comment about how you look or eat, just smile and think to yourself "wow I must really look good to incite all this jealousy from other women!" I wish I was where you are now! Don't worry about others, you're doing great!

09-23-2009, 10:41 PM
It sounds like pure jealousy to me as well. When someone makes a comment to you regardling ANY of those things ... just do what I do when people keep asking me when I'm going to get married. You look at them and say, " Wow. I'm perfectly happy with myself. You seem to be more worried about it than I am. I wonder why that is? " and then walk away. :)

09-23-2009, 10:52 PM
"It seems the last time I checked, lunch was a personal choice. Enjoy yours, and I'll enjoy mine."

My yoga teacher has an answer when someone is personal and a bit rude. She says, "Thanks for noticing."

Sorry, it does hurt, but I'm sure there are lots who it happens to.

09-24-2009, 12:07 AM
Did you lose the weight quickly? How long did it take? Maybe that is why they feel the need to comment. Anyway, enjoy your success--it sounds as though you look great and you are the envy of all those people!

09-24-2009, 12:27 AM
I can relate to that a bit even though I got a long way to go family was thinkn I was starving myself when I wasn't then after that I tried to and it didn't work! My sister gets that a lot too bcuz every1 was used to seeing her a lot heavier ppl tell her she looks sick when she is beautiful! :( I hate jelous people! just ignore as long as ur happy is all that matters :)

09-24-2009, 01:43 AM
I wouldn't be so quick to automatically dismiss comments as simple jealousy. Who is making the comments that you look too skinny, boney, or old? Is it loved ones who are concerned (maybe overly so) at you weight loss? Or is it acquantinces at work? Is it your doctor? Size 4-6 doesn't seem unreasonably small at your height at all, so chances are it's just people who aren't used to your new weight.

Having said that--several years ago, my sister did a weight-loss challenge and she got very, very thin. She was working out twice a day and eating hardly anything and she DID look very thin and gaunt. She did not look healthy; she looked skinny and drawn and hungry. Luckily she realized that she was not in a healthy place and she loosened up her plan a little till she got healthy.

So all I'm saying is consider the source. If people who love you are truly concerned, then at least consider their words. If your doctor is concerned, listen to her. Otherwise, just thank people for their concern and keep on doing what you're doing!

Thighs Be Gone
09-24-2009, 01:57 AM
Chances are they are "haters." I do not discuss my weightloss with anyone--except here at 3FC. My disclaimer--I do have two very close girlfriends--both thinner--and we discuss it bunches when we are together. As I lost weight, I had lots of comments questioning methods. I would just answer.."whole foods and running..thats it"...if someone persisted in discussion I got into my spill on nutrition and believe me ...that would bore ANYONE to tears! I rarely get anyone that says anything to me anymore regarding weight.

Of course you could always come back with Dr. Phil's answer for everything and ask the person.."and how's that pizza workin' for ya?"

09-24-2009, 02:24 AM
wow! in the last office i worked in, the women all did the same thing to me before i'd even actually lost any weight! just choosing to lead a healthier lifestyle was a threat to them. so my response? i stopped eating around them, found a pair of other women who wanted to get healthy and lose weight, and started a walking group that grew to include the AP and almost the entire AR departments!

your success and good looks are a threat to them b/c you remind them of what they have chosen not to do... GET HEALTHY! you can come back with witty, snide comments when they act jealous or you can just smile, thank them for their concern, and offer to share whatever food you've brought with you. kill em with kindness :hug:

09-24-2009, 06:06 AM
>"and how's that pizza workin' for ya?"
^Love that!!

Yes, I agree with other posters. They are probably jealous of your success but I expect the primary motivation for making those comments is to reassure themselves that they *shouldn't* give up their normal (fatty, high-calorie) lunches. They probably look at you and subliminally think "Wish I could be like that!" then look at your lunch and think "No way I'm doing that!" and the result is to reject everything.

Congratulations on meeting your weight goal!!! You seem to be at a great place for your height.

09-24-2009, 07:04 AM
I get comments like that sometimes at work too about my food choices. Usually for lunch I bring a big salad, a yogurt and some fruit or dinner leftovers...which seems perfectly normal to me. I get comments like "that's a lot of food for one person!" or "Don't you eat anything but healthy stuff?" and I just say "works for me!"

To me, my lunches look a lot better than a soggy ham sandwich on white bread, leftover pizza and the junk out of the machine other people eat for lunch. I look around and they all look tired.

The other day, early in the morning, a co-worker told me "Why are you always so damn happy in the morning?" I said "I don't know". But I knew the reason why. I eat well, fuel myself the way I'm supposed to and had just spent 2 hours at the gym, pampered in the steam room, felt all fresh and strong and my endorphins were flying!

Just be happy with yourself and let the snack cake eating crowd go...

09-24-2009, 09:02 AM
I have similar problems at work. Then I was disciplined by the boss for me making a comment of "eating weird foods again" after someone made fun of me. Whatever. They can have all their pizza, cake, honey buns, nutter butters and other processed foods. They can continue to be overweight and unhappy, and pass it on to their children. I am proud of my new eating habits, and glad that's what my children see!! In a way, it does bother me. In another way, I'm very proud of myself, and even feel sorry for them that they are not open to healthy eating.

