Weight Loss Support - Bad week getting worse...support or personal stories out there??




Saffytaffy
08-04-2009, 03:58 PM
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Hi everyone!

I just feed the need to reach out for some support out there or hear some personal experiences with this!

Firstly my biggest problem...I know weight watchers and any other long term lifestlye change should be treated day by day but I really struggle with this. Since Thursday morning is my weigh in day...if my week gets messed up or starts going downhill in regards to being OP/doing well on my plan I tend to not really give up on my plan but not care as much if I go off track a little more and say to myself "next week I will do really good and get back on track" which is what happens. Like today is Tuesday...and Sunday is when it all started to fall apart. I was perfect all day and then went to the lake with some freinds and ate sooo many tortilla chips. Then yesterday I was also perfect on my plan and then went out and had a big ice cream cone cause I was out with my family, knowing that if I hadnt eated those chips the day before I would have totally refused the ice cream without feeling left out.

I guess what I am saying is that even though my week (like this one) gets messed up a bit...I still always loose for that week (rarely I maintain, most of the time I loose though) and that starting again on that thursday I do go back for being "perfect" for months again.

So I guess what I am asking is does anyone else experience this. I am kinda an all or nothing girl which I think is my problem! I cant go a week having one bad day and be okay with it..it has to been a WHOLE GOOD WEEK or I havent done well at all! And its not like I am beating myself up about the day that turns into more days of being bad...its more that I just cant get myself fully back on track if it isnt the start of another weigh in week! AHHHHHH!!!


JulieJ08
08-04-2009, 04:02 PM
It might help to think of it this way: If you get back on track today, you can spend next week losing new weight. If you wait until next week, you can spend next week just getting back to baseline.

Glory87
08-04-2009, 04:18 PM
I finally realized, when I went offplan, I couldn't just give up and resolve to do better "later." I realized I had to get RIGHT BACK on track the very next eating opportunity.

You know it too - so DO IT.


ladyrider72472
08-04-2009, 04:18 PM
I am the same way too....... but I was reading the WW inspirational stories book and a nurse said "Just for today, I can do this". So this has become my motto. If I mess up with too many chips or whatever, I realize what I have done and try to be better tomorrow.

Hope this helps...... remember..... Just for today, YOU can do this!

beerab
08-04-2009, 06:04 PM
I used to mess up each weekend cuz my weigh in was on Fridays, I changed my weigh in's to mondays and since then have done MUCH better on the weekends :D

MugCanDoIt
08-04-2009, 06:24 PM
Just think of yourself needing to move FORWARD. If you let yourself backslide you are moving BACKWARDS. I know its easier said than done, but try to just keep moving forward, the best you can.

kaplods
08-04-2009, 07:00 PM
In behavioral psychology, the terms used to describe unconscously learned thoughts and behavior patterns are schemas and scripts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_(psychology)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_script

I think one of the reasons that weight loss has such incredibly high failure rates, is that we're actually taught ineffective and inaccurate schemas and scripts for weight loss, mostly without our ever knowing it (makes it difficult to unlearn them).

What I mean is there are so many beliefs/strategies that become ingrained, because we're taught by watching and hearing others how dieting "is done."

Why do you think most people start diets on Mondays, First of the month, First of the year, or in mid-spring in preparation for summer bathing suit season, and almost never during the holidays?

One of the most pervasive dieting practices is what I call the futility defense - "I've blown it, so I might as well eat whatever I want (and maybe even more than I want) until my next start-over period (whether that's tomorrow, Monday, the first day or first monday of the next month, the next official weigh-in...)."

And of course, generally preceding the futility defense, is the perfection strategy. "I will be perfect for as long as possible, until I make a mistake, and then making the mistake (no matter how minor), I will immediately implement the futility defense," and will punish myself in some way, generally including recriminations and self-lectures about what an idiot and horrible person I am."


Most of us are all-or-nothing dieters, because that's what we were taught to be. That's how dieting "is done," in this culture. Not doing so is as counter-culture (maybe even more so) as full-body tattoos and piercings. It's very difficult to swim upstream in a culture. Mostly, every minute (at least at first) has to be a conscious choice to do it the "weird" way).

I spent more than three decades attempting weight loss the "normal" way, and I met with the normal success rate (modest short-term success, and ultimate failure).

I figure that assuming the weight loss statistics are correct (95% failure rate), it's because that 95% of what we learn about weight loss isn't true. In order to be in the 5% that succeeds, you have to unlearn the 95%, and follow less than 5% of "common wisdom." The successful are those who can learn to be freaks who can choose not to follow the example of "most people."

I really think a large part of my current success, is related to forcing myself to be a freak - consciously rewriting all of the weight loss rules and traditions that I absorbed, just by being raised in a culture where diets always start on Mondays or January 1st, and a mistake means binging until the next start-over period (usually no sooner than tomorrow morning).

It's a difficult process to replace established schemas and scripts. Often, we do things because "it's the way things are done," and even when we know it's an ineffective strategy, it's difficult to follow an uncommon pattern (especially if we don't know anyone else doing it.)

For me, I find it easier to rewrite my personal weight loss scripts, by modifying existing ones to be more effective, rather than replacing them entirely. For example, I've redefined my starting-over point to be when I step on the scale, rather than the next morning. If I choose not to get on the scale this isn't very effective (I didn't say that I've got all my schemas and scripts fixed yet).

"Don't weigh yourself every day, it will only discourage and frustrate you," is a very popular dieting stereotype (stereotypes are one type of schema).

