[DollyR]

Have any of you had this happen? I have had two of my dearest friends in the past two weeks mention how I look when I eat or me trying to answer a question when I have food in my mouth.

The first was when I was eating vietnamese pho (spicy noodles) well....living here in Korea I have been eating noodles like the locals because it makes it easier. You put your head lower to the bowl and slurp a little. It keeps the splashing away to me. Anyway this friend of mine was across from me and she said "Wow you are really enjoying your noodles" I thought is she being sarcastic or just innocent about the whole thing. But I have to say it really bothered me. I felt like I looked like a big slob.

The other incident was Friday at lunch at work. One of my co-workers asked a question and I put my hand up to my mouth and covered it when I answered back because people get annoyed now a days when you don't answer right away if you have fod in your mouth...go figure. Well my other co-worker said something funny about my talking and not being understood.

Now I know niether of these incidents should bother me but I started questioning....do I eat too fast??? Do I look like a slob??? I am not sure....

The local culture eats fast in general and chews with their mouth open and chatting at the same time. These folks that made comments were Americans.....
So I decided that I am looking at portion control and eating slowly.

It all got under my skin so now I am trying to eat slower and put the fork down....

And then last night I get asked...don't you like the food???

Jeez!!!!

Has anyone here had this happen and how do you handle what are most likely innocent comments.

[Beautiful Ace]

Everybody will always be judgmental, if you eat to slow, too fast, too much, not enough.... This girl in my class really likes to have a couple bites of my food when I bring my moms cooking to school, and one day I got really full, on not that much, and I told her I was full so she could have the rest, and she said "but you didn't even eat anything how can you be full" That kind of bothered me, because to me thats like her saying "Your so big how do you get full on so little".... My neighbor has the problem that she's really thin and picky, one day when she was at a staff party, and didn't eat everything because she didn't like it, she overheard somebody saying "no wonder linda is so thin, she hardly eats." when in reality she just didn't like the food, and she's thin because of health problems... I don't know why im babbeling, I guess I just thought it might help to understand that no matter what people will be judging you, and you just have to look the other way.

[PhotoChick]

People often speak w/out thinking.

I honestly wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

>

[junebug41]

I wonder if you didn't have those comments back to back if you would feel the same way? I eat pho noodles the same way. I remember a Sex and the City episode where Miranda and Steve were eating noodles like that, too so I don't think you were being a slob- quite the opposite! I know something I normally wouldn't think twice about becomes something I chew on because I had the bad luck of getting comments back to back. You're kind of having a rash of them, aren't you?

And I also get instantly self-conscious when someone asks me a question when I have my mouth full.

I'm not familiar with the cultural differences you are dealing with, although I'm sure that would only confuse me even more!

[Beautiful Ace]

I took an etiquette class once, and they say that the most polite and classy thing to do when somebody tries to talk to you when you have food in your mouth, is to not make any sort of hand gesture, and no covering your mouth, just chew normally at whatever speed you usually do, and then when you're done, speak. People will see that you're chewing and understand, and if they get impatient that's just too bad for them, you know you were the one with good etiquette.

[JulieJ08]

I know I did used to eat too fast, and take bites too big. But you aren't necessarily doing that just because of a couple comments. Personally, I couldn't begin to get embarrassed at simply finishing chewing my bite before answering. What else am I possibly going to do? But I can understand how you would feel that way; I'm just suggesting a different way to look at it. On the other hadn, if someone says you must not like the food, you could say you couldn't possibly enjoy it if you were rushing through it.

[DollyR]

Some people speak without thinking and think the combination of these two incidents within a week of each other has given me a little bit of a complex. I know health wise it is better to eat slower and enjoy the smaller portions but I will just move on. Like you all said it is just small stuff compared to the bigger picture.

This other "hag" at work has just been plain stupid with dieting and eating advice and then saying stuff like OH MY GOD YOU ATE THE WHOLE THING!!! ...That lady and I have had verbal throwdowns about being intrusive and watching what she does rather than worrying about everyone else. She has since stopped because in her tiny little mind she thought she was being helpful and humorous at the same time.

I had to fix her wagon pretty quickly as did another lady sitting with us. Soe people have no filter......

What did Scarlett O'Hara say?? "Tomorrow is another day!"

[Ufi]

How about eating in front of a mirror or a video camera if you have one and then evaluating yourself? That way, you get to decide how you look.

I've found that food really is more enjoyable when eating slower and concentrating on each bite.

[zerocool]

Hi DollyR, I sometimes eat very fast, especially when I'm in a hurry or between tasks. I call it refueling. When I was in shape it was not embarrassing at all in fact I think I might have bragged about it a time or two. But now I notice a difference not just in the was other people look at me but I some times realize how fast I'm eating and I have become very self conscience of how I eat. A positive, I have begun to eat slower and with all the protocol of a prince (I don't want to be seen as the fat slob). As for the noodles... Slurp Away!!! It is still the best and most culturally correct way to eat them.
Z~