100 lb. Club - Kind of a weird question, re: feeling proud of myself




thinpossible
07-19-2009, 09:13 AM
Next Saturday I'll have been 2 months without junk food. No candy, baked goods, ice cream, fast food, sugared soda, etc. These foods used to be my staples. It was really tough to detox.

For the past couple of days I've been trying to get it in my head that this is huge. A big deal, and it just feels like whatever, I gave up junk food, nothing special, anyone could do it.

The same with veggies and fruit. I've gone from eating almost no produce to getting in my 5 a day. Since I don't really like fruits and veggies, it seems like it would feel like a great accomplishment, but no, just something I need to do and did.

And exercise. I still don't like it, but I walk 45min-1.5 hrs almost everyday, and I miss it if I skip a day. I have never ever had a regular exercise habit. I'm doing it regularly even though it's kind of a drudge. You would think I would be excited and proud that I have established such a difficult habit, but no.

And I'm kind of scared that if I just think all these things are no big deal, if I can't feel great about them that I'll lose my focus and slide back into old habits. Has anyone else felt like this? Anyone else have a tough time giving themselves a pat on the back?


ubergirl
07-19-2009, 09:49 AM
Yes, me! Today was my one month anniversary.. I gained 3 pounds, either water weight or scale weirdness...

All I could think about was how it didn't seem to be working, even though I know I've been doing everything right.

Rosinante
07-19-2009, 10:20 AM
No, I don't have those feelings, I'm b. smug about what I've achieved and learned; but I hear what you're saying and I acknowledge your feelings.
All I will say is : you have done amazingly! you have achieved so many healthy changes. Until you can be proud of yourself *I*'ll be proud of you for you!


midwife
07-19-2009, 10:24 AM
THinpossible,

You are correct. Anyone can do what you have done. But the point is that hardly anybody does. You are kicking a physical and emotional dependance on junkfood, and doing it in a culture where such food is designed and marketed to be hard to resist and in a culture where "everyone else" eats that way. You have made the decision to be in charge of what you put in your mouth. On the one hand, it is easy, cause it is you who puts stuff in your mouth. On the other hand it is so hard---I heard at an obesity conference that the average American is confronted with 300 food "decisions" each day. You are doing it in a culture where dedication to health can be judged negatively.

I am so proud of you!! And I want you to be proud of yourself too. Sounds silly, but look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are proud of your choices. Give yourself a pat on the back---for real. You are making these choices a priority, and while most people have that ability, very few people follow through on it.

chickiegirl
07-19-2009, 10:39 AM
Yes, I have thought things were no big deal and I think that's part of what has allowed me to consistently binge over the last few weeks. No big deal, I can lose that extra couple of pounds again, etc.

But it IS a big deal, what you have accomplished. It IS tough and it's wonderful you were able to achieve it. Look at it this way, if it was so easy, why was it so hard to do at first? Why did you wait so long to do it?

You've made wonderful changes Thin and you deserve credit. Please past yourself on the back!! :cp:

newleaf123
07-19-2009, 11:02 AM
I think I can relate. I never did go out and get my "reward" for losing 20 lbs, which was getting a ring resized to fit. It just didn't feel like a big deal. And I haven't come up with any sort of reward for losing 30 lbs. It just doesn't seem necessary. Maybe the fact that you don't feel proud just reflects the fact that you accept this as the new normal?? That doesn't sound like something that would make you start backtracking, but rather, make you continue the (excellent) status quo.

Congratulations on the major lifestyle changes you have made!! You *do* deserve to be proud, and I hope you can find it in yourself to acknowledge these incredible changes that you have made for your increased health and well being. :hug:

Trazey34
07-19-2009, 11:18 AM
ha, I think I deserve a ticker-tape parade for choosing fruit for dessert instead of cake LOL But I'm a total HAM - everyone's personality is different, some are more humble, some are more 'in the background' if you will, so that's just how you do it. No biggie. WE'RE all insanely proud of you!! As long as you keep plugging away, doesn't much matter.

bcort
07-19-2009, 11:42 AM
I can't comment on what you're feeling, because I'm where you were before you started. And you've inspired me to get the junk out of my life & start the exercise program. In fact, I'm going to go exercise right now, before I find another excuse not to. So THANK YOU!

