[samandsunshine]

Hey everyone, I was wondering if I could get some advice on how you handle social activities when dealing with a binge-eating disorder. I binged and purged pretty regularly my first year of college, managed to get it under control for the next year and a half. However, this winter and a few times this semester I have fallen off the wagon and gone on some terrible binge-purge cycles. I'm trying to address the issue by eating more calories (I was overrestricting) and really trying to be accountable for my actions. The tips on this forum and other's stories have been a great source of support for me.

I've been doing very well over the past week, I even made it through the weekend without a major binge or any kind of purge. However, I find myself staying in at night rather than going out with friends. I skipped a movie over the weekend, a friend's birthday party, and a trivia night at a local bar just because I was afraid of the events triggering a binge purge! I'm always hungriest at night, and don't know how to go out and have fun without giving in to tons of calories and eventually spiraling into a binge/purge.

Does anyone have any advice?
Thanks!

[ASoutherner]

Hi there...I'm a shut-in due to illness but I hear you with the binge and purging...I've been that way for years..

I think your best bet would be to eat lightly all day so if you go out with your friends and you don't feel as if you can control yourself then have something heavier to eat.

I very seldom purge anymore...I haven't quit but I don't purge 4-5 times a day anymore...maybe twice a month...I got quite concerned about how my stomach was hurting after purging and was afraid of a Anurisim...a stomach anurisim(sp) will kill a person and I don't want to be that person...

So think about eating lightly during the day and then enjoy your friends because it ain't fun staying in all the time because you HAVE to.

Good Luck and Stay Well

ASoutherner~

[kaebea]

i understand.
when i'm doing well on my diet, i'll be less likely to go out with friends or family if i know eating will be involved. and it's always unhealthy stuff.

i think you will get used to it in time and be able to make wise food choices when you go out. it's possible to change our habits.

many people here will check out the menu of the restaurant they know they'll be going to ahead of time online so they know the lowest calorie options before hand.

if they are close friends, you can let them know your dilemma so they can help you stay on plan.

it's not easy, but in time you can make the changes. Don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up, just get back on track the next day.

[ellabelle]

I'm pretty much the same way. I've been binging way too often lately, and know that it'll get out of control if I go out to eat with friends or family. A normal restaurant meal might turn into four meal-sized snacks later in the night. I think in the long run staying in will probably hurt in the long run. You might feel like you're now depriving yourself of a normal social life, as well as the food you want. Sometimes if it's really an issue, I tell people before we go out that I can't eat for some reason. One of my friends is an alcoholic who tells people that she can't drink because she's on antibiotics. I kind of stole this, and sometimes say that certain food disagrees with my medicine. I can't backtrack once there that way, or people would ask about my excuse. I know this isn't a good long term situation, and that eventually going out will have to be a part of normal, everyday life. But, just try to take it one day at a time right now.

[fatmad]

I understand why you are not going, but again, over time, you will feel "punished" by your new healthier lifestyle, because you are missing out on friends. If you have a partner who is also missing out, or missing going out with you , problems can result from that too.
While a movie may be too long, can you go to a party for an hour?
Once there, stay away from the food table, and go a talk with a few friends, then leave after an hour. Practice this over and over.

Since I decided to stop bingeing, I have had four "mini-binges" if you will. (less food, less bad stuff) a couple of them happened at parties. I have friends who have a living room with a small coffee table right in front of the couch, and if you sit on the couch, its all right there. So I over did it, even when I didn't think I was so bad. Now when I go there, I don't sit in front of the food, I choose a different seat. I knit. I leave early.

Everyone here kept talking about making a plan, and that is really helpful. You might not be able to stick to the plan perfectly, but it helps a lot, and if you go off plan a bit, you will still be doing much better than if you had no plan and just ate n ate. (and ate and ate and ate.....sorry its what I do if I don't have a plan, really!)

I am still working at learning all of this, I have a party tomorrow night, and we are going out for an anniversary dinner so I have to make a plan for that, and I am doing just that, even as I type.....