I find that weighing myself daily - and weighing myself after going off-plan, helps me stay on-track. I get that "starting fresh," feeling that I find so motivating. Of course, I had to learn NOT to feel discouraged and frustrated with weight fluctuations. I also had to unlearn the "futility defense" and the "perfection strategy.

I shouldn't say that "I had to learn" - as much as "I have to learn," because it's an ongoing process. Society and culture are boxes that are impossible to escape. My husband is often fond of saying "people are sheep," and doesn't exclude himself from that equation. It's difficult to think outside of the box, when you have to live in that box. I don't know if I will ever unlearn the desire for cake on my birthday (I've barely learned that I don't have to have cake at someone else's birthday party).

Mikayla
08-04-2009, 11:12 PM
I think it's all about making good choices for yourself. It is of course possible to have off days and still lose weight. Trust me, I eat "off plan" more than a lot of people do(or at least care to admit) Of course most of the time I don't really consider it off plan because I count calories and if I happen to eat way too many chips of go out for ice cream I log those calories then try to make up for it somewhere else.( Through exercise or eating lighter throughout the week.)

My suggestion is the next time you eat little too much or whatever, just keep going make a good choice your very next meal, or exercise little bit more...just keep focused and move ahead!

p7eggyc
08-04-2009, 11:38 PM
I totally understand where you are coming from, been there and totally encourage you to ditch that thinking. Here are a couple of things I thought about and maybe there is something in here for you:

1. What if you track on a rolling 7 day period? Instead of looking at the week as Thursday to Thursday think about your week being the past 7 days. So your current week stretches back to last Tuesday. Then set some sort of reward for a satisfactory (notice I did not say perfect) 7 day period. You mentioned WW so I would imagine that looks like something along the lines of eating within your points allowance for x days of those 7. The sooner you get back 'on plan', the sooner you will earn your reward. This has the added advantage of not putting SOOOOO much importance on that weigh in day and will help you avoid crazy scale games.

2. I would take a look at what your expectations are. Perfection is not realistic so start looking for ways you can practice accepting 'good enough'. Start setting goals like "I will eat 4 vegetable servings 5 of the next 7 days" or an exercise goal like that.

HTH! You can do this. Healthy living is a day to day thing and look for ways to focus on health vs. weight!

Peg

Windchime
08-05-2009, 01:38 AM
In behavioral psychology, the terms used to describe unconscously learned thoughts and behavior patterns are schemas and scripts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_(psychology)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_script



I think this post should be stickied. Seriously.

lookingtobehealthy
08-05-2009, 02:13 AM
Wow are you all on plans? I am just winging this by eating less and moving more. I figure every day is a new day. Some days are great and others not so great.
I give my self a 5 pound rule... If I can lose 5 pounds in a month, then I am pretty happy about myself and all the hills and valleys inbetween are what make this an interesting and challenging journey. Let's face it, if this was easy, none of us would feel as rewarding as we do when we reach the temporary finish line... The journey continues....

betty grrl
08-05-2009, 02:28 AM
One of the most pervasive dieting practices is what I call the futility defense - "I've blown it, so I might as well eat whatever I want (and maybe even more than I want) until my next start-over period (whether that's tomorrow, Monday, the first day or first monday of the next month, the next official weigh-in...)."

And of course, generally preceding the futility defense, is the perfection strategy. "I will be perfect for as long as possible, until I make a mistake, and then making the mistake (no matter how minor), I will immediately implement the futility defense," and will punish myself in some way, generally including recriminations and self-lectures about what an idiot and horrible person I am."


THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for posting this!!!! It's me in a nut shell!!! I was having a really rotten day (eating OP, but the scale wasn't as good to me as I thought). This post really got me thinking!!! I'm actually feeling much better now!!!

:grouphug:

dragonwoman64
08-05-2009, 08:51 AM
I was fascinated by your post too, Kaplods. I agree that some of the things I've discovered about the dieting process feel "against the stream," even make me feel uncomfortable sometimes because I feel like they're right (for me), but I'm not 170lbs. And still have stall outs because I let extra eating creep in. And I don't steadily lose 2 lbs a week (!!), which somehow has entered my brain as the real sign of success with a weight loss program, even though logically I know that would be the very rare scenario in the majority of situations irl.

I've been all over the place with the scale, and I've gotten to the point where I weigh in every day. I can't say I'm completely able to get past the mild freak outs due to minor fluctuations yet. Especially in the summer when the heat makes me retain water, among other things that add to weight temporarily. It does seem to be helping me to do it. It keeps my mind focused on what I'm trying to do, and reflects quickly when I'm not on program. The frustration aspect of it can be difficult for me (number please shrink!). But then the number shrinking is me working and sticking to the plan to get it going in that direction.

you have so many great insights, I enjoy your posts.

JulieJ08
08-05-2009, 10:43 AM
Wow are you all on plans? I am just winging this by eating less and moving more.

I think when most or at least many say "plan," they mean their own plan. Whatever they've come up with. It's probably often more structured than "winging this by eating less and moving more," but not necessarily some official diet plan. But if what you're doing is working, and it obviously is, then you've got exactly the plan you need :)

p7eggyc
08-05-2009, 11:00 AM
Wow are you all on plans? I am just winging this by eating less and moving more. I figure every day is a new day. Some days are great and others not so great.


That's essentially my 'plan' too. Good job on your weight loss so far!

Peg

bargoo
08-05-2009, 11:29 AM
You can start over any time, next meal, next day whichever comes first.

P.S. I have yet to meet the person who works their weight loss program perfectly. We all have those days when we can't or don't resist that cookie, or ice cream or piece of pie. It happens but it doesn't mean the end of the program.