TaraLee
07-19-2009, 11:46 AM
First off...Good job!
I read your post...twice because I didn't want to sound heartless when I replied but here's my opionon.

Perhapes you're looking at this all wrong. Maybe you should view this as a totally, 100% freaking magnificent accomplishment that you DON'T feel YAY! and HOORAY! for sticking to the changes you've made.
Here's my reasoning. When we need to celebrate the little changes that we stick with or that happen to us it is because we NEED that self acknowledgement because these changes are something we have yet view as a permenant change in our lifestyle. Its called postive reinforcement. We celebrate/reward ourselves to change our behaviors but once those behaviors are engraved into us we don't feel the need to :carrot: about them. They are just a part of life now. I'm not sure you have children but here's an example. I've gone through the nightmare of potty training my son. When he first started out everytime he went pee in the actual potty was a HUGE occassion. There were stickers and high fives, hugs, kisses and a pouring out of praises. Now he's 4. There's no stickers or high fives for using the toliet. Its something common place to him now. At some point the rewards and celebrating have to stop.
You said it yourself:
... just something I need to do and did.

The important part here is to acknowledge that you are *in* your NEW and IMPROVED lifestyle, not just working towards it. You continue to do what your doing and now you don't feel like its a big celebration but something common place for you! And THAT you should feel amazing about! But that's JMO.

beautifulone
07-19-2009, 12:26 PM
I hope what I say is in some way helpful :)

I think it does sometimes depend on one's personality.. some people have an easy time strutting their stuff, whether that's emotionally or physically, with pride about what they've done. Other people not so much.. Some people also have an easier time giving themselves credit for accomplishments, sometimes others don't. I personally find I didn't always credit myself nearly as much as I deserved to... it's as though I lived in the land of denial sometimes. A couple of years ago, this is an example of how I felt: "oh, I lost 50 lbs, that's not that much". Then I would see someone else's ticker, they'd lost 45 lbs, and I thought "WOW.. that's INCREDIBLE!". Nutso huh.. Thankfully that's no longer the case, but you get my drift.. ;)

You mentioned that you don't feel very excited or proud of yourself about these changes. Do you feel happy and good about them, or perhaps peaceful? With knowing that what you are doing is wonderful? I am asking this because I don't outright celebrate either, or give myself rewards as I lose a certain amount of weight/nsv, but I feel really good about what I am doing, and that keeps me going. And it sounds like that's what you really want - to make sure you keep going, because deep down I know you know you want to.

I also wonder if maybe it is a matter of learning to be proud of yourself. I don't know if this is how you feel only towards your lifestyle changes or about other things in life too. It feels good to be proud of your accomplishments, and that's something that can be learned, because you deserve to feel good about yourself and give yourself props for the positive steps you take in life! :)

There are so many people here who are proud of you :) let some of that goodness flow into your thoughts about yourself, because what you are doing IS fantastic, marvelous, and worthy of many a huge WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! :woohoo:

DCHound
07-19-2009, 12:28 PM
Thinpossible, I know PRECISELY how you feel. ****, I lost 99 lbs in six months and wasn't excited/emotional about it inside. I posted on here as though I was...I rewarded myself with flowers etc....but I just didn't feel it inside, still don't.

I don't think not getting all revved up means we're going to go back to our old ways. I think it means, as someone else already said, this is our "new normal." For me, I tend to get more emotional about kicking myself for not doing this sooner rather than rewarding myself for doing it now...but not a lot.

Don't borrow trouble. So what if we don't jump up and down for accomplishing the impossible? We accomplish anyway; then move on to the next impossible goal. :)

better health3
07-19-2009, 12:34 PM
Congrats! I also tried to get rid of the junk, fast food, and extra sugar. I did have some of those foods, however, I've cut back considerably. As a result, I've lost over 20 pounds. You've done really well. Did you experience how addicted you used to be to those things? It was pretty scary, huh? That in itself is an amazing feat. Please allow yourself the good feelings you deserve t o have. Think of this as one minute at a time....thanks for sharing. Just think where you will be at the end of the year?! Keep plugging...

Numina
07-19-2009, 01:27 PM
You always start the most interesting threads, ThinPossible!

First off, congratulations on detoxing and replacing all that bad stuff with all that good stuff! The 2 months you have stayed away from the junk proves that this isn't just a short-term accident or fluke; you really have made the adjustment to a whole new way of life.

Second, maybe the reason you don't feel a stronger sense of pride at overcoming a difficult habit is that what you are doing now is so much more natural; it isn't that you have walked away from a bad place so much as you have simply come home to where you were alway meant to be. You are just being the ThinPossible as she is supposed to be: healthy and getting healthier, on track simply because that is how you get from A to B.

Maybe it is actually a lot healthier to have your progress be commonplace --- you aren't dieting and you aren't doing special exercising, etc. --- you are just living your life! All this food stuff is just a small part of the whole, not the big focus.

I guess I wouldn't worry about it unless you do find yourself falling into old habits, at which point, post immediately! :)

TJFitnessDiva
07-19-2009, 02:08 PM
I think it's because you are living it and doing it every single day for so long....to you it's just what you do. Which by the way I think is awesome!!! Just stay aware like you are doing now and it'll be hard to slip back into those destructive habits.

I feel the same way about my weightloss now. I'm proud of myself but I'm no longer wanting to shout it from the rooftops but I'm peacefully enjoying it :)

thinpossible
07-20-2009, 12:53 AM
Thanks everybody. Yes, I do think it has a lot to do with my personality, and also the fact that these changes are permanent, and I didn't try to change too much stuff at once, so it feels much more doable.

Yes, me! Today was my one month anniversary.. I gained 3 pounds, either water weight or scale weirdness...

All I could think about was how it didn't seem to be working, even though I know I've been doing everything right. You've done great! 13 lbs in a month is fabulous!

Look at it this way, if it was so easy, why was it so hard to do at first? Why did you wait so long to do it? Good point ;)


Thinpossible, I know PRECISELY how you feel. ****, I lost 99 lbs in six months and wasn't excited/emotional about it inside. I posted on here as though I was...I rewarded myself with flowers etc....but I just didn't feel it inside, still don't.

Don't borrow trouble. So what if we don't jump up and down for accomplishing the impossible? We accomplish anyway; then move on to the next impossible goal. :) Right, I am doing it. No point in worrying about how it feels. The point is action not feelings. And it's a relief to know that someone who has lost as much as you have feels the same way.

I can't comment on what you're feeling, because I'm where you were before you started. And you've inspired me to get the junk out of my life & start the exercise program. In fact, I'm going to go exercise right now, before I find another excuse not to. So THANK YOU! Wow, that's better than any reward I could buy for myself. You CAN do it!!!

DCHound
07-20-2009, 01:01 AM
Go bcort go!!!!!!!!

cfmama
07-20-2009, 01:35 AM
I've read this thread three times today in my morphine hangover (er last night, another attack... blah blah blah) and can't put to words what I want to say. I think I agree with what DC and some others have said about this being your NORMAL now. You don't need the mega praise and rewards from yourself because just DOING IT was your reward.

I want YOU to know that I am hugely proud of you. You did something that most others don't do. Not that they CAN'T but that they DON'T. And I personally think that's something to be really really proud of.

Jennelle
07-20-2009, 10:23 AM
And I'm kind of scared that if I just think all these things are no big deal, if I can't feel great about them that I'll lose my focus and slide back into old habits.

I have the opposite problem. I tend to think that if I make a huge deal out of every "little" thing on my journey, I'll burn out. I have no idea why I feel that way. The only connections I can make are (maybe) it's a reminder of days past when five pounds lost meant I could go have an ice cream sundae at Baskin-Robbins! :lol:

scarletmeshell
07-20-2009, 12:08 PM
I couldn't agree more with everyone here. The only thing I have to add, is Wonderful job!!!! Every time I see you posts about what you have accomplished I cheer for you!