General chatter - how not to care what people think
05-01-2009, 05:12 PM
i tell myself that i don't have to apologize for being me or appoligize for anyone else.......yet i wish i would FEEL those words. i mean i don't feel i need to appolgize, yet i how do you FEEL like you don't give a damn about what anyone thinks you are doing, observing, ect.
05-01-2009, 05:21 PM
i have the same problem and it has led to me be a hermit.... i wish i could feel better about being out in public but i'm always worried about what others are thinking of me... you're right we do need to get over this... i wish i knew how...
05-01-2009, 07:02 PM
I think the answer is simply practice. On one hand, I've always been a fairly confident person, but I also had to learn how to teach others to treat me. If I didn't demand respect, I didn't always get it.
For me, practice and internal talk is how I learned to demand better treatment. If someone tried to intimidate me, I learned not to back down - not necessarily aggressively, I just refused to turn tail and run. It's almost like a dog pack mentality, if eye contact makes you feel uncomfortable, you're choosing to be a subordinate member of the pack. If you hold your head high and look people in the eye, you're body language says that you know you are the person's equal, not inferior - and usually what you say about yourself (through your body language, expressions, and eye contact), others believe. You tell them who you are, before they even meet you.
It's not entirely that simple, but largely, I think it is. I've definitely noticed a change in the way people treated me when I changed how I treated and saw myself.
05-01-2009, 08:22 PM
A wise friend once told me, "It's not my business what other people think of me."
05-01-2009, 08:30 PM
well said kaplods, i second that!
05-01-2009, 09:15 PM
And unless they tell us, we really don't know what people are thinking about us at all. Oh, we can guess or make assumptions, but honestly I think that most of the time people aren't really thinking about me at all.
I just try to do my best not to assume that people are thinking poorly about me. Most people are just like you and I; they are just going about the business of living their lives and really don't have time to sit and think about how Windchime is doing this or that wrong.
05-01-2009, 10:58 PM
I think I have the same issue to a certain extent. The self image hinders my social interaction to the extent where I feel uncomfortable outside my home. It is definitely something I need to change.
05-01-2009, 11:20 PM
I suck at socializing. I've made attempts here and there to inject myself into social situations that call for interaction but in the end, I retreat to my comfort zone: solitude or visiting immediate family members.
There is a lot to be said for how we project our own self image outward. I have no doubt that when I am to where I'm comfortable with my appearance, I'll be comfortable mingling.
Until then, this fatty is a hermit!