3FC will help you with support, that's for sure!

09-24-2009, 10:17 AM
In a way, it does bother me. In another way, I'm very proud of myself, and even feel sorry for them that they are not open to healthy eating.

3FC will help you with support, that's for sure!

It bothers me, too, but it seems it's just the foot in the mouth syndrome. It's kind of amazing to me, I was made fun of when I was fat, and yet the same people made comments when I wasn't. I haven't been back to Alaska since losing this time, and part of not going has to do with what others say. Next year I'm going, and I'm going to be strong enough not to care.

09-24-2009, 12:19 PM
My yoga teacher has an answer when someone is personal and a bit rude. She says, "Thanks for noticing."

love this response!!!!

really does sound like they are jealous and want to make themselves feel that it is ok to eat the way they need to be happy and feel good about yourself....that is whats most important....sorry you have to deal with that

09-24-2009, 04:32 PM
Rock on girl!

09-24-2009, 05:02 PM
Another response I have heard that should stop the comments "Did you realize you said that out loud ? "

09-24-2009, 05:17 PM
Put them on the "uh-huh" button...They comment, you say, "Uh-huh."
Or another one
"Now aren't you the sweetest thing, Thank you for caring about me."
That one leaves some rufus intellectuals scratching their heads and wondering if they indeed said something nice...
If all else fails, put in some ear plugs and have everyone thinking you are deaf...
Because if you are happy with you, then what someone else says is really not important...
(smile, right?)

09-24-2009, 06:01 PM
"Now aren't you the sweetest thing, Thank you for caring about me."
That one leaves some rufus intellectuals scratching their heads and wondering if they indeed said something nice...

:) That's a good one.

09-24-2009, 07:13 PM
thank you, thank you, I feel so much better, you guys are so kind and considerate, I wish I had joined the group a long time ago.

09-24-2009, 07:45 PM
Then I was disciplined by the boss for me making a comment of "eating weird foods again" after someone made fun of me. Whatever.

Why on earth would you be disciplined for your comment? The person who made fun of you should be "disciplined".

I get this all the time at work too. People were commenting on my weight a lot last year, and at one point I became so sensitive about it at a meeting with my boss (when she said something too) that I started to cry (I'm always easy to cry). I asked her and some co-workers to stop commenting on my weight, that they were embarrassing me, and it has mostly stopped. I also get the "weird food" comments, especially when there is a potluck or food gifts at work. My lunch rarely varies. I usually have fruit, greek yogurt, huge salad with RF cheese and a serving of protein. I don't comment on their weight or food, but they feel free to comment on mine. :(

better health3
09-24-2009, 08:24 PM
I think it is te "bucket of crab syndrome"...people can be cruel in putting people down. You should be very proud of yourself for taking control of your health. What will they say when their lifestyles contribute to their chronic diseases that could have been avoided?

I know people can be cruel when you are different from them. You probably make some of them look bad. Hold your head high and focus on being the healthiest, best you, you can possible be...

Looking for new lunch ideas...what do you eat for lunch?

09-25-2009, 06:04 PM
my lunch ideas include,
a huge green salad with romine and spinach, toms, cuc, few blueberries for taste, and protein which can be boiled egg with chickpeas, grilled chickhen, cottage cheese, cold crumbled salmon, any one is good cold on your salad.
I never get bored , i love this lunch.

I also like to add just a touch of blue cheese, maybe about a teaspoon, just a tiny amount, it is high in fat and calories, a bit goes a long way. I sprinkle this on top, add a bit of olive oil and vinegar.

after that i will have a sf jello most days, or a small fruit.

on cold days i have meat and green beans, and i loved mashed up cauliflower
the meat is noramlly chickhen breast, pork loin, or some salmon.

left over chilli made with extra lean turkey is also a nice lunch.

thanks everyone

09-28-2009, 11:38 AM
June, looks like you've had a lot of good replies! You might also find some information and hope in these threads:

Surprised at hostility towards SB (
Interesting Insight of mine (

We've talked about this issue a lot because it really does come up in our lives often as we get closer to goal. When I was more than 25 pounds from goal, I had lots of people say, "Aren't you done? You look so skinny already!" Meanwhile, I could grab a really large (at least 3" thick) roll of fat around my middle--and they say that belly fat is the dangerous kind. :rolleyes:

You'll find a ton of great information on this issue in the Maintainers forum, too. Check out these threads (and feel free to search for more):
"Don't lose more weight"... what do you say? (
Other People Commenting About Our Lifestyles (
"Are you trying to lose weight?" (
Well, I had it... (

And you might find this helpful to utilize in explaining to others how you picked your goal and why it's a good one: Picking A Goal Weight: Did you pick your maintenance weight, or did it pick you? (

09-28-2009, 06:39 PM
thank you, i will check out that information

09-29-2009, 03:02 AM
work is the worst! People always seem to eat brownies, cake and chocolate in front of me