i have been doing pretty bad eating wise since last friday. i found out that my bf of 3 years has 5 kids instead of 1, not including our daughter; grand total 6. i was so depressed, angry, sad, and dissapointed to find out. he didn't tell me the whole 3 years we have been together. so that was friday. i went out that night and saturday night, and drank both nights. didn't eat a whole lot, but when i did it was OP. i continued exercize also. so, this week has been more of the same. i've gained back about 2 pounds. thankfully, only 2. i am feeeling much better today and have eaten OP and exercized. but i am going to break up with him which is going to cause a move back in with my mom and her husband, financial instability, and my daughter not having her dad. i am scared that i will not be able to keep myself in check in the coming months. what can i do? does time really heal all wounds? i don't even want to look at him. i'm going to be so lonely, but i can't just jump into dating right away. ugh! this sucks! i feel really bad for our dd. she is only 18 months and he's not really around much anyways, but still. she asks for him at least once a day. part of me wants to just stay with him for her.
I would try sticking to your eating and exercise plan like a woman possessed. This will give you something to focus on everyday to help keep you sane and give structure to your day.
By focusing on your eating and exercise plan, you put all your energy into yourself instead of into fretting about the ex.
Brace up for a transition and remember that no situation is so bad that overeating can't make it EVEN WORSE. Your daughter needs you to be strong and healthy and she also needs your good example. So let that guide you through the storm. If you overeat or drink or whatever it will only dull the pain temporarily and at the same time create more emotional & physical problems for you to deal with.
Best of luck to you and your little girl! I truly believe that even when it's unpleasant, it's better to know the truth.
I agree with Janelle- focus on you for the next little while. It's a good time to have something to throw yourself into.
In my opinion, time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds, but it definitely dulls the pain. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, but I think you're amazing for respecting yourself enough to walk away from someone who clearly hasn't treated you the way you deserve to be treated. You're setting an excellent example for your daughter. Stay strong- you can do this. Big Hugs.
Oh honey...I'm so sorry to hear about that. A bit of advice..do not stay because you have a child. He can be in her life either way. Staying with someone does not insure a happy childhood. It's worse 9 times out of 10 if both parents are unhappy anyway. You need to do what's right for you. That's not just a small lie. That's pretty major. If he can't be honest with you about that then, I know it sounds old, but he really just isn't worth it. Time does heal, but scares are always left. The good thing about it is that we do become stronger from these things. I sound like an advise book from the 80's, hee hee, but it's true. You will be able to get through this. I hope that no matter what decision you make things will be ok again soon. I wish you the best of luck!!!!
**hugs**
Oh boy, that's a whopper. I admire you for doing what you need to do Take comfort in knowing that you're taking care of yourself and your daughter. I obviously can't know the whole situation, and I'm a strong believer in families, but staying isn't always the answer either. There's pros and cons both ways, and I'm sure you'll do what's best.
5 kids, and he didn't bother to tell you in three years? He could at least have mentioned it when you became pregnant...you know, let you know how many siblings your daughter would have. Since he kept it so well hidden, unless he's capable of ninja-like stealth, he probably hasn't been paying support or visiting his kids very often (if at all). So not to be a downer, but I wouldn't count on him being a big part of your daughter's life either, unless by some miracle he's had an about-face of character since providing half the chromosomes of the others.
At 18 months, your daughter is more attached to routine than to people, so her asking for her father daily is probably because she's used to seeing him and playing with him at certain times. It won't hit her for a few years at least that he's supposed to be something more than the guy who comes at night and reads her stories. Like the others said, staying around for this kind of crap will only hurt everyone more in the end. I definitely agree that dating right away would be a bad idea; with him fresh in your mind, you're likely to be attracted to the same kind of jerks out of habit.
ain't love grand